Dating, higher education, sex ratios, and the hookup culture

[fnr]

I heard a fascinating interview with Jon Birger, the author of a new book, Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game.

In the interview, the author argued that the rise of “hookup culture” on college campuses and in urban cities is largely a function of women outperforming men in educational attainment. He noted that nationally, there are more women with college degrees than men among those under about 40 years old.

According to his model, college educated women are finding it difficult to find a man who meets their desire for a similarly-educated man. On the other hand, college educated men find themselves in high demand. The author attributed the rise of hookup culture to this demographic differences, and even suggested that the popularity of “hookup apps” like Tinder could be attributable to educated men’s taking advantage of their low numbers relative to educated women.

To check into this idea, I looked up the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey information for the counties in Southeast Michigan where I live. Here are the sex ratios (male / female), by age, for people with at least a college-level education.

The table is formatted as follows…
First column: Age
Second column: Macomb County
Third column: Monroe County
Fourth column: Oakland County
Fifth column: Washtenaw County
Sixth column: Wayne County
Seventh Column: Total

18 to 24 years: 0.68 0.64 0.84 0.74 0.69 0.75
25 to 34 years: 0.75 0.63 0.85 0.85 0.78 0.81
35 to 44 years: 0.85 0.77 0.92 0.91 0.79 0.87
45 to 64 years: 1.10 1.01 1.04 0.95 0.91 1.00
65 years +: 1.37 1.02 1.30 1.07 1.09 1.21

So, looking at this table, among 25-34 year olds in Wayne County, for every 100 females with a college degree, there are 78 men. In Oakland County among 35-44 year olds, for every 100 females with a college degree, there are 92 men.

This idea, that the demographic imbalance in educated men and women is leading to a hookup culture kinda seems to correspond with complaints I’ve heard from single women. Does it make sense to anyone else?

 

[jeannetherese]

The argument seems to neglect the fact that those with less education are also “hooking up”.
Consider middle school and high school sexual activity and also such activity among those who do not go on to college.
Have you any statistics to show that this practice is more prevalent among women with more education and men with less education? That High school and post high school “hook ups” are a function of differences in academic levels?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I have also noticed that since the invention of Itunes the hookup culture has flourished…

 

[Lookingforjoy]

I think this is a case of “correlation does not equal causation.”

I know this is anecdotal information, but where I work, the four co-workers in my office and I all have masters degrees. We’re also all happily married. Among our husbands, three have bachelors degrees, one has an associates degree, and one never finished any type of school. Come to think of it, of all of my friends, only three have husbands with an equal educational level. The rest of my friends went further in school than their husbands.

I think other factors contribute more to the development of hookup culture.

 

[Convert1]

Could this also be the result of our overall decline in the practice of abstinence, moral virtue, etc. by both men and women since the sexual revolution? And, could it be the rise in secular America and the decline in religious alignment? I am just considering that perhaps the secondary education of women may not be the sole characteristic linked to the “hook up” culture. There is a combination of multiple social factors that yield this effect. Just my opinion.

 

[CatholicHockey7]

This is definitely A cause, but only one of many. There have been many changes in society that contribute to the rise of “hook-up” culture. A rise in contraceptive availability and use, an increase in the availability of abortions, a decline in religious affiliation, the rise of “relative” moral truth, a change in the relationship dynamic enforced by society. All of these (and more) can be considered reasons for the rise of hook-up culture.

 

[Convert1]

This is definitely A cause, but only one of many. There have been many changes in society that contribute to the rise of “hook-up” culture. A rise in contraceptive availability and use, an increase in the availability of abortions, a decline in religious affiliation, the rise of “relative” moral truth, a change in the relationship dynamic enforced by society. All of these (and more) can be considered reasons for the rise of hook-up culture.

 

[TeachCatechism]

This is definitely A cause, but only one of many. There have been many changes in society that contribute to the rise of “hook-up” culture. A rise in contraceptive availability and use, an increase in the availability of abortions, a decline in religious affiliation, the rise of “relative” moral truth, a change in the relationship dynamic enforced by society. All of these (and more) can be considered reasons for the rise of hook-up culture.

Most of these I agree with. I think when women starting putting sex first is when it all started. I couldn’t begin to mention all the women who had babies before marriage and then couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t marry her. I’m glad women have opportunities now but in some cases we paid the price. The reality is there are more women with college degrees so many have to marry down. I have a Masters degree but don’t care if he attended college.

 

[fnr]

Here are the ratios for all the counties in the five counties around Detroit, MI.

