Immaterial in this case. The OP is a confirmed Catholic who is only struggling to return to a state of Grace and therefore full communion with the church. He is not a catechumen and is required to attend mass on all Sundays and other Holy Days of Obligation.I will amend that last reply by adding that unless you are in full communion with the Church you are actually not required to attend mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. You are expected to but if you read the catechism, not required. As in if you do not there is no sin. Once again you may praise Vatican 2
Thanks you are 100% right I have been researching this for 2 years. Plus why wouldn’t I want to be there Jesus christ is present at a higher level in the Eucharist I just don’t receive it.Immaterial in this case. The OP is a confirmed Catholic who is only struggling to return to a state of Grace and therefore full communion with the church. He is not a catechumen and is required to attend mass on all Sundays and other Holy Days of Obligation.
It does not have to be about using sex as a weapon it could be about having to choose between receiving Our Lord in the sacrament or not. If I had to choose between no sex and the Eucharist, the Eucharist would win.I can’t recommend against this strongly enough. Sex should never, ever be used as a weapon, not even in a “hypothetical” discussion.
I can assure you that if my spouse said anything along the lines of: “It’s clear you have an issue with me becoming Catholic but until you give me what I want and go through a ceremony of a religion that you are against there will be no sex” to me suddenly religious differences would be the very least of our problems.
Did everyone miss this part?…2) right after i was confirmed my parents left the church and convinced me to also…
Perhaps I got it wrong and will ask my formation instructor in the a.m. However O am fairly certain that even after completing the order of the catechumenate and becoming confirmed; should the parishioner/lay member fall out of grace due to ethical issues or under great emotional duress, a period of absence can be excused. It also does not clearly state how long that period can be. With the sacrament of reconciliation all of his problems sacramentally would be solved. I’ve had to study canon law here at the seminary and what he committed was a grave or mortal sin assuming he met all three criteria but can recieve sacramental absolution followed by the Eaucharist and any other Saraments that you may have need for. Therefor at THAT point he would be in full communion with the Church. His wife not having gone through RCIA would also be permitted a “get out of jail free” card if you will. As in she was not instructed in canon or catholic teaching therefore what she did prior to conversion is not held against her. UNLESS you choose radical sanation. In which case it is assumed that you both have made steadfast decisions…Thanks you are 100% right I have been researching this for 2 years. Plus why wouldn’t I want to be there Jesus christ is present at a higher level in the Eucharist I just don’t receive it.
As I told a neighbor I would rather be in the church with valid sacraments not recieving them than in a church with only baptism as a sacrament that you can only get once (eph 4:5). And I got my one and only when I was 8 days old.
And what kind of choice does the OP’s wife have? She can either give in to the OP’s demand that she participate in a ritual of a religion she wants no part of, or she can forget about having sex with her husband. Not much of a choice. (Although…if the OP is dumb enough to give his wife this ultimatum, I suspect that having sex with him is something the wife will soon lose interest in.)If I had to choose between no sex and the Eucharist, the Eucharist would win.
First of all…Was I not clear enough that I was NOT advising the OP to take any such course?I can’t recommend against this strongly enough. Sex should never, ever be used as a weapon, not even in a “hypothetical” discussion.
I can assure you that if my spouse said anything along the lines of: “It’s clear you have an issue with me becoming Catholic but until you give me what I want and go through a ceremony of a religion that you are against there will be no sex” to me suddenly religious differences would be the very least of our problems.
Fourth Option…one which I hope the OP does not have to deal with: His wife, realizing that her husband has reverted to a religion she wants nothing to do with, and in doing so has given her the choice of either going along or going without sex, can divorce him and try again to do what she thought she had already done - marry a baptist.There are two possible options - ways for him to do this with honesty and integrity. They can have their marriage blessed by the Church…Something she is hesitant to do
OR
He can stop having sexual relations with a woman that, in the eyes of the Church, he is not married to.
These are the two direct courses of action currently open to them.
