Despair in Catholicism

[Alainval]

Hey everyone, I’m currently a Protestant but I was looking into the theology of Roman Catholicism and I just need to know how Roman Catholics can live at peace. This is an honest question as someone who sincerely wants to know the answer. If I sound like a bigot forgive me it’s not how I want to sound like. I’m worried that if I become Catholic I will end up in mild despair thinking I won’t be saved. I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace? It seems burdensome and hurtful to people like me. By that I mean that I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin. At times I fear I’ve committed sin when I haven’t and I worry about it. But essentially, how can Roman Catholics live one day of peace when one day you can be a child of God and the next day a child of Satan simply for the commission of one mortal sin. Don’t we all sin? Don’t we all lust, have prideful thoughts, covet, etc? How can a poor tormented conscience find peace in that? Thank you for bearing with me and reading this.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Realize that for sin to be mortal it has to meet three standards:

It has to be grave (serious)

You have to know it is gravely sinful

You do it on purpose

One cannot “accidentally” be in mortal sin. Mortal sin is a conscious rejection of Christ.

I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace?

If you commit mortal sin, you are done unless you repent of that sin. Penance is separate from the forgivness of sin.

Forgiveness of venial sins (things that you did not know were sinful, things you did without intention, things that are minor) are forgiven when we go to Mass and say the “Confetior” (I confess), they are forgiven when we use Holy Water, there are many simple ways to remove venial sin. Most of the sins we commit are venial.

Speak to a priest, know that God is forgiveness and hope.

 

[John10]

My peace comes from knowing that the only Church instituted by Christ Himself is the Catholic Church.

We under estimate the damage that mortal sin does, because it seems “nothing” happens, however the consequences are really terrible, it is in fact the worst thing that can possibly happen to you, if you end up being condemned to Hell.

Having said that, we trust in the Lord to help us and forgive us when we fall, and we strive to do what we can to avoid sinning, specially mortal sin, however there is a sacrament to help us remain strong. Confession, that is another huge blessing from the Catholic Church.

If I had only to rely on myself I would be done, however learning to trust our Lord is very important to ensure you can become a better Christian.

 

[Alainval]

I realize that there are certain criteria that a certain sin needs to meet in order for it to be mortal. For one, it has to be a grave sin. Is it alright if I give an example? Since gluttony is generally thought of as one of the deadly sins then surely it is logical to conclude that the commission of that sin would be mortal since it’s a grave matter. Now the issue with the sensitive conscience is that they worry if just one more bite of that pizza will constitute the commission of gluttony. Thus, the conscience is tormented and in anxiety of not making it to penance the next day and they fear that they will die before then and since they’ve cut themselves from God’s grace by mortal sin they may end up in hell. How can that bring comfort? Forgive me for annoying you about this but it’s something personal for me.

 

[whichwaytogo47]

Hey everyone, I’m currently a Protestant but I was looking into the theology of Roman Catholicism and I just need to know how Roman Catholics can live at peace. This is an honest question as someone who sincerely wants to know the answer. If I sound like a bigot forgive me it’s not how I want to sound like. I’m worried that if I become Catholic I will end up in mild despair thinking I won’t be saved. I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace? It seems burdensome and hurtful to people like me. By that I mean that I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin. At times I fear I’ve committed sin when I haven’t and I worry about it. But essentially, how can Roman Catholics live one day of peace when one day you can be a child of God and the next day a child of Satan simply for the commission of one mortal sin. Don’t we all sin? Don’t we all lust, have prideful thoughts, covet, etc? How can a poor tormented conscience find peace in that? Thank you for bearing with me and reading this.

