Daughter Traveling Europe w/Boyfriend

[Aboveallbereal]

I haven’t yet had to face the problem of teenage children but it is a dreadful worry knowing that the likelihood is they’re sexually active (most of our 18 yr old children are sexually active whether they admit it or not).

I would be inclined to be honest with her. Tell her you are aware that most of her friends are having sex ( they are), that the temptation exists and that the price of a youth pregnancy is too high a price to pay. After that quite frankly there is nothing you can do to stop what happens one way or the other.

 

[Lethe]

I think the best way to do this would be to be very calm and nice about it. Say, in a non-judgemental tone of voice (!) that you would appreciate it if she would promise not to consummate her relationship with the bf on the trip. You know, just say it like it matters to you, and I’m sure she will consider your views a lot more readily than if you go at her hammer and tongs…

 

[dashso40]

Is it a sin for my 18 year-old daughter to travel in Europe for 3 to 6 months with her boyfriend? She told me that she hasn’t had sex with him yet (they’ve only been an item for about 4 months) and doesn’t plan on having sex with him on the trip. She said that they will sleep in separate quarters during the trip.

I’m not saying this about all 18 year olds…there are many responsible 18 year olds in this world…That being said, when I was 18, I totally lied to my mother about my relationships and my sexual status…I’m not saying it was right but young people do tend to lie to their parents…
Please, I don’t want every young person to take offense, I’m just telling my story and about 90% of the girls i knew as a young woman were sexually active…Which I think is wrong now, back then, I was a lost soul…this is back in the late 1980’s…I don’t have teenagers yet but the world seems way too sex crazed lately…
All in all, if this 18 year old lives with her parents, they should not let her go to Europe…

 

[myway22883]

Show the girl some trust.

and

If they were going to have sex, it could happen anywhere

I understand the ‘rationale’ for these statement, but they are completely wrong. Our Catholic faith teaches us to DELIBERATELY AVOID occassions for sin. Such is said in the Our Father, “lead me not into temptation”, and the Act of Contrition “Lord, by your Grace. . . I will sin no more…”.

The correct course of action is not to say “eh, if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen…”. It is to say, “I, myself, will avoid sin and will help others (especially our children!) to avoid sin”. There is enough in the world to lead us astray without us knocking on the door of temptation and asking to be let inside.

 

[Guyonthestreet]

Is it a sin for my 18 year-old daughter to travel in Europe for 3 to 6 months with her boyfriend? She told me that she hasn’t had sex with him yet (they’ve only been an item for about 4 months) and doesn’t plan on having sex with him on the trip. She said that they will sleep in separate quarters during the trip.

I cant imagine the act of travelling is a sin.

I have a couple of concerns about the information youve provided above,

There’s a huge difference between 3 and 6 months on the road - she needs to pin her travel plans down a bit better.

Is she an experienced traveller? Can she deal with things going wrong?

Has she got a plan B C D and Evac for when things go wrong or she feels she needs to bail out?

To the guy who said american girls are sold into sex slavery in Europe - step away from the TV now sir!!!

Does she speak any other languages?

As for 4 months not being long to know someone - true - they’ll either come back more hopelessly in love than before, or they’ll be back on seperate planes

As for the sex - you brought her up good - now you have to let her go - what will be will be.
She doesnt need to go to Europe for an occasion of sin, or near occasion of sin. That can happen in the laundry room

The travel plans seem too lose to me, and thats what my biggest concern would be - unless of course they just intend to wing it - great fun - but are they experienced enough travellers to do this?

Anyhows - I hope she has fun.

Europe is an awesome continent.

 

[vera_dicere]

I’m only 28, but from my mum keeps telling me, its not her job to make popular decisions, its not her job to be my friend, its her job to be my mum and she’s accountable to God for how she raises me, and if I want money from my mum, or need it, she often makes the rules about how it is spent. ie. she wouldn’t be impressed if she gave me money for rent and I went out and bought a video game.

If the OP is funding this little trip, she has every right to make whatever rules she determines.

If the daughter is funding the trip, well, it tells me she’s worked hard (or won the Lotto) to gather the finances, most 18 year olds I know/knew don’t have the work ethic to scrimp like that, especially when you consider teh other costs 18 year olds these days have, cell phones, iPods et al. So, it stands to reason such an 18 year old might be a little more responsible, at least fiscally.

If she sins well, there’s not much anyone can do about that, and she’ll just have to learn the hard way.

My concern, like many other’s have mentioned is the trip to Europe with a guy she’s only known a short time, which then makes me question her street smarts.

Yeah, she could engage in sexual activity at home, but there’s still that mindset that you don’t sh1t where you eat. But another country, mum on the other side of the world, 18 year old girl and her new boyfriend in one of the most romantic places on Earth? Out of sight, out of mind.

Alarm bells should be going off.

Perhaps a compromise, let her go, just let her go in a few years.

 

[aicirt]

The OP posted this over eight months ago. I’m assuming she either went, and if she did, guess many here would like to know how the trip turned out. And if she didn’t, what made her change her mind. Thanks.

 

[Shaken]

This only bothers me when my own family is involved. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, on both sides of the family set a good example and I am completely at a loss to understand why this generation is not conforming to the traditional Catholic standard.

I agree with near occasion of sin, with scandalous appearance, with hardly knows the young man.

I wonder if traveling together is an example of the conformism mentioned by the Pope?