Despair in Catholicism

[observing]

Alainval, I have been a Catholic all my life and just recently have picked up on some scrupulous feelings, however I know the love of Jesus is all forgiving and all loving. When I feel uncomfortable with thoughts swirling through my brain, I humbly say this prayer:
“Eternal God, whose mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy within us that in difficult moments we not despair nor become despondent but with great confidence submit our lives to Your perfect will, which is love and mercy itself.”
Also remember that confessing your sins is a grace accompanied with great blessings and a feeling of being whole and clean again. Always remember that you are not confessing to a man but to God Himself who loves you with all His heart and will guide you one step at a time.
Peace and blessings.

 

[giuseppeTO]

Luther denied the majority of the Sacraments which were instituted by Christ and famously proclaimed that the highest of all prayers, The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, ‘stank of oblation’. He was not excommunicated for being a poor scrupulous monk.

 

[Maragal]

God is ALL love and mercy. And He can work “outside the sacraments”…He can come to you or any of us on our death bed and ask if we will choose Him. Saint Faustina said he would come in our dying breath, to every single one of us. He also understands our weaknesses, and that some sins are caused by addiction, compulsion, habit, psychological stress - and He is understanding of that. He gives us all endless chances because His love is endless. He just asks that we try. I’m an adult convert to the Faith and I read everything lol…please PM me with questions.

 

[Randolph]

Scruples is a mental health issue. It isn’t rational. No answer you get here is going to satisfy you.

The best course is to work with a priest trained to help those who suffer this illness.

Yes, indeed… Plus continued faith and prayers…

 

[Genesis315]

if I commit just one mortal sin I’m done unless I do Penance but how can that bring peace?

No one is lost because of one mortal sin or even one million. It is mortal sin combined with a refusal to repent. If one refuses to reconcile with God, one should not be at peace and in fact will not be at peace (that is what Hell is, really–a state without peace with God). Peace is found in the friendship of God. When we turn back to Him, we have peace.

Yes, Jesus talks often about us keeping our lamps lit because we know not when the Master will come for us. That being said, God is not playing a game of gotcha–He desires our salvation (see also 1: Tim 2:4):

Matt. 18:[11] For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. [12] What think you? If a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them should go astray: doth he not leave the ninety-nine in the mountains, and go to seek that which is gone astray? [13] And if it so be that he find it: Amen I say to you, he rejoiceth more for that, than for the ninety-nine that went not astray. [14] Even so it is not the will of your Father, who is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

God is omnipotent as well. If you seek to confess with a contrite heart, assuming you indeed need the sacrament, God will infallibly ensure that you are able to do so (See also Psalm 51:17). As Jesus promises:

Matt. 7:[7] Ask, and it shall be given you: seek, and you shall find: knock, and it shall be opened to you.

He elaborates on this elsewhere:

John 16:[24]…Ask, and you shall receive; that your joy may be full.

The condition on His promise to give what we seek is that it make our joy full, that is, it is good for our salvation (that’s what full joy is). There is nothing more conducive to our salvation than having our sins forgiven.

If you sin, turn to God with a contrite heart and you will have peace. Choose to remain at enmity with Him, and you will not. No one should be at peace who obstinately refuses to reconcile with God.

 

[JoeShlabotnik]

I feel at peace whenever I receive absolution from the priest for the sins I have confesses. I feel at peace when I do my penance for those sins. I feel at peace when I receive the sacrament at Mass.
Catholics are not perfect. We commit sins. But we have the means atone for the sins and to be forgiven for those sins. Thanks be to God!!! May the love and peace of Jesus Christ be with us all!!!

 

[fhansen]

We work out our salvation-there isn’t peace/assurance in the absolute sense- which appears arrogant to us, not to mention non-biblical. God judges us on our love, based on what we did with what we’ve been given in terms of grace/revelation and the time and opportunity we have, with more expected from those given more-Luke 12:48.

And the Church teaches that persistence in mortal sin is required. The concept of mortal sin serves as a sort of solid guideline-because grave or serious sins oppose and destroy love in us-love, again, being the true hallmark of our justification-our state of justice/righteousness. It kills us all over again IOW, constituting “sin that leads to death”-1 John 5

Either way Scripture tells us that God judges by the heart, which he knows far better than any of us. And we can trust in His wisdom, mercy, and goodness. We’re the only the wildcard in it all.

