Dating / Courtship 101 Question

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JamalChristophr

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Question for the women: coffee versus straight to lunch

Getting acquainted…

Is it okay to just skip the “would you like to do coffee sometime?” and go straight to "would you like to do lunch sometime?"

Is that an acceptable thing to do, ladies, or would that make you uncomfortable?
People tell me asking a woman out to lunch is too much for the first get acquainted meeting. I would prefer to go straight to lunch, is that acceptable when asking a girl to do something. (She is a mature twenty-three, friendly and devout, knows me on a friendly basis but we have not talked at any great length)

(You can answer generally or with the specific information I offered in mind.)

Friendly girls / women can be hard to read sometimes. I mean when they seem to be warm and friendly to everyone on an an equal opportunity basis.

I got a big “Hi Jamal!” this morning when I was doing something and had my back turned to her. Anyways, maybe it’s better to keep the question more general than circumstantial.
 
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JamalChristophr said:
Is it okay to just skip the “would you like to do coffee sometime?” and go straight to “would you like to do lunch sometime?”
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First of all, I’m not woman. But there’s an awkward silence here so I’ll chime in.

Coffee or lunch?..same thing, same purpose, same intent. So, it really doesn’t matter. Neither one is a formal dinner date.

So I think you need to get to know her a little more since you seem unsure about how she feels about you. Talk to her more and see how things go. It’s not that difficult to work a conversation in that direction and then see how she reacts.
 
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I think lunch would be OK,it would still be casual and give an easy atmosphere and time frame to talk more at length .
 
Lunch is better in my opinion. I agree dinner and a movie is a real date, but if you don’t want it to really be a date, lunch is good. Coffee just sounds so…disinterested. ( I am only willing to buy coffee because maybe I am not that into you.)
 
Thanks irishmom,

I just needed a little confirmation. I don’t need a date date. So I think this a good in between thing. At least I can ask and finally get it over with since I’ve been pondering it a year or so.
 
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JamalChristophr said:
Is it okay to just skip the “would you like to do coffee sometime?” and go straight to “would you like to do lunch sometime?”
Click to expand...
I didn’t know there was now a formal progression from coffee to lunch.
I wouldn’t last a week in this crazy new dating world you kids have invented.
Guys used to just invite me to “go out” and we’d either get in his car and drive around wherever the mood struck us or else we’d go hang out in some neighborhood where there were a lot of coffee and lunch and shops and interesting stuff to do.
Actually my husband and I just hung out in his or my apartments for about a month before we ever got around to going on a real “date”. I’m trying to remember where we went on our first official “date”. It involved riding the DC Metro someplace because it was my first time on there. I suspect maybe it was the Air and Space Museum.
Museums are good places to go.
Pizza and coffee shops too.
 
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This.

Why do folks want to make it so complicated?

Go on a date!
 
While I understand the desire for caution, women in general seek initiative in a man. If you’re looking to eventually get married, you will one day be the head of a household. Too much hesitation or indecisiveness won’t serve you well in that role. How you present yourself now is a primary indicator to a woman as to what you will be like as a husband, so don’t ruminate too long. Don’t rush in like a fool either, but at least with this particular woman I think there’s no risk of that 😉

(Married over 15 years)
 
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Coffee is nice, but lunch is nice too. I don’t know why there’s a difference haha but I suppose a coffee “date” is something that doesn’t necessarily have romantic overtones to it. I don’t really think a lunch date does either, but that’s just me.

My husband and I went straight to dinner for our first date.
 
So did we. Of course, after spending eleven hours on a transatlantic red-eye I would have been less than impressed if he didn’t take me to dinner 😀
 
We used to work for the same company, just on different continents. That’s how we met.
 
I can climb Mount Everest, go base jumping, and sky diving, but this asking women out is actually scarey for me. Thanks everyone.

There is, however, one complicating circumstance I would rather not go into here.
 
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