A quick hail mary. I will learn to stop talking about it as well. It will just make me angryJust see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Each time she slams a door, or whatever, pray for her. Think of the slam as a reminder to pray.
Do not escalate or try to get revenge- that is a sin. Just offer it up to God when it annoys you and ask Him for His help.
That made me smile. I like that idea!I have taken up Blessed Fr. Solanus Casey’s offer, and I have masses said for people. The nicest thing you can do for someone is have a mass said for them. I am so happy to do it for the ones I love or have deep concern for, but over the past few years** I get almost giddy when someone is ticking me off as I write up their mass request. **.
Just out of curiosity, have you tried talking to her? She seems to be trying to get your attention. Can you calmly say something like, “You seem upset with me the way you’re slamming things around. Do you want to just air it out so you don’t feel so upset?” If you keep it neutral and non-accusatory, perhaps she’ll try talking to you instead of slamming things.She has really uped her antics. She will slam anything from the fridge, cupboards, drawers, etc. It is not me looking too deeply into things. No one slams the fridge, cupboard or drawers that loud and hard on accident. I am just waiting for her to break something. She only picks up her mail. I know she throws one of my handcloths on the floor. I do not use it but every morning I find it on the floor.
Part of the reason I am moving is because we do not get along. She found someone to replace my lease. She is just evil at this point. I cannot think of anything I have done to warrant this behavior. I AM NO ANGEL. But this is CLEARLY bullying. She knows I am leaving soon. I think she wants to make my last days as miserable as possible.Do you think perhaps she’s mad you’re moving? Perhaps she’s worried about being able to afford the apartment without you? It doesn’t have to be logical.
God, I love this response. I laughed three times.God forgive me, but I am not as saintly as the other people here, and I would not tolerate this. I would have done something by now.
I would tell her that if this continues, you will not be paying her your portion of the rent, or I would tell her u are calling the landlord because u do not want to be held liable for broken doors etc. I would tell her that her appliances are soaking up electricity that u both pay for, and either she stops or you will unplug the fridge microwave etc. Then I would slam the door in her face and go to confession.
Oh, please don’t take my question as a defense of her behavior. I am not defending her. She is bullying you, she is behaving deplorably. What I’m seeking, with my questions, is whether there is anything you can do to defuse it rather than merely ignore it in the time you have left. Most people have reasons for the things they do, even when the reasons are known only to them. Sometimes we can figure out the reasons, if we really try to put ourselves in that person’s shoes. Reasons aren’t excuses. Her behavior is bad, wrong, period. But perhaps if you could figure out the motive, you could figure out a way to get her to stop for the time you have left. For your own sanity.Part of the reason I am moving is because we do not get along. She found someone to replace my lease. She is just evil at this point. I cannot think of anything I have done to warrant this behavior. I AM NO ANGEL. But this is CLEARLY bullying. She knows I am leaving soon. I think she wants to make my last days as miserable as possible.
I cannot think of the reason other than making my life miserable. Maybe she is still upset over our last disagreement 8-10 weeks ago. I should have apologized for the way I handled the situation. It is difficult to say sorry to someone who is blatantly rude, underhanded and has a bad attitude. Other than this situation, she is not a bad roommate but she is just too bossy, too blunt and overbearing. If she told her side of the story, I would agree. She is an honest person but her attitude is impossible to deal with. She had major problems with her last roommate. I have spent enough time trying to dissect her behavior. Maybe she is just angry about other things and is taking out on me. This would not be the first time she lashed out at me in angerOh, please don’t take my question as a defense of her behavior. I am not defending her. She is bullying you, she is behaving deplorably. What I’m seeking, with my questions, is whether there is anything you can do to defuse it rather than merely ignore it in the time you have left. Most people have reasons for the things they do, even when the reasons are known only to them. Sometimes we can figure out the reasons, if we really try to put ourselves in that person’s shoes. Reasons aren’t excuses. Her behavior is bad, wrong, period. But perhaps if you could figure out the motive, you could figure out a way to get her to stop for the time you have left. For your own sanity.
My suggestion, in this Year of Mercy, is to apologize now. Perhaps she is indeed holding a grudge over that. Regardless, if you owe her an apology, give it. Don’t expect her to apologize for any of her nasty behavior, but don’t let that stop you from doing the right thing yourself. And perhaps some humility from you will defuse some of her passive aggressive behavior, making your remaining weeks more bearable. And who knows- perhaps she will indeed respond by apologizing for the way she has been behaving.Maybe she is still upset over our last disagreement 8-10 weeks ago. I should have apologized for the way I handled the situation.
I will consider that option. It will just be me apologizing to her as usual and taking full responsibility for the entire as usual - making her again, right as usual. I will truly weigh this one.My suggestion, in this Year of Mercy, is to apologize now. Perhaps she is indeed holding a grudge over that. Regardless, if you owe her an apology, give it. Don’t expect her to apologize for any of her nasty behavior, but don’t let that stop you from doing the right thing yourself. And perhaps some humility from you will defuse some of her passive aggressive behavior, making your remaining weeks more bearable. And who knows- perhaps she will indeed respond by apologizing for the way she has been behaving.
If you have sinned against her, you owe her the apology. And yes, she owes you one as well, but you can’t control what she does. You can only control what you do.I will consider that option. It will just be me apologizing her as usual. Me being blamed for the entire thing. I used to apologize to her. I will truly weigh this one.
I do not “need” to do anything. I have free-will. Perhaps this is my pride talking. I will weigh it. Maybe I will not apologize and let it be or maybe I will.If you have sinned against her, you owe her the apology. And yes, she owes you one as well, but you can’t control what she does. You can only control what you do.
Trust me- I know it’s hard. I HATE apologizing. It’s embarrassing, it’s humbling, and sometimes you really feel the other person doesn’t deserve it. But it’s part of being a Catholic Christian- sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing, but you need to do the right thing.
Well I did it. I swallowed my pride and apologized.If you have sinned against her, you owe her the apology. And yes, she owes you one as well, but you can’t control what she does. You can only control what you do.
Trust me- I know it’s hard. I HATE apologizing. It’s embarrassing, it’s humbling, and sometimes you really feel the other person doesn’t deserve it. But it’s part of being a Catholic Christian- sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing, but you need to do the right thing.