Death cafe / Order of the Good death

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Loud-living-dogma

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Anyone here familiar with this movement?



It seems like an interesting secular movement to deal with death, perhaps better than many people do today, but I worry that it is or will be tied in with approval of euthanasia / assisted suicide in some way. Or is it part of the culture of death?
Thoughts? Anyone familiar with these, or similar groups?
 
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Yes, I think that dealing with death is a big reason that people seek out religion, so this is maybe attempting to fill a void for secular people.
 
It’s actually quite scary and evil to direct someone to accept death without providing a way to salvation and everlasting life. Its like the anti gospel.
 
I had a very interesting religion class in college that was about death and afterlife. I recall discussing “death cafes” in class one day. It was very intriguing, I forget the specifics, but I do think they’re open to people of all religious/non-religious backgrounds.

I take solace in my Catholic faith’s understanding of death, so I don’t need a discussion group; but, I do still find it interesting. There’s nothing wrong about having a discussion with people who hold different views. Plus, for a Catholic, it could be a unique opportunity to bring one’s own persective into the mix.
 
Because as we all know, hedonism and luxe will carry you through to the end. 😒
 
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Loud-living-dogma said:
It seems like an interesting secular movement to deal with death, perhaps better than many people do today, but I worry that it is or will be tied in with approval of euthanasia / assisted suicide in some way. Or is it part of the culture of death?
Thoughts? Anyone familiar with these, or similar groups?
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Their primary goal is to be able to have open, honest discussions about death in a culture that has made discussing death a taboo and tried to whitewash death. I’d say this is commendable. In a lot of ways, they’re reverting back to a middle-ages attitude (Momento mori, etc).
(Acceptance of death is best rooted in a proper Catholic understanding, but I digress…).

To my knowledge, the group is open to people of diverse religious/philosophical/political backgrounds, so members can hold differing viewpoints. As a result, I’m pretty sure they don’t have an official view on certain controversial issues such as assisted suicide. But I could be mistaken.

Honestly, I think there’s a lot of good here. We have a modern culture that is uncomfortable with death and even many Christians don’t like to talk about it or know how to handle it. Even in Catholic circles, how often do death, judgement, Heaven, hell, and purgatory get talked about? Of course on the flip side, one must avoid fetishizing or obsessing about death. But I think the group is on to something.
 
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I think a lot of people are very reluctant to talk about death. I too, think the Death Cafe is an interesting thing. I think it provides a place to talk for people that are religious, or not. It doesn’t seem to matter to them, they do not have an agenda to push. I am not sure I think it will try and get people to accept euthanasia, though I think they might discuss it if someone wants to.

“Death is a part of life,” we say in our family. It is not morbid. We have on many occasions, visited old cemeteries in our travels as a family, and it has never bothered any of us. We sometimes straighten flags or reposition fallen things that people have left for their loved ones, and have even weeded where needed at times.

I know other people that resist talking about death at all. They say things like “oh, you’re not going to die for a long time Dad, let’s talk about something else.” Meanwhile, their dad is 80+ years old. They don’t want to hear about funeral plans and won’t talk about their own death arrangements. As if speaking about it will make it happen somehow. 😉

Honestly, if there were a Death Cafe near me, I would go, out of curiosity. I would expect them to have “Death by Chocolate” cake available! :coffee:
 
As has been mentioned, there is something to be said for this, but without being oriented toward Christ, there’s not as much value as there could be and it is open to a lot of problems.

Here’s a better “order” of a good death:

https://www.piousunionofstjoseph.org/
Death and dying have always been a disturbing challenge to human beings. In founding the Pious Union of St. Joseph for the dying, Saint Louis Guanella has inspired continuous prayers to help all people on the point of crossing the threshold of eternal life.
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And here’s St. Robert Bellarmine’s Art of Dying Well:

http://www.saintsbooks.net/books/St. Robert Bellarmine - The Art of Dying Well.html

It is of course good to always remember the Four Last Things, to pray to spared from an unprovided death, and to pray for final perseverance.
 
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CTBcin said:
Honestly, I think there’s a lot of good here. We have a modern culture that is uncomfortable with death and even many Christians don’t like to talk about it or know how to handle it. Even in Catholic circles, how often do death, judgement, Heaven, hell, and purgatory get talked about? Of course on the flip side, one must avoid fetishizing or obsessing about death. But I think the group is on to something.
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I know someone who is involved in one of these kinds of groups and from what I’ve heard, they talk about a lot of practical things such as making a will and having an advanced healthcare directives with instructions about whether someone wants extensive measures to be taken to resuscitate them or keep them alive after a heart attack or some other catastrophic event or whether they want to be buried or cremated or have their body donated to science. It certainly makes it easier on the people who survive us if we make arrangement before we die and make our wishes known about what we want done.
 
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I’m not, but as I’ve said before on here I see no reason to have to read blogs, go to groups or anything else to discuss death, when it seems to be discussed at every other Mass I attend, in most prewritten prayers I say, and in many Catholic articles. It’s literally everywhere.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I’m not, but as I’ve said before on here I see no reason to have to read blogs, go to groups or anything else to discuss death, when it seems to be discussed at every other Mass I attend, in most prewritten prayers I say, and in many Catholic articles. It’s literally everywhere.
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But these groups are not just to discuss death but to discuss how to make preparations for death, especially legal and practical preparations, not just spiritual ones and not everyone knows how to do this or thinks of all the things that might need to be done. I doubt that these things are discussed at every other Mass.
 
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Thorolfr said:
but to discuss how to make preparations for death, especially legal and practical preparations,
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I can see why a funeral director would want to have such a group, for marketing purposes and because it’s probably less scary to get a whole bunch of people together over coffee and donuts to talk about their death prep than just expecting folks to come in off the street.

When I was in high school, I had to take a required religion course on “Death and Dying”. I remember it covered NDE’s, grief, and what happens at a funeral home. We took a field trip to the funeral home to see the room where you picked out coffins and made arrangements and stuff. It was a very handy course.

Since then, I have been through the funeral arrangements drill three times, and two of those times I had to do it all by myself for mom and husband. So I think I have earned my scout badge and can skip the meetings.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
When I was in high school, I had to take a required religion course on “Death and Dying”. I remember it covered NDE’s, grief, and what happens at a funeral home. We took a field trip to the funeral home to see the room where you picked out coffins and made arrangements and stuff. It was a very handy course.
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Very interesting! Did you go to a Catholic high school? I never had anything like this my (public) high school. It wasn’t until college that I had the opportunity to take a similar class.
 
Yes, it was a Catholic high school. This death course and another required course on “Marriage”, which in hindsight was also very good, were taught by a large, elderly no-nonsense Sister of St. Joseph who was built like a tank and commanded respect despite wearing lay clothes. I think the idea was to try to give us girls (it was an all-girls school) practical knowledge to cope with stuff we would have to be doing, such as getting married and burying people.
 
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There was a time when death happened in the home, when the dying process was recognizable to ordinary people, and post mortem care was given by family members.
Then it got whisked away to hospitals and institutions and people don’t know how to care for the dying anymore.

Most people are very goofy and uncomfortable around death.
 
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