Cursillo

[gh4]

Hello BlueRoses12, it’s great to see you!

I stand by what I’ve said. Some folks LOVE Cursillo. Some folks don’t. If you didn’t like your cursillo weekend or don’t want to experience a weekend, there is NOTHING at all wrong with you. It’s simply not a “one size fits all” program.

If you are invited to any ‘group,’ any ‘retreat’ or anything else and folks tell you “we can’t tell you what goes on, you have to experience it” then I say run, run far away and fast!

I remain happy, very very happy with the church that I now attend and belong to.

 

[Chiara_Mahoney]

I went on a women’s Cornerstone overnight at my parish. It wasn’t bad. Now some women in our parish’s Cornerstone group have been asking me to go to a cursillo. One of them even offered to sponsor me. The problem is they won’t tell me anything about what goes on, just “you’ll be waited on hand and foot, everything is taken care of, great company, great fun, etc etc etc” My husband said to check it out on the internet. I just went on the internet and found this site. I cant believe what I found! I would never let these people have me for a weekend no way. Some other women in our Cornerstone group are being asked to go on cursillo, too. I’'ll just tell them to check the internet and make up their own minds.

 

[gh4]

I went on a women’s Cornerstone overnight at my parish. It wasn’t bad. Now some women in our parish’s Cornerstone group have been asking me to go to a cursillo. One of them even offered to sponsor me. The problem is they won’t tell me anything about what goes on, just “you’ll be waited on hand and foot, everything is taken care of, great company, great fun, etc etc etc” My husband said to check it out on the internet. I just went on the internet and found this site. I cant believe what I found! I would never let these people have me for a weekend no way. Some other women in our Cornerstone group are being asked to go on cursillo, too. I’'ll just tell them to check the internet and make up their own minds.

I will forever be suspect of anyone who wants me to go anywhere for several days and won’t tell me what is going to happen there. I have friends who truly enjoyed their weekend, but my experience was not good. I will never again give up so much control of my life to people I don’t know ever again.
Trust your gut feeling and go with it.

 

[BlueRoses12]

Wow, I love this thread! It’s still going strong!

I’m still inspired by it. It just inspired me to do a song parody:

Apologies to Kevin Kadish and Meghan Trainor, songwriters, “All About That Bass”
Presented as parody under Fair Use doctrine

Because you know I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no silence
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no stillness
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no praying
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs – game playing!

Yeah, my momma she said don’t be craving to cuddle pals
She says, God is more than a group full of guys and gals,
You know I won’t be no cord-pulling Chatty Cathy doll,
Thinking there’s no real supernatural God – just the community’s all
You know I’m not going to sell my soul for human affection,
Nor hold hands for the Our Father and take dissidents’ direction

Because some people are all about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs, no formality
All about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs, no dignity
All about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs – real desperate
Sold their birthright anew for a bowl full of stew

 

[Eliza10]

Wow, I love this thread! It’s still going strong!

I’m still inspired by it. It just inspired me to do a song parody:

Apologies to Kevin Kadish and Meghan Trainor, songwriters, “All About That Bass”
Presented as parody under Fair Use doctrine

Because you know I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no silence
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no stillness
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no praying
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs – game playing!

Yeah, my momma she said don’t be craving to cuddle pals
She says, God is more than a group full of guys and gals,
You know I won’t be no cord-pulling Chatty Cathy doll,
Thinking there’s no real supernatural God – just the community’s all
You know I’m not going to sell my soul for human affection,
Nor hold hands for the Our Father and take dissidents’ direction

Because some people are all about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs, no formality
All about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs, no dignity
All about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs – real desperate
Sold their birthright anew for a bowl full of stew

:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping:

 

[gh4]

Wow, I love this thread! It’s still going strong!

I’m still inspired by it. It just inspired me to do a song parody:

Apologies to Kevin Kadish and Meghan Trainor, songwriters, “All About That Bass”
Presented as parody under Fair Use doctrine

Because you know I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no silence
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no stillness
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs, no praying
I’m all about the hugs, 'bout the hugs – game playing!

