Cuddling during Mass

[pnewton]

Well it’s really NOT the very simple things that are distracting.
This is the problem with this thread, and what I meant before by a red herring. People are defining “cuddling” so many ways, so really the discusssion is pointless. Holding hands, an arm around your wife?

I know what you mean. Unfortuantely since it is not clear cut, one has to allow what passes as common decency to be determined by each individual, much in the same way attire is determined by the individual. I personall found jkarp’s description to be very reasonable, and probably not something that would upset you.

Here is a suggestion: if you consistently see one couple that is making out more than cuddling, then at some point mention it to your pastor. Let him deal with it, or not, and bow to his judgement. Also, people are very inflexible as to where they sit. Move to another part of the Church. First row works well to eliminate distractions and is usually not crowded.

 

[ac_claire]

This is what I’m posting in response to. I still haven’t heard a compelling argument as to why this is distracting or how it can cause a couple to lose focus during Mass.

PDAs can be distracting. This subject wouldn’t have been brought up at all and the thread wouldn’t be pages long if this wasn’t a real concern. One would hope that those who like to indulge in public displays of affection for some reason during Mass would at least try to restrain themselves out of charity for others at Mass. Instead of mocking them and telling them that no, they really aren’t distracted and if they are it must mean they’re lonely, don’t understand marriage, etc., etc. Whether it is sad that we are distracted isn’t really the point, is it?

To all those posters who believe that it is inappropriate to touch one’s spouse during Mass, I would recommend finding some good books on the subject of the sacrament of matrimony.

You’re asking us to study up on the subject of matrimony? Since when is marriage defined by how often you touch your spouse during Mass?

Here are some personal questions we can all ask ourselves: Is it possible that we can be 100% focused on the Mass when we’re cuddling and whispering with our spouse? Someone above said she didn’t see why she shouldn’t have her arm around her husband at Mass because that’s what they do at home on the couch. Do you think it’s glorifying God to treat his house and his Presence so casually?

Someone else said they shouldn’t have to turn their marriage off during Mass. Again, this is a totally different subject. By that logic, you’re effectively saying that the measure of your marriage is how much you can touch/hug/kiss your spouse during Mass.

 

[St_Francis_can]

Interesting topic of discussion which in my view is getting far too much feedback, but, alas…I’ll throw my two cents in.
As we sit in a pew, my beloved wife of ten years, will generally reach to hold my hand and I’ll hold hers in return. Ironicly, she is not the hand-holding-type, but she will reach for mine as we listen intently (we don’t follow along with the lector by reading the text in the missal) to the scripture readings or focus our attention on the homilist.
Secondly, at the sign of peace, we always kiss lightly on the lips, hug briefly, and express “peace be with you”.
Please consider reserving judgement about the actions of others and focus your attention on the mass despite what others do; we are. If this creates a lot of internal angst and distress for you, please consider praying for them…they may truly need to be raised up by your sincere prayers.

 

[RosalieM]

Here’s another two cents from one who has chosen the single vocation. I admit couples’ PDAs during Mass still makes me a little nervous. But that’s for me to work out. I’m sure the sisters and the priests don’t get nervous around couples’ PDA’s. I imagine couples’ PDAs in Mass could be compared to friends’ conversing, babies making noise or children getting restless in church. It’s in synch with their life. Everyone doesn’t become more contemplative upon entering the church. (Even though I might like that.)Our monsignor once said that he prays better alone and that the parish Masses are for the community to pray together. So if we don’t want to see cuddling, etc. distract us from our prayers, wouldn’t we do well to try and pray more in private as well as in church?

 

[RosalieM]

p.s. Fr. Groeschel suggested that if we are distracted during Mass, try going to early Mass. There will probably be less distractions. I have difficulty going to the 7a.m. or 7:30 a.m. Mass; but that could change.

 

[ac_claire]

Conciliar made an excellent point a few pages back, which bears reposting:

I maintain that anyone who is being honest will plainly admit that there is *a certain point *at which a display of affection which would be acceptable in another public setting is unacceptable at Mass. If you’re wiling to agree to that (and frankly it would be silly for anyone not to) the question is why? I answered it - the sacred time and place render it so. I may be surprised, but I don’t think any of us would feel the need to disagree with this.

My point then is this - we would do well to focus on what it is about the sacred time and space of Mass that places unique demands on us this way, and then revisit the original question in light of this.