Dealing with ugliness?

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I just don’t understand why me? As a person with my own subjective conscious experiences (I think, therefore I am) why me? When I sit and think about it, it just baffles me that I am actually specifically this ugly person. You know you see other ugly people all the time and you feel pity for them. But when you’re one of them then it really really just sucks…
 
Cuter than a bears ear? At sixty? Mm.

Your voice can make you attractive, have you tried sounding like say…Kelsey Grammar? Who I suspect sounds really nice.

Clothes maketh the man, hold on, so what are tailors doing?

Anyway you get my point. Also glasses with zero magnification can cover dark patches maybe?

Yay! Solutions. And what’s more there are some people who really don’t care what you look like, lots of people fall into that category I’m sure…
 
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Perhaps you don’t need a reason to be “ugly”. It may just be random luck. Or God may have made it so in order to bring forth the good.
 
That’s the point, it is just completely random. I never got a say in this. But here I am and it does not feel good.
 
Yes

There are times when I look at my picture and say the same thing.

Truth is, with today’s unforgiving beauty standards for both men and women, most of us won’t make the cut.
 
That which cannot be cured must be endured.

In any case I’ve never met anyone who didn’t exaggerate their flaws greatly. It’s the sign of a misspent half hour in front of the mirror. Do what you can and carry on regardless.

You might be surprised at how others see you.
Sleep it off, I hope tomorrow you’ll feel better. 🙂
 
Lee1 said:
In any case I’ve never met anyone who didn’t exaggerate their flaws greatly. It’s the sign of a misspent half hour in front of the mirror. Do what you can and carry on regardless.
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I’ve heard that one before, that I’m probably exaggerating. It’s nice but very cliched. I’m not picking on you or trying to be rude or anything. I am just ugly, and that’s the simple fact of life for me…
 
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I agree

I’d rather have a blessed life close to God than physical beauty.
 
Ok, so you’re not immodest are you.
You’re not pushy, probably not likely to boast, probably not a womaniser…
Just think of all the positive attributes you’ve developed due to your so called ugliness. Blessed are the poor in spirit, humility is a gift you know.

That’s the flip side.

If you’re young things will change, and remember that your peers will age as you do, beauty is very transient, a beautiful soul is forever!
 
By what standards do you consider yourself ugly?

To me health is the foundation of beauty. Physical, emotional and spiritual health are the basis of beauty.

So someone who is too overweight or for that matter too underweight may not be healthy and does not look as good compared to someone who is at their ideal weight,
 
I guess I’m biologically healthy in terms of being a living breathing organism. But like my physical appearance is not great.
 
If you’re overweight you can do something about that obviously.

You could try wearing glasses for the eye thing, no magnification.

You could try to grow a beard if that’s solving some problem, that’s a common solution actually for the chin thing you mention.

Also remember that character animates the person, and your voice, a voice can be very attractive, it’s a package, not simply one or two physical things. If you can get into situations where you can let your character shine through then things should be fine.

Lots of solutions to what you think is a problem. Have you ever seen one of those makeover programs! Amazing transformations just through hairstyle, clothes, a tan and some of the things I’ve mentioned.

But seriously, bear in mind the positive character traits you have due to your poor self image. Thank God for those I think.
 
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I’m not overweight, already have glasses, and me growing a beard sucks.
 
Ok, I can tell you’re determined 😉

How about bigger glasses? Aren’t there specialists you could talk to about the skin darkening and your chin? I don’t know what they’re called. That would depend on how much you can afford I suppose, but maybe it’s worth looking in to.

Fo,course the cheapest option is to be forgiving of your flaws and use that knowledge of stoicism to steel yourself to the task of carrying on as though you were fine. That can help you know, confidence is attractive too.
 
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Stoicism and prayer is just about the only thing that allows me to be happy yet still extremely ugly. Also, well, you know they say Socrates was an extremely ugly man so I guess at least one of us get’s good recognition, right? Lol

As for the other things, truly I don’t know if I have the money or time. But thank you for everything you have suggested.
 
I’m just average/skinny. I’m not fit in the sense that I have a six pack and huge biceps. I’m just normal size.
 
Maybe start working on getting some muscle and tone.

For what it’s worth, none of this REALLY matters. You’re a worthwhile and valuable human being regardless. I’m just thinking of something that could help you develop some confidence and self esteem (which, incidentally, is something women find really attractive.)
 
Maybe I could try but I don’t know if I could find the time to go to the gym constantly and I don’t even know if I could get into the habit.
 
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