Yeah, my momma she said don’t be craving to cuddle pals
She says, God is more than a group full of guys and gals,
You know I won’t be no cord-pulling Chatty Cathy doll,
Thinking there’s no real supernatural God – just the community’s all
You know I’m not going to sell my soul for human affection,
Nor hold hands for the Our Father and take dissidents’ direction

Because some people are all about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs, no formality
All about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs, no dignity
All about the hugs, ‘bout the hugs – real desperate
Sold their birthright anew for a bowl full of stew

Wish I could sing this to the folks that were at the cursillo I attended!!

 

[Mummsie]

Thank you Mark and Charley for your punctuating something very important. Cursillo is an individual experience and there is no promise of any specific outcome. Your “results” will depend on your preparation, your sponsor’s efforts in preparing you, the faithfulness of the team to respecting the person, prayer, and many other things that are beyond your control.

I have read pages of responses in this posting and, as an active servant in the movement, just wanted to make sure the following is understood to those interested.

The Cursillo communities world-wide have been called to be faithful to the founded movement as it was approved, yes approved, by the Catholic Church. Some communities are in denial that their weekend embellishments have distracted from the purpose of the movement, and they are slowing the work of the Spirit to conform in authenticity. Other communities are working to be truly authentic.

Secrets, coercion, manipulation, are not our friends and are not part of an authentic weekend. Everything about the weekend can and should be discussed prior. Some Cursillistas may be working from a different understanding, but the lay training encourages full sharing about the weekend experience.

If someone is interested in Cursillo, seek out a sponsor in your diocese and discuss it. If they are secretive about any element, please ask to talk to their leadership. Cursillo is not for everyone, but Cursillo respects the whole person from the time you inquire about Cursillo or the when you are befriended by a Cursillista, until you no longer wish to be associated, if that should happen.

If you are interested in Cursillo without being asked, please pursue it because the Spirit works in all kinds of ways. If you are asked by a sponsor, feel blessed that they think of you as a good candidate. If you are not asked, feel blessed all the same, because it is not likely your time. Many times, sponsors will not have answers. That’s ok, because each diocesan movement is blessed with leadership that can answer questions.

Also Cursillo is a Lay-led movement and we have to be permitted to operate within a diocese and require a spiritual advisor to ensure we are true to the Church at all times. Although people make mistakes, the Holy Spirit does not. Prayer is extremely important to us.

I encourage the reference of official sources of Cursillo information, starting with the National Cursillo web site: www.natl-cursillo.org

PS. My apologies about the length of this posting, but this is important information.

Just felt the need to reprint your comments. I had a wonderful Cursillo. And it seems a majority of the posters here had good experiences as well. Unfortunately and sadly a few (4 or 5) had dreadful experiences. I am very sorry they went through that. And a special note to the “non-huggers”, if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Some people express their joy with hugs. Others do not. BlueRoses…Do you really think your song was constructive, charitable or loving? I’ll take a hug over sarcasm every time.

 

[gh4]

Some times sarcasm is a good thing, better than screaming in pain and anger. Once hurt by this mess called cursillo, it takes a VERY VERY long time to heal. So please remember that, it’s horrible for those of us who found a cursillo weekend very torturous. It’s been 3 years since I went and it’s taken me that long to get to the point where I don’t cry about it and can talk about the weekend without breaking into tears. 3 YEARS.
As I have stated before, when it’s good it seems that it’s very good and when it’s bad, it’s horrid.
Everyone’s feelings are valid, the good, the bad and the ugly. I know it’s difficult to listen to those of us who hated our weekends if you loved it. But this board has been a great place for me to work out some of those feelings, a place where I can let it all out, so to speak. It’s been cathartic for me. And I needed that. I’m amazed that there is so much love and care to those who make it through the weekend, lots of enthusiasm for them, lots of after care in meetings and lots of holding each other up.
But for those who are hurt, there is NOTHING, no love, no support from anyone, the group just ignores you, and you are expected to recover all alone, with no help from anyone who did the damage.
Our Mothers taught us that when you break something that belongs to someone else, you either fix it or you replace it. When you break someone’s spirit, you need to help rebuild it and you need to help fix it… but alas, not a single solitary person took any kind of responsibility or attempted to help me fix my spirit.
So, let BlueRose work out her feelings and don’t be offended… you can make that choice, to understand or to be offended. I do hope you’ll choose to understand.

