Daughter and The fancy dress shop

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Vintage dresses tend to run small, and larger dresses can be tailored down.
 
I’d go with Department Store until Junior and Senior HS prom comes around. Then be prepared to spend significant $$, but as kiddos at that age can work, I highly recommend having the child contribute to the final cost. I had to purchase 3 prom dresses in HS. 2 her junior year because she was dating someone from another school. We went in halvsies. And thinking she would use them in college for sorority formals has so far been a bust! But she’s on her own now, and either trades with friends, or buys herself.
 
Thank you. They are very cute. I like the bottom dress. I will show her and see what she thinks.
 
If you can afford Famcy Dress Shop then do it.
Or you can hit the thrift shops.
 
Wait, I have a closet full of dresses that I’m storing for my daughter…what size is she? 😛
 
F_Marturana said:
It’s her 8th grade dance.
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Then it does sound like overkill–especially since she could easily grow more and not be able to wear the same dress in a couple years.

Maybe tell her she can go with her friends and help them make their choices, but follow the budget advice 1ke gave?
 
First of all, going to a bridal store for 8th grade dance is ridiculous. My response to this would probably be, “Your friends’ parents are on crack.” I’m not recommending that, but it’s most likely what I’d say. Probably a better response would be to ask why she’s interested in this. Does she literally want to go with her friends to some sort of dress searching event? If that’s the case, I would point out that no matter what her friends are saying, most parents can’t afford wedding dresses for a school dance and maybe the event should be moved to the mall with Macy’s on one end and Dillards on the other. They could enjoy a pretzel in between. If the other kids can’t be convinced, encourage her to try on dresses with the other girls and take photos of the styles she like and you can use them to find similar styles at reasonable prices. If this isn’t an actual dress-choosing event, and she just under the impression that it’s important to spend a lot of money in order to be take seriously, then make it a day for you and her and take her to the stores of your choice and teach her otherwise.
 
It’s literally a three hour or so dance in the gym. No dinner, just snacks and punch.

So department store will be it.
 
Don’t know if this will work with yours, but my family sort of made a challenge of finding something nice in the budget range available. My favorite dress was one we got off the “slightly damaged” rack - it had a brooch on the hip that had a few rhinestones missing, which was quickly swapped out for a flower.
 
Allegra said:
First of all, going to a bridal store for 8th grade dance is ridiculous.
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Well to be fair, the OP said specialty store not bridal store. And, also to be fair, the bridal stores such as David’s have lines of cocktail and party dresses, prom dresses, quinceanera dresses, first communion dresses, homecoming dresses, etc…, as well as bride/bridesmaid/mother dresses.

And the prices at David’s can be reasonable, certainly within the same range as Macy’s and Dillard’s.

My personal approach would be to give her a budget and let her shop wherever she wants.
 
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Before getting too creative, remember, this is eighth grade! As I recall, this is the worst age for bullying, ostracizing, and a faux pas at a school dance will not be soon forgotten!
Unless she is so popular that she sets the trends for her classmates, or is already labeled for her nonconformity, let her choose. Make sure that she knows what her friends will be wearing. And, don’t mortgage your house, but don’t buy anything that, for all its advantages, would align itself with bargain stores or thrift shops.
The fact that she wants to go says a lot. She will know best what to wear. If you must say no to her choice, do it charitably, and try not to go too low, in the price and reputation of the store you choose. It’s probably her first dance. So, try and make sure she’s able to have fun!
And, I hope she has a wonderful time!
 
The only problem with that is that it creates an unsustainable expectation that I’m willing to buy my kid’s way into the company of some really shallow and not very nice young ladies. I don’t really want my kid sitting at the lunch table with the kids who look down on Macys, for obvious financial reasons and for the fact that I look down on the kids who look down on Macys. It’s my goal as a mother to raise a child who would not fit in with such petty, obnoxious brats.
 
I’m not talking about what kind of friends do this. Obviously, someone who would stop being one’s friend over how much he spends on clothes is no friend at all. It’s just that, at 13 or 14, kids are going thru puberty and, with the resulting physical and emotional changes, they get put (and,often put their friends under) an unrealistic need to belong! I’m not pushing expensive dressing as a lifestyle. I’m just saying, that with the pressures that are already there, give the kid a break! Sure, this won’t be the first time such pressures are felt…I just don’t think that parents should expect to have all their kids problems to be solved overnight.
For this first school dance, let this girl fit in. Don’t make her into a walking, talking, billboard to ‘economic ways to cut corners on the clothing budget’.
Hopefully, she’ll have fun.
 
1ke said:
And the prices at David’s can be reasonable, certainly within the same range as Macy’s and Dillard’s.
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This is true. Usually their bridesmaid dresses are pretty affordable and nice quality. I’ve never gotten a dress their myself, but I did peruse it when my daughter was going to mske her first communion.
 
Macy’s is fine.

Lots of my clothes are from Target . So are my daughter’s.

It’s odd.
She’s been since the end of sixth grade “emo light”. So band shirt, jeans or leggings, a hoodie in the winter with converse sneakers. Band shirt, jeans or shorts and flip flops in the summer.

There’s a subculture of other emo kids her age that apparently know to comment on the band shirt as they pass each other. “Like your shirt”.

I haven’t permitted her to permanently dye her hair. But she’s put in temporary highlights in blue and purple that wash out

Now that she’s graduating she wants the dress experience. She also put perfume on yesterday. She had a sample of an Elizabeth Arden perfume.

Oh, she now likes Harry Styles.
 
Go for the department store for a gr 8 dress! Or else when her high school prom comes around, going to a nicer store will seem like no big deal. Baby steps! I have no idea why parents would buy a fancy dress for a gr 8 dance. Your daughter probably wants to fit in with the other girls, but I’m sure not ALL those girls in her class will be getting dresses from a fancy dress shop- kids love to tell stories lol. And no one has to know exactly where she got it! I’m from Canada and here we go over the border to the US to shop for prom dresses at Macy’s- that is our version of a fancy dress shop sometimes! Haha

And also, as someone who graduated high school 5 years ago, there’s something nostalgic at looking back at the dresses I wore for my gr 8 grad, high school dances and laughing at them or remembering the memory of searching the department store for them with my mom and being an awkward young teen, as weird as that sounds.
 
100%

“Make sure she knows what her friends are wearing…”

Nope. No teenage girl has ever needed or benefitted from her parents stressing the importance of fitting in with her peers, especially when it comes to looks. Teach her to take care of herself, teach her to take pride in herself, teach her to do things that make her happy and make her feel good. Don’t stress the importance of fitting in; she gets that message enough and really needs her mom and family to be above it.
 
…but at the same time, don’t make her look weird for no reason.
 
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