Dating someone with Bipolar?

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Can they marry in the church and have a viable relationship? I’m dating someone who just told me they have this. I respect them for being honest about it but from what I’ve read I’m not it’s a good idea to date someone with this issue. Does anyone have some experience with this? I really don’t know anything about it. I’m still kind of floored by all this and not sure how to react.
 
“Can they marry in the church and have a viable relationship? I’m dating someone who just told me they have this. I respect them for being honest about it but from what I’ve read I’m not it’s a good idea to date someone with this issue. Does anyone have some experience with this? I really don’t know anything about it. I’m still kind of floored by all this and not sure how to react.”

An old friend is bipolar. He’s 50-something and has been married and divorced twice, can’t keep a job, kept getting into altercations with strangers, had to leave a group home, and is now unable to support himself. He’s also burned through just about every friendship he had, due to his erratic behavior. There was a slow downward spiral, where he started out pretty normal, but things just kept getting slowly worse and worse. It’s been very hard to control even with medication.

It’s a really hard row to hoe, as bipolar people can have terrible problems with finances and decision-making, which is pretty important in a spouse. I think you’d want a looong period of research, dating and discernment and you’d have to be prepared for things to get worse. I would not recommend it if one were hoping to have children. It might be OK as a risk for a woman past childbearing age, but one would have to be prepared for the possibility that it might eventually not be safe to stay together.

I don’t know about the question of validity in marriage, but it is a real problem.
 
Bipolar is a large spectrum, so I’d say it depends on the individual and how they are managing their condition. Talk to them about it. In terms of marriage, if the individual is female, most drugs for bipolar are harmful to babies so they’d have to be discontinued for a pregnancy, which may not be psychologically possible for some people.
 
It needs to be controlled. That is the bottom line. The afflicted needs to seek out professional help and faithfully follow advice and take prescriptions and want to be healed. Bipolar disorder is not compatible with a normal lifestyle. In acute or chronic cases you can find yourself homeless, jobless, friendless, and hopeless. If this person has been living with bipolar for a long time then it can take a lot of work to dig out of the hole he is in.

You should investigate thoroughly to see if he has this under control or not. If he is not controlled then I would say stay away for the sake of your own sanity. If he has mastered the condition then there is no issue. Everyone has problems, diagnosed or not. You should not allow bipolar to be a badge of shame, but it is a caution-flag.

People with bipolar disorder have a lot of trouble taking advice and taking pills. It is difficult to maintain a stable lifestyle when fighting this. It is like alcoholism in this regard: you have to want help, and you have to help yourself. But there is great hope and a light at the end of the tunnel, so be encouraging and helpful and maybe you can be an inspiration to help him through hard times.
 
My wife is bipolar, among other things. My take, based on my own experience, would be this: If you are not absolutely sure that you are called to be in a relationship where you have to walk on eggshells a lot of the time, then you should end this relationship and seek one with a more “neurotypical” partner.
 
My wife is bipolar, among other things. My take, based on my own experience, would be this: If you are not absolutely sure that you are called to be in a relationship where you have to walk on eggshells a lot of the time, then you should end this relationship and seek one with a more “neurotypical” partner.
I know it’s rare that bipolar can be well-controlled, but in my experience, those who have controlled it are not essentially distinguishable from the normal populace. So while some may feel that they have to walk on eggshells, this is not true for all cases of bipolar, especially that which responds well to medication and other therapy.
 
Is the person you’re dating bipolar I or II? bipolar II is less intense, and person suffers depressive episodes more often than manic.

Alot of creative people have/had bipolar II. Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Graham Green, Keats. Difficult personalities, but also people with very special creative talents. LIke someone else said, bipolar is a spectrum.

I would suggest talking to her/him about how bipolar affects her life. She entrusted you with something sensitive. Do you like this person? I don’t think this should be a reason to end a relationship anymore than a physical disability would. I would keep an open mind.
 
For the record, my wife’s BP disorder is pretty well controlled by medications, although it is complicated by Asperger’s and the possible onset of Alzheimer’s.
 
Bipolar is a large spectrum, so I’d say it depends on the individual and how they are managing their condition. Talk to them about it. In terms of marriage, if the individual is female, most drugs for bipolar are harmful to babies so they’d have to be discontinued for a pregnancy, which may not be psychologically possible for some people.
This is a guy. He said he was on medication. As to children I’d be surprised as I’m 43 but who knows stranger things have happened. He said he had an episode and was hospitalized a few years ago this is what concerns me. I respect him though for being straight up about it. I just don’t know what to do with this information. I felt something was off but couldn’t pin it down to anything but from what I’ve read it sort of fits a little. He seemed really laid back for the most part but there were a few things like his still living at home at his age and having had a lot of jobs. He’s been at his last one for awhile but had to take a demotion. And he mentioned a few times how people had an issue with him. Like a choir director and a board member when he was teaching. I will pray over all this thanks for the response.
 