 

[BlueRoses12]

Some times sarcasm is a good thing, better than screaming in pain and anger. Once hurt by this mess called cursillo, it takes a VERY VERY long time to heal. . . . I’m amazed that there is so much love and care to those who make it through the weekend, lots of enthusiasm for them, lots of after care in meetings and lots of holding each other up.
But for those who are hurt, there is NOTHING. . . .

Oh, my friend. Thank you for reminding me, reminding us, of what it’s all about.

 

[BlueRoses12]

: BlueRoses…Do you really think your song was constructive, charitable or loving?

Mummsie, could you explain to me why I should care about this? Why I, in particular, alone, out of all of the contributors to this conversation, should care? Especially when almost nobody else has done so?

Why did my parody song need to be “constructive, charitable, or loving”? How much of other people’s posts were thus?

Frankly, I thought my song was hilarious. It pointed out the Cursillo fans’ area of weakness – the fact that Cursillo is increasingly being considered passe, even dorky. Is there some reason I should refrain from pointing this out?

You have felt free to point out your conviction that it takes “control freaks” to use simple prudence in deciding whether to allow oneself to be carried away on a weekend, subjecting one’s spiritual life to unknown (name removed by moderator)ut. I highly doubt you’d stumble across a bag of prescription drugs on the street and decide to consume them yourself, but when it comes to this weekend thing, only “control freaks” would exercise any kind of caution. Of course, you’ve done this in a very sweet and polite manner, so much so, one could easily miss the implication.

It’s only now, after I post my funny, well-received song parody, that you’ve decided to become something of a “hall monitor” and upbraid someone. I find your choice, of who to upbraid, interesting.

You never felt the need to upbraid Jeremiah, for one thing. He was the one who came right after me with knives drawn, openly mocking my psychiatric history – the one thing I had to disclose to explain my stance and the harm done me by Cursillo. His last post was an attack on GH4.

Who defended GH4? Me.

Who defended me? crickets chirping

It is increasingly known that the one and only thing that will stop bullies is the intervention of bystanders. You chose not to intervene after witnessing Jeremiah’s bullying. You chose, instead, to intervene with me.

I wonder why that is?

 

[gh4]

I will defend you BlueRoses!! I will defend anyone who had a bad experience.

Having a less than wonderful cursillo experience does NOT make us bad. It does not make us control freaks. It does not make us crazy. It does not mean there is something wrong with us.
It means that cursillo is different everywhere you go, it means that it works for some and not others.
I think it’s a real shame that there is no care for those who are hurt, no one calls to see if they are doing ok, no one gives a hot diddly darn if they are having trouble with it or anguishing about it or crying over it or feeling their faith slip away. NO ONE GIVES A DAMN. And that is a real problem. I think the ones who have problems with it need more aftercare than those who love it.
BUT those who love it soon forget that it was a nightmare for some of us. My sponsor never once called me to see if there was something she could help me with or to just listen to me or talk to me. NOT ONCE.
So I took my broken and spiritually battered self to another church and found people who cared about my spirituality. And that’s when my healing process began.

Don’t belittle what we do to recover, don’t make remarks about sarcastic words to a song. What does that matter to you? Does it hurt your faith or spirituality?
We need to do what we need to do. And one of the things I will do for the rest of my life is tell people who ask about cursillo that it’s not always rainbows and unicorns and love and hug fests. I will tell them to do their due diligence and research cursillo. READ the good and read the bad and hopefully if they attend, it will be with their eyes wide open. And if they choose not to attend, then so be it.

Because of cursillo, I won’t even got to a meeting in another town and ride with someone else… I ALWAYS want that option to get the heck out of there under my own steam. I WILL NEVER BE TRAPPED anywhere ever again without my own vehicle. NOT EVER.
There were horrible things said to me while I was waiting for my ride to take me home. The priest was nasty and said horrible things. Several of the women from the “giving” team said some awful things to me. NEVER again.

 

[Mummsie]

Thanks for your response, gh4. I can’t possibly understand the trauma you sustained. But I can certainly sympathize with you and pray for your continued healing.

As for sarcasm, I understand in the heat of the moment, one is hurt and simply reacts with hurtful words. But, I was once told that sarcasm comes from a root word meaning “to tear apart”. And I feel “the song” was a cold and calculating attack to tear apart something that was very good for me and most of the others on this post. Perhaps, a private message between the song writer and you might have been more appropriate.

