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Annunciata
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You’re right on the mark, Gilliam!!
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Timidity
Guest
One does not heal by ignoring the wound.
Talking is good.
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Annunciata
Guest
Yes, I agree that talking is good, but it keeps the wound festering…
Sometimes it’s just better to be quiet after all is said and done.
I know for many this will never be possible…and I know many who will never come forward and would rather that the whole thing now it has come to light of day would just go away and let the Church HEAL!!!
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Timidity
Guest
It’s a debridement process. It hurts, but it’s necessary to prevent the festering!
Actually, I think different people just heal differently.
But I would say that a sign of healing is the ability to talk about something without it bothering you anymore.
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Kevin_Walker
Guest
Yes we need to pray, and as my Franciscan Friar scolded me, we need to pray for those monsters also, hate the sin and not the sinner.Well Kevin, I see that you are a nice Boston boy and It just pains me to see more of this stuff being rubbed into the Church…especially by one of our own… I know some of these monsters and I know some who were abused by them…I just don’t see why you think it’s a good thing to talk about it any further…
WE NEED TO PRAY!!!
Bless you,
Annunciata
p.s. I’m from MA too…
BUT we need not forget, or sweep it under the rug. We must study it and learn from it, and these posts help in that process!
p.s. Whereabouts in MA are you from?
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rayne89
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Wow, I wonder how that would sound to an abuse victim? Actually I don’t have to wonder. I don’t know anyone abuse by a priest but I do have 3 friends who suffered sexual abuse by a family member and you know what the typical response is: Let’s pretend it never happened. Let’s not talk about. One friend was abuse by an older brother, as were two of her sisters. Parent’s sent him to confession and that was the end of it. Another family blamed the victim and the 3rd blamed it on drinking blackouts over a 4 year period (which was a lie because the abuser was not drunk) and they no longer speak of it.
We all hate that this happened, we all hate that it went on unreported for so long. We all hate the attacks on the church and our good priests because of it. But the reality is that it did happen, to somebody’s innocent child. To a young person who had trust in his/her priest. Can you imagine what it would do to the faith of someone abused?
The Church is has the protection God. “The gates of hell will not prevail against it.” We have nothing to fear by speaking of the truth of these things. Victims need healing, and they can’t do that if we all pretend they don’t exist. They need validation, they need to be heard and yes they need our prayers most of all.
I know there have been false accusations, attacks by people with an ax to grind against the church. But there are victims and it is wrong because of our own embarressment and distress over the situation to push these people out of sight so we don’t have to think about it anymore.
I know what the consequences of sexual abuse are on the victim because I’ve seen it with my own friends. Severe depression, attemps at suicide, anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, drug use, inability to enjoy intimacy with a spouse, inability to trust, extreme social anxiety the list goes on.
We need to face what evil satan has brought into our church, and be there with support and understanding for the victims. The secular world is the one that pretends there is no evil. We are called to battle it.
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Annunciata
Guest
Gee Ray…you make it sound like I want to sweep it under the rug or that I don’t have any idea of what I am talking about! Did you bother to read my other posts! I’m more familiar w/ this awful thing in the Church than I care to say publicly…but trust me I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!! That said, I just think that we have gone over and over this thing so much that it just doesn’t even allow healing to take place…But, then I don’t know what I’m talking about according to your post it would sound like you think I don’t care or have any sympathy or, empathy…
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Annunciata
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Kevin Walker:
BTW, I live in Central MA
Annunciata
I’m not saying not to discuss the issue…say if someone were to come here on the forum asking help or advice…that’s fine…I just think that the Church is suffering enough without smearing Her mess all over Her face as it were…
BTW, I live in Central MA
Annunciata
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Kevin_Walker
Guest
You have an interesting viewpoint. Because that is not the way I see it at all. The Church has nothing to be ashamed of because homosexuals have infiltrated the Church under false pretenses, allowed themselves to be ordained in deceit, and kept up a lie for a number of years while they go about the ‘REAL’ reason they became priests.
The Catholic Church has infallible doctrine, its management skills are what is the problem. It is the weakness of the Church’s management which allowed these homosexual priests to continue within each Diocese, not Church doctrine.
Yet the semanaries are still rife with homosexuality as I’ve been told recently by a semarian here in Boston who had to be transferred out of one semanary into another because he protested the ‘Gay’ atmosphere.
There are still quite a bit of homosexuality within the Church, and I would simply like to see the Vatican clean house.