We are all saved by grace. It’s a grace to persevere to the end. But the sins of the flesh can be terrifying as we don’t know how we might sin in the future and may struggle to know when our thoughts are mortally sinful even without their actions and when those thoughts are our own or in reaction to temptation but that of the devil. We all have crosses, maybe we gossip, maybe we complain, maybe we lust, maybe we steal, maybe we judge, maybe we envy, maybe we fail to rest, maybe we doubt, maybe we presume on God’s mercy, maybe we are overly pious, etc. The devil always wants to make you feel lost and makes you to want to despair. Mostly, he wants you to rebel against God and bring others with you. Your disposition is holy and your questions show you have the Holy Spirit in you. May you always have that and may you be able to persevere. The biggest obstacle in my understanding is the difference between repentance and despair or repentance vs sorrow or sorrow vs despair. I am a worrywart too. Trust in God and he’ll bring you to the finish line. He loves you and wants to see you in Heaven. As you already know, he died for you and every time we sin or are disobedient, we are effectively killing him again. Check out Father Larry richards.

 

[CRV]

’m worried that if I become Catholic I will end up in mild despair thinking I won’t be saved.

When one feels discouraged, then we turn to God and ask Him to increase our Faith and Trust in Him, engage our wills despite these feelings and pick up our cross and carry on.

It is a temptation to despair and to not trust God and in His Power when we give into thoughts that we are not saved, and instead a temptation to ‘save ourselves’ by being certain.

I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace?

We are ‘done’ unless we repent of this sin, make an act of perfect contrition and go to the sacrament of confession/penance. Doing penance for that sin is separate to the forgiveness of that sin. We’re only ‘done’ if we refuse to repent of any mortal sin committed.

I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin.

Then you’re like a lot of Catholics. There are a lot who are scrupulous, but who also with God’s grace get up each day, and persevere in living a Catholic life to the best of their ability in co-operation with Gods’ grace, who regularly go to confession and Holy Communion.

Roman Catholics live one day of peace when one day you can be a child of God and the next day a child of Satan simply for the commission of one mortal sin.

Because we’ve chosen to commit the mortal sin, but we know God has provided us the way for us to be reconciled to Him and His Church through the Sacrament of Confession, to recover the life of sanctifying grace within our souls.

Think of driving a car. Knowing that we could be involved in a fatal accident each time we get in and drive somewhere, we still do! We accept it may happen, we drive carefully and with due attention to avoid such an accident to the best of our ability, but we are not paralyzed with fear while driving.

So it is with living as a Catholic. We go about our days, doing our best to avoid willfully commiting a mortal sin, but know that if we do, then we go to the Sacraments God has provided. He knows our weaknesses and inclination to sin and has provided the remedy in His Sacraments.

Don’t we all sin? Don’t we all lust, have prideful thoughts, covet, etc?

Yes, we all do sin. But with the help of Gods’ grace we can strive to overcome all mortal sins, and even strive to reduce the frequency of venial sins too. We don’t or shouldn’t ever become complacent regarding sin in our lives and just accept sin. We continually strive to do better - all by co-operating with God’s grace He freely gives us.

 

[1ke]

By that I mean that I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin.

Scruples is in the OCD family. It would be best for you to talk to a priest about your concerns. Someone trained in spiritual direction for those with scruples.

 

[1ke]

Scruples is a mental health issue. It isn’t rational. No answer you get here is going to satisfy you.

The best course is to work with a priest trained to help those who suffer this illness.

 

[CRV]

the conscience is tormented and in anxiety of not making it to penance the next day and they fear that they will die before then and since they’ve cut themselves from God’s grace by mortal sin they may end up in hell.

That definitely sounds like scruples. In this case, we make an Act of Perfect Contrition, learn to live with the fear until we can get to Confession and use this experience to strengthen our will not to commit the same sin again.

Gluttony is different to overeating. Also, there are various things that may lesson the culpability one incurs for eg psychological stress, fear, anxiety, just to name a few off the top of my head.

 

[GiftofMercy]

Hey everyone, I’m currently a Protestant but I was looking into the theology of Roman Catholicism and I just need to know how Roman Catholics can live at peace. This is an honest question as someone who sincerely wants to know the answer. If I sound like a bigot forgive me it’s not how I want to sound like. I’m worried that if I become Catholic I will end up in mild despair thinking I won’t be saved. I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace? It seems burdensome and hurtful to people like me. By that I mean that I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin. At times I fear I’ve committed sin when I haven’t and I worry about it. But essentially, how can Roman Catholics live one day of peace when one day you can be a child of God and the next day a child of Satan simply for the commission of one mortal sin. Don’t we all sin? Don’t we all lust, have prideful thoughts, covet, etc? How can a poor tormented conscience find peace in that? Thank you for bearing with me and reading this.