If their condition is controlled with medications you wouldn’t even know they have a problem. They have to mindful of their diagnosis, take care of their self, get enough sleep, take their meds, eat right, maybe exercise–hey, it’s good health habits we all need to be practicing. I wouldn’t ditch someone just because they’re bipolar, at least they were honest with you. From my own experience I’ve found that the people who are aware that they have a problem and are being treated for it are much better off than the ones that have a problem but think it’s everyone else’s fault. Those are the ones you need to watch out for. Give it a chance and get to know him as a person, not as a label and then if he’s unstable you can end it. Maybe he’ll turn out just fine and be the love of your life. Most of the bipolar people I’ve known have been very intelligent, creative, and fun.
 
For the record, my wife’s BP disorder is pretty well controlled by medications, although it is complicated by Asperger’s and the possible onset of Alzheimer’s.
Sorry to hear that prayers for you wife and family. My family has gone through Alzheimer’s as well.
 
This is a guy. He said he was on medication. As to children I’d be surprised as I’m 43 but who knows stranger things have happened. He said he had an episode and was hospitalized a few years ago this is what concerns me. I respect him though for being straight up about it. I just don’t know what to do with this information. I felt something was off but couldn’t pin it down to anything but from what I’ve read it sort of fits a little. He seemed really laid back for the most part but there were a few things like his still living at home at his age and having had a lot of jobs. He’s been at his last one for awhile but had to take a demotion. And he mentioned a few times how people had an issue with him. Like a choir director and a board member when he was teaching. I will pray over all this thanks for the response.
Prayers for your discernment. Seems like quite a few red flags of being able to function alone though: living at home, lots of jobs, demotion, and interpersonal issues.
Mary.
 
If their condition is controlled with medications you wouldn’t even know they have a problem. They have to mindful of their diagnosis, take care of their self, get enough sleep, take their meds, eat right, maybe exercise–hey, it’s good health habits we all need to be practicing. I wouldn’t ditch someone just because they’re bipolar, at least they were honest with you. From my own experience I’ve found that the people who are aware that they have a problem and are being treated for it are much better off than the ones that have a problem but think it’s everyone else’s fault. Those are the ones you need to watch out for. Give it a chance and get to know him as a person, not as a label and then if he’s unstable you can end it. Maybe he’ll turn out just fine and be the love of your life. Most of the bipolar people I’ve known have been very intelligent, creative, and fun.
I’m still not sure how to react. It’s not something I’'ve dealt with. I do have ADHD and Anxiety issues tied to that but deal with it through diet and exercise. Bipolar seems to be on a whole other level. In any case for the moment I’ll read what can and educate myself on the this issue before making any decision. Thanks for the response. He seems to be controlling his disorder but I do need to discuss it with him. At the time I was just floored and when I don’t know how to react I’ve found it better to think over things before reacting.
 
Depends on the particular person and their level of severity. When a bipolar person falls in life, they can much more easily end up in an endless cycle of depression and anxiety that they never dig themselves out of it. The reason being that they might start to build themselves up, but then they hit an episode, and it just shatters to the ground, and each time it shatters their confidence is ripped further down. If they stay social and engaged then they stay alive. Fortunately, modern medicine, while not a silver bullet solution, can be a great help in mitigating this condition. I have an atheist cousin who is bipolar and the loneliness, despair, and warped reality of his life is like meeting a person that has entered Hell. You can tell within 5 seconds that something is wrong with him. He’s so heavily removed from socializing that on the rare occasions I’ve met him, he can’t form sentences properly and he’s constantly trying overly hard to use big words to make himself sound intelligent, which more often than not makes him stutter a lot and he ends up trying to use lots of analogies in his speech that don’t actually entirely make sense. He won’t take medicine, I believe because his pride has reached almost incurable levels of depravity. The man is loathsome and scary and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he either killed himself or somebody else. His humanity has been mangled to pieces.

On the positive end, other people keep it under the control, and the condition has been known to inspire creativity and some bipolar people are very interesting to be around. In fact, before my cousin fell into madness, he was an interesting guy. Weird, but in a good way.

Personally, I’m not sure if I could bring myself to date even a mildly bipolar person, but that’s because my personal experiences have freaked me out.
 
Prayers for your discernment. Seems like quite a few red flags of being able to function alone though: living at home, lots of jobs, demotion, and interpersonal issues.
Mary.
Yes those do have me worried.
 
