Dealing with Atheist Anger

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Catholic_Lady said:
This is true, and I disagree with any of these notions and will speak out against them every time. However, I don’t think this can be used as an “excuse” or “reason” as to why angry atheists are the way they are (I use the term angry atheists to refer specifically to the hostile ones. I know not all atheists are like this). The things they say about Christians in their atheist forum is MUCH worse and MUCH more frequent than anything I’ve seen Catholics say about atheists here. And they are about a million times meaner to theists on their forum than we are to atheists on this forum. Some of them would be very mean to me when I was nothing but kind and respectful to them. They’d ask me questions about my faith and then get really mad at me for my answer. I was compared to the Ku Klux Klan, told I’m a horrible person, and much worse things were said to me there that I can’t even write here because it would be against the rules.
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I think you’re right, I have dealt with angry athiests as well, and they can be very insulting and brush religous people as violent and racist people.
 
Always be ready to share the reasons for your belief with all (as scripture teaches us), live it authentically in love and pray for everyone God puts in your path.

mlz
 
As many people have already said, there are different kinds of atheists.

But there are also different kinds of obnoxious atheists. Some atheists are just obnoxious generally, for some it’s how they get to feel smart. And there are yet others for whom the hatred of religion is part of what you might call a healing process.

Some of the people I’ve met who are most anti-religious are people who had very conflicted adolescences and are anti-religious as a way to deal with that pain. Maybe you’ve met them, they’re abuse victims, gay people, folks who grew up in a small town where everyone gossiped about how sinful everyone else way. Even the man whose mother was constantly reminding them how when they masturbated as a teenage boy they were going to hell.

When I met a person like that, I don’t really see hatred so much as a see another fellow human struggling to form their identity. If they really didn’t care about religion, it just wouldn’t matter to them. Like how I feel when my wife asks my opinion about two different outfits.

But it does matter, because their identities, like all of ours, are so fragile. So I when I hear that sort of thing, I try to recognize what it is, someone flailing saying “No mother, I’m not a bad person!” and that helps me feel compassion for them.

That’s not all obnoxious atheists. Some are just obnoxious. But it’s a lot of them. And when it is, I just let them get it out so they can feel a little better about themselves and try to change the subject as quickly as possible.
 
Best way to deal with atheists?

Stay away from comboxes.
 
Can I say, as an atheist who tries to be no more obnoxious than necessary, that I admire the thoughtful and restrained nature of the comments in this thread, which are a credit to you.
 
DaddyGirl said:
This doesn’t sound too angry or hostile. Was it in his tone? If he’s an atheist, it would make sense that he may not like to watch something with “too much religion” in the same way that many Catholics, for example, don’t want to see films or read books that are filled with too much “sinning.”

But it’s not ironic at all. For many of them, their anger come from being raised in a religion.

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It was the tone. This guy doesn’t get what you’d traditionally call “mad”. He gets this look of disgust on his face and his attitude just turns in a way that’s hard to describe. But he’s mad…
 
Padres1969 said:
So I was curious how folks on CA have dealt with atheists they’ve come across over the years that don’t just reject religion, but atheists who are downright hostile towards it.

I was compelled to write this article after an incident last night with a long time friend who happens to be atheist. Usually he’s a very affable and congenial Canadian (and he’s as close to those Canadian nice guy stereotypes as I’ve seen in real life). But something about religion sets him off.

We’ve been holding a night where we get together and watch a TV series or movie as close to weekly as we can for many years. Currently one of those shows is a short lived series (I think it was on Fox) that in one episode featured a Catholic nun who had lost her faith and run away from a convent and the priest who was sent after her to try and convince her to come back. Suffice it to say the episode’s basic premise was that the nun’s faith is regained when she sees what she thinks is a miracle. In the process of following the wayward nun the priest encounters a former girlfriend from before he turned to Christ and the child he never knew he had and they are reunited all because the nun ran away. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, except my friend whose first response after the credits was, “I didn’t care for that at all, too much religion in it.” And mind you this was a comedic episode of a largely comedic show. It featured several situations a Catholic might actually consider a tad insulting with the wayward nun attempting to exorcise another character who hears voices with a kitchen knife, the priest using a bathroom stall as a de-facto confessional (while also using said bathroom), etc… All done for comedic effect of course. And my friend’s sole takeaway, was that it was bad because it featured two religious characters.

Now this was not the first time I’ve noticed this proclivity from him to be extremely put out by religion. Nor is he the only person I know who has similar proclivities. My aunt is another one who puts down religion in her own passive aggressive way in person or on social media any chance she gets. And an increasing number of people I come across have similar reactions. Religion, and Judeo-Christian Religion in particular, seems to simply anger them by it’s very existence. And many of them were ironically raised in some religion, almost universally it was Christian.

At long last we get to my basic question for this thread. How do you deal with that kind of response? Obviously not interacting with them at all is not possible, as in many cases these are lifelong friends, or family. And obviously avoiding the topic works well in the majority of situations. But sometimes it just can’t be avoided. 🤷 So what is one to do? :confused:
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A study found that approximately 20% of atheists are “angry atheists”, so the stereotype has some basis in actual fact.

