L
lovedance4ever
Guest
Hello everyone.
The past couple of weeks have been horrible, and I am slowly approaching my breaking point.
First of all, I lost a girl who I at least thought was my best friend. Our views, both political and religious, are quite different, and I guess I should have known it was coming. The last day we spent time together, our conversation was very one-sided (her side, that is), and then she spent the rest of her time texting her boyfriend and best friend. She belittled me for being a virgin, and made fun of my views, like I could not possibly know a thing about sex, because I am not experienced that way. I know she knew I was angry with her, because after that, we stopped speaking (texting, facebook, etc). The final straw for me was the other day when she posted that she had spent the evening hanging out with this girl who goes to our college. Last semester, I was stalked by that girl and her other friend, and when I had told my “friend” this, she said that she would not hang out with someone who was so two-faced. I felt like this move was a slap in the face. I can only imagine what they must be saying about me.
Here comes part two of my story. I am in this horrible philosophy class, where the teacher makes no sense at all. The past four semesters, I have maintained a 4.0, and I know without a doubt I am going to lose it. The professor waits until we break the rules before she tells us what they are; she will also say one thing, and then when you do it, she says you did it wrong. Almost everyone hates her. At any rate, the class is Ethics, and we are supposed to choose a topic and present what we chose in our various groups. Well, without thinking, I chose abortion; I am very much prolife, and stupidly thought that since I am at a Catholic college, there must be other conservative students in my class. Wrong.
The five other students in my group are prochoice, and looked at me like I was nuts. To top it off, it is the end of the semester and we are supposed to be working on our presentation. I thought that they were just being lazy by not setting up a time to work together, but I just found out the other day that they are meeting without me!
I just cannot believe it. 
Finally, yesterday I was sitting in that same class and the guy who sits behind me, shoved my chair forward while I was in it. When I turned around to look at him, he was pretending to stretch. I was furious, and could not believe what had just happened. He is in my group also; although, my family thinks that he might “like” me. While that’s a nice thought, I’m not going to buy into that one.
And that brings me to the latest, stupid feeling that I have. I know it is ridiculous to think this way, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, and it is quite depressing to me, because I feel like I am not attractive to men. Granted, I do have a few extra pounds that need to be shed, but I have been working on that and have lost a significant amount of weight over the past month. I go to the gym every day, walk on the tredmill, jog outside, and lift weights. Even though I’m overweight, I am very strong (I used to be in great shape) and stand at 5’10"…might that be the reason men find me unattractive?
I gained the weight, because I was in so much pain from having fibromyalgia and problems with my feet. I’ve sucked it up now, but I hate myself so much for the way I look. It is depressing to be an eighteen year old female who is not attractive at all to anyone.
As silly as this may all sound, it is very upsetting to me. Prayers are always welcome, but any advice that you may have for me is very much appreciated, as well.
Thank you in advance, and God bless.
The past couple of weeks have been horrible, and I am slowly approaching my breaking point.
First of all, I lost a girl who I at least thought was my best friend. Our views, both political and religious, are quite different, and I guess I should have known it was coming. The last day we spent time together, our conversation was very one-sided (her side, that is), and then she spent the rest of her time texting her boyfriend and best friend. She belittled me for being a virgin, and made fun of my views, like I could not possibly know a thing about sex, because I am not experienced that way. I know she knew I was angry with her, because after that, we stopped speaking (texting, facebook, etc). The final straw for me was the other day when she posted that she had spent the evening hanging out with this girl who goes to our college. Last semester, I was stalked by that girl and her other friend, and when I had told my “friend” this, she said that she would not hang out with someone who was so two-faced. I felt like this move was a slap in the face. I can only imagine what they must be saying about me.
Here comes part two of my story. I am in this horrible philosophy class, where the teacher makes no sense at all. The past four semesters, I have maintained a 4.0, and I know without a doubt I am going to lose it. The professor waits until we break the rules before she tells us what they are; she will also say one thing, and then when you do it, she says you did it wrong. Almost everyone hates her. At any rate, the class is Ethics, and we are supposed to choose a topic and present what we chose in our various groups. Well, without thinking, I chose abortion; I am very much prolife, and stupidly thought that since I am at a Catholic college, there must be other conservative students in my class. Wrong.
The five other students in my group are prochoice, and looked at me like I was nuts. To top it off, it is the end of the semester and we are supposed to be working on our presentation. I thought that they were just being lazy by not setting up a time to work together, but I just found out the other day that they are meeting without me!
Finally, yesterday I was sitting in that same class and the guy who sits behind me, shoved my chair forward while I was in it. When I turned around to look at him, he was pretending to stretch. I was furious, and could not believe what had just happened. He is in my group also; although, my family thinks that he might “like” me. While that’s a nice thought, I’m not going to buy into that one.
And that brings me to the latest, stupid feeling that I have. I know it is ridiculous to think this way, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, and it is quite depressing to me, because I feel like I am not attractive to men. Granted, I do have a few extra pounds that need to be shed, but I have been working on that and have lost a significant amount of weight over the past month. I go to the gym every day, walk on the tredmill, jog outside, and lift weights. Even though I’m overweight, I am very strong (I used to be in great shape) and stand at 5’10"…might that be the reason men find me unattractive?
I gained the weight, because I was in so much pain from having fibromyalgia and problems with my feet. I’ve sucked it up now, but I hate myself so much for the way I look. It is depressing to be an eighteen year old female who is not attractive at all to anyone.
As silly as this may all sound, it is very upsetting to me. Prayers are always welcome, but any advice that you may have for me is very much appreciated, as well.
Thank you in advance, and God bless.