Dealing with braggarts

[chevalier]

How do you deal with snobs who flaunt their successful, happy lives? SIL brags about how many friends they all have, their children’s endeavors, how happy their lives are, how knowledgeable of the faith she is, how many people and parties she hosts at their huge house, etc.

How do I, who am struggling financially, marriage-wise, and in finding friends for my children, deal with such a person without feelings of jealousy and resentment? Our lives are complete opposites.

How does one feel “happy” for someone who endlessly brags about how “blessed” she is?

Peace.

+JMJ+

Your so-called lack of success in life need not be a failure spiritually. The common belief is that God allows hardships to come only to completely extraordinary people who end up canonized. How many more out there ‘whose faith only He knew’? To paraphrase the OT, He happens to spank the children He loves — to make them better. Hence trials, hardships etc. need not be signs of punishment or rejection by Him, they might as well be signs of love.

Regarding how to deal with braggarts, well, start from praying and there’s a ton of graces we don’t get simply because we don’t even (think to) ask. So I’d start from asking. Plus, whoever feels the need to brag quite possibly doesn’t really feel secure but instead experiences a great longing for confirmation. Hence the bragging. So they too are vulnerable creatures and in fact quite needy. So be happy for them, otherwise show them compassion (about the neediness), try not to resent your own life and what you have. Perhaps focus on your relationship with Good more, and strength will come from there. Pray for those folks. It becomes harder to think or feel bad things about people when you pray for them by name.

 

[faithsmind]

Your so-called lack of success in life need not be a failure spiritually. The common belief is that God allows hardships to come only to completely extraordinary people who end up canonized. How many more out there ‘whose faith only He knew’? To paraphrase the OT, He happens to spank the children He loves — to make them better. Hence trials, hardships etc. need not be signs of punishment or rejection by Him, they might as well be signs of love.

Regarding how to deal with braggarts, well, start from praying and there’s a ton of graces we don’t get simply because we don’t even (think to) ask. So I’d start from asking. Plus, whoever feels the need to brag quite possibly doesn’t really feel secure but instead experiences a great longing for confirmation. Hence the bragging. So they too are vulnerable creatures and in fact quite needy. So be happy for them, otherwise show them compassion (about the neediness), try not to resent your own life and what you have. Perhaps focus on your relationship with Good more, and strength will come from there. Pray for those folks. It becomes harder to think or feel bad things about people when you pray for them by name.

Yeah, I think most often, blessings come in the form of heartbreak or hardships–true treasure is character and virtue stored within souls and in heaven. Know this and be silent amidst her stories. Life is eternal, all will pass away.

 

[Allegra]

This!

It’s been my experience that anyone who constantly brags is typically quite insecure and is lacking something in his/her life. By bragging, they’re probably equally trying to convice not only you that their life is so great, but themselves as well.

It’s been my experience that a great many people who are accused of bragging, actually aren’t bragging at all and are simply happy and grateful for the good fortune that has favored them. The insecure party is often the one accusing the other party of bragging. I’ve actually known very few people who were actually bona fide braggarts, but the ones I have encountered had so many other toxic personality problems that the bragging was actually a lesser issue. In fact, in the cases of the few braggarts I’ve encountered, the bragging was pretty pitiful, since it was obvious that their lives were in major crisis, plagued with narcissism and addiction.

 

[pianistclare]

OP,
Are you sure she is bragging? Or does it sound too good to be true considering your current struggle?

Maybe it’s thoughtless of her, but be glad she has a good situation. She likely means no harm. too
Yours will be resolved be too one day, and I’m quite sure you might want to give thanks aloud as well.

*And to the person who believes all comments refer to them…
Why do you think that? Do you believe people hang on your every word?
It’s not cool to attack another because they disagree with you. I disagree with many people. You know what I do? I walk away rather than show myself to be paranoid. Unsubscribe. Dust your sandals off.
Just a suggestion. :coffeeread:
*

 

[chevalier]

Are you sure she is bragging?

Sometimes a person can be legitimately thankful or at least happy but clumsy about communicating it, so it comes across as bragging but isn’t always. I’m not challenging the OP’s assessment — obviously the OP was there and knows the person and I wasn’t and don’t, so I’d be quite silly to second-guess the OP’s perception — but just some pointers, something to think about in case the signals are ambiguous.

 

[pianistclare]

Sometimes a person can be legitimately thankful or at least happy but clumsy about communicating it, so it comes across as bragging but isn’t always. I’m not challenging the OP’s assessment — obviously the OP was there and knows the person and I wasn’t and don’t, so I’d be quite silly to second-guess the OP’s perception — but just some pointers, something to think about in case the signals are ambiguous.

yup. Our dear OP has been through some rough times. I can imagine her “lens” is colored by disappointment.
It’s hard when you are suffering to not feel “why can’t that be me?” I’ve been there.

I wish her peace.

 

[chevalier]

A lot of people these days seem to be on a journey of self-discovery, something our ancestors didn’t have much time or use for. People sometimes end up absorbed by it and taking time to communicate their findings to their neighbours, and that can be rather cumbersome. I tend to view those as akin to children: it’s a stage that has to pass.

 

[faithsmind]

A lot of people these days seem to be on a journey of self-discovery, something our ancestors didn’t have much time or use for. People sometimes end up absorbed by it and taking time to communicate their findings to their neighbours, and that can be rather cumbersome. I tend to view those as akin to children: it’s a stage that has to pass.

What? I take it you’re not female nor do you… have a wife? We enjoy bonding over those sorts of things with other lady friends.

Chevalier, you need a margarita and a massage, honey. You need a vacation.

I say we all have a margarita. Double for OP

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

How do you deal with snobs who flaunt their successful, happy lives? SIL brags about how many friends they all have, their children’s endeavors, how happy their lives are, how knowledgeable of the faith she is, how many people and parties she hosts at their huge house, etc.

How do I, who am struggling financially, marriage-wise, and in finding friends for my children, deal with such a person without feelings of jealousy and resentment? Our lives are complete opposites.

How does one feel “happy” for someone who endlessly brags about how “blessed” she is?

Peace.

+JMJ+

I’m absolutely the best at dealing with braggarts!!!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

My sister and mother are very materialistic. And status and bragging rights are prime.
I’ve just accepted that they are like that…