Start by trying to understand the underlying source of the anger. I see three major reasons:


  1. *]They’ve been hurt by someone in the Church. This could be their parents, their pastors, their friends, their spouse or some combination of these people. Victims of clerical abuse or those who grew up in overly strict fundamentalist homes are commonly dealing with this kind of anger.

    *]They have been disappointed by God. This takes root when they are faced with a serious crisis, and despite lots of prayer, the desired answer does not come. They may be angry that a loved one died or bitter over a problem at work that did not turn out well. God’s silence caused them to become resentful toward Him. Parents who have lost young children to cancer or accidents might fall into this group.

    *]A third reason might by the experiential Problem of Pain or Suffering. Faced with the enormity of human suffering, someone might become angry at a God whom they perceive as allowing or even causing great pain while apparently doing nothing to prevent it. Relief workers in flood-ravaged areas or soldiers who faced the horrors of combat might be in this category.

    By getting to the root of these issues, you may be able to help them to begin the healing process that begins when they can let go of the misplaced anger they feel toward God.
 
Randy_Carson said:
A study found that approximately 20% of atheists are “angry atheists”, so the stereotype has some basis in actual fact.

Start by trying to understand the underlying source of the anger. I see three major reasons:


  1. *]They’ve been hurt by someone in the Church. This could be their parents, their pastors, their friends, their spouse or some combination of these people. Victims of clerical abuse or those who grew up in overly strict fundamentalist homes are commonly dealing with this kind of anger.

    *]They have been disappointed by God. This takes root when they are faced with a serious crisis, and despite lots of prayer, the desired answer does not come. They may be angry that a loved one died or bitter over a problem at work that did not turn out well. God’s silence caused them to become resentful toward Him. Parents who have lost young children to cancer or accidents might fall into this group.

    *]A third reason might by the experiential Problem of Pain or Suffering. Faced with the enormity of human suffering, someone might become angry at a God whom they perceive as allowing or even causing great pain while apparently doing nothing to prevent it. Relief workers in flood-ravaged areas or soldiers who faced the horrors of combat might be in this category.

    By getting to the root of these issues, you may be able to help them to begin the healing process that begins when they can let go of the misplaced anger they feel toward God.
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  1. Do you have a link to that study? The academic in me would love to read it or more about it.

    And your list does seem comprehensive and definitely explanatory for angry atheists who have been exposed to, or members of a religion at some point. And it would seemingly cover a great number of said angry atheists. But I think the one issue is, it seemingly presupposes that everyone has some personal exposure to religion. I’ve found over the years with a few atheists I know that’s not always the case. It is for most I’ll grant you, my aunt for example raised Catholic, now angry atheist is a perfect example of all 3 of your categories to one extent or another. But I’ve met at least one angry atheist who doesn’t fit that “post personal religion” POV. He was raised atheist, by atheists, and anger at God for personal or communal suffering doesn’t really factor into it for him.

    He’s almost a fourth category. His anger at religion doesn’t stem from a problem in the sense of your categories above. Rather his anger at religion, is simply that he sees it as a ridiculous unproven (and unprovable) superstition. One he’s angry at, because it’s dictating to people how they live, who they love, etc… at the behest of what he amounts to a year round version of Santa Claus. He simply seems mankind as being better than that, more evolved that that, and to not live up to our so called potential in that regard by shaking off old superstitions is very frustrating to him.
 
Randy_Carson said:
A study found that approximately 20% of atheists are “angry atheists”, so the stereotype has some basis in actual fact.

Start by trying to understand the underlying source of the anger. I see three major reasons:


  1. *]They’ve been hurt by someone in the Church. This could be their parents, their pastors, their friends, their spouse or some combination of these people. Victims of clerical abuse or those who grew up in overly strict fundamentalist homes are commonly dealing with this kind of anger.

    *]They have been disappointed by God. This takes root when they are faced with a serious crisis, and despite lots of prayer, the desired answer does not come. They may be angry that a loved one died or bitter over a problem at work that did not turn out well. God’s silence caused them to become resentful toward Him. Parents who have lost young children to cancer or accidents might fall into this group.

    *]A third reason might by the experiential Problem of Pain or Suffering. Faced with the enormity of human suffering, someone might become angry at a God whom they perceive as allowing or even causing great pain while apparently doing nothing to prevent it. Relief workers in flood-ravaged areas or soldiers who faced the horrors of combat might be in this category.

    By getting to the root of these issues, you may be able to help them to begin the healing process that begins when they can let go of the misplaced anger they feel toward God.
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  1. I’m sure a lot of angry atheists fall into this category, but I’m sure plenty of them are just plain bullies. They feel superior to theists. They feel like they’re smarter than everyone else who believes in God. And they fuel that feeling of superiority by constantly bashing people of faith.

    Sometimes there is no psychological reason as to why people are mean. They’re just mean.
 