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Annunciata
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Kevin Walker:
My point is the way Men in the Church handled things not our beautiful Holy Mother Church…I love Her dearly and will defend Her and Her teachings till the death!!!
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Timidity
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siamesecat
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Kevin Walker:
Homosexual does not equal pedophile. These men may have been homosexuals, but they are also pedophiles, which is something far worse and far different. There are plenty of homosexuals that would never molest a child just as their are straight priests who have molested women (there was a story published recently in the boston globe). Just a theory, but I think many of these men were not necessarily gay, but were just sick and twisted and had developed a perversion. They were not turned on by other men, but by defenseless boys. I think it was more of a control/dominance issue than a sexual preference issue. This is an act of rape, not an act of consensual homosexual behavior.
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rayne89
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But apparently Kevin has personal knowledge too and you accuse him of spreading gossip. *Gee Kevin…why don’t you start another thread on this subject and spew a little more gossip??? *It’s a news story not a gossip colunm or editorial piece.Gee Ray…you make it sound like I want to sweep it under the rug or that I don’t have any idea of what I am talking about! Did you bother to read my other posts! I’m more familiar w/ this awful thing in the Church than I care to say publicly…but trust me I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!! That said, I just think that we have gone over and over this thing so much that it just doesn’t even allow healing to take place…But, then I don’t know what I’m talking about according to your post it would sound like you think I don’t care or have any sympathy or, empathy…
You obviously have personal feelings on the subject that differ very much from Kevin’s, and my own for that matter. In my experince healing comes from openess not “being quiet”. I’m sure there are some that feel that they have to relive their nightmare with every news article. But others need it out there, they need to be validated. They have been silent for so long they need it to be acknowledged. As many times as it takes for them to feel heard.
All my friends who were abused (by family) have in one way or another been told it’s over now, why are you dwelling on it, you need to move on. But it’s never over for any of them. They all have gone on to live their lives, have families, and do the best that they can but they don’t “get over it”, none of them have completely healed. I’m not even sure if that’s possible for sexual abuse victims. I’m going by my own experience, that is all I can speak from.
Maybe I sounded harsh that wasn’t my intent. But my feelings on the matter are what they are, and feel very strongly about it. Obviously we disagree.
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NightRider
Guest
Amen. This needed to be pointed out here. There is a huge difference between “homosexual” and “pedophile.” And especially the difference between acts of rape and acts of consensual homosexual behavior. Thank you for posting this and showing the distinctions. God bless you!
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Kevin_Walker
Guest
That’s a basic disagreement. It is my opinion that Pedophile and Pedorast are both horns on the same homosexual devil.
Pedophile falls under the aegis of Homosexuality. And homosexuality is not a preference, it is a mental health disorder; in fact, the Vatican’s official view is that homosexuality is “Objectively disordered”. The St. Luke’s Institute is the Church’s private psychiatric service used to treat mental health problems including homosexuality.
Homosexuals lie to become priests as a false front to gain access to an all-male environment to have exposure to males of any age, and not to dedicate themselves to the greater glory of God. Paul Shanley actually blamed his boy victims for enticing him into abuse; saw little boys as objects or things for his pleasure; and refused to accept that he did anything wrong, demonstrating the typical rationalization of a homosexual.
So I believe that pedophilia is part of what it is to be homosexual, and to knowingly allow homosexuals in the Priesthood is to allow potential abuse situations to occur all over again in the future.
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Annunciata
Guest
Ray,
I had just come off another of Kevin’s Threads
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=39792
and didn’t realize that perhaps you hadn’t read what I had already posted…(my experiences, etc.) Mea Culpa…
That’s why I was so cynical about this thread…more of the same.
Just for the record, my heart goes out to ANYONE who has been abused in any way. Though I have not been, one of my dearest friends was sexually abused by a family member and she suffers greatly for it. As for knowlege of abuses by priests read my other posts…
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Franze
Guest
If the seminaries don´t have more discipline in the candidates and remove seminarians, professor etc that are gay, we are very bad, and having a strong discipline, there aren´t discipline, other chirstians like protestants have this problem, but this isn´t the question, we have to ask for the church much more, much more efforts to clean the seminaries of pederastians and other bad people, we have to be coherents, and the scandal isn´t good for the church, I want to merry to Kevin for putting this thread, we have to accept this challenge, and win it, not to hide us, greetings
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