Deacon giving bad advice to relative, what should I do?

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We have a deacon in our church who is also a family friend. Recently my sibling has begun to return to the practice of the faith. However their spouse was married before and this would be an impediment to taking communion. When I told them this they were hurt but still came to church and I said they should talk to our parish priest and get all the details. So they either refrain from the Eucharist or go through the process of annuling the spouse’s previous marriage.

Well they went to the deacon and he said 'Jesus wouldn’t want anything to come between him and the person who wants to receive. That Jesus would be OK with my sibling going to Communion in spite of church dogmas and teachings. how can a deacon say it is OK ignore what the church says as if it means nothing?

should I tell my parish priest what the deacon said?
 
No, because you are going on what your sibling relayed to you. I’m not saying that your sibling fibbed to you, just that they may have misunderstood what was actually said as well as it’s meaning.

The right thing to do would be to encourage your sibling to go and speak to the priest.

I realize this deacon is a family friend, but even in health issues if one family member said one thing and another said the opposite, then the prudent thing would be to advise the person to seek their doctors advice on the matter. So I see no harm in suggesting your sibling see your parish priest. And hopefully, the deacon would not be offended by this.
 
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Maybe approach the deacon first to clarify? Maybe there’s a miscommunication in there somewhere. Or someone is fudging the truth…
 
vsedriver said:
annuling the spouse’s previous marriage.
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Was this previous marriage a Catholic one? I’m not sure there’s anything to annul if it wasn’t. But then I’m no expert. The reality is most people wouldn’t bother.
 
Um, the deacon’s not entirely wrong (going strictly off of what you’ve posted here). The sibling is Catholic, and while there is a marital matter to resolve, there is a possibility of going to confession and resuming sacramental life. That’s an option — not one most couples opt to pursue or like, due to the caveats attached, but it is an option that’s perfectly acceptable. The spouse would likewise be able to resume a sacramental life in the Church if Catholic; otherwise, the annulment and marriage needs addressed before any RCIA, if that’s on the table.
 
Always good to have both sides of the story. Simply ask Deacon. Decide after you hear the response.
 
No, a Catholic married to a divorced person cannot simply go to Confession and receive the Eucharist. The marriage situation must be regularized one way or another before receiving any sacraments, including Confession (but excluding Anointing of the Sick).

Even a never-married Catholic married to a never-married person, if the wedding occurred outside the Church without appropriate permission has to get his or her marriage regularized before receiving any sacraments.
 
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Nope. Not true - personal experience and speaking with my own priest is what I’m basing this on. The fact is, the sin is marriage outside of the Church or willingly entering an invalid marriage. That can be forgiven via confession. It is NOT ok to carry on as a married couple until the marriage issues are resolved, but you can resume sacramental life; it’s just not ideal, nor normally done.
 
😁 More effective when people ask questions or challenge the response, though (or maybe I’m just tired and poking bears for fun?)
 
Maybe you are tired and poking bears… and poking bears is one thing, but messing with the truth is another.

The World News forum is a better place for poking bears when you really need to do that 😎
 
po18guy said:
Always good to have both sides of the story. Simply ask Deacon. Decide after you hear the response.
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I would hope the deacon wouldn’t go talking about a private discussion with someone else!
 
Not understanding your point, since it was not a confession, and apparently was not requested to be in confidence, since the OP knows of it. Truth matters, so if the Deacon was correct and was mis-heard, he can clear that up. If Deacon was in error, that can also be corrected. Otherwise…

???
 
po18guy said:
Not understanding your point, since it was not a confession, and apparently was not requested to be in confidence, since the OP knows of it. Truth matters, so if the Deacon was correct and was mis-heard, he can clear that up. If Deacon was in error, that can also be corrected. Otherwise…
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Gee, I know it wasn’t a confession, thanks. :roll_eyes:
The point is obvious. If I go discuss a family matter with my deacon, that doesn’t mean he’s free to discuss it with others.
 
Annie said:
poking bears
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Ouch! Please don’t poke us bears. We have enough hassles as it is 🐻

I agree.
There’s too many uncertainties in the chat with deacon. He’s a family friend and may have wanted to be supportive. There may have been a misunderstanding. He may have given a wrong answer. Really best to just go straight to the priest, the buck stops with him.
 
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Not your job to police him. To put it bluntly, stay out of his marriage and faith journey. There’s far more downside than upside. He may, for example, be chaste in his marriage and allowed to take communion.

“…people who live outside of the church’s explicit teachings — primarily people who divorce and remarry outside the church, but Chaput also included people who live together unmarried and same-sex couples — are eligible for Communion only if they don’t have sex.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...y-means/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ef12288df3e0
 
To OP… YOu haven’t given enough info here for anyone to validate that the advice was bad.
 
vsedriver said:
So they either refrain from the Eucharist or go through the process of annuling the spouse’s previous marriage.
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There is a third way, the couple can live as brother and sister under the guidance of their pastor.
 
Police doesn’t mean “removing the splinter from the other’s eye”.
 
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