Deep anxiety regarding work

  • Thread starter Thread starter Chantal25
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Hi Chantal, I’m really sorry about this. I don’t know if I would be able to give some other advice aside from what the posters have already said, but I want to let you know that I am praying hard for you and your protection. I pray that that man would be out of your life forever, perhaps through a transfer or something. I also pray that his actions come to light and that he won’t be able to do this to anyone else. Try praying a Divine Mercy chaplet for his conversion and for him to stop bothering you, and to talk to his guardian angel. May the most Precious Blood of Jesus always cover you and protect you from all harm and mishaps.
 
You need to see an employment law attorney. The consultation will be free. Your case is that the work environment is too hostile for a reasonable person to tolerate. You’ve approached management and they have failed to rectify the situation. This man has authority over you. You’ve asked him to stop. Seems like a no-brainer - your damages are that you were forced to quit working. An attorney will be honest with you regarding whether or not you have a case. If you do, procede with litigation. If you don’t, then re-examine the situation and leave if you can’t tolerate it.
 
fin said:
Hi Chantal, I’m really sorry about this. I don’t know if I would be able to give some other advice aside from what the posters have already said, but I want to let you know that I am praying hard for you and your protection. I pray that that man would be out of your life forever, perhaps through a transfer or something. I also pray that his actions come to light and that he won’t be able to do this to anyone else. Try praying a Divine Mercy chaplet for his conversion and for him to stop bothering you, and to talk to his guardian angel. May the most Precious Blood of Jesus always cover you and protect you from all harm and mishaps.
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Wow, so funny you found my post. Thank you, at this point, this is what i need the most prayer. I am doing the divine mercy right now and the novena. I have been praying for him.

I had a plan that i thought could work but he is making a fuss and insist that i resume cold turkey with him in the laboratory. I am so anxious about this. This week i will have a meeting with him, my team leader and HR. It is sad, but it will be me against all of them. HR has expressed their opinion except for our Human Right which sympathize with me.

I haven’t spoke to him for two years now and he still give me chill. He doesn’t start work until lunch time, my plan was for me to go in the laboratory in the morning but i need prayer for this to be granted to me. My team leader thought it was a great idea and a step in the right direction but now with this Man making it a fuss to want me full time with him, my team leader seem to think again it is a great idea. Good grace, it is so difficult to deal with right brain people. Compassion is seems to be a weakness to them.

Anyway, thank you for your prayer
 
JackieMom said:
You need to see an employment law attorney. The consultation will be free. Your case is that the work environment is too hostile for a reasonable person to tolerate. You’ve approached management and they have failed to rectify the situation. This man has authority over you. You’ve asked him to stop. Seems like a no-brainer - your damages are that you were forced to quit working. An attorney will be honest with you regarding whether or not you have a case. If you do, procede with litigation. If you don’t, then re-examine the situation and leave if you can’t tolerate it.
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You are right about this man. Sadly, i have already checked all the avenues and everything possible including consulting with a lawyer. Since the work place followed the harassment policy, they are in title to ask me to resume work. The good news, is that the personal that are in charge of this policy, are acknowledging majors flaws. Nothing is written for extreme case as me and also that it cannot be up to the top management to decide of the faith of the victim since if they can make decision that aren’t human. So my experience, will help others. I pray that this never happen to anyone.

In the mid time, i can only rely on prayer and keep my head up above the water.

I will have an arbitrary meeting this week and i pray God to help me.
 
Good luck!

The fact that he keeps trying to get you working with him is a pretty clear sign that he is not moving on.

May I suggest the book “The Gift of Fear”? I think you may be in serious danger, and your company is endangering you by keeping you close to this guy. If it comes to it, leave this place and don’t look back (except to sue)–your safety is in jeopardy.
 
What does your lawyer say about getting a restraining order? I know that it’s just a piece of paper and can’t protect you from physical harm if the guy if he has evil intent, but it may be able to force your company to accommodate you. Either 1) they accommodate you or 2) they fire you for doing it, and then you have a pretty air-tight legal case against them. (There are probably some other options, but those two seem the most likely to me.)

I don’t think you should give up this job without a fight, but I also think you can do better.
 
I pray that this will never happen again and he will behave but if he crossed the line again, this time, it is the police that i will call.

I did consider to just quit and get all the jobs i could to provide for my family. The other problem is that financially, i am like a single mom, if i lose this job, this is it for us. My priest suggested that i hold on, so i will just go by faith at this point and trust God that he knows what he is doing.

In the mid time, i welcome prayer

Thank you!
 
Chantal25 said:
You are right about this man. Sadly, i have already checked all the avenues and everything possible including consulting with a lawyer. Since the work place followed the harassment policy, they are in title to ask me to resume work. The good news, is that the personal that are in charge of this policy, are acknowledging majors flaws. Nothing is written for extreme case as me and also that it cannot be up to the top management to decide of the faith of the victim since if they can make decision that aren’t human. So my experience, will help others. I pray that this never happen to anyone.

In the mid time, i can only rely on prayer and keep my head up above the water.

I will have an arbitrary meeting this week and i pray God to help me.
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It does not matter what their policy is, or if they followed it, if what they allowed violates state law. And sexual harassment is illegal in all 50 states. Get a good attorney! If you were harassed and did not recieve total rectification of the situation once you told your supervisor, you CAN sue. It seems the issue was ongoing even after you complained. Get an attorney. Sometimes even one letter from a lawyer is all the place of employment needs to make your life better (because they are afraid you will sue.) My husband does just this very thing for a living. If an attorney has told you that there are no damages, either you were not actually harassed per the legal definition, or the attorney is a loon.
 
I would have think so, but i found out the hard way that it goes by harassment policy. The policy was followed and nothing can be done.