The general trend is that for age groups under 45 years old, the (male/female) sex ratios for people with associates degrees or less (i.e., lower educational attainment than a four-year college degree) are higher than the sex ratios for people with four-year college degrees or higher. The trend tends to flip for age groups 45 years and older, with the sex ratios for people with associates degrees being lower than the sex ratios for people without a four-year college degree.

I tend to read this as saying that society has shifted. Someone who is 45 years old this year was born in 1970. That suggests to me that among people born before 1970, men tended to achieve higher levels of educational attainment, while after 1970, women tended to surpass men in attaining higher levels of education.

County \ Age \ Associates or less \ Four year college+
Macomb \ 18 to 24 years \ 1.08 \ 0.68
Macomb \ 25 to 34 years \ 1.08 \ 0.75
Macomb \ 35 to 44 years \ 1.02 \ 0.85
Macomb \ 45 to 64 years \ 0.91 \ 1.10
Macomb \ 65 years and over \ 0.64 \ 1.37
Monroe \ 18 to 24 years \ 0.14 \ 0.64
Monroe \ 25 to 34 years \ 1.09 \ 0.63
Monroe \ 35 to 44 years \ 0.97 \ 0.77
Monroe \ 45 to 64 years \ 0.87 \ 1.01
Monroe \ 65 years and over \ 0.60 \ 1.02
Oakland \ 18 to 24 years \ 0.67 \ 0.84
Oakland \ 25 to 34 years \ 1.13 \ 0.85
Oakland \ 35 to 44 years \ 0.98 \ 0.92
Oakland \ 45 to 64 years \ 0.87 \ 1.04
Oakland \ 65 years and over \ 0.58 \ 1.30
Washtenaw \ 18 to 24 years \ 0.25 \ 0.74
Washtenaw \ 25 to 34 years \ 1.01 \ 0.85
Washtenaw \ 35 to 44 years \ 1.00 \ 0.91
Washtenaw \ 45 to 64 years \ 0.92 \ 0.95
Washtenaw \ 65 years and over \ 0.63 \ 1.07
Wayne \ 18 to 24 years \ 1.02 \ 0.69
Wayne \ 25 to 34 years \ 0.98 \ 0.78
Wayne \ 35 to 44 years \ 0.99 \ 0.79
Wayne \ 45 to 64 years \ 0.92 \ 0.91
Wayne \ 65 years and over \ 0.64 \ 1.09

I have heard a lot of talk about men falling behind. An editor of Slate wrote the book, The End of Men in 2012. The statistics below seem to confirm that pattern.

In the Detroit area, there was historically a heavy reliance on manufacturing for post-high school employment. Also, before the 1970s, women generally didn’t participate in the labor force in anywhere near the amounts than men did, and women didn’t attend college at the rate that men did. Since then, through a combination of productivity gains, competition from overseas manufacturers, high “legacy” healthcare and pension costs, and free trade policies like NAFTA, manufacturing plants that remain in Detroit need far fewer people to operate, and many plants have relocated out of Michigan. Over that same time frame, women entered the labor market and education at levels never previously seen. The economy has changed toward the service sector, and high education has become the means to earning high income.

Just think about what this means for dating. If a woman wants to date a man with a college degree, there simply aren’t enough such men for all the women with college degrees. Now, the preference among those with college degrees to date or marry someone with comparable education seems to be a pretty strong one in our society (I know I have only dated women without college degrees with a great deal of hesitation).

From a strictly demographic perspective, men like me (i.e., unmarried with a graduate degree) seem to have quite a bit of freedom to select among our potential mates. I must confess to breaking up with some of my recent girlfriends because I thought I could find a mate that better met my “criteria,” which include, in addition to being Catholic, being sufficiently pretty, not too overweight, educated, and nearby. I’ve kinda felt bad about some of those breakups, but I always have justified them to myself for one reason or another. At the time, I certainly didn’t think about being a “limited commodity,” but retrospectively, my being so picky about the women I date seems to fit into the demographic context.

Now, being Catholic, I have not wanted to be “that guy.” Advice?