Cursillo is not right for everyone. Many questions should be asked of a sponsor before attending. This could save some people from repeating your pain, or it could be just what the questioner is looking for.

God Bless you.

 

[Brother_Andre]

You should go on an Opus Dei retreat. There is no love bombing or anything nutty like that. Opus Dei is a very prayerful and amazing organization. Straight down the line orthodox Catholicism…not “conservative”, whatever that is it, but orthodox. All the classic old wonderful Catholic practices.

You’d love it: A weekend of prayer, reflection, excellent lectures (“meditations” they call them), Mass, rosary, spiritual reading and, my favourite, “lay talks” where a lay member of Opus Dei give a reflective talk on some benign topic, but from the Opus Dei context. Topics like friendship, or apostolate, or study, or being publicly Catholic. Stuff like that.

They are a little expensive because they tend to be held in classy retreat centres and the food is always really good.

 

[Chiara_Mahoney]

Recently I was telling a good friend of my father-in-law about Cursillo, and about how I decicded not to go on one, mainly because of all the secrecy, and how I found out about it on this site. Harold is not computer literate, so he can’t look things up. He asked me how old someone has to be to go on a cursillo. He is a widower, and kind of lonely. I told him I didn’t think he would like it, but he asked me how old can you be to go on one. I couldn’t find out on the internet.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Recently I was telling a good friend of my father-in-law about Cursillo, and about how I decicded not to go on one, mainly because of all the secrecy, and how I found out about it on this site. Harold is not computer literate, so he can’t look things up. He asked me how old someone has to be to go on a cursillo. He is a widower, and kind of lonely. I told him I didn’t think he would like it, but he asked me how old can you be to go on one. I couldn’t find out on the internet.

This site suggests at least 21 but younger if their pastor thinks they are mature enough.
seas-np.org/precursillo.htm

 

[Chiara_Mahoney]

This site suggests at least 21 but younger if their pastor thinks they are mature enough.
seas-np.org/precursillo.htm

I meant the maximum age to attend a cursillo. My father-in-law’s friend is approaching his golden years. Sorry.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I meant the maximum age to attend a cursillo. My father-in-law’s friend is approaching his golden years. Sorry.

I’m not aware of one. Cursillo is for mature adults. Age doesn’t always equal maturity, emotionally or spiritually, but I’d say time is probably on his side.

 

[JRRTFAN]

Hi KimberlyAnn!

Cursillo is intended to be an individual experience (there are never “couple’s” weekends, though some communities hold reunion retreats for couples). Despite that, it is usually recommended that spouses attend in close succession so they have common experiences to share (Cursillistas - those who have completed Cursillo - are discouraged from sharing their experiences with non-Cursillistas so the latter will not have their experience spoiled if they decide to go).

Some alumnae do take roles in leading later sessions but this is NOT the purpose of Cursillo.

Alumnae are not required to continue in 4[sup]th[/sup] day or other reunion events but doing so can help to prolong and enrich the experience. It would be possible to participate in them infrequently and even not at all for some time and then return when your schedule permits.

There’s a guy at work who is big time into Cursillo and recommends it highly. My wife being a non-Catholic kind of knocks me out of contention but he told me I already know everything they’d say anyway. But if you can, I think you should consider it.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

There’s a guy at work who is big time into Cursillo and recommends it highly. My wife being a non-Catholic kind of knocks me out of contention but he told me I already know everything they’d say anyway. But if you can, I think you should consider it.

You can still be a part of Cursillo. Read this link seas-np.org/precursillo.htm it has specific guidelines for couples in which one is non-Catholic.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

There’s a guy at work who is big time into Cursillo and recommends it highly. My wife being a non-Catholic kind of knocks me out of contention but he told me I already know everything they’d say anyway. But if you can, I think you should consider it.

It occurred to me that your coworker could invite you to his grouping or if that is out of your way, someone from your parish could invite you to their regular group meetings. The groupings are made up of Cursillistas to share how their evangelizing is going and how they are growing in faith. You do not need to have gone on a weekend to participate in a grouping. In fact, it’s a excellent way to find out if Cursillo is for you because that is the heart of Cursillo. Cursillo is not a weekend retreat; the retreat is just how it starts.