Daycare and Raising Catholic Children

  • Thread starter Thread starter Agent94
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I had to double check my math. I forgot that they switched from hourly to a daily fee and can’t remember if it’s $30 or $35 a day (I think it’s $30).

Eitherway…in August with 23 working days at $30 a day that comes out to $690, $35 a day is $805. I’ve never seen my wife fill our a bi-weekly payment for over $400 so I’m guessing it’s the $30 a day rate now.
 
Horrible daycares are horrible for everyone, and they definitely exist. Better daycares are not financially available for many families. The biggest issue, as I see it, with infants in daycare is that their immune systems aren’t fully functioning and they are going to be exposed to a lot more stuff in a daycare center. Also, the ratio is typically 4 infants to one adult with two hands. Anyone who has dealt with an infant knows that they aren’t really famous for their willingness to wait their turn. In this situation, the loudest screamer gets the most attention. Is it going to kill a baby to have to wait perhaps a good while before getting their needs met on occasion? Probably not. But on a constant basis, every weekday? I think it could mess with their confidence and security and as they approach toddlerhood, instill some really disagreeable habits that will be hard to break. (ie screaming like they’re being tortured anytime they want anything.)
 
Around here, most daycare centers charge between $150 and $200 a week per child, depending on the age and the required ratio.
 
Lamenting society and the way things are isn’t going to make you feel any better about going back to work. Visiting actual daycares to see what a good one looks could.

You’ve filled this thread with your understandable worries we all felt when faced with this situation and we’ve tried to provide both comfort and information.

These broader societal complaints will get you nowhere. We all parent the best we can with the resources we have in the time and place God put us.
 
Last edited:
Maybe you should move closer to your family in the future? I am mostly a stay at home mom but I work 24 hours a week-1 week day, 1 weekend day in home health. Without my mom or mother in law, I would be stuck working full weekends or after my husband is done with work in the evening. He makes a good salary for the midwest, but we aren’t rich by any means. I hear you on daycare. Its very costly and making what I make now with 2 kids and 1 on the way, its just not worth it.
 
If it looks like this is what you have to do for your family, offer up your suffering as you drop off your child at daycare. Maybe right now your work is your cross. It is a powerful sorrow but it does get better. Ask Our Lady for the strength to get through. If anyone REALLY gets it, it’s her.
 
Allegra said:
Horrible daycares are horrible for everyone, and they definitely exist.
Click to expand...
Agreed, and I’m sure they do exist. OP just seems to want to make it out that all daycares are terrible. Like many of us said, interview, tour, volunteer and see what’s the best for you.
Allegra said:
Better daycares are not financially available for many families.
Click to expand...
Ya, maybe. I think our daycare is fantastic and very financially friendly.
Allegra said:
The biggest issue, as I see it, with infants in daycare is that their immune systems aren’t fully functioning and they are going to be exposed to a lot more stuff in a daycare center.
Click to expand...
Yes, they can be exposed to a lot more stuff. Swing by our house sometime we have one in DC, 2 kids in different schools and my wife works at another. There are many proponents out there that will say this makes the immune system stronger.
Allegra said:
Also, the ratio is typically 4 infants to one adult with two hands. Anyone who has dealt with an infant knows that they aren’t really famous for their willingness to wait their turn. In this situation, the loudest screamer gets the most attention.
Click to expand...
Meh, I don’t buy it. Not saying at a poor daycare that couldn’t happen, but with my experience with daycare(s) I just don’t see that happening and they’re actually great at breaking poor habits that ALL toddlers develop.

I don’t think we’re really going to agree with too much on the subject. We’ve had a great experience with our daycare provider from cost to food to discipline to the point there’s days where the little one doesn’t want to come home.

My issue in the thread has been the OP painting this wide brush across all daycares with the nightmare that all kids come home drugged up, half dead or a mix of both with some mental health issues mixed in. I’m just wondering where this information is coming from…and TBH, I think it’s a search for people to confirm for her that she should avoid day care at all costs and stay home.
 
There may be some proponants that say exposing generally healthy and fully-vaccinated toddlers and pre-schoolers to the germs of the general population may help build immunity. (Many doctors disagree however, particularly regarding rotovirus and influenza.) I haven’t heard too many people seriously suggest that is the best course of action for an infant as young as six weeks.
 
If we want to go that way…I haven’t heard many (if any) doctors say don’t send your infants to daycare either.
 
My daughter has five different doctors that she sees on a regular basis (including her pediatrician). ALL of them ask as part of preliminary questions if she is in daycare. Every single one. The reason they ask is that it is medically significant. No, they aren’t going to tell me not to send my child to daycare (except when they do tell me that because she is recovering from a procedure and can’t risk infection.) Doctors realize that most people don’t send their kids to daycare for the heck of it. There are many things that must be considered when making that choice. But yes, most of them would tell you that daycare for infants is a higher risk of infection and it is problem to the extent that it should be considered when deciding whether or not a child is ready for daycare. Does it mean daycare must be avoided at all costs? That probably depends on the immune system of the individual child. My daughter has had a surgery where her neurosurgeon told us absolutely no daycare for at least three weeks post surgery because of the risk of infection.
 
