Dealing with a gay in law with children

  • Thread starter Thread starter Fjc
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
They appear at various places. My wife actually had a heart to heart with her brother and explained to him that it wasn’t out of some animosity, but they are not old enough to understand it. Obviously if this were my family it would be handled so much differently because everyone is the same position on it. My wife wants to do everything possible to maintain a relationship while trying to be true to the faith, as do i. We decided to tell the older 2 kids 8 & 7 that if they wanted to call him uncle they could, if they didn’t want to that was fine too bc their cousins call him that. And I left it at that. Didn’t go into anything else. Now I am not happy about it, because I still think you are affirming it in some sense. And I think my brother in law understands our position and will respect the rule of no PDA. But as wth anyone on the left, it’s usually never enough. I just hope we are not back in this same position a year from now demanding we cave more. We shall see. But it became clear my wife’s sister doesn’t monitor anything and there is no restraint, which is mind boggling. To be continued I guess. Thanks to all who posted here, some great feedback!!
 
Bradskii said:
Your choices are to expose your children to it or hide it from them.
Click to expand...
I just don’t think that we need to expose children to all of the perversity in the world at an early age. Let the children be children.
 
MikeInVA said:
40.png
Bradskii:
Your choices are to expose your children to it or hide it from them.
Click to expand...
I just don’t think that we need to expose children to all of the perversity in the world at an early age. Let the children be children.
Click to expand...
No-one could argue with that. But as I said earlier, answer all questions as honestly as you can. Telling children that two people love each other and want to stay together for the rest of their lives within a marriage is not a perversity. If you explained that to them in regard to two opposite sex people, then I don’t think there’d be any need to take it any further than that.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but there seems to be an unspoken desire not to have your children accept two same sex couples getting married as being normal. Well, it’s normal as in ‘not unusual’, so I would suggest you educate your children as to the realities of life. With the understanding that explicit details do not need to be given.

As they get older you can explain your position a little further to match their level of maturity.
 
Last edited:
Bradskii said:
two people love each other and want to stay together for the rest of their lives
Click to expand...
The problem is, this is what 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999% of people believe to be the definition of marriage.

We taught out kiddo: " 1601 “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.”

Continuing through the following 65 paragraphs, marriage was never presented to our child as simply the next logical step in romance.
 
Bradskii said:
Correct me if I’m wrong, but there seems to be an unspoken desire not to have your children accept two same sex couples getting married as being normal.
Click to expand...
You are incorrect. It is a very much spoken desire. It is not normal.
 
MikeInVA said:
Your choices are to expose your children to it or hide it from them.
Click to expand...
IMO, it’s better to address it first as the child’s parents rather than to let their peers explain things to them (which would probably be different than your explanation). It’s like the sex talk in general…do you want to explain the birds and bees to them based on your values, or have their peers do so based on their values (which may vary from yours)

Children are capable of listening to their parents and adopting their values, when they are taught lovingly and age appropriately.
Click to expand...
 
TheLittleLady said:
The problem is, this is what 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999% of people believe to be the definition of marriage.
Click to expand...
7,000,000,000 * 0.9999999999999999999999999999999999999 - 7,000,000,000 = 0 people believe otherwise.

Seems to be a math error here.
 
MikeInVA said:
I just don’t think that we need to expose children to all of the perversity in the world at an early age. Let the children be children.
Click to expand...
I agree absolutely with letting children be children. On the other hand, kids have a tendency to ignore a lot of what they don’t understand. They have many more important things to do and worry about than whatever the adults are concerned with.

20 years from now it might come up in conversation.
Parent: “Do you remember the man they called Uncle Jack?”
Recent college grad: “Um…yeah, sort of. Why?”
Parent: “Did you know he was gay?”
“Huh. Whatever. Why do you want to know?”
“He passed away.”
“Huh. That’s too bad. Hey! Who ate the last piece of cake?!”
 
Last edited:
MikeInVA said:
40.png
Bradskii:
Correct me if I’m wrong, but there seems to be an unspoken desire not to have your children accept two same sex couples getting married as being normal.
Click to expand...
You are incorrect. It is a very much spoken desire. It is not normal.
Click to expand...
‘My Daddy says that you two are abnormal’.

Way to go, Mike.
 
I’m not sure that describing the deceased as homosexual is necessary in identifying him as a person.
20 years from now it might come up in conversation.
Parent: “Do you remember the man they called Uncle Jack?”
Recent college grad: “Um…yeah, sort of. Why?”
…
“He passed away.”
“Huh. That’s too bad. Hey! Who ate the last piece of cake?!”
Click to expand...
Works fine for me.
 
Last edited:
Fjc said:
Now I am not happy about it, because I still think you are affirming it in some sense.
Click to expand...
There are things that shouldn’t be normalized or affirmed. Things that cause harm.

I did some reporting on gays and gay issues back in college during the height of the AIDS crisis, when “silence = death” was the real deal, and homophobia went well beyond saying hurtful things out loud. Folks were afraid to share drinking fountains. People do bad things responding to fear.

I wrote about those things when they occurred on campus, straight journalism, nothing editorial. Readers responded. The mildest accused me of being homosexual, very much “fighting words” back then. A couple of the less mild responses were forwarded to the police.

So there’s that.

Naturally enough, the threats steeled me against anti-gay positions, or some of them, but I was still close enough to straight out of the military to think little beyond, “Bring it.” I was a journalist, or close enough, an engineering student who did journalism on a sprawling urban campus, and I was going to report what I saw.

At the same time, young men I would never have suspected were gay would come up and thank me for my reporting, well before I had committed to anything more than free speech and accurate reporting. Some were living the “gay lifestyle” that was at the heart of the AIDS crisis, rampant promiscuity. Some would share stories over drinks or just leaning against the bricks outside a gay bar.

There were very real public health issues at the time. There was no cure, then or now. There was no treatment, then, either. They knew they were endangering their lives. I asked about it.

“It’s not like we’ll ever get married.”

Unforgettable.
 
It is not only not normal, it is diabolical. The devil loves to see God’s holy plan for marriage and family corrupted. He must especially love same sex “marriage” as it is the exact opposite of holy matrimony.
 
Last edited:
My brother is “married” to a woman. He is a baptised Catholic who married outside the Church, without canonical form or dispensation to do so, and they are both committed to living “child-free” (well, free of any that might have been aborted if they are using chemical contraception)…

My children WILL NOT be taught to call his “wife” aunt.

We complain about the silence of our bishops, when priests were abusing young boys and girls, but so many of us are afraid to demand truth in our speech. Have we any right to be upset?
 
Ryan1 said:
We complain about the silence of our bishops, when priests were abusing young boys and girls, but so many of us are afraid to demand truth in our speech. Have we any right to be upset?
Click to expand...
Yes, because there is a world of difference between being rude to your family member because you don’t approve of his marriage, and covering up a felony that scars minors for life.
 
It isn’t a marriage. To admonish sinners (in this case, fornicators or adulterers or sodomites) is a work of mercy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top