C
Chantal25
Guest
First i welcome prayer but i also, i would like to see if you would proceed this way.
To make it as short as possible. I had problem with a co-worker (sexual harassment) for four years ( He also has authority over me in a sense). When i understood that i couldn’t get at him, i finally gave in and went to seek help to the director at the time. I didn’t want an investigation and wanted the whole thing settle peacefully. My hope was for him to leave me alone. This man doesn’t know what boundaries mean. I had a trauma when he followed me everywhere at my work place and refused to leave me alone. Now that i understand his obsession, i can no longer feel at ease with him. It would be like asking a women that has been rape to resume work with her aggressor. On that day, i was scared that he would cross the line again and attempt to pursue more sexual attempt. He looked at me, like i am a piece of meat and also would breath loud like he was having an orgasm. He does this when he gets excited. Now, even though he was told not to contact me, he tried anyway many attempts to test the ground and try to initiate a dialogue again with me. Short story, he even suggested that i resume to work with him in his laboratory and when this got to the attention of my team leader, i was asked by the director to resume work with him. I left on sick leave, an investigation took place. Sadly even though they were able to prove that he grabbed my leg twice, and he got reprimanded with this, i am still ask to resume to work with him. Without a doubt, i checked everything possible legally and nothing i can do about because they are following the process. The human ressource promise me to revise the policy so this doesn’t happen to someone else, so basically i had to comply and this is consider as one offense from his part even though i spent fours years on my own to try to get his sense. Without a doubt also, i have been looking for another job. There isn’t any job in my field or something that pay enough and they require more education, which i don’t have. I applied and not luck for interview. I would also had to work to 3-4 job full time to make up the salary that i make.
I am seeing a priest about this etc… Basically, i made the decision to try everything i can morally to resume to work with him. I have obligation to provide for my family and i am the only one that work. My daughter has special need and i need to provide also for her. Last fall, it leaded me into having nightmare and i left for three months without pay and living on my retirement savings. I cannot afford to do this again.
I know without a doubt also, if God wants to help me, he would have, so i need to trust that he knows what he is doing. In the mid time, i am weak, human and deeply scare (much better) but i am not sure if i can mentally do this, but i will have to do this. In about one months, i will have to go back in this laboratory. I haven’t spoke to him for near two years now and i managed to avoid him. I pray for courage and i do wish to do God’s will.
Financially, i know i need to keep my job. I think God knows that i have to bear that cross and i will have to find a way to do this.
Now, i will have to talk with him at some point to require question about the laboratory and also to make sure that he understand that he needs to leave me alone. I will use e-mail for this.
How should i compose my e-mail regarding boundaries? Is this a good idea.
I also consider to meet him with someone else but i cannot bare the thought to be near him or in the same room as him.
I was going to ask him to give me the information from e-mail and to make sure that he honors my time there and not to come. Knowing him, he probably will show up anyway.
I will have a recorder on me and i will let him know of this because i don’t want to catch him. I wish never to see him again.
I welcome prayer and good advice. Understand there isn’t any solution for me, it is either i go back to work with him or leave. It isn’t moral to do this but they legally can and i have no say. Clearly they were hoping for me to leave but they would have to put up with me because i am not going anywhere. I love my child far more then my own fear.
Thank you!
p.s Yes i have been praying for him and everyone etc… This is why, i know that God wants me to do this.
To make it as short as possible. I had problem with a co-worker (sexual harassment) for four years ( He also has authority over me in a sense). When i understood that i couldn’t get at him, i finally gave in and went to seek help to the director at the time. I didn’t want an investigation and wanted the whole thing settle peacefully. My hope was for him to leave me alone. This man doesn’t know what boundaries mean. I had a trauma when he followed me everywhere at my work place and refused to leave me alone. Now that i understand his obsession, i can no longer feel at ease with him. It would be like asking a women that has been rape to resume work with her aggressor. On that day, i was scared that he would cross the line again and attempt to pursue more sexual attempt. He looked at me, like i am a piece of meat and also would breath loud like he was having an orgasm. He does this when he gets excited. Now, even though he was told not to contact me, he tried anyway many attempts to test the ground and try to initiate a dialogue again with me. Short story, he even suggested that i resume to work with him in his laboratory and when this got to the attention of my team leader, i was asked by the director to resume work with him. I left on sick leave, an investigation took place. Sadly even though they were able to prove that he grabbed my leg twice, and he got reprimanded with this, i am still ask to resume to work with him. Without a doubt, i checked everything possible legally and nothing i can do about because they are following the process. The human ressource promise me to revise the policy so this doesn’t happen to someone else, so basically i had to comply and this is consider as one offense from his part even though i spent fours years on my own to try to get his sense. Without a doubt also, i have been looking for another job. There isn’t any job in my field or something that pay enough and they require more education, which i don’t have. I applied and not luck for interview. I would also had to work to 3-4 job full time to make up the salary that i make.
I am seeing a priest about this etc… Basically, i made the decision to try everything i can morally to resume to work with him. I have obligation to provide for my family and i am the only one that work. My daughter has special need and i need to provide also for her. Last fall, it leaded me into having nightmare and i left for three months without pay and living on my retirement savings. I cannot afford to do this again.
I know without a doubt also, if God wants to help me, he would have, so i need to trust that he knows what he is doing. In the mid time, i am weak, human and deeply scare (much better) but i am not sure if i can mentally do this, but i will have to do this. In about one months, i will have to go back in this laboratory. I haven’t spoke to him for near two years now and i managed to avoid him. I pray for courage and i do wish to do God’s will.
Financially, i know i need to keep my job. I think God knows that i have to bear that cross and i will have to find a way to do this.
Now, i will have to talk with him at some point to require question about the laboratory and also to make sure that he understand that he needs to leave me alone. I will use e-mail for this.
How should i compose my e-mail regarding boundaries? Is this a good idea.
I also consider to meet him with someone else but i cannot bare the thought to be near him or in the same room as him.
I was going to ask him to give me the information from e-mail and to make sure that he honors my time there and not to come. Knowing him, he probably will show up anyway.
I will have a recorder on me and i will let him know of this because i don’t want to catch him. I wish never to see him again.
I welcome prayer and good advice. Understand there isn’t any solution for me, it is either i go back to work with him or leave. It isn’t moral to do this but they legally can and i have no say. Clearly they were hoping for me to leave but they would have to put up with me because i am not going anywhere. I love my child far more then my own fear.
Thank you!
p.s Yes i have been praying for him and everyone etc… This is why, i know that God wants me to do this.
She was having terrible anxiety and mental heatlh issues as a result of the rape. She has recently just completed councelling and she has now found the confidence and strength that she lost. She had a psychiatrist and also the councelling. By far the biggest sucess she had was with councelling.