The third option…is for him to continue as he is and keep trying to talk to his wife so that hopefully - in X number of years, they can overcome whatever her fear/concern is with the Catholic Church and she might agree to the ceremony.
I agree I hope that it does not come to this.Fourth Option…one which I hope the OP does not have to deal with: His wife, realizing that her husband has reverted to a religion she wants nothing to do with, and in doing so has given her the choice of either going along or going without sex, can divorce him and try again to do what she thought she had already done - marry a baptist.
Well a couple of things. I think it would never come to this. I think there will be a solution arrived if the OP seeks out the right channels. This is quite similar to a situation of a divorced and remarried catholic who did not receive an annulment.And what kind of choice does the OP’s wife have? She can either give in to the OP’s demand that she participate in a ritual of a religion she wants no part of, or she can forget about having sex with her husband. Not much of a choice. (Although…if the OP is dumb enough to give his wife this ultimatum, I suspect that having sex with him is something the wife will soon lose interest in.)
Thank you for coming back and sharing some more information. I’m afraid that some of our posts (mine included) may have been starting to get a bit harsh on her.We have been to Counciling, the catholic councilor was awful all she said was how do we feel and we should be nice to each other
She agreed to go and we probably went together 20 times and made lots of progress the councilors name is Barney Armstrong. He graduated from Stanford and has a number of other degrees. He is from the assemblies of god and four square back ground but reads early church fathers, Scott hahn and francis Schafer jr. I would strongly recommend this man for Catholics. He acts catholic in theology but still attending a Protestant church, or at least conservative and understands the bible and early Christianity very well
We made a lot of progress but she will not go back. My wife doesn’t like authority
The tribunal said that she would be asked the following questions for our marriage to be recognized and that is all she has to do and she won’t
1- were you forced to marry against your will
2- do you plan on this marriage being preeminent
3- is this your only marriage
My wife is really a wonderful person she cares for our children and anyone in need always. I think her Irish grandmother is praying the rosary for her in heaven
I can totally understand your thinking here…speaking as you are from the perspective of the present which is about all we can do…I may be able to offer perspective here. I will be marrying a baptized Catholic outside of the church in just a few months, although we are both atheists. It will be an invalid marriage.
I would not go through a convalidation. I would not cooperate in any way. The desire alone to do that would cause a huge problem in our marriage. Threatening to withhold sex would probably end it.
FH and I are in love, planning our life, getting married in front of all of our friends and family. Not only did we write our own vows we wrote the whole ceremony. We have both made it clear that this is what we want more than anything. If we went through with this and he came to me several years later saying that he needed to make our marriage “real” and have it recognized by the “right” people I would feel like he was cheapening everything we said, everything we went through, and the vows that we had lived out for the last 10 years. Nope, I would probably suggest to him that if he feels like our marriage isn’t right or “valid” that we need to see a marriage counselor.
If he told me that he would be choosing the Eucharist over being a husband to me as much as it would tear my heart and our lives in to pieces I think that it would be best for me to know that I wasn’t his first priority and that he found something he loves more. Yeah, we would probably get a divorce.
You do not sound strange. Such things are quite possible.What is really holding her back is …
I dont want to sound stange I have never had anything happen happen like I am going to state below and didn’t believe in miracles before the below happened. and I am really not very emotional
- before my wife was born her deceased mother grew up in a catholic parish of less than 100 in a poor rural area and and a major issue with how a priest treated her. it was so bad she moved thousands of miles away and left her family including 14 siblings who remained
I was in the room with my mother in law when she died as she was laying there the second the machines stopped in the hospital. I felt a pressure on my chest and her a voice say
" you are all the family has to lead them"
We never went to church because “we were saved”. And never read the bible because our work was done. And that all changed with my actions after my mother in laws death.
With in a year I was asked not to join in the “non-denominational” bible studies because my ideas were “not biblical”. Which I later found out meant to Lutheran or catholic