One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is peace. Interior peace is a grace we begin to acrue if you will, as we grow in our faith.

We all sin, every one of us. The thing here is to keep going to confession on a regular basis. And listen to your Priest and take his advice. Confession is asking God for forgiveness and accepting His love. Confession itself gives us enormous graces and is our first weapon against the devil.

Convert, trust in God completely, and peace will grow. To trust in God is to say to God, you are in charge, I sinned , I am sorry, I will try harder. But of course being human, we will sin again. God knows this. God created us with free will

 

[njlisa]

Welcome to CAF, @Alainval

I was received into the Catholic Church nearly 30 years ago.
The first sacrament I was attracted to was Reconciliation.
Going to confession is a cleansing, holy experience.

Confession comes from the Bible.

James 5:16: Therefore, confess your sins to one
another and pray for one another, that you may be
healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person
is very powerful.

Jesus never taught "once saved, always saved."

Matthew 7:21-23: “Not everyone who says to me,
‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only
the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.
Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we
not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out
demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds
in your name?’ Then I will declare to them solemnly,
‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.’”

James: 2:26: “For as the body without the spirit is
dead, so faith without works is dead also.”

Matthew 25:44-46: Then they will answer and say,
‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger
or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?’
He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not
do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’ And
these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous
to eternal life.”

 

[CRV]

Scruples is a mental health issue.

I beg to differ here - it isn’t always a mental health issue (as in depression/schizophrenia etc) or part of OCD.

Especially if it stems from a lack of knowledge or understanding of matters (new convert who really doesn’t have all the knowledge or someone who has returned to the Church after 30, 40 or more years away and has literally forgotten everything they ever knew) - as once the right information is obtained and understood correctly, that scruple is resolved.

In cases of scruples that are caused by the above scenarios, then a priest is the one who can help develop the persons conscience, knowledge and understanding especially in applying matters to relevant concrete circumstances that arise in the individuals own life, which is causing them great concern/fear/anxiety due to uncertainty in these matters.

If the person also has OCD (or anxiety issues which can be severe) as well, then a mental health professional is needed if it is severe.

I am aware of recent findings stating it is part of OCD - I’m not saying it isn’t, just that it isn’t in every single case, is all . Having 3 friends who also suffer scruples to different degrees, none of whom exhibit any other symptoms of OCD in their lives.

 

[TK421]

Hey everyone, I’m currently a Protestant but I was looking into the theology of Roman Catholicism and I just need to know how Roman Catholics can live at peace. This is an honest question as someone who sincerely wants to know the answer. If I sound like a bigot forgive me it’s not how I want to sound like. I’m worried that if I become Catholic I will end up in mild despair thinking I won’t be saved. I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace? It seems burdensome and hurtful to people like me. By that I mean that I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin. At times I fear I’ve committed sin when I haven’t and I worry about it. But essentially, how can Roman Catholics live one day of peace when one day you can be a child of God and the next day a child of Satan simply for the commission of one mortal sin. Don’t we all sin? Don’t we all lust, have prideful thoughts, covet, etc? How can a poor tormented conscience find peace in that? Thank you for bearing with me and reading this.

If you have scrupulous thoughts - which is something that happens universally to the human race - then these thoughts are going to cause you a lot of pain whether you become Catholic or not. As a Catholic you will be better equipped to move past them.

The difference is that a Catholic can make a good Confession and have a concrete proof of forgiveness through the ministry of the priest. A protestant can repent to God privately and then they have to convince themselves that they really are forgiven. And let’s face it: doubts can and will occur.

Peace.

