Dealing with ugliness?

  • Thread starter Thread starter YHWH_Christ
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Focus on cultivating your health.

When I mean health, I mean physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Health is the foundation for beauty. You may never be conventionally attractive but the world’s standard for beauty is frankly disordered.

Whenever I feel insecure about my looks, I tell myself that my mission in life is to know God and be reunited with him in the next life and not to win some beauty contest.
 
Last edited:
Well first, I’ll start by saying that a lot of people are more inclined to think they are ugly than others actually think they are. A lot of people are attracted to others because of their personality and can look past “looks”. Focus on having a beautiful soul 🙂
That isn’t to say not to be healthy though. Maybe try working out! That doesn’t have to be constant, just try to do it a few times a week or at least once a week.
You can certainly look into adult braces which are usually “invisible”. Acne could be from something you are eating, the environment, or just something that you genetically may deal with at an older age.
Keep up with the hygiene and try and get good rest. Dark spots could be a sign of an allergy, lack of sleep, and stress from what I’ve heard.
It’s okay to not have much of a chin from your side profile, I think that sometimes I have that too.

I know it’s difficult but try to not be too hard on yourself. Ask God to help you focus on the beauty of being a child of God and maybe try and spend time with some friends who support you! I’ll pray for you!
 
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Sweating it out doing CrossFit beats feeling miserable and self conscious the rest of your life.
 
I no exactly what you mean. I think this about myself every morning. I’ve started saying the serenity prayer in the morning hoping it will help
 
I personally believe that everyone is pleasant to look at when they smile and are loving toward others. People are attracted to others who are genuinely caring and positive, even those who are not blessed with the clearest skin or facial symmetry.
 
I’m a plain Jane and I’ve realized in my 20s what a great advantage that has been. I smile and am pleasant to people and when I saw how they reacted to me, it told me a whole lot about who they are. There were guys that were pleasant back to me and there were guys that wouldn’t give me the time of day. Good information.

For example, if someone opened a door for me, it wasn’t because I was a pretty girl and they wanted my attention. They actually are kind to people. Big gold star for them. lol

I know a lady who worked with the public, which isn’t an easy job. Her friend was going through cancer and lost all her hair. At some point, Cancer Care had a fund raiser of shaving your head to raise money. Of course we heard about paramedics and such, firehouse #15, etc, all shaved their head. Well this lady did, and she had long hair. You know how slow hair grows?? Yet she had this courage, and love, to be moved to do this. No pretty scarves while she worked with the public either. That’s a special kind of someone.

This world really needs people to model for them that people have a dignity and worth because they are a human person.
 
Also, OP, I just want to be clear that I’m not suggesting you should start working out because you’re not fine as you are. As I said, you’re a worthwhile human being made in Gods image regardless. Your physical appearance isn’t the most important thing about you by far. I’m just saying that if your appearance is really bothering you, there are some concrete steps you could take to improve things. It’s up to you to determine how important it is to you.
 
My dad has a weak chin and keeps a beard. It really helps a lot, balances things out. Most people probably don’t even notice it with the beard. Just an idea you could try. Hey it may even pull attention away from your teeth as well if you are worried about that, and don’t want to go the Invisalign route! As others have said, there are things everyone can do to improve their appearance if they aren’t happy with how they look. And it is subjective, anyway. We all focus much more on our own faults than others do.
 
Not true. I am not going to say how old I am, but I am over 50 and got braces last year. I wish I had been able to do it even 10 years ago, but my kids braces came first. I feel so much happier with how my teeth look now.

Please, forget how old you are. So what if people look at you. Your teeth will be straight and theirs won’t.

Get them. It will change your whole perception of yourself.
 
“Ugly” and “Beautiful” are subjective.

What is important is to be a person who shines with Christ’s love foremost!

After that, be well groomed. Keep your hair tidy and styled, take care of your skin, your teeth, have good posture and make sure your clothes fit well. A well groomed person will always be more attractive.
 
I had a similar experience today. We took a group picture and I saw how ugly I looked. Really sucks and I guess it’s hard for average/good looking people to understand. I did grow up constantly being aware that I was different and wierd lol

I don’t have any advice tbh, just some empathy. Not everyone can be beautiful because then nobody would be beautiful. I guess we exist to enhance someone else’s beauty 🙂
 
Last edited:
Hi, I think I can understand the feeling of ugliness. Please let me share a bit of my story. When I first sat on my wheelchair, I was like: wow. How did I end up here? Why am I so ugly?
I had an ugly childhood. I was bullied during childhood and abused by teachers. I was spinned round and round and got a scar in my left knee (I still have it). I was beaten up so bad but I didn’t tell my mother. In my teen years, I got into depression, and I ended up falling into suicidal thoughts. I got into hospital admissions. I hated myself.

I thought I was alone. I spent days, weeks, sometimes months in the hospital.

Then, I met the Lord.

And then, the disability hit me. I got paralyzed. I thought to myself. What am I doing here? And the doctors couldn’t find the cause.
The doctors took 2 years to find that it was a possible mitochondrial disease. They still don’t know. They have no idea and they labelled me as “crazy”. I spent days in prayer and tears.

