Daycare as grave matter

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So the husband knows that his wife has a headache and that she isn’t interested…yet he insists because of his own selfish needs… yet SHE is the sinner not him? What a sick, twisted, perverted teaching… the more I hear about the odd personal teachings of this particular priest, the more furious I become.
 
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Yes, that is what a man does, and those are the obligations of marriage. Glad you listened to it! To fail in rendering an obligation is a sin against justice, therefore grave matter, therefore potentially mortally sinful, if the knowledge is there.

The demons want to weaponize sex and use it divisively. That’s not really new.
 
Kindergarten is different than daycare. I doubt if anyone is going to find nuns in the daycare for 9+ hours a day. Probably no nuns in any daycare. Probably very few in kindergarten either.
 
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LittleWay16 said:
As a side note, when I was a pediatric nurse, most of the injuries/ accidents I saw occurred with grandparents or family watching the kids. Not daycare. Family members don’t have required safety training and first aid/cpr. I personally feel my son is safer in daycare than he is with his grandmother.
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My sister and I were watched by our maternal grandparents as both our parents worked. The time I spent with them were some of the most wonderful, and cherished times of my life. I’m not saying that what you’ve experienced isn’t true, I’m just relating my own experience.
 
That’s the point of this entire thread… his personal teachings on daycare… and now, as an aside as per a couple of the posts above, the sinfulness of a woman declining sex when she has a headache.
 
“Honey, I don’t care that your head is hurting…I don’t care that you’re exhausted. I have needs. Pull down your pants or burn in hell!” Because that’s exactly what the implication is if he insists when she’s clearly in pain.

How is the man not sinning against charity?
 
Somehow I don’t think that that is what the priest said. We have only second hand reports to work with.
 
If you search on YouTube, you’ll find his interviews on this topic.
 
twf said:
Honey, I don’t care that your head is hurting…I don’t care that you’re exhausted. I have needs. Pull down your pants or burn in hell!” Because that’s exactly what the implication is if he insists when she’s clearly in pain.

How is the man not sinning against charity?
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It’s also degrading and dehumanizing.
 
It’s also just…dumb. People who bang on about this stuff can screech all they want. Just ignore it.
 
So there’s no traditional teaching that St. Paul’s command that men love their wives, and sacrifice for their wives, as Christ does the Church, applies in the bedroom? Men don’t sin against charity when they demand the “debt be paid” when it clearly causes the one they’re supposed to love, cherish, and protect pain and discomfort?

Regardless, this “sex” question is a tangent… the daycare / second job thing is clearly his personal teaching as it is very much a contemporary question.
 
I mentioned one. It is his personal opinion that women working outside the home are sinning unless there is a grave reason. That is not actually Church teaching.
 
In fact this entire modern dynamic of working “outside the home” vs “stay at home parent” is a very modern development. Medieval Catholic peasants had no such distinctions. Sure, the man may have been more likely to till the fields and the woman more likely to churn butter, but they both worked AT and around the home, and that was the historic norm for most of Church history.
 
So what do you think a stay at home mother does all day? I wouldn’t change places with my wife - she has a full plate and then some.
 
twf said:
In fact this entire modern dynamic of working “outside the home” vs “stay at home parent” is a very modern development. Medieval Catholic peasants had no such distinctions. Sure, the man may have been more likely to till the fields and the woman more likely to churn butter, but they both worked AT and around the home, and that was the historic norm for most of Church history.
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Ding ding ding!

I often think, “Shouldn’t men be home more than they are?!”

I think the labor system as it stands now is absolutely terrible for all parents. As a general rule, both parents have to work and hire out childcare, no relatives live nearby, and families almost never see each other, and when they do, they’re all too tired to enjoy it. Putting the blame all on the parents (and especially mom) seems very misguided.

My husband and I were blessed that we were able, over a period of years, to get ourselves into a position where I can stay home and he works very close to home, and works a reasonable number of hours. Not everybody can arrange that, but man, I think it’s worth it to try. And to try to recreate the “villages” our ancestors took for granted. Those support systems are almost gone.
 
I believe everything you say. And it seems to indicate the priest may very well be right (perhaps the word “grave necessity” should be worded “serious necessity”). If it is that heart-wrenching to do, doing if for no other reason than “we need to make a boat payment” seems rather lax relative to one’s parenting responsibilities. Just saying, the priest is not clueless, he sounds like he understands your situation exactly and is pointing out how one should not put themselves or their children through that without a serious reason. That’s the thing about morality: following it normally makes our life happier. It normally makes sense.
 
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