Daycare providers possibly homosexual?

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travissbeloved

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I have a bit of a dilemma with my daughter’s daycare providers. She goes to a home day care that is run by two women and it is a GREAT daycare program. She is always happy to go there and is always happy when I pick her up. Her two “teachers” always have them do a lot of crafts and even bought each child a gift for Christmas. They are wonderful ladies who really care about the children and run the business very professionally. The problem is that I think they might be lesbians. Now I don’t have a problem with a daycare provider being a lesbian but I am more worried about if they are showing affection when I am not there. Let me just say that I do not even know for sure if they are lesbian or in a relationship together but they are two women who live together and run a business together and I’ve seen them out in public together as well. But I have NEVER seen them show any behavior such as holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. So any suggestions on what I should do?
 
I’d say not to worry about it. If you have never seen any signs of something untoward going on then why assume something untoward is going on?

If you simply must know you could always ask the women. If it turns out they are gay you could remove your daughter from the daycare or ask that they do not show physical affection in front of your child.
 
travissbeloved said:
Let me just say that I do not even know for sure if they are lesbian or in a relationship together but they are two women who live together and run a business together and I’ve seen them out in public together as well. But I have NEVER seen them show any behavior such as holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. So any suggestions on what I should do?
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Yes. Stop looking for problems where there are none.
 
agnes_therese said:
Yes. Stop looking for problems where there are none.
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That’s easier said then done when it is the well being of your child. That’s like saying don’t look for signs of abuse. And I think there are a couple of things that point toward them possibly being together…which again, I really do not care if they are lesbians because that is none of my business. It only becomes my business if they are showing affection in front of my child and I cannot know that unless I just walk up to them and ask if they’re gay. So I don’t really know how to approach that gently.
 
I doubt anyone running a daycare center full of young, energetic children has time to show affection to each other at work.
 
travissbeloved said:
That’s easier said then done when it is the well being of your child. That’s like saying don’t look for signs of abuse. And I think there are a couple of things that point toward them possibly being together…which again, I really do not care if they are lesbians because that is none of my business. It only becomes my business if they are showing affection in front of my child and I cannot know that unless I just walk up to them and ask if they’re gay. So I don’t really know how to approach that gently.
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I’m not sure you can. I know I would be quite put out if you asked me that.
 
I have gay friends and associates. Although when I was in college I saw PDA, I have not seen my mature, adult gay friends do so. I presume said teachers are mature adults. If they in fact do identify as lesbians, they probably have enough business savvy to not flaunt it, or their daycare wouldn’t succeed.
 
travissbeloved said:
It only becomes my business if they are showing affection in front of my child and I cannot know that unless I just walk up to them and ask if they’re gay.
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Um, why would knowing that they’re gay help you know that they show inappropriate affection toward each other in the workplace? You seem to be assuming that gay people just can’t keep their hands off each other. 😦
 
Prodigal_Son said:
Um, why would knowing that they’re gay help you know that they show inappropriate affection toward each other in the workplace? You seem to be assuming that gay people just can’t keep their hands off each other. 😦
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That is not what I am saying. When I ran a home daycare and my husband would come home before all the kids were gone I might give him a kiss on the lips saying “Welcome home honey!” However, I wouldn’t want my little girl coming home and asking why her two girl teachers kiss each other on the lips…because A. She is not old enough to learn about that kind of stuff and B. I don’t want my child exposed to that.
 
If you haven’t seen anything, it isn’t likely they are doing anything in front of the kids. I don’t think it sounds like something worth worrying about right now. It might be that they are just friends or relatives. Did you ask? I mean, you don’t have to ask “are you lesbians?” If you are putting your child in their home daycare, it’s within the realm of reasonable conversation to say, “So, how do you guys know each other?”
 
travissbeloved said:
That is not what I am saying. When I ran a home daycare and my husband would come home before all the kids were gone I might give him a kiss on the lips saying “Welcome home honey!” However, I wouldn’t want my little girl coming home and asking why her two girl teachers kiss each other on the lips…because A. She is not old enough to learn about that kind of stuff and B. I don’t want my child exposed to that.
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Well, if you daughter did come back and ask that, you could just say that people do funny things, and we don’t always know why. That’s true enough, as we can all tell by just looking around. And *then *you could take your girl out of the daycare. 🤷

I doubt your daughter would think it strange at all, no more than my kids think it strange when I give my best friend a big hug. Adults do funny things all the time.
 
Ok, thank you to everyone who gave me helpful advice but most people here are just saying that I’m being mean because I care if my children are exposed to homosexual acts (even if it’s just kissing, holding hands) so I guess I will just assume they are not doing those things while children are in their care.
 
TRH1292 said:
I’d say you are being a little uncharitable and paranoid.
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Holier than thou much?

The OP isn’t citing concerns that the daughter be exposed to (gasp) ‘those people’, the OP is citing concern of certain behaviour
 
travissbeloved said:
That’s easier said then done when it is the well being of your child. That’s like saying don’t look for signs of abuse. And I think there are a couple of things that point toward them possibly being together…which again, I really do not care if they are lesbians because that is none of my business. It only becomes my business if they are showing affection in front of my child and I cannot know that unless I just walk up to them and ask if they’re gay. So I don’t really know how to approach that gently.
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What is there to “approach,” when you’ve never seen them do anything wrong?
most people here are just saying that I’m being mean because I care if my children are exposed to homosexual acts (even if it’s just kissing, holding hands)
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But you said specifically that you haven’t seen anything like that happen. Now you’re talking as though you have? Which is it?
 
Hobbes42 said:
Holier than thou much?

The OP isn’t citing concerns that the daughter be exposed to (gasp) ‘those people’, the OP is citing concern of certain behaviour
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Thank you! Finally, someone understands. I love these women! They run an awesome daycare. But even if they peck on the lips and a child sees it…I am not comfortable with that. I wanted to see if anyone had any ideas on how I could ask them about the nature of their relationship without hurting their feelings. Jeez.
 
travissbeloved said:
Ok, thank you to everyone who gave me helpful advice but most people here are just saying that I’m being mean because I care if my children are exposed to homosexual acts (even if it’s just kissing, holding hands) so I guess I will just assume they are not doing those things while children are in their care.
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Kissing and holding hands are not homosexual acts. 🤷

There is no intrinsic meaning in a kiss. Such meanings are culturally encoded, and preschoolers haven’t gotten that encoding yet. French kissing – now that would be another story.
 
agnes_therese said:
What is there to “approach,” when you’ve never seen them do anything wrong?

But you said specifically that you haven’t seen anything like that happen. Now you’re talking as though you have? Which is it?
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I’m saying I am away from my child for 7 hours a day and I don’t know what they do for those 7 hours. I know they are good people that won’t harm my child but if they are in a homosexual relationship they may see nothing wrong with a quick kiss on the lips here and there. You can’t say that I cannot worry about something just because I haven’t seen it. A lot of kids are abused at daycare but the parents don’t know because they don’t see it happen.
 
Prodigal_Son said:
Kissing and holding hands are not homosexual acts. 🤷

There is no intrinsic meaning in a kiss. Such meanings are culturally encoded, and preschoolers haven’t gotten that encoding yet. French kissing – now that would be another story.
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Okay, well I personally do not want my kids to be exposed to it. I don’t let them watch anything where a man is simply kissing a man or a woman another woman because I just think it’s inappropriate until they get a little older and I can explain what homosexual acts are and why it is wrong, etc.
 
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