 

[CRV]

I thought my previous post explained it well. Even though the first inspiration to do a good deed for example, comes from God, and the grace to physically move, breathe etc comes from God - so yes in that sense it comes from God. But we also can merit good (which will be weighed at our particular judgement against the evil we have done as well as the good we failed to do), because it is/was our choice whether we did the good thing and thus accepted God’s grace or not.

Catechism of the Catholic Church - Article 2. Grace & Justification

Catechsim of the Catholic Church - Merit - just the section concerning merit from the above article.

 

[Jimbo]

I struggled with scrupulosity for years; and honestly it was confession and penance that were a key part of saving me.

You know, at absolution, that you absolutely are saved. While in the confessional, you can discuss with the priest how to view sins; and rightly differentiate between venial and mortal.

The protestant view would have me in huge anxiety. ‘I committed myself to the Lord yet I still grievously sin did it really count? Was I really given grace?’’

 

[CRV]

Perfect contrition is not required unless one dies before going to confession

True. But can you be absolutely certain you won’t before then. I suggested making an act of perfect contrition simply because the OP was worried that they were ‘done’ unless they did Penance (and using a capital P instead of a small p, I assumed they were using the old term for Confession/Reconciliation), in addition to their fear and anxiety around mortal sin and scruples in general.

Perfect contrition forgives mortal sin then and there with obviously the intention to go to confession at the first opportunity. Imperfect contrition or attrition is all that is needed within the Sacrament of Confession for the forgiveness of sin.

Fear of the loss of Heaven or the pains of hell is all one needs to be forgiven via the Sacrament of Penance.

That’s right, as I said above - attrition.

Imperfection Contrition

Sorrow for sin animated by a supernatural motive that is less than a perfect love of God. Some of the motives for imperfect contrition are the fear of the pains of hell, of losing heaven, of being punished by God in this life for one’s sins, of being judged by God; the sense of disobedience to God or of ingratitude toward him; the realization of lost merit or of sanctifying grace. Also called attrition, imperfect contrition is sufficient for remission of sin in the sacrament of penance.

CCC - Contrition #1452 & 1453
1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) … It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). … … By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

One question though…how could you ever know you made perfect contrition unless you died and went to purgatory/heaven before you were able to make it to Confession?

I saw all these websites saying how to make perfect contrition and my understanding is that it’s a special grace and something one cannot count upon.

 

[CRV]

example -
An argument with friend. Sorry for what you said because you realize that you deeply hurt your friend and so apologized to them and asked them to forgive you. OR - sorry for what you said because you realize that you deeply hurt your friend and so apologized because you feared if you didn’t apologize, then they’d end the friendship as a result - and being your only friend you didn’t want to risk being friendless as a result.

I think you know within yourself whether you were sorry for the hurt you caused the other, or whether you were sorry because you didn’t want to lose the other persons friendship.

It is a special grace in that it comes from God, the motive for the sorrow is for having offended God because you love Him for Himself, and not because you may end up in hell if you don’t! Sorrow for this lesser motive, also comes from the Holy Spirit.

It is the motive/cause of the sorrow - because God is loved above all else, because the thought of having offended Him is just so horrible to you.

The act of contrition I make when I go to confession is - “O my God, I am heartily sorry that I have sinned against you, and I detest all the sins of my past life, because of thy just punishments, but most of all because I have offended Thee my God who art all Good and deserving of all my love. And I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more. Amen.”

So when our sorrow for sin is from the pure love of God (and therefore not selfish reasons ie so I don’t end up in hell), our contrition is perfect.

If we ask God for this grace of Perfect Contrition, if we do what we can to foster this love of God over the love for ourselves, if we amend our lives including avoiding the near occasions of sin (obviously we can’t avoid our immediate relatives with whom we live, as an example, but we can avoid talking about certain subjects or people with them, as an example in order to avoid detraction), and by receiving the Sacrament of Confession (in the case of mortal sin) at the first opportunity we have to do so - then I think all this together would indicate that my contrition was perfect.

 

[Jen7]

I’m still not completely sure. The best I can say is it could be true . I’m worried and hesitant about becoming Catholic because I fear that my Protestant traditions (Lutheran and Reformed) would condemn me and pretty much damn me to hell. I’m also afraid I could be wrong if I convert. It’s pretty much on fear and uncertainty.

You seem very concerned about making a mistake here. Do you feel it is all on you to “make the correct choice” in order to avoid damnation? Remember how much Jesus himself wants you happy with him in heaven!! Perhaps pray to see your spiritual uncertainty less as a place of anxiety and more as an opportunity to ask questions, learn, pray more, and thank God for leading you to wonder more about his plan for salvation.

