I too live with a husband with depression and anxiety issues. I have been married to him for 10 years now. Sometimes I wonder if he suffers from a personality disorder, but he has been seeing a psychiartist for about 8 years now and they assure me, he is not suffering from one of these disorder, but I am the one who lives with him.
Anyway, how do you stay afloat? It is not easy. Through the grace of God and help the Mary our Mother and the saints in Heaven is how I have done so. I use to be able to go to daily Mass and that was a great source of comfort to receive Jesus daily, but I homeschool now and the program I use keeps my dd and I so busy, we don’t have time to go to Mass. If we did, we would be homeschooling until late at night and she would hate homeschooling. She is already resenting it a little for we go late until about 5 pm sometimes. I am looking into other programs that are not so hard for her. Anyway, as a result of my husbands problems, he can’t work, so he is home with me all the time. He has many addictions and this bothers me. I am here for him, but I get upset at all his addictions, especially to food and TV. He does try to go to daily noon Mass if he can wake up. He sleeps a lot because he is up late at night. His psychiatrist told me he is suffering from major depression and that I need to be understanding and patient. I am for the most part, but you see we are both physically disabled too and I need help around the house and I do everything and it bothers me too. If I ask him to do something, he “forgets” or doesn’t do it. He says I don’t respect him and I say he doesn’t love me. Anyway, we are working on that part of our marriage and the audio book we are listening to is helping, but my dh is having trouble applying some of the concepts. He is very overweight, morbidly obese actually and I have a bad back and by his overeating and continuing to overeat, it just keeps the pounds coming. In the meantime it hurts my back when we make love. So it is very difficult living with someone who is so depressed that all he does is think of himself and all his problems. My dh centers himself on all that is wrong with him and I am sure that not being able to work bothers him. But he has not been able to work now for 7 years of our married life. He can do some things around the house and he doesn’t. Sometimes I call it laziness, but I know he is suffering physically and mentally. I still work in physical pain and in mental pain.
Just be careful. For a period of time there, I allowed myself to be dragged down with him. I got so depressed myself. I didn’t care about anything anymore. My husband had a bad anger problem too. He still does, but under medication now it is more control. It does take time for the right combination of drugs to work and dose. So be patient there. But don’t allow yourself to be dragged down too. I got so depressed that I didn’t care to discipline my dd or cook to feed her or anything. It just happened that I was going to a pain management doctor for an appointment and she saw how depressed I looked. She started to ask me question on my life at home. I talked to anyone who would listen. She told me to get some help and so see a psychiatrist for some antidepressant and that I may only need it for a little while, but to do it for my daughter. I did and I am glad I did. I only needed it for three months and felt better and could think clearly. After that I did a novena to the Holy Spirit and that helped the most.
I will keep you in my prayers and for your husband as well. May Jesus give you strength and if you can’t receive Holy Communion daily, take as many Spiritual Communions as possible. That is what I do now.
