Dale, thanks for pointing out the other conversation, to which I also contributed and will paste below my comments (and add some others) in response to #24 on this thread, with which I agree, and to #31, with which I disagree:
-Catholic schools hold that the parents/family of the student is for all practical purposes an extension of the school; they expect parents to be involved (and take responsibility) more intensely, regularly, than is expected (or could be ever be enforced) in publics. The corollary of the that is that the school expects to support the family. There is a kind of two-way accountability. Thus, the school would naturally see the lesbian situation as contrary, problematic to that mutuality.
-Parents or guardians enrolling children must agree to the moral teachings which will be presented, as a condition of enrollment. Those moral teachings include Catholic teachings on sexuality, which is directly opposed to the lifestyle being lived by the lesbians. Now, technically, Catholic heterosexual parents associated with that school could be teaching principles which are also contradictory to what their children are being taught at that school, but with a lesbian couple, the school would know for a fact that there is a lifestyle being “taught” (modeled) which is directly opposed to the school’s curriculum content.
-Catholic institutions (not just schools) are conscious of the possibility of scandal to students and to other parents, and to a contradictory message sent as a religious institution imparting specific precepts. In that sense also, the enrollment in the first place could be considered a cause for scandal. That is on a different plane than the possible situation of divorced/remarried parents in the school, because that contradiction with Catholic teaching may not even be known beyond the couple, and probably wouldn’t be known to all the school.
Catholic institutions other than schools do employ openly gay people (such as in diocesan offices) and do support domestic partner benefits, such as bereavement leave, etc. But those are not institutions witnessing to the cohesion of family life as an institution, which Catholic schools are.
I would not try to seek acceptance for myself or my lifestyle if I were gay, within the confines of a Catholic institution – and certainly not in a school setting. It is problematic on its face. If I wanted acceptance on equal terms, in every way, I would join a different church, or I would renounce any active practice of that lifestyle, should I want to remain a member in good standing in the Church, without controversy. (Thus, it would require one to live as celibate, not to cohabit with a partner of romantic interest, and certainly not to create a formal partnership such as “parenthood”/guardianship of children.) Everything is problematic, in that even the terminology conflicts with Catholic principles. It puts both the couple and the Church in an impossible position given that the institution does not accept dual “motherhood” of one child, while two lesbian guardians of one child maintain that both wish to be called “mother.”
I have taught in Catholic and public schools, attended both kinds, and sent my children to Catholic schools. There is no comparison between the significance and visibility of family units in the Catholic setting vs. the public setting (and the private secular setting). Of course that works in a positive way, also, in a Catholic school, should there be a crisis in the family – even a minor one. Generally the whole community (church and school) is urged to, and does, pull together to assist the family during a time of traumatic news, tragic event, extended illness, physical disaster, financial crisis, etc. So merely the fact that the Church does not recognize two lesbians as being family to the child – whatever the civil authorities recognize or society informally at large recognizes – is an insoluble problem in light of Catholic education’s stated mission and practical operation.
Bottom line: the diocese did the right thing; the lesbian couple did the wrong thing.