I wonder whether there could be cultural issues involved? Are atheists in highly religious societies like the US more angry than atheists in, say, the UK where people tend not to be so bothered one way or the other?

Certainly, I’ve witnessed atheists getting very angry with certain styles of on-line proselytising.
 
Kaninchen said:
I wonder whether there could be cultural issues involved? Are atheists in highly religious societies like the US more angry than atheists in, say, the UK where people tend not to be so bothered one way or the other?

Certainly, I’ve witnessed atheists getting very angry with certain styles of on-line proselytising.
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Being US based I’ve limited non-US experience to compare it with.

But I suspect that may be part of it. It seems segments of the religious population in recent decades as religiosity has declined in the US, have begun more forcefully pushing back against the net loss of religion and it’s associated influence on US society. And the growing a-religious/atheist population sometimes take affront to that even absent any bad personal experience with a former religion of their own. And the net result is you get more of these angry atheists who feel they need to push back against the religious push back. Call it a feedback loop if you will?
 
Padres1969 said:
Do you have a link to that study? The academic in me would love to read it or more about it.
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After a brief search, this is about as close as I can get you:

jamesbishopblog.wordpress.com/2015/03/20/study-suggests-that-many-atheists-are-angry-at-god/
And your list does seem comprehensive and definitely explanatory for angry atheists who have been exposed to, or members of a religion at some point. And it would seemingly cover a great number of said angry atheists. But I think the one issue is, it seemingly presupposes that everyone has some personal exposure to religion. I’ve found over the years with a few atheists I know that’s not always the case. It is for most I’ll grant you, my aunt for example raised Catholic, now angry atheist is a perfect example of all 3 of your categories to one extent or another. But I’ve met at least one angry atheist who doesn’t fit that “post personal religion” POV. He was raised atheist, by atheists, and anger at God for personal or communal suffering doesn’t really factor into it for him.
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It always fascinates me when speaking with atheists to see how quickly they argue from (or with!) scripture or the POV of the denomination they used to belong to. Well, if they dispute the historical reliability of the gospels, that’s one thing, but how does this objection move them to deny all other monotheistic religions or theism in general? 🤷
He’s almost a fourth category. His anger at religion doesn’t stem from a problem in the sense of your categories above. Rather his anger at religion, is simply that he sees it as a ridiculous unproven (and unprovable) superstition. One he’s angry at, because it’s dictating to people how they live, who they love, etc… at the behest of what he amounts to a year round version of Santa Claus. He simply seems mankind as being better than that, more evolved that that, and to not live up to our so called potential in that regard by shaking off old superstitions is very frustrating to him.
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I don’t believe in unicorns, but my lack of belief doesn’t drive me to spend a lot of time in online forums railing away at people who do. 👍
 
Randy_Carson said:
After a brief search, this is about as close as I can get you:

jamesbishopblog.wordpress.com/2015/03/20/study-suggests-that-many-atheists-are-angry-at-god/

Dr. Gary Habermas mentioned this study in a YouTube talk.

Maybe my lack of comprehensiveness is due to the lack of an academic in me. 😛

I don’t believe in unicorns, but my lack of belief doesn’t drive me to spend a lot of time in online forums railing away at people who do. 👍
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Thanks for the link.

And fair point on your last. But at the same time people who believe in unicorns, or that unicorns might have existed once, are very few and very far between. And generally if there are any out there they don’t let that belief dictate their live, or how they interact with others, etc… Except maybe those Bro-nies who seemingly worship My Little Pony.

Point being however that belief in God is different than most other “superstitions” (as an atheist would view it). Most “superstitions” are not widely held, or strongly held in the way religion is. Nor does belief in any other “superstitions” pervade our culture in quite the same way so much so that it’s been part of wars fought or a defacto requirement to be president of our country for example.
 
Padres1969 said:
And the net result is you get more of these angry atheists who feel they need to push back against the religious push back. Call it a feedback loop if you will?
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The first time we lived in the US we found the its religiosity rather a shock and I say that as somebody who, while having grown up in the UK, was born in Italy. Somehow the pervasive age-old Catholicity of Italy seemed quite normal and non-aggressive in comparison to the US. 🙂
 
Padres1969 said:
Thanks for the link.

And fair point on your last. But at the same time people who believe in unicorns, or that unicorns might have existed once, are very few and very far between. And generally if there are any out there they don’t let that belief dictate their live, or how they interact with others, etc… Except maybe those Bro-nies who seemingly worship My Little Pony.

Point being however that belief in God is different than most other “superstitions” (as an atheist would view it). Most “superstitions” are not widely held, or strongly held in the way religion is. Nor does belief in any other “superstitions” pervade our culture in quite the same way so much so that it’s been part of wars fought or a defacto requirement to be president of our country for example.
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Agreed.
 
Kaninchen said:
The first time we lived in the US we found the its religiosity rather a shock and I say that as somebody who, while having grown up in the UK, was born in Italy. Somehow the pervasive age-old Catholicity of Italy seemed quite normal and non-aggressive in comparison to the US. 🙂
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US Protestantism v. Italian Catholicism perhaps?
 
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