Dating / Courtship 101 Question

  • Thread starter Thread starter JamalChristophr
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Well, I’ve noticed on the forum that many people will say something in their original topic opener and get scrutinized, and maybe they were not expecting to be and no harm was meant, generally speaking, by the posters, but I can say I’d rather not be scrutinized and advised on this particular thing but use my own judgment.

(you’re right, though, it was a bit of a tease. Not intended though)
 
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I totally understand that! You are under no obligation to spill your guts here, lol!
 
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Well, I got a pretty clear sign today. I’ll take that as from being from Divine Providence.

I saw her this morning and stopped as if to talk with her a bit. But I could see although she was friendly and polite enough, there wasn’t a chemistry there, she didn’t hesitate at all to keep walking, though I stood there for a few seconds to see if she would.

That’s ok. too big an age gap anyways. Nice girl, though.

Thanks Everyone.
 
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I’d be sneaky.

lead with the “coffee or something”, then suggest lunch if she says yes.

This gives her the option of redirecting it back to a coffee date.

The lunch should be low key, a chance to talk rather than impress with an expensive meal.
 
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JamalChristophr said:
Well, I got a pretty clear sign today. I’ll take that as from being from Divine Providence.

I saw her this morning and stopped as if to talk with her a bit. But I could see although she was friendly and polite enough, there wasn’t a chemistry there, she didn’t hesitate at all to keep walking, though I stood there for a few seconds to see if she would

That’s ok. too big an age gape anyways. Nice girl, though.
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I wouldn’t read too much into one encounter since it sounds like you had several previous positive encounters. Our mind will give us excuses not to take such chances.

People have bad days, or even weeks where they are preoccupied. Remember a coffee or lunch date may just lead to a casual friendship, not a bad thing in and of itself.
 
Seriously?

You stopped to talk to her. Of course you don’t feel “chemistry”, that happens when you get to know a person. It is not some thing that just happens like lightening out of the blue.

Ask the woman out, buy her a meal. Talk to her.
 
I agree to some degree, but I think in this case she would have made some sign. If a girl has an interest, there would have been a sign there, I think.

I’m not going to pursue it any further. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or embarrass myself as there is a considerable age gap and young women often don’t want that sort of attention from a guy who is considerably older.

I also believe that Divine Providence orders things to make doors open when that is what he wants.

Thanks though.
 
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Well, you do whatever you think is right, but I wouldn’t be too quick to say that she wasn’t interested. She may very well have been in a hurry. She might have been having a bad day. There are tons of reasons why she did not stop to talk.
 
JamalChristophr said:
I agree to some degree, but I think in this case she would have made some sign. If a girl has an interest, there would have been a sign there, I think.

I’m not going to pursue it any further. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or embarrass myself as there is a considerable age gap and young women often don’t want that sort of attention from a guy who is considerably older.
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Nope, you won’t see a sign when someone is preoccupied. Boss asked for something important right away, something going wrong with family or friends, something going wrong in your personal life, car problems, etc etc.

Don’t discount what you noticed earlier, and just keep it as a casual coffee to get to know each other a bit better.

My vote is that you don’t just walk away. It’s good to take chances and feel a bit foolish at times.
 
Well, I see what you guys are saying, but that was two third guys answering too. It was just weird, because it feels like a mixed message.
 
Jamal, sometimes you just have to come out of your comfort zone. Ask her another day. What is the worst that can happen? She might say no.

But she might say yes. 😉
 
I think it might be possible that she likes me some as far as an attraction goes, but she knows, too, that there is too big an age gap, so she’s leaving it.
 
I think that may be something that you would consider over lunch.
 
I wish I had no interest in women at all, nothing personal ladies, but it would make my life so much simpler!
 
I’d rather not, but thanks everyone for answering. I appreciate your kindness.
 
One date is not a marriage proposal.

Unless you are 67 and she is 17, I’d let her decide if you are too old.
 
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