Dating/courtship

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Nec5 said:
“Come here often?”
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I practically live at my parish and I haven’t really met anybody through events or around church that I’m interested in. I figure God will give me a lady if that is what he desires of me.
 
nickybr38 said:
Boy! Wish I knew… I’ve given up on the online sites. I live in a very small community. My new parish has NO gentlemen my age (at least, none who attend Mass on Sunday). I’ve pretty much given up on meeting anyone. Haha. At least, while I’m here I have.

But if anyone has any ideas for meeting single late 20s Catholics in a small parish with few people I’d love to hear the suggestions.
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Maybe start a singles group in your parish. I would do so in but I work 2 jobs and am already in several activity groups and have trouble finding time just to do my laundry these days let alone anything else.
 
Luvz2travel said:
Maybe start a singles group in your parish. I would do so in but I work 2 jobs and am already in several activity groups and have trouble finding time just to do my laundry these days let alone anything else.
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I work 2 jobs as well. 🙂 My only day off is Sunday. I AM active in my parish (as much as I can be) but there really aren’t any people my age in the parish. They’re all older folk so even if I started a singles group I would be the single person attending! HAHA.

I suppose I should have worded my original comment more clearly…
 
nickybr38 said:
I work 2 jobs as well. 🙂 My only day off is Sunday. I AM active in my parish (as much as I can be) but there really aren’t any people my age in the parish. They’re all older folk so even if I started a singles group I would be the single person attending! HAHA.

I suppose I should have worded my original comment more clearly…
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Maybe find yourself a single 60 year old guy?😃

… just a thought.
 
I think a man hitting on me in the Confession line would be creepy. Sorry just my opinion. Try your young adult group just take it slow you don’t want to be “that one” that is there for the wrong reasons.
 
chevalier said:
Here, here’s my business card. Just in case you may need it. Nothing specific in mind, mind you.
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I’d take the business card if you were a girl. In particular a pretty one! 😉

Merry Christmas my friend!
 
I haven’t read through the whole thread, so I don’t know if I’m repeating anything, but as a woman myself I can give you some great advice on starting up a conversation with someone you’re interested in.

It’s very,very simple. Just comment on something very mundane, “that’s a nice coat”, or something more covert like “where did you get the bulletin?” That’s all you need. Then, you just say, “oh by the way, my name is John. Are you from the area?” And then just let the conversation flow naturally. You probably won’t get a date right away, but you make yourself familiar to her. Be patient. Don’t go right up to woman and say, “hey, I’ve seen you around.” You may be completely innocent, but we don’t like knowing strange men are looking at us without saying anything. Don’t be shy. The nice ones don’t bite.

For now, I would just suggest putting it out of your mind and becoming more comfortable in your faith. The most attractive men to me are the ones who put their faith first. They then become irresistible to me. I can’t remember who said it, but there is a saying that there is nothing more in the world more attractive to a woman in love with God than a man who is in love with God. This is so true.

Blessings.
 
Wow…

But like I said-Online dating is not for me-I prayed about it allready lol…

So here’s the thing- before you date, you have to be friends first-in my opinioin.

But-the question is then=how do you make friends with other Catholics?

My thoughts remain the same on this=going to Daily Mass and getting involved in groups at your/my local parrish…etc etc etc…

so what do you think?
 
jason3477 said:
Wow…

But like I said-Online dating is not for me-I prayed about it allready lol…

So here’s the thing- before you date, you have to be friends first-in my opinioin.

But-the question is then=how do you make friends with other Catholics?

My thoughts remain the same on this=going to Daily Mass and getting involved in groups at your/my local parrish…etc etc etc…

so what do you think?
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Since you asked what we thought, I’ll give you a different perspective on the bolded part.

Where two people are mutually attracted to each other, starting as friends is probably not a problem for either of them. It shouldn’t be a problem for someone who is attracted but is not “madly in love”. However, once you know you want a relationship and the other person is a socially active individual that may likely form a relationship with someone other than you in the meantime, you don’t really think about becoming friends first. Also, for some people, friendship generally entails the infamous friend-zoning, meaning you become nonattractive, forever a pal and nothing more, and yet others just don’t want to risk losing a friendship and won’t date you.

Finally, artificial restrictions are just awkward. Becoming just friends is not a natural reaction to falling in love with someone. “Wow, what a lovely girl! I could marry her. In fact, I’d love to marry someone like her. Let’s become friends!” is probably not a train of thought that will ever occur in a male brain, I think.

This said, while I want to make my intentions clear if I’m taken by a lady, and while I won’t cross certain boundaries, it wan’t exactly look like gaining another colleague. On the other hand, I like slow pace and I believe there’s a lot of good things to say about it. In fact, whenever a relationship prospect appears for me, friendship inevitably builds up along with any sort of attraction, flirting etc. It’s not a mere game of senses. I also want to tone things down a couple of notches with people whom I first meet online on a “dating site” or in some random social circumstances, in which case it is first of all making acquaintance in the beginning (in fact, it will generally stay at “sir/madam” level for a while), and I very much appreciate a lot of level-headed, non-intrusive simple readiness to talk, without introducing tension by overly flirty moves. 😉 Then again, were I smitten and charmed, there’s no doubt I totally wouldn’t mind flirty moves. But I typically am not smitten to that level. Basically, I believe the degree of being smitten matters a lot in people’s approach to all this friends stuff, as well as a number of other boundaries.
 
jason3477 said:
I’m sticking to my guns about the friends first thing-becasue that’s why Jason Evert from Chastity.com recomends…
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Haha.

Yeah… um… I know plenty of people with perfectly lovely marriages who weren’t friends first.

Friends first is the ideal, I’m sure, but there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to these things. We have to be open to what comes and to what God is telling us instead of putting things in a neat little box and refusing anything that doesn’t fit in the box. 🤷

Just my two cents.
 
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