Dealing with depression

[lovedance4ever]

Hello everyone.

The past couple of weeks have been horrible, and I am slowly approaching my breaking point.

First of all, I lost a girl who I at least thought was my best friend. Our views, both political and religious, are quite different, and I guess I should have known it was coming. The last day we spent time together, our conversation was very one-sided (her side, that is), and then she spent the rest of her time texting her boyfriend and best friend. She belittled me for being a virgin, and made fun of my views, like I could not possibly know a thing about sex, because I am not experienced that way. I know she knew I was angry with her, because after that, we stopped speaking (texting, facebook, etc). The final straw for me was the other day when she posted that she had spent the evening hanging out with this girl who goes to our college. Last semester, I was stalked by that girl and her other friend, and when I had told my “friend” this, she said that she would not hang out with someone who was so two-faced. I felt like this move was a slap in the face. I can only imagine what they must be saying about me.

Here comes part two of my story. I am in this horrible philosophy class, where the teacher makes no sense at all. The past four semesters, I have maintained a 4.0, and I know without a doubt I am going to lose it. The professor waits until we break the rules before she tells us what they are; she will also say one thing, and then when you do it, she says you did it wrong. Almost everyone hates her. At any rate, the class is Ethics, and we are supposed to choose a topic and present what we chose in our various groups. Well, without thinking, I chose abortion; I am very much prolife, and stupidly thought that since I am at a Catholic college, there must be other conservative students in my class. Wrong.

The five other students in my group are prochoice, and looked at me like I was nuts. To top it off, it is the end of the semester and we are supposed to be working on our presentation. I thought that they were just being lazy by not setting up a time to work together, but I just found out the other day that they are meeting without me! I just cannot believe it.

Finally, yesterday I was sitting in that same class and the guy who sits behind me, shoved my chair forward while I was in it. When I turned around to look at him, he was pretending to stretch. I was furious, and could not believe what had just happened. He is in my group also; although, my family thinks that he might “like” me. While that’s a nice thought, I’m not going to buy into that one.

And that brings me to the latest, stupid feeling that I have. I know it is ridiculous to think this way, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, and it is quite depressing to me, because I feel like I am not attractive to men. Granted, I do have a few extra pounds that need to be shed, but I have been working on that and have lost a significant amount of weight over the past month. I go to the gym every day, walk on the tredmill, jog outside, and lift weights. Even though I’m overweight, I am very strong (I used to be in great shape) and stand at 5’10"…might that be the reason men find me unattractive?

I gained the weight, because I was in so much pain from having fibromyalgia and problems with my feet. I’ve sucked it up now, but I hate myself so much for the way I look. It is depressing to be an eighteen year old female who is not attractive at all to anyone.

As silly as this may all sound, it is very upsetting to me. Prayers are always welcome, but any advice that you may have for me is very much appreciated, as well.

Thank you in advance, and God bless.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

:console:

1. Sounds like that girl is a jerk. Good that you let her go. Don’t worry about what others are saying about you - it’s none of your business.
2. I HATE group projects!!! Always have, always will. Give me twice the work but don’t make my grade dependent upon everyone else in the group!! Total sympathy on what you are going through. Fake it and get the grade. Just suck it up, you aren’t going to change your classmates’ opinions nor your teacher. In the long run, this class will be only a dim bad memory.
3. I probably would have slugged the guy.
4. Your inner feeling is what shows on the outside. You’re not happy right now and not feeling confident. A few pounds is not a put-off to men. A withered spirit is. But, IMO you don’t need a boyfriend right now. A few more real friends, sure. But you have a lot of work to do in the next year or two and having a steady boyfriend interferes with that. Make a few more friends if you can. Is there a Newman Center on campus? You said it’s a Catholic University so I would hope so. Go there and start signing up for stuff. Just do it. Keep working out, but you have to know that you are worth being friends with no matter what the scale says.

and 5. :console:

College is tough!

 

[phoooiee]

I don’t have advice, but I will be praying for you!

When I feel depressed, it does at least help to remind me that even in my worst of states, God still loves me…Jesus came to comfort the afflicted.

I will be praying for you before the Blessed Sacrament this evening

 

[pentecostbaby]

So sorry, sweetie. It’s hard to feel so lonely.

As a university prof, I can tell you that your concerns about your prof should not go unspoken. Please talk to her and then to your dean about it, and put in a grade challenge (be very specific about how she is unfair and what’s been happening).

At least the semester is almost over. Keep praying, and keep working as best you can.

 

[Armyvet007]

1. You lost a “friend,” not a friend. Look at it as if she was doing you a favor [and from the sounds of it, her only favor to you].
2. Sounds like you have the makings of an original ethics class topic. Ethical behavior of the majority [them] toward minorities [you] with non-majority views. Or something like that.
3. Sounds like your classmate decided he would rather have stayed in high school. You could a)move seats or b)report him for bullying/creating a hostile environment/harrasment or c)both.
4. The only reasons you should worry about weight are health, job requirement, or an angry Drill Sergeant.
5. Attractiveness- There was a thread on one of these forums concerning weight “weighty issue” “weighty concern” or something as a title]. Track it down and read it. Most men prefer personality over skinny. Which would you rather have- a “hot” boyfriend with the personality of a tree or a “pudgy” boyfriend that makes you feel special? The same works for us guys.
6. Boyfriends- You’re 18. You’re in college. Don’t worry about having one. Better yet, don’t get one and focus on your education. I went through high school and college without a girlfriend. I was married by 25. You have plenty of time.

 

[thetruth0flife]

Hello everyone.

And that brings me to the latest, stupid feeling that I have. I know it is ridiculous to think this way, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, and it is quite depressing to me, because I feel like I am not attractive to men. Granted, I do have a few extra pounds that need to be shed, but I have been working on that and have lost a significant amount of weight over the past month. I go to the gym every day, walk on the tredmill, jog outside, and lift weights. Even though I’m overweight, I am very strong (I used to be in great shape) and stand at 5’10"…might that be the reason men find me unattractive?

Thank you in advance, and God bless.

In my opinion you must take a break and rest for a while. You can’t do everything all at once. Try to break down yoor goals one by one. Don’t worry too much about dating guys while in college.

Remember that you need to first complete the semester first before continuing with your social or loving life. Try to just focus on your studys (sorry if this sounds dumb) and don’t try to accumulate more stress on you. Trying to have a boyfriend while having a 4.0 G.P.A. only contributes you in having more pressure or stress. It’s too much.

I hope that you maintain your 4.0 G.P.A. and that everything goes accordingly. Feel proud for having chosen a pro-life topic. Many blessings.