Dating a baptist... help?

[datingtrappists]

I’ve heard this great quote–can’t remember from whom–about apologetics… You may win the argument but still lose the soul.

I think that your approach with your boyfriend is a wonderful one, especially about coercing and forcing him to be Catholic. I suggest answer all of the questions he asks with, of course, great charity but with truth (and if you don’t know the answer, the forums is a great place to ask and learn), and entrust him to Our Lady and ask for St. Monica’s intercessions.

And converting from Southern Baptist isn’t unheard of… RedSoxWife is one example, and I personally know quite a few other converts to Catholicism from a Southern Baptist congregation, and, out of all of the Catholics I know, they are probably some of the most on fire with the faith and most informed.

 

[jwashu]

Wow, now that I’ve looked at the comments way up above mine I feel even more lucky that my husband married me, non-Catholic at the time that I was. If he’d followed the advice you’ve gotten I would probably be a cynical agnostic who’d lost my faith and couldn’t figure out what I was looking for. If he’s genuinely interested in learning I’d do everything I could to encourage it.

AMEN!

God often uses us in many ways if we allow Him to do so, don’t be so hasty to throw someone under the bus as some would suggest here.

If you are open to following His will, it may be that you are meant to bring this young man home… or maybe not. Time will tell if he is sincere and open.

As my son’s get older, I have 4, I hope they find a good Catholic girl but if they don’t, I just pray for someone who loves God and loves them and has an open mind to consider becoming Catholic. I would probably even be ok with a devout mainline Protestant who wanted to keep their faith (they usually aren’t anti-Catholic) if they truly loved Christ and my son.

Joe

 

[jwashu]

Thanks guys… I own “Rome Sweet Rome” because my Mom is a big fan of Scott Hann and buys me alot of his books… so I’ll pass it along to him, or offer to read it with him.

We were talking again last night, and he said he wants to learn all he can about my faith. He is deployed right now, and said that the chaplains passed out rosaries and rosary booklets, so he has been teaching himself the prayers and how to pray the rosary.

I don’t want to tell him “you have to become catholic in order to be with me” because i want him to love me for who i am, and i want him to worship God as he feels right. Forcing a religion on someone (even if it is the right religion) will only cause them to grow to hate it… I want him to choose for himself.
Am i totally off? Or is that true? I’ve just seen relationships where the guy will only go to church for his gf or wife, but he doesn’t want to be there and hates it.

I think you are right on target! I have a bunch of evangelical friends who promote the idea of scaring people into salvation… or getting the “saved” by whatever method works… I guess that’s ok if you believe OSAS but sadly few of those people remain practicing Christians long.

I think your approach is best.

PS - it’s great you have Hahn’s book but I would seriously recommend sending him Currie’s as well. His parents taught at a fundamentalist Bible College, his bother is an evangelical minister etc… so there are a lot of “baptist” thinking debunked in that book.

 

[kprobson]

I think you have the right approach. The posters who recommended only dating Catholics raised some important points to consider, but it’s not a universal norm. I don’t think you need to hurry up and dump the guy immediately simply because he isn’t Catholic. It’s a definite plus that he is open to learning more about the Catholic faith. If he wasn’t, that would be a severe roadblock.

As you may have noticed in my last post, I did not dump my non-Catholic boyfriend. Rather, I married him. And we stayed married.

It takes more than love to keep a marriage together. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done - - all the time.

I wanted to point out that it is very possible to have a mixed marriage. But you have to go into it with your eyes open.

If a boyfriend/girlfriend is open to Catholicism that’s great! Even if they’re not, just know you have a lot of responsibility you’ll have to deal with, and it’s up to you to decide whether you can/want to handle it.

My DH brings a lot to our marriage, and to the girls. It just isn’t anything Catholic.

Consider everything. Be a little flexible when it comes to some Catholic things. For instance, DH can eat an accompanying meat on meatless Fridays. He can have a hot dog when we have macaroni and cheese. He can have a cheeseburger when we have grilled cheese. However, if we have a main meatless thing like spinach quiche or fish fry he has to join us.

Over the years DH has learned a lot about Catholic doctrine and prayers. He still chooses not to convert, and I’ve never pushed him. I present the information and love. It’s his choice on partaking. Or not.

Think logically. Pray. Enjoy the gifts you receive.

• K

 

[manualman]

I hate being the wet blanket, but DO remember that dating easily becomes love, and that quickly leads to marriage. Sure there are those from whom the “kissin’ evangelization” works out well. God bless 'em.

And then you have those like my sister who married a European atheist because “we’re in love, and he respects my beliefs and is open to them.” Until the honeymoon was over and the infatuation wore off. THEN he reverts to “I changed my mind, I’m not bringing kids into this barren world” attitude again. And now she’s STUCK and the biological clock is running out.

Some people DO come out of it OK. But you’re gambling with your ONE chance at marriage here. I prefer loading the dice as much as possible. Only you can decide when to throw yours. Choose wisely.

 

[forever_always]

Hi!

I am a candidate who is praying this will finally be my year to come in at Easter (annulment issues with DH sigh). Anyway…

The best thing I EVER did was join, and stay, with the RCIA class. It’s been 4 years, and I’ve seen the program change and grow to meet the needs of the Church’s ‘children’. Encourage him to join, if for no other reason than to be properly educated. Catechesis is a difficult journey to undertake, and what better way than to get to know each other than to grow in your faith together?

Remind him there’s no obligation to stay at all! But, there are SO many Baptists in my class that compare notes and really engage each other in awesome conversation!

And, praying the Rosary is a great start! Good luck!

Peace be with you

That is a good idea I will tell him about RCIA and see what he thinks… if anything, it’s a great learning thing, for both of us.

 

[forever_always]

I hate being the wet blanket, but DO remember that dating easily becomes love, and that quickly leads to marriage. Sure there are those from whom the “kissin’ evangelization” works out well. God bless 'em.

And then you have those like my sister who married a European atheist because “we’re in love, and he respects my beliefs and is open to them.” Until the honeymoon was over and the infatuation wore off. THEN he reverts to “I changed my mind, I’m not bringing kids into this barren world” attitude again. And now she’s STUCK and the biological clock is running out.

Some people DO come out of it OK. But you’re gambling with your ONE chance at marriage here. I prefer loading the dice as much as possible. Only you can decide when to throw yours. Choose wisely.

I’m sorry about your sister’s situation. I’ll keep her and her husband in my prayers. Also, thank you for your advice.