Daycare providers possibly homosexual?

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kozlosap said:
I taught high school for 33 years and the best teacher I ever encountered was a gay man who taught severely developmentally delayed teenagers. I don’t think sexual orientation has anything to do with the quality of teaching. In our district we have had far more problems with adult women certificated staff having inappropriate relationships with their young male students than with same sex offenses. 🤷
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Did he have a gay teaching assistant who was perhaps also his lover? If so, were the classes conducted in their home? Mere orientation is not the issue here at all! The OP has made that clear from the beginning!
 
travissbeloved said:
I have a bit of a dilemma with my daughter’s daycare providers. She goes to a home day care that is run by two women and it is a GREAT daycare program. She is always happy to go there and is always happy when I pick her up. Her two “teachers” always have them do a lot of crafts and even bought each child a gift for Christmas. They are wonderful ladies who really care about the children and run the business very professionally. The problem is that I think they might be lesbians. Now I don’t have a problem with a daycare provider being a lesbian but I am more worried about if they are showing affection when I am not there. Let me just say that I do not even know for sure if they are lesbian or in a relationship together but they are two women who live together and run a business together and I’ve seen them out in public together as well. But I have NEVER seen them show any behavior such as holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. So any suggestions on what I should do?
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Do not make a mountain out of an ant hill 🙂
 
travissbeloved said:
I just read the synopsis…that sounds like a very sad movie. It is somewhat similar I guess but I would never going around ruining their reputation. If I were to pull my daughter out I would do so quietly.
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People change childcare providers all of the time, and no one thinks a thing of it. If the providers are very good, as the OP says they are, someone on their waiting list is probably going to be very happy if the OP decides to go elsewhere.

If the childcare was not going to be long-term (as in, up to the age where the child would actually understand what sexuality even is), I would personally not worry about it. Even if the pair are each other’s lover, would be highly unusual for a romantic couple doing childcare to venture into PDAs that a small child would even find “weird”.

Still, it is stressful for a child to lose a long-time caretaker. If the childcare is done in this couple’s home, then it is reasonable to believe that there will be bride-bride wedding pictures up at some point, and that is something that even a four-year-old “gets”. If that is something that concerns the OP, she does not sin against these women by finding other arrangements, even if it turns out that they are not lesbians or are not in any relationship with each other at all. They will probably find her daughter’s replacement before her tiny little child-sized chair gets cold.
 
travissbeloved said:
It isn’t a mountain…but it also isn’t an ant hill…more like the badlands…ya know, medium sized.
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One could assume that they are respectful of others around them if they even are lesbians.

That might be a very uncomfortable conversation if the three of you if they are not. 😛

If you ran a daycare with your husband, would you go around kissing and hugging on him in front of the kids?
 
aidanbradypop said:
If you ran a daycare with your husband, would you go around kissing and hugging on him in front of the kids?
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Exactly. This is especially true since prevention of sexual abuse requires childcare providers to avoid touching the children in any way that is remotely sexual. The caretakers would of course avoid that kind of show of affection among themselves, too. If you think it is bad to have parents wondering if you are lesbian, imagine what it would do to the business if someone thought you might be a pedophile!! :eek:

Still, if the childcare was run in your home, you’d have wedding pictures up, you’d refer to him as “my husband” and he’d refer to you as “my wife.” Your relationship would eventually be obvious, because of the marital status. I mean not that it would be obvious that you were sex partners, but that you were married, once of which very small children sort of understand and one of which they usually don’t even imagine exists.
 
EasterJoy said:
People change childcare providers all of the time, and no one thinks a thing of it. If the providers are very good, as the OP says they are, someone on their waiting list is probably going to be very happy if the OP decides to go elsewhere.

If the childcare was not going to be long-term (as in, up to the age where the child would actually understand what sexuality even is), I would personally not worry about it. Even if the pair are each other’s lover, would be highly unusual for a romantic couple doing childcare to venture into PDAs that a small child would even find “weird”.