 

[Alainval]

Thank you all for your replies. I do have OCD and can resonate with Martin Luther and his struggles. I know the Roman Catholic Church excommunicated him but if only they knew the torment that poor monk went through it could have caused them to be more gentle and meek with him. But I’m still questioning a bit on things like grace and works. If I’m not wrong, Catholicism actually does not believing that we are saved by works necessarily. We are saved by God’s grace who through His power and working infuses righteousness into us leading to salvation? So in a sense, Rome does believe in salvation by grace alone as long as they mean that grace is what enables us to do good works and thus merit eternal life, but knowing that those good works are not our own but God who worked it in us. Am I right in that?

 

[englands123]

Hey everyone, I’m currently a Protestant but I was looking into the theology of Roman Catholicism and I just need to know how Roman Catholics can live at peace. This is an honest question as someone who sincerely wants to know the answer. If I sound like a bigot forgive me it’s not how I want to sound like. I’m worried that if I become Catholic I will end up in mild despair thinking I won’t be saved. I mean, if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace? It seems burdensome and hurtful to people like me. By that I mean that I tend to be scrupulous and sensitive at times when it comes to sin. At times I fear I’ve committed sin when I haven’t and I worry about it. But essentially, how can Roman Catholics live one day of peace when one day you can be a child of God and the next day a child of Satan simply for the commission of one mortal sin. Don’t we all sin? Don’t we all lust, have prideful thoughts, covet, etc? How can a poor tormented conscience find peace in that? Thank you for bearing with me and reading this.

Aww bless you for such honesty. The Holy Spirit is already doing much work inside you.
To put it mildly all of us ( including the Pope ) are sinners. It’s impossible for anyone to keep the 10 commandments. The Lord knew this when he gave them to us.

All we can do is our best… and be honest to ourselves.

 

[CRV]

If I’m not wrong, Catholicism actually does not believing that we are saved by works necessarily.

Firstly we are saved by Christ. It is through His life, death and resurrection - His merits - which was the price paid for our sins so we could be redeemed.

Secondly, we believe Faith and good works are necessary - both. Not one or the other, but both.

Everything comes from God. Each breath we take comes from God, it is He who sustains us. We can literally do nothing without God’s grace. Without it we would not even exist. So it is His inspirations to do good and His graces which enable us to do follow through with this good deed. Any gifts and talents we may possess comes from Him.

So any good work we may do - helping someone cross the street for example - the inspiration to do so came from God, the ability to breath, walk and talk comes from God, but it is our choice to act on this inspiration and carry out the good deed inspired by God - the engaging of our wills and uniting them to His Will.

The only thing that we can truly claim as ours is our sins - temptations accepted and acted upon with our wills of our own free choice.

 

[Timeflies2me]

Matthew 16:18 is the biggest non despair for us Catholics.

And I am the same way with sin, were all imperfect. Do as I do and go to the hospital, the church, and go to confession. God knows our intentions, we have to try. If you get worried about sinning, pray and dont worry. Confess every week, 52 times a year like i do. Because at the end of the day, the Lord knows our efforts and will show you the full love thats in his Church.

 

[Divine3]

Welcome to CAF @alainval Great question. I never thought of that issue coming to the mind of a protestant. The only way you will see and experience the great peace of the sacraments given to us by Jesus is to …come and see… join a group of people interested in becoming Catholic…great question to ask there…and it is an invitation…you can stay or leave… praying for you. peace

 

[Alainval]

But doesn’t the Catechism agree with me? “ Since the initiative belongs to God in the order of grace, no one can merit the initial grace of forgiveness and justification, at the beginning of conversion. Moved by the Holy Spirit and by charity, we can then merit for ourselves and for others the graces needed for our sanctification, for the increase of grace and charity, and for the attainment of eternal life.“ It does mention being “moved by the Holy Spirit and by charity” which the Spirit did put there by the infusion of righteousness received at baptism. Doesn’t that necessarily mean that even our good works are primarily from God? Doesn’t Augustine also believe something similar when he said, “Oh Lord, everything good in me is due to you. Everything else is my fault.”

 

[TheLittleLady]

Unless you are spending money to eat pizza while your children go without food, even eating an entire XL pizza would not be grave matter.

Gluttony is about inordinate use of food, not about over eating.