But you know… God loves you, and God loves you more than anything else. Mary loves you and she wants to surround you with Her mantle. Because you are beautiful and worthy of love. You are worthy of grace. You are worthy of strength and you can get through troubles and the waves that will hit you.

There will be difficulties but the Lord will not let this bother you. The Lord will be your shield and your guidance. He will be always be your loving shepherd. So don’t give up my friend. Stay strong. And follow Him and don’t lose control- and fix your gaze upon Him who loves you and who will love you eternally. <3 He will surround you with His loving arms. I know you are tired…but my friend. You are doing well. You fought well. And you will continue to fight well.
(and remember…if you need someone to talk to I’m here!)

Love you so much. Pax Christi.
 
Last edited:
The heart of the issue may be this: are Gods hands tied by your “ugliness”? Are you cursed or forgotten by him? No! THAT is the lie the devil would LOVE for you to believe. God hasn’t slighted you; he has it in for you to bless you. Beware of a sort of inverted pride, where you think of yourself too much, but in a negative way. Strive for humility, which is really a very “attractive” and natural self forgetfulness that people will really enjoy in you. God has both the capacity and the desire to very greatly bless you. Make yourself believe this, for it is true, and anything other than this is just a lie.
 
Last edited:
I would observe (gently) that focusing on one’s shortcomings is idolatry. I know because I do it too much myself. But recognizing it for what it is helps.
Anytime you make either your talents, appearance, lifestyle, or any of your shortcomings, the focus of your life good or bad, that puts God in second place. He doesn’t fit well in that slot.

God is good! You are good, just as he made you. Work on letting it go. It takes time be patient.
 
TheLittleLady said:
“Ugly” and “Beautiful” are subjective.

What is important is to be a person who shines with Christ’s love foremost!

After that, be well groomed. Keep your hair tidy and styled, take care of your skin, your teeth, have good posture and make sure your clothes fit well. A well groomed person will always be more attractive.
Click to expand...
In addition to these excellent suggestions, cultivate a more positive view of yourself. Even the most attractive person is greatly diminished by low self-esteem.

God made you in his image, yet you dishonor his creation with this overly negative description of yourself. Be thankful for what God has given you, and accentuate the positive. 🙂
 
Well I guess you are being straightforward and honest about how you see your appearance. Well God does not see you that way, you are His beloved child and if it is His will to give you a wife (I presume all this is about a woman) then He will give you one in His own time, but you must wait patiently and accept her as she will accept you. Looks mean nothing, just like wrapping paper on a gift, it’s just the outside, whats inside counts. I know that sounds trite especially if you have been waiting or are looking for a wife, but it is the truth and you know it. God will give you the very best at the very perfect time, if that is indeed the best for you. Have you discerned His will? If it is indeed marriage then He’ll give her to you no matter what. Trust in him. If single life is for you, so be it. Either way looks don’t matter. Try being the most loving kind and good generous person you can be, in other words, answer the call to holiness that Jesus has sent you… and then it will be like a light bulb, when you turn it on and the light of Christ shines out who see’s the glass anyway, so what does it matter what it looks like. Just shine as bright as you can for God and whatever He wants for you will happen. Ugliness is just what people see when they only looking with their eyes, when they look with the hearts God gave them they will see properly and those are the people you want to meet. I am sorry you hurt, let God heal you with His love and pour it out all over your neighbours. God bless you. I have a very big nose and somehow was teased about my huge eyes when I was a child- now I wish I’d said, umm dont you mean my big nose 😉
 
One thing you should definitely not do is get involved with any of the online “incel” groups. They are convinced that they are incurably ugly and will therefore never have relationships (or, more importantly to most of them, just sex), and their community has become a poisonous well of hatred and resentment toward anyone outside their group, with frequent fantasies (and a few actual cases) of horrific violence. Avoid them like the plague, even if they seem to “understand.”
 
YHWH_Christ said:
I just don’t understand why me?
Click to expand...
Why has my 20-something old cousin spent the peak years of her life as a cripple because of a rare genetic disease? Why do millions of random children go hungry every day? Why did so and so lose their job last week after working their butt off for decades?
We live in an imperfect world and we all have our crosses to bear. It doesn’t always make sense to us.

That being said, I do empathize and am hardly telling you to “suck it up”…just trying to put things in perspective. Lots of great advice on this thread.
 
I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

If we can associate “rich man” as to mean not just money but other wordly goods, such as athletic prowess, movie star looks etc. then we can see what Christ was perhpas warning us against. I have heard others (visionaries) state that they were made aware that they were who they were (attributes and detriments) for their own good. Such that they could attain eternal life.

Perhaps, if you were born with all your wonderful attributes that you now posses and add to that good looks, you may not have been able to handle it and still work to attain the Kingdom of Heaven. Perhaps the attribure of good looks may have led you to a sinful life.

It may be your best grace, your best gift from the Lord.

I’ve thought about this often.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top