I also contacted the Federal Human Right and sadly nothing can be done either. I contacted also the federal court law, my M.P. anything or anyone that could have influence. Since an investigation was done and he got discipline, our policy allowed our leader or director general at the time, to decide of my fate and the fate of this man. He is a valuable person and i am not. I don’t live in the US, take my word, i tried everything humanly possible. I am toast and this is: i take it or leave it. They were probably hoping i would leave but i cannot, i have a child.

Anyway, they haven’t make a mistake except of not keeping their word but it wasn’t written and we since then changed our structure with new management (same people but different title).

You need money to sue, i don’t have. The lawyer told me that i wouldn’t win.

Blessings!
 
Chantal25 said:
I would have think so, but i found out the hard way that it goes by harassment policy. The policy was followed and nothing can be done.

I also contacted the Federal Human Right and sadly nothing can be done either. I contacted also the federal court law, my M.P. anything or anyone that could have influence. Since an investigation was done and he got discipline, our policy allowed our leader or director general at the time, to decide of my fate and the fate of this man. He is a valuable person and i am not. I don’t live in the US, take my word, i tried everything humanly possible. I am toast and this is: i take it or leave it. They were probably hoping i would leave but i cannot, i have a child.

Anyway, they haven’t make a mistake except of not keeping their word but it wasn’t written and we since then changed our structure with new management (same people but different title).

You need money to sue, i don’t have. The lawyer told me that i wouldn’t win.

Blessings!
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Oh, I didn’t realize you were not in the US. What a shame - here, that type of attorney works on contingency (you don’t usually pay hourly up front, the attorney just gets a portion if your recovery.) I will pray for your situation!
 
JackieMom said:
Oh, I didn’t realize you were not in the US. What a shame - here, that type of attorney works on contingency (you don’t usually pay hourly up front, the attorney just gets a portion if your recovery.) I will pray for your situation!
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Thank you, i need prayer.

I was promised that i could resume to work with him by step. Now, it seems that i will be asked to go to work with him as per his request. Again, they aren’t honoring their words and nothing is written. I am not keen to resume work cold turkey with this man but i hope i will make my point on our arbitrary meeting. I so need prayer.

Blessing and love!
 
Your not being in the US changes the situation a lot. A lot of the good advice you’ve gotten is most true for the US context, unfortunately.

I mentioned your situation to my husband, and he mentioned that a lot of larger companies or non-profits have a risk management office. This guy is exactly the sort of person that risk management offices are concerned about. I wonder if there is some analogous office in your organization?

The positive side of your not being in the US is that you may have more job security. Protect yourself, refuse assignments that put you in his vicinity (and certainly avoid any time alone with him at all), speak up for yourself, don’t interact with him, and document, document, document. Research successful sexual harassment cases in your country and share your findings with your superiors. Be looking for a better job. Don’t leave except for a better position. Make them fire you.
 
This may nuke your career in your profession, but you do have yet another avenue for recourse, namely the threat of publicity. When you have used up all other options, it will be time to go to the media. No matter what country you are living in, your organization doesn’t want to be featured in the media, so that whenever anybody googles them, they’ll turn up articles about how XYZ organization sheltered and enabled a pervert.

This is very risky, but I think your current situation is risky, too. Your organization is sacrificing you to this pervert.
 
You are such a great help and support.

I work for the Government, so trust me, they aren’t doing anything illegal, i just have been out of lock. My team leader is the one that caused this whole mess. He is a very well respected man and what ever he said, people respect him. Originally, everything was resolved peacefully and the director General gave me choices. I choose to work in another laboratory. While i was waiting for my team leader to assign me, this man requested that i go do a unit in his laboratory. Sadly when it got to the attention of my team leader, i was asked to resume to work with him. Now, when i went to see my union, an investigation was demanded by the time, it was over, a new change in my institute that no longer exist is under another management, the new leader is friend with my team leader and also require that i resume also work with him. I am trying, so trying because i don’t want to lose my job. If this man would have respected my boundaries, i could tell myself, finally, he got the message now, he cannot even accept what i was granted and do this by step. He wants me now in his laboratory like nothing happened. On the other hand, i know how many struggle so much to find a job and they would be thrill to be in my situation if they could work.

I will have to trust God and my priest.

Thank you again!
 
skigirl1689 said:
I am so sorry this is happening to you! Have you discussed this with a legal expert outside of the company? I just say this because the company may be trying to protect him for fear of a lawsuit. I have a tough time believing there is nothing you can do as he is obviously harassing you. You should not have to deal with this!
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100% agreed! Companies can be really sneaky about these kinds of situations.
 
Chantal: Have you informed your Union about the meeting and asked to have a representative accompany you - even a local rep. such as a shop steward? It would be better for you to have some support and a witness. You can tell the union rep that you want a written record of whatever is agreed before returning to work.
 
You don’t say whether you will be alone in a room with him.
Can you keep the door open, and if he approaches you, be very assertive, yell “Don’t touch me!” or “Stop that!”
Make it embarrassing for him and obvious.
 
“Make it embarrassing for him and obvious.”

Yes. Your program is doing this to you because it’s easier for them. Make it hard.
 
jazzy0710 said:
100% agreed! Companies can be really sneaky about these kinds of situations.
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Yes, they are, but again, they are very well educated and well informed. I am too, i had my Minister in my area involved and again, he wrote letter to their boss and also got me in contact with a high position woman. They checked everything and it is sadly perfect fine what they are doing. Before i had my meeting with the last leader, i saw him in the office of the Humane Resource. Not long after this person got a promotion. It is all legal, but i think i cannot approach this from human perspective now. I have praying for them, believe it or not, i don’t feel so much anxiety as i used to and know i am not alone anyway (God).
 
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