Allegra said:
ALL of them ask as part of preliminary questions if she is in daycare. Every single one. The reason they ask is that it is medically significant.
Click to expand...
Oh ya, I get that. I’ve been through this 3 times now.
Allegra said:
My daughter has had a surgery where her neurosurgeon told us absolutely no daycare for at least three weeks post surgery because of the risk of infection.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear that, and I understand why she would be ordered not to attend Day Care, and can understand where you are coming from.

I don’t remember our pediatrician advising for or against sending any of our boys to daycare…I think she just asked if they were and if it was in home or at a center…
 
I had my oldest child in daycare for her first two years. It was okay --good points and bad points. We were able to make it work for me to quit working after those two years. Then we ran through a lot of our savings (in about a year), and I went back to work for ten hours a week (for ten years). I was glad I kept my hand in, because I got hired back in for full-time when I was ready.
 
Last edited:
"Im also worried that my infant will lose that special bond that we have. "

Studies have proven that hospitalized infants can tell the difference between their mothers and their nurses (no matter how loving). Your baby isn’t going to stop loving you because someone else took care of her for a little while. If you choose to be SAHM, great, but if this alone is a reason not to go back to work, it is a groundless fear.

FWIW, my daughter spent 65 days in the hospital when she was born. She always knew who I was, and our bond has always been strong. Both my daughter and my son went through daycare, and they still think their mom hung the moon.
 
“Why can’t we at least have a year of unpaid maternity leave without worrying about losing our job when the year is over?”

Because Republicans shut down this discussion every time it is even mentioned. 😔
 
Z1Z2 said:
FWIW, my daughter spent 65 days in the hospital when she was born. She always knew who I was, and our bond has always been strong.
Click to expand...
The older was whisked away to an NICU 40 miles away almost immediately as she hadn’t grown one of the coatings in the lungs yet (5 weeks early. Oddly, she was the larger by over a pound. The other we eventually learned was completely deaf in one ear, but that’s another story).

They had them on racks under lamps with cardboard eye shields, hooked up to an array of monitors.

when I would wrap my hand around her, her vitals changed quite measurably for the better (reduced pulse, etc.).

Also, I asked a nurse for a sharpie. She gave me one–along with an odd look.

I promptly drew sunglasses on her eyeshade, and gave it better.

A few years later, I saw that sunglasses were now printed on them . . . someone owes me royalties! 🤣

hawk
 
Are babies in the US better sleepers than babies in the UK? I can’t imagine being able to go to work with a 6 week old baby to look after. How do you find time to shower and do laundry?
 
Last edited:
ours all slept though the night once they reached 10 lbs (I suppose that’s 5/7 of a stone to you 🙂 ). As they all had to be put on formula very early (limited production, not choice), this came sooner. It’s also heavier and stays there longer.

hawk
 
We still use lb for babies for some reason over here, I’m always converting my little ones weight as it’s officially done in kg.

I guess babies are all different but mine is a very clingy bad sleeper who does long cluster feeds in the evening. I would be more of a liability at work right now! I get mat leave for a year and am not due to go back to work until she is 10 months.
 
Agent94 said:
Maybe children might be safer, but what about the individual attention they need? A caregiver can’t love a child the way a mother does. Im also worried that my infant will lose that special bond that we have. My whole day is basically revolving around caring for her needs, whether it be breastfeeding her or just holding her in my arms where she can feel loved and safe.
Click to expand...
My two girls did wonderfully in day care (the younger one is still there, actually). The older girl made friends there who have followed her to pre-K and kindergarten, and will continue with her into elementary school.

And it hasn’t interfered in the least with their bond with their mother (or me, for that matter).

As to the safety issues, really, I understand that it’s natural to read the paper and see some horror story about something that happened at a day care place somewhere, but these things just don’t happen hardly at all. If other parents in your area recommend a day care place, you can be pretty sure it’s OK.
 
Agent94 said:
Another thing I have come to realize as a mother, is that the USA is sadly the most greedy, money hungry country. Why can’t we at least have a year of unpaid maternity leave without worrying about losing our job when the year is over? If we couldn’t have paid leave, at least it could be mandated that mothers have a year of unpaid leave knowing that their job will be waiting for them.
Click to expand...
You should get together with my Canadian wife (now living with me in the US). She thinks it’s absolutely barbaric that we don’t have this. She points out that Canada is able to manage this without destroying their (quite healthy) economy. And she’s quite jealous of the time her sister and brother-in-law (still in Canada) got to take with their children.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top