 

[Xantippe]

Some thoughts:

1. I think Detroit area is a pretty extreme case to choose. Why not choose a more average city like Atlanta or Houston or Pittsburgh or Dallas or Washington DC or Portland or St. Louis or basically any other US city?
2. I also think that it’s not true that college educated women won’t look at non-college men. Would a nurse really look down her nose at a plumber or an electrician? Would a kindergarten teacher not date a contractor?
3. I think one thing that the college versus non-college analysis misses is that while there are still plenty of traditional solid earning “male” jobs, pretty much all of the solid earning “female” jobs require college. For a non-college educated woman to earn a solid income, she would have to cross over into traditionally “male” professions and then experience some unpleasant penalties, not limited to: crude sexual harassment, intermittent employment, inflexible hours, no benefits, etc.
4. Nursing and teaching, while they are stereotypically female jobs and require college, have several large advantages: a) a solid salary b) the potential for family-friendly hours (summers off or work three days a week) c) benefits d)security e) the ability to take time off for kids and jump back in. So, there’s a reason that those college-requiring jobs have been so attractive to women.
5. This part of the OP was iffy:

“I must confess to breaking up with some of my recent girlfriends because I thought I could find a mate that better met my “criteria,” which include, in addition to being Catholic, being sufficiently pretty, not too overweight, educated, and nearby.”

I don’t think it’s kosher to date women long enough to call them “girlfriends” and then dump them for that stuff. Do you really mean “girlfriend” or “woman I’m seeing”? If you mean you’re seeing women for three months and then belatedly discovering they’re not Catholic or they’re fat or they don’t live in your area, that’s kind of weird. If you’re calling women your girlfriend after two dates, that’s weird, too.

 

[Xantippe]

From a strictly demographic perspective, men like me (i.e., unmarried with a graduate degree) seem to have quite a bit of freedom to select among our potential mates. I must confess to breaking up with some of my recent girlfriends because I thought I could find a mate that better met my “criteria,” which include, in addition to being Catholic, being sufficiently pretty, not too overweight, educated, and nearby. I’ve kinda felt bad about some of those breakups, but I always have justified them to myself for one reason or another. At the time, I certainly didn’t think about being a “limited commodity,” but retrospectively, my being so picky about the women I date seems to fit into the demographic context.

Now, being Catholic, I have not wanted to be “that guy.” Advice?

Historically speaking, the better off have always had better marriage prospects, and this has been true for both sexes. The rich widow might find herself surrounded by suitors eager to soothe her wounded heart (see Mrs. Greenow in Trollope’s Can You Forgive Her?).

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can_You_Forgive_Her%3F

Meanwhile, the eligible bachelor might also find himself surrounded by young women eager to make a home for him. As the first line of Pride and Prejudice goes, "“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

Material considerations have historically always entered into marriage choices.

 

[Sarcelle]

Historically speaking, the better off have always had better marriage prospects, and this has been true for both sexes. The rich widow might find herself surrounded by suitors eager to soothe her wounded heart (see Mrs. Greenow in Trollope’s Can You Forgive Her?).

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can_You_Forgive_Her%3F

Meanwhile, the eligible bachelor might also find himself surrounded by young women eager to make a home for him. As the first line of Pride and Prejudice goes, "“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

Material considerations have historically always entered into marriage choices.

True, a generous helping, of money probably helps one’s chances.

 

[pianistclare]

Some thoughts:

1. I think Detroit area is a pretty extreme case to choose. Why not choose a more average city like Atlanta or Houston or Pittsburgh or Dallas or Washington DC or Portland or St. Louis or basically any other US city?
2. I also think that it’s not true that college educated women won’t look at non-college men. Would a nurse really look down her nose at a plumber or an electrician? Would a kindergarten teacher not date a contractor?
3. I think one thing that the college versus non-college analysis misses is that while there are still plenty of traditional solid earning “male” jobs, pretty much all of the solid earning “female” jobs require college. For a non-college educated woman to earn a solid income, she would have to cross over into traditionally “male” professions and then experience some unpleasant penalties, not limited to: crude sexual harassment, intermittent employment, inflexible hours, no benefits, etc.
4. Nursing and teaching, while they are stereotypically female jobs and require college, have several large advantages: a) a solid salary b) the potential for family-friendly hours (summers off or work three days a week) c) benefits d)security e) the ability to take time off for kids and jump back in. So, there’s a reason that those college-requiring jobs have been so attractive to women.
5. This part of the OP was iffy:

“I must confess to breaking up with some of my recent girlfriends because I thought I could find a mate that better met my “criteria,” which include, in addition to being Catholic, being sufficiently pretty, not too overweight, educated, and nearby.”

I don’t think it’s kosher to date women long enough to call them “girlfriends” and then dump them for that stuff. Do you really mean “girlfriend” or “woman I’m seeing”? If you mean you’re seeing women for three months and then belatedly discovering they’re not Catholic or they’re fat or they don’t live in your area, that’s kind of weird. If you’re calling women your girlfriend after two dates, that’s weird, too.

Yup. Especially the bolded.