Depends on the particular person and their level of severity. When a bipolar person falls in life, they can much more easily end up in an endless cycle of depression and anxiety that they never dig themselves out of it. The reason being that they might start to build themselves up, but then they hit an episode, and it just shatters to the ground, and each time it shatters their confidence is ripped further down. If they stay social and engaged then they stay alive. Fortunately, modern medicine, while not a silver bullet solution, can be a great help in mitigating this condition. I have an atheist cousin who is bipolar and the loneliness, despair, and warped reality of his life is like meeting a person that has entered Hell. You can tell within 5 seconds that something is wrong with him. He’s so heavily removed from socializing that on the rare occasions I’ve met him, he can’t form sentences properly and he’s constantly trying overly hard to use big words to make himself sound intelligent, which more often than not makes him stutter a lot and he ends up trying to use lots of analogies in his speech that don’t actually entirely make sense. He won’t take medicine, I believe because his pride has reached almost incurable levels of depravity. The man is loathsome and scary and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he either killed himself or somebody else.

On the positive end, other people keep it under the control, and the condition has been known to inspire creativity and some bipolar people are very interesting to be around. Personally, I’m not sure if I could bring myself to date even a mildly bipolar person, but that’s because my personal experiences have freaked me out.
Sad to hear about your relative’s issue. I also have a relative with Skizofrenia who’s issue sounds similar.
 
Bipolar can be well controlled with medication. Sometimes, patients will go off their medications, and they will have relapse with illness. Bipolar is more biological and is treatable.

Many people are misdiagnosed with bipolar, when they actually have Borderline Personality Disorder. And, behavior therapy is the main treatment for it. Unless, they get the proper treatment, it is a hard disorder to manage. And, many do not accept the diagnosis, and will refuse treatment. This is definitely a lifetime of walking on eggshells, if not treated.

Bipolar is very treatable. However, the person with Borderline Personality Disorder can not be controlled with medication.

From what you have posted it sounds like he may be dealing more with a personality disorder than bipolar. eg. Unable to keep job. Others having issues with him, as in not taking any responsibility. “It is the others, having the issue and not him.”

If it is truly bipolar, then he should be fine with taking his medications. And, it is not unusual to need adjustments to the medications. Some may not work, after a period of time, or they need a dosage adjustment.
 
Can they marry in the church and have a viable relationship? I’m dating someone who just told me they have this. I respect them for being honest about it but from what I’ve read I’m not it’s a good idea to date someone with this issue. Does anyone have some experience with this? I really don’t know anything about it. I’m still kind of floored by all this and not sure how to react.
Run…
 
Can they marry in the church and have a viable relationship? I’m dating someone who just told me they have this. I respect them for being honest about it but from what I’ve read I’m not it’s a good idea to date someone with this issue. Does anyone have some experience with this? I really don’t know anything about it. I’m still kind of floored by all this and not sure how to react.
Someone I know is manic depressive is married in the Church and is the mother of two children.
 
I was married for six years of my life to a man with bipolar disease and I have very wise advice for you: DO NOT DATE THIS MAN! Run for the hills! No no no don’t marry him little less of you have no idea what you are getting to! Being married to a bipolar person is draining emotionally, challenging and hard to deal. I am sorry for saying this but do not listen to anyone who says that is treatable (obviously they haven’t lived with one) and can be well controlled. Bi polar disease OS an incurable illnesses and all that medications do is lessem the mood swings. They DO have swings despite medication, the medication just makes it less bad but the disease is still there.

I have to totally disagree with what Deana is saying. I spent eight years of my life (marriage and after divorce) dealing with a bipolar husband, talking to hundreds of psychiatrist and specialists and therapost, researching the disease to find the way to best help my previous husband. One of the first symptoms of the disease is not acceptance of the condition. They may know they have it bit they don’t accept it as the disease causes them to believe they have a special superiority over others and others don’t know what they are doing. That is why is so difficult to either get them to take medication or get them to take the right medication. They think doctors don’t know what they are doing. They are very creative and smart that is true but their personal lifestyle are a disasters. That is why you are going to see there are many famous bipolar people when it comes to personal relations and emotionally speaking their lives are a disaster. They are very difficult to deal.with, they don’t want to take medication, they don’t want to listen, they are masters in hiding their personality, they can be very controlling and have very unstable life. Don’t fool yourself. I spent two years dating my first husband, and I would have never guessed what was waiting for me. He was the most charming, well spoken, smart, creative man I met in the world, after I got married the next years would be bell for me. I am sorry but I think bipolar is a great reason to end a relationship. Unless you are willing to become.a psychiatrist/psychotherapist for him for the rest of your life, and you agree to leave an unstable life for the rest of your life and you are willing to sacrifice your emotional health, run away.
 
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