Still, it is stressful for a child to lose a long-time caretaker. If the childcare is done in this couple’s home, then it is reasonable to believe that there will be bride-bride wedding pictures up at some point, and that is something that even a four-year-old “gets”. If that is something that concerns the OP, she does not sin against these women by finding other arrangements, even if it turns out that they are not lesbians or are not in any relationship with each other at all. They will probably find her daughter’s replacement before her tiny little child-sized chair gets cold.
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That is very true, especially in the city I live in. Childcare is great demand especially for infants-2 yr olds. As for now I think I will keep her in care. They are taking two weeks off for Christmas vacation so that will give me some time to discern.
 
EasterJoy said:
Exactly. This is especially true since prevention of sexual abuse requires childcare providers to avoid touching the children in any way that is remotely sexual. The caretakers would of course avoid that kind of show of affection among themselves, too. If you think it is bad to have parents wondering if you are lesbian, imagine what it would do to the business if someone thought you might be a pedophile!! :eek:
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And that is why I work from home and became a stay-at-home dad. lol I sleep better at night.
 
aidanbradypop said:
One could assume that they are respectful of others around them if they even are lesbians.

That might be a very uncomfortable conversation if the three of you if they are not. 😛

If you ran a daycare with your husband, would you go around kissing and hugging on him in front of the kids?
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If he came home from work I would give him a peck on the lips in front of the kids or a hug. I wouldn’t see this as inappropriate in front of children because children should see appropriate signs of marital love between a married couple. I would not want my daughter seeing two women do that however. I know some may say that she wouldn’t even understand it but what about when she’s 4? I know my almost 4 year old son would be asking me some questions if he saw that. (He goes to a different provider who provides him with special needs care and it’s very expensive so we chose not to send our daughter there as well.)
 
travissbeloved said:
That is very true, especially in the city I live in. Childcare is great demand especially for infants-2 yr olds. As for now I think I will keep her in care. They are taking two weeks off for Christmas vacation so that will give me some time to discern.
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As long as you think you could move your daughter if you see something that concerns you–that is, that they are teaching her things about marriage that go against your beliefs, whether they are lesbians themselves or not–that is what I’d do.
 
travissbeloved said:
If he came home from work I would give him a peck on the lips in front of the kids or a hug. I wouldn’t see this as inappropriate in front of children because children should see appropriate signs of marital love between a married couple. I would not want my daughter seeing two women do that however. I know some may say that she wouldn’t even understand it but what about when she’s 4? I know my almost 4 year old son would be asking me some questions if he saw that. (He goes to a different provider who provides him with special needs care and it’s very expensive so we chose not to send our daughter there as well.)
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I understand your concerns. 🙂

If it really bothers you that much I would just come out and ask them. 🤷

You can always find another provider if it gets a bit sticky lol
 
aidanbradypop said:
I understand your concerns. 🙂

If it really bothers you that much I would just come out and ask them. 🤷

You can always find another provider if it gets a bit sticky lol
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See, I don’t think it would be prudent to just ask them…that would be very uncomfortable. This morning when I dropped my daughter off I asked one of them about “their plans for Christmas” And she said something like “O I think we’re both staying home, just taking some time off.” So once again, that’s fairly vague. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that even if they are together (which honestly I truly think they are) they really don’t want their clients to know about it. Which is exactly what I prefer. But as I said it involves some more discernment and prayer.
 
travissbeloved said:
See, I don’t think it would be prudent to just ask them…that would be very uncomfortable. This morning when I dropped my daughter off I asked one of them about “their plans for Christmas” And she said something like “O I think we’re both staying home, just taking some time off.” So once again, that’s fairly vague. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that even if they are together (which honestly I truly think they are) they really don’t want their clients to know about it. Which is exactly what I prefer. But as I said it involves some more discernment and prayer.
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And this ole Episcopalian will place you in my prayers as well. 👍

Stay warm!
 
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