 

[punisherthunder]

I had a sociology of the family class in college (it was required and the instructor was a hardcore feminist).

At one point the subject was appropriate marriage age. A large portion of females in the class said that only when they achieved a MA or MBA or even a PHD, would they consider dating. I have seen this happen with two female cousins of mine. Both have PHD but they didn’t get married til late and are having kids at 40!

Sure there is some stability, but the question I pose is: Is there too much concentration on career over family?

 

[pianistclare]

About the same as the men who put a big emphasis on looks I guess.

I had a sociology of the family class in college (it was required and the instructor was a hardcore feminist).

At one point the subject was appropriate marriage age. A large portion of females in the class said that only when they achieved a MA or MBA or even a PHD, would they consider dating. I have seen this happen with two female cousins of mine. Both have PHD but they didn’t get married til late and are having kids at 40!

Sure there is some stability, but the question I pose is: Is there too much concentration on career over family?

 

[Xantippe]

True, a generous helping, of money probably helps one’s chances.

Here’s another example: Fiddler on the Roof.

Both Tevye’s daughters and a couple of their suitors are impeded by their poverty. The fact that Tevye’s daughters have no dowries and their father is not a learned man makes them less marriageable. Meanwhile, from the point of view of worldly wisdom, Motel the poor young tailor is a less attractive match than Lazar Wolf the rich old widowed butcher.

 

[Xantippe]

I had a sociology of the family class in college (it was required and the instructor was a hardcore feminist).

At one point the subject was appropriate marriage age. A large portion of females in the class said that only when they achieved a MA or MBA or even a PHD, would they consider dating. I have seen this happen with two female cousins of mine. Both have PHD but they didn’t get married til late and are having kids at 40!

Sure there is some stability, but the question I pose is: Is there too much concentration on career over family?

Well, I have to say that when a woman says that she doesn’t want to settle down yet, that can just mean that she hasn’t met the right person yet.

When you feel like you have met the right person and you’re crazy about them, you’ll throw all your plans out the window for them. If you don’t feel like throwing all your plans out the window for the person you’re dating, it may just mean that they aren’t the right person.

 

[MatthewTrainor]

I think when women starting putting sex first is when it all started. I couldn’t begin to mention all the women who had babies before marriage and then couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t marry her.

Giving away free milk makes it harder to sell the cow. (Granted a very unflattering analogy, but highly applicable). I would go further and point out how “shacking up” is so unfavorable to women. When it comes to finding a sexual partner, most men are looking for young physically fit women and most women are looking for stable and mature men. Shacking up for a few years and the women lose most of what attracts mates while men only gain. Is it really surprising that many men choose to cancel the lease and trade in for a newer model? (another unflattering analogy but what else is there when sex has become completely objectified?) Holding out is a risky prospect (particularly when there is so much free milk out there) but inevitably will return women to the power position if they are seeking to find a mate for life.

 

[Denise1957]

Could this also be the result of our overall decline in the practice of abstinence, moral virtue, etc. by both men and women since the sexual revolution? And, could it be the rise in secular America and the decline in religious alignment? I am just considering that perhaps the secondary education of women may not be the sole characteristic linked to the “hook up” culture. There is a combination of multiple social factors that yield this effect. Just my opinion.

You bring up good points here. It seems likely that the lack of moral virtue has to do with more than just women outperforming men in college. My son has attested to the existence of the “hook-up” culture at colleges. He graduated from a university last June with a degree in accounting, and he said the culture of “one-night stands” among students at the university he attended is common practice, and that it was difficult for him find a woman to date who did not subscribe to this sort of thing. I had no idea that the problem was that bad until he talked about it.

 

[Xantippe]

Giving away free milk makes it harder to sell the cow. (Granted a very unflattering analogy, but highly applicable). I would go further and point out how “shacking up” is so unfavorable to women. When it comes to finding a sexual partner, most men are looking for young physically fit women and most women are looking for stable and mature men. Shacking up for a few years and the women lose most of what attracts mates while men only gain. Is it really surprising that many men choose to cancel the lease and trade in for a newer model? (another unflattering analogy but what else is there when sex has become completely objectified?) Holding out is a risky prospect (particularly when there is so much free milk out there) but inevitably will return women to the power position if they are seeking to find a mate for life.

Nope. How would that work exactly?

Ask around CAF–there are plenty of women that are “holding out” but haven’t been able to find anybody.

Meanwhile, lots of women that haven’t “held out” are happily married and have growing families.

Life is not some sort of vending machine where (if you’re a woman) you put in chastity and you get out a great marriage and a lovely family.