Perhaps ponder this Scripture: fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good wishes to give you the kingdom.

A bit of OCD or anxiety counseling may help with your discomfort with uncertainty.

 

[Margaret_Ann]

No one is lost because of one mortal sin or even one million.

Not so. As the priest told us on retreat:

“For one mortal sin, a third of the angels lost heaven. For one mortal sin, Adam and Eve lost Paradise. For one mortal sin, a person can go to hell.”

Mortal sin drives out sanctifying grace, the Divine Life of God, from the soul. To put it in Ignatian terms, a person in mortal sin is under the standard of Satan, while the person in sanctifying grace is under the standard of Christ.

 

[thistle]

I realize that there are certain criteria that a certain sin needs to meet in order for it to be mortal. For one, it has to be a grave sin. Is it alright if I give an example? Since gluttony is generally thought of as one of the deadly sins then surely it is logical to conclude that the commission of that sin would be mortal since it’s a grave matter. Now the issue with the sensitive conscience is that they worry if just one more bite of that pizza will constitute the commission of gluttony. Thus, the conscience is tormented and in anxiety of not making it to penance the next day and they fear that they will die before then and since they’ve cut themselves from God’s grace by mortal sin they may end up in hell. How can that bring comfort? Forgive me for annoying you about this but it’s something personal for me.

In case you misunderstand what gluttony actually is see below:

Modern Catholic Dictionary:

GLUTTONY. Inordinate desire for the pleasure connected with food or drink. This desire may become sinful in various ways: by eating or drinking far more than a person needs to maintain bodily strength; by glutting one’s taste for certain kinds of food with known detriment to health; by indulging the appetite for exquisite food or drink, especially when these are beyond one’s ability to afford a luxurious diet; by eating or drinking too avidly, i.e., ravenously; by consuming alcoholic beverages to the point of losing full control of one’s reasoning powers. Intoxication that ends in complete loss of reason is a mortal sin if brought on without justification, e.g., for medical reasons. (Etym. Latin glutire , to devour.)

 

[Maragal]

OP - please don’t despair. My friend discusses the “hit by a bus” scenario…I think Im in mortal sin, but on my way to confession, Im hit by a bus and killed…will God turn His back on me? He made me FOR and BY love - he loves me so much - it’s an insult to His divine mercy to think He’d say “ah well…she almost made it…close but no cigar…”

He sees our hearts - better than WE can see them- He knows our weaknesses, our “baggage”…As many of the Saints have said He is looking for that chink in our armour…for our tiny opening…and if we give Him that, He will swamp us with His love.

The whole theology of venial and mortal sin should be a HELP to us but NEVER a tool for fear, distrust, despair…those concepts help us to “think about” our sins, our areas that need improvement…and encourage us to the confessional to offer our weaknesses and sorrow up to God…

You are a LOVED child of God…He will ALWAYS offer you and me and all of His other children a chance to embrace Him…if you find yourself in sin, say "Im sorry I’ll try harder’, pray for grace to do better, plan a confession and then leave it with Him, trusting that He loves you so much, He will take care of you. Therese of Liseux…“even if I had committed all the sins of the world, Id throw myself into His loving arms”…Catherine of Sienna “He is insane with love for us…”…Saint Faustina (quoting Jesus) "the greater the sinner, the more entitled to My mercy… ".

 

[Genesis315]

I think you missed my point; keep reading after my sentence you quoted. For human beings, a person is damned only if he perseveres to the end in mortal sin–that is, if he dies impenitent. A person who does not persevere in impenitence, but rather turns back to God with a contrite heart, will have their sins forgiven. There are many in Heaven who committed many mortal sins during their lifetimes, but they repented and were saved. That was my point–a single mortal sin or any number of mortal sins is not a definitive sentence–it is not a reason for despair. God will forgive them if we turn to Him.

As the Psalmist says, “a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

 

[Margaret_Ann]

If a person dies immediately after committing a mortal sin they will go to hell. In the Book of Ezekiel (chapter 32 or 33 if memory serves), it says that if the just man turns away from his justice and does wickedness he will be punished. And in one of the Wisdom books it says that wherever the tree falls so shall it lie. This is traditionally interpreted as wherever one is spiritually at the moment of death.

I totally agree with you on the mercy of God but presumption as well as despair are the two main sins against the virtue of Hope (and if I’m not mistaken, they are two of the six sins against the Holy Ghost - from which we may all be spared!).