Dear friend, have confidence in God’s love! Suppose very few are saved: does that place sanctity beyond your reach? Does God withhold from us the graces that we need to love Him and fulfil His commandments? "What can be easier than to obey a most loving Father, commanding nothing except what promotes our happiness?” (Blosius)
Let God’s love sanctify you. All He wants for you is to receive His love, so that you might love Him in return, for without Him we can do nothing. Remember that any good inspiration you have, comes from Him. If you desire to love Him, you can be sure that He desires your love far more! “You seek Me, indeed, but know that, however ardently you seek Me, I seek you more ardently still. And it is your fears that prevent your progress in Divine love.” (Our Lord to St. Margaret of Cortona)
Love God and He will take care of everything else. “You must think only of loving Me! I will think of everything else, even to the smallest details! … Trust always in Jesus! If you only knew how much pleasure that gives Me! Grant Me this solace to trust in Me even in the shadow of death.” (Our Lord to Sr. Consolata Betrone). “No one who loves God above all things will enter into hell.” (Revelations of St. Bridget, Bk 4, Ch 4)
Certain topics are inclined to throw a veil over God’s goodness, in a sense. They make it difficult for people to see that God wants only what is best for them. Avoid such topics - at least for now - if this is their primary fruit. The Scriptures (and the Catechism) suffice for telling us what we need to do to be saved.
In the life of St. Padre Pio, he often assured people that a family member of theirs was saved. Is it likely that they were all great saints? I doubt it. I believe it is more likely that they were good Christians: obedient to God, prayerful, diligent. Perhaps they were lukewarm at times, but their will tended towards Love. “There are many simple men in the Church and Christendom who do few good deeds but still are saved through their faith wherein they believe Me to be the Creator of all things and the Redeemer of souls.” (Revelations of St. Bridget, Bk 1, Ch 15).
At the end of the day, I wouldn’t place too much emphasis on private revelations, but I mention them in order to balance out some other revelations. Try to focus more on God’s love and mercy. Think, for example, of the countless baptised infants who are assured of salvation. Think of the promises of Our Lord to those who faithfully fulfil the ‘Nine First Fridays’ devotion etc.
With regards to those who commit suicide, it is worth remembering the conditions for mortal sin. I have a friend who died in this way, but I entrust them to the mercy of God, doubting that they were in a right state of mind at the time. The Servant of God, Marthe Robin, had a brother who committed suicide, but it seems that she received a revelation that he was in Purgatory. In God’s eyes, He was not entirely responsible. His excessive pain, for example, somewhat blinded his intellect. St. Augustine and St. Thomas say that we should despair of the salvation of no one in this life, even if their end seemed bad.
Be assured that my prayers are with you. Feel free to pm me if you wish to discuss anything further.
Here is a final thought, taken from ‘Purgatory’ by Fr. Schouppe:
"Our Saviour came to bring peace to men of good-will, and to impose upon us, as a condition of our salvation, a yoke which is sweet and a burden which is not heavy. Therefore, let your will be good, and you will find peace, you will see all difficulties and terrors vanish. Good-will! that is everything. Be of good-will, submit to the Will of God, place His Holy Law above all else, serve the Lord with all your heart, and He will give you such powerful assistance that you will enter Paradise with an astonishing facility. I could never have believed, you will say, that it was so easy to enter Heaven! Again, I repeat, to effect in us this wonder of Mercy, God asks on our part an upright heart, a good-will.
Good-will consists, properly speaking, in submitting and conforming our will to that of God, who is the rule of all good-will; and this good-will attains its highest perfection when we embrace the Divine Will as the sovereign good, even then when it imposes the greatest sacrifices, the most acute suffering. Oh, admirable state! The soul thus disposed seems to lose the sensation of pain, and this because the soul is animated with the spirit of love; and, as St. Augustine says, when we love we suffer not, or, if we suffer, we love the suffering…
Venerable Claude de la Colombiere, of the Society of Jesus, possessed this loving heart, this perfect will, and in his Retrait Spirituelle he thus expresses his sentiments: —"We must not cease to expiate the past disorders of our life by penance; but it must be done without anxiety, because the worst that can befall us, when our will is good and we are submissive and obedient, is to be sent for a long time to Purgatory, and we may say with good reason that this is a great evil. I do not fear Purgatory. Of Hell I will not speak, for I should wrong the Mercy of God by having the least fear of Hell, although I have merited it more than all the demons together. Purgatory I do not fear. I wish I had not deserved it, since I could not do so without displeasing God; but, as I have merited to go there, I am delighted to go and satisfy His Justice in the most rigorous manner it is possible to imagine, and that even to the Day of Judgment…
“When thou shalt arrive thus far, that tribulation shