Dealing with nosy teachers

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Gordon_Sims said:
I wouldn’t be so quick to discount OP’s concerns about CPS being called. We had problems with one of our son’s teachers that nearly escalated to that. She had numerous unfounded disagreements with us over how we were raising and caring for him, most of which were things never brought to our attention prior to a series of contentious meetings with her, the principal, counselor and a couple other teachers. She hounded us through several years of his education, causing problems even when she wasn’t his teacher. The problems spanned the tenures of 3-4 principals and two priests and only ended when I [redacted to avoid going into too much detail] and threatened a lawsuit (the fact that she was also retiring at the end of that year I’m sure played a part in it).** I believe there’s few things worse than someone who thinks they know your business better than you do, and has just enough knowledge or authority to make your life a living hell if you don’t kowtow to them.**
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As a former teacher I am shocked by this thread. This all seems totally unprofessional. Gordon I agree fully with what I have bolded and were this a child of mine you would not see me for dust.
 
The principal called this morning and has set up a meeting today and says the teacher will be there.

I have until Tuesday at noon to let the community school know if we plan on moving our kids back so we can get her IEP stuff done and have them start the next Monday.

My wife is at the point she dose not even want to go meet with the teacher and the principal.
 
I don’t blame your wife. I wouldn’t want to meet either. Besides being humiliating, I would be worried I wouldn’t control my temper very well. I would probably end up saying something I would regret.

If it means anything to you, I was talking to a friend early last month that has five kids at the local school here. It’s not a catholic school (I think it’s baptist), but there were two teachers there that are very much as you described. Thankfully there was a big enough fuss from parents that both teachers are now gone. Unfortunately it seems to have taken several years of complaints and a new pricipal/board of directors for action to occur. Praying for a good resolution for your family.
 
I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

I am a defender of Catholic school…but be prepared for the teacher to say the best way to contact him or her is through email, as they don’t check phone messages. I have heard this.

Catholic schools function differently then public school too, but that does not mean all teachers are exempt from questionable behavior.

As a parent, I would be fine with a questionnaire if it was related to getting to know my child or children…we are pretty transparent and who cares if the teacher knows what kind of house or car I drive and so on. But I would not like if the teacher just asked my child, and no other family.
Or stopped them in the hall.

That’s the question I would ask, and if the whole class got the questionairre, no problem.
 
mommy_k said:
I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

**I am a defender of Catholic school…but be prepared for the teacher to say the best way to contact him or her is through email, as they don’t check phone messages. I have heard this. **

Catholic schools function differently then public school too, but that does not mean all teachers are exempt from questionable behavior.

As a parent, I would be fine with a questionnaire if it was related to getting to know my child or children…we are pretty transparent and who cares if the teacher knows what kind of house or car I drive and so on. But I would not like if the teacher just asked my child, and no other family.
Or stopped them in the hall.

That’s the question I would ask, and if the whole class got the questionairre, no problem.
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I can’t speak for the specific teacher here because I find the behavior very odd, but one very important reason for the bolded is because all email communication is easily documented. Voice communication can’t offer that. In most normal parent/teacher interactions, that shouldn’t be a concern, but when you get to the level of accusations being made and all sorts of unpleasantness, it’s nice to be able to say, “Here’s the entire record of our communication in full.”
 
I just got back home from the meeting with the principal, a few other staff members at the school, and the teacher. Hold up the teacher did not show up as i was told this morning as she would. They were not able to contact her by phone during the meeting for some reason. This is the second time i was told the teacher was going to be at a meeting that she did not show up to.

mommy k. I would of had no issue talking to the teacher by email. The school has my wife’s email and my email on file so i’m sure she could of used it if she tried. I do have issues of putting every aspect of my life on social media as she has asked for the account information.

This is not meant for any one person, but something we all need to think about at some point in our lives. Something everyone needs to think about is that there are always bad apples in every organization.

We will be changing schools and looks like my kids will have a couple of missed school days.
 
gravel_road said:
I just got back home from the meeting with the principal, a few other staff members at the school, and the teacher. Hold up the teacher did not show up as i was told this morning as she would. They were not able to contact her by phone during the meeting for some reason. This is the second time i was told the teacher was going to be at a meeting that she did not show up to.

mommy k. I would of had no issue talking to the teacher by email. The school has my wife’s email and my email on file so i’m sure she could of used it if she tried. I do have issues of putting every aspect of my life on social media as she has asked for the account information.

This is not meant for any one person, but something we all need to think about at some point in our lives. Something everyone needs to think about is that there are always bad apples in every organization.

We will be changing schools and looks like my kids will have a couple of missed school days.
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I didn’t know schools and teachers work on a Saturday. Cool. Glad you are changing schools. I pray it will go well, especially for your oldest little one.
 
E 7. I did not know a school would stand behind a teacher that harasses a child until this school year.
 
gravel_road said:
I just got back home from the meeting with the principal, a few other staff members at the school, and the teacher. Hold up the teacher did not show up as i was told this morning as she would. They were not able to contact her by phone during the meeting for some reason. This is the second time i was told the teacher was going to be at a meeting that she did not show up to.

mommy k. I would of had no issue talking to the teacher by email. The school has my wife’s email and my email on file so i’m sure she could of used it if she tried. I do have issues of putting every aspect of my life on social media as she has asked for the account information.

This is not meant for any one person, but something we all need to think about at some point in our lives. Something everyone needs to think about is that there are always bad apples in every organization.

We will be changing schools and looks like my kids will have a couple of missed school days.
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So glad, you are doing the right thing! Missing a few school days - no biggie! I will pray now for their transition.
 
gravel_road said:
E 7. I did not know a school would stand behind a teacher that harasses a child until this school year.
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Neither did I. It annoys me when others, especially women, think they know our children better and what’s best for them. Stick to your guts and beliefs.
 
pensmama87 said:
I can’t speak for the specific teacher here because I find the behavior very odd, but one very important reason for the bolded is because all email communication is easily documented. Voice communication can’t offer that. In most normal parent/teacher interactions, that shouldn’t be a concern, but when you get to the level of accusations being made and all sorts of unpleasantness, it’s nice to be able to say, “Here’s the entire record of our communication in full.”
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Bingo. It’s better for the parent too, for the same reason.
 
Allegra said:
Did you at least get a reason as to why she was doing this?
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3 meetings with the principal and the OP has not shared a word of the substance of these meetings. And the last meeting on a Saturday. Curiouser and curiouser.
 
What did you all talk about in the meeting? Why would a teacher be called in on a Saturday?

I don’t think this is a USA school system…

I hope you are satisfied with the resolution you reached. Why did you leave the community school? What is a community school? You originally stated your kids had been in catholic schools for a few years, your 8 year old is behind s grade making that about 1st grade? Your terminology and frankly the accounting seems off.

Ps,
Your telling of this story is telling in its own way. It doesn’t make sense so people start asking more in depth questions about which is what you originally had a problem with…
Just cryptically telling your side and not having it add up doesn’t bode well if you wish to not be pestered with questions.

If I were a teacher and a parent dropped thier kid off every day but wouldn’t talk to me but scheduled a meeting on a Saturday during football season, I wouldn’t be thier either…😉
 
The school district where you live provide IEP through your taxes. At the Catholic school. 🤷

There are also other things your school district provides, not the diocese or school, such as bus transportation, speech class and so on…
 
Allerga. All the principal will say is that she must be concerned about something. I do not think he knows what the issue is.

Rau. If i know the reason i would of posted it. If i would of know what the issue was in the first place i would not of asked people i did not know for help.

Hoosir Daddy. I live in VA next to a city that has around 98,000 people in it. Maybe the principal wanted to have a meeting on a Saturday to try to solve an issue so he could count on getting more of the close to half a million i will spend on my kids schooling before collage.
You are right i only know one side of the story. I have never had a working crystal ball. I think i have answered most of the questions that have been asked if you read everything that has been posted and if i have not sorry.
A community school is just a private schools. More or less the same as religion biased school, but with it not being wrapped around a religion they teach a few different things depending on there location.
By the way my 8 year old is in the second grade, but i could see how you would think that not knowing what month she was born.
Depending on how deep you are into your faith the comment about not having a meeting about your job on a Saturday in sports season makes me think you need to rethink your faith look at how you judge others. I have read a lot of your other post on this forum…
 
3 meetings with the principal and you’ve shared not a word of what was said. Why is that ?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
2 kids 40 grand a year for 12 ish years… That’s close to half a million for pre collegiate education. For two kids.

This is perhaps something you should reconsider as a wise use of your money.

Unless this school cranks out martyrs, Saints, priests and nuns at a rapid rate I couldn’t justify this type of spending and then having a teacher be so personally intrusive on where you make your money and if your kid has enough to eat.

Something is off on this situation. Either by the OP or by the school.

It just isn’t making sense.
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yup.
That must be SOME Catholic school. :eek:
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
If I were a teacher and a parent dropped thier kid off every day but wouldn’t talk to me but scheduled a meeting on a Saturday during football season, I wouldn’t be thier either…😉
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Nor would I, but I wouldn’t agree to be there either. This matter could be cleared up very quickly. “Why do you keep asking these questions?” The principal should have asked the teacher that to start with. Why wouldn’t he? The only thing I can think of is that he did and the teacher told him her concerns and the principal thought it was legitimate. But then, why have a meeting? Why not just hotline? I’m not so sure I wouldn’t expect a visit from someone.
 
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