Dating/courtship

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jason3477

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So I was wondering… other than catholic dating websites, how can we meet single catholics?

I’m thinking maybe at mass/adoration or at prayer groups at the parish or in the confession line maybe?

What do you all think?

btw-I’m 34 and never been married yet. and I’ve never dated either…

and I’m in RCIA to recieve the Sacrament of Confirmation…
 
Hey Jason.

It might help to meet join a young adult Catholic group? I went to a party with some young adult Catholics, and there were some gorgeous women there. I’m a bit partial-my date was the prettiest though! 😉

How about a Catholic/Christian bookstore?

And also-CAF is incredible. I’ve met two wonderful, (and I mean that, they are amazing) women through this site. One is a true friend I’ve met several times and I love like a sister, the other was my date to the party I mentioned!

Your about the same age as I am-just pray, take it slow, and above all else, remain optimistic and be happy.

Your in my prayers my friend.
 
The confession line might be a bit extreme. People are generally not there to socialize. 🙂

Catholic singles websites are a good way to meet like-minded individuals. Getting involved in parish and diocesan young adult activities is also a good medium. Pro-life activities and Catholic social ministries are another avenue as are parish groups and adoration, etc.
 
I am not a fan of online dating at all. It’s so unnatural and sterile to me. So, I have to do things the old-fashioned way. The other two posters gave you some good ideas. I’m just going to add on to their advice a little.

Attend these things for the purpose of growing yourself spiritually and gaining friendships with like minded people. If you go into it thinking you’re going to meet someone to potentially date, you’ll likely end up frustrated that it’s not happening faster. Enjoy the events for what they are and pray that God leads you to the right vocation.

I’m rapidly approaching 31. For a little while, I was frustrated that my life wasn’t going the direction I wanted (marriage, kids, etc). I have finally wrapped my head around one concept, this isn’t necessarily about what I want. This is about what God knows is best for me. In time, things will go the way they should although it might be very different than what should happen in my opinion.

When I get to the point that I’m frustrated again, I’ll repeat the above to myself.
 
There is a young adult group at my parish for both singles and married couples. They do a lot of really fun activities (well, I like the idea of intellectual conversation over a few drinks 😉 - but they do other things too).

I would also say try and meet people at activities that interest you even if they aren’t church-related. You never know who you’ll find. Even if you don’t meet someone who is spouse material at that activity, you might meet someone who introduces you to someone who is. And/Or you meet someone who can be a great friend.
 
If you can make it to Denver for the National Catholic Singles Conference that might help:

nationalcatholicsingles.com/denver2012/

Additionally, if there is a Catholic activity that you are intersted in (such as a Catholic softball team), look into that. The last lady I dated I met at the National Catholic Singles Conference, and the reason we were able to break the ice is that when she walked past me I recognized her name from a local Catholic motorcycle email list I helped maintain (and she recognized me as well). Bit of advice, however: find out early on if she is done discerning convent or not.
 
Catholic Answers is based in San Diego, they must have some single employees! 😛
 
Yeah, mass, adoration, rosary, parish events.
Haha, don’t flirt in the confession line, awkkkward…
 
That’s it! The confession line! That’s the place!

Just kidding… I’m in the same boat. I’m a divorced 40+ y/o (annulment is just one pen-stroke from being decreed) and I will be going through this myself (crossing fingers, saying a quick prayer) …assuming everything goes well.

I made the “error” of joining the KofC… not going to meet many like-minded women there! :rolleyes: 😃
 
It may help to have the ability to approach a stranger and start a conversation, this I can tell you. 😉 (To the point of “Excuse me but that is such a nice haircut you have,” although I’ve never got myself to pull it off in or near a church.)

As for dating websites, they can be good but remember to be careful. Make your observations, take your mental notes, analyse a bit, don’t repeat the same mistakes, and pay attention to red flags. This is actually similar to meeting people in offline situations, there is just some need for adaptation.
 
Rascalking said:
And also-CAF is incredible. I’ve met two wonderful, (and I mean that, they are amazing) women through this site. One is a true friend I’ve met several times and I love like a sister, the other was my date to the party I mentioned!
Click to expand...
It’s funny CAF is the one site that I go to regularly that I have not thought about meeting anyone.

It seems to me that most men my age who I would be interested in are married anyway.

That’s if I were in the market. 😃

Anyway in terms of meeting people, I would get on the mailing list of groups that have Catholic activities and just attend. For example, I attend some things run by the Catholic Artists society and I attended a chant seminar.

If you’re shy, a simple smile or comment about what’s happening at the event is enough to start mild conversation.

If the conversation goes well, you can exchange emails. Asking for an email seems to be a less daunting task than asking for a phone number. At least that’s what it looks like from my perspective as a woman.

The other day I went to an event, and there was a guy I had been having pretty good discussion with and as we said goodbye, I saw him hesitate quite a bit almost as if he wanted to ask me for contact information, but as he was married, I’m sure he resisted that temptation.

Good for him! 😃
 
domandcarols said:
Yeah, mass, adoration, rosary, parish events.
Haha, don’t flirt in the confession line, awkkkward…
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Parish events, I understand.

The part I don’t understand is: mass, adoration, rosary. Practically speaking, how does one meet others at mass, adoration or the rosary?

Obviously you are not going to speak to anyone during these events.

So, what are you doing, relying on them to stick around afterwards? And, how are you approaching people in that situation?
 
Nec5 said:
“Come here often?”
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👍:clapping::rotfl::rotfl:

Seriously that would make me LOL and I’d have a hard time not giggling in the confessional. Then I’d have ANOTHER sin to confess!

Great opener! I would have said, “Not in confession and NOT in adoration, it’s a private time!” but with that line, I changed my mind.
 
The singles sites are fun to try just don’t run your expectations tot high. Depending on the area you live and what site you chose there may not be many local members. I know several couple who have met and married through online dating but it’s really a wild shoot or numbers game in my opinion. The best sites are Avemaria.com or Catholicmatch.com. I was on Catholicmatch.com for around 6 years and maybe dated 1 person per year and only 2 seriously both relationships went nowhere. I have a friend that met his wife on Avemaria.com which is expensive but supposed to be only for people seriously looking for marriage. I was there 2 years and only people from Canada contacted me…I live in MO…lol So do the online thing if you want just don’t take it that seriously and keep expectations on the level of trying to find friends with the possible potential for more verses finding the love of your life and be open to long distance relationships as well or you are just wasting your time and money. Keep in mind too some people on those dating sites tend to be commitment phobics or may have social problems and are not always what they portray so go cautiously and meet in person in a public place as soon as you feel comfortable doing so.

The other option which I think is better is to have your family or friends on the lookout for you and get involved in activity groups. Good luck.:cool:
 
Boy! Wish I knew… I’ve given up on the online sites. I live in a very small community. My new parish has NO gentlemen my age (at least, none who attend Mass on Sunday). I’ve pretty much given up on meeting anyone. Haha. At least, while I’m here I have.

But if anyone has any ideas for meeting single late 20s Catholics in a small parish with few people I’d love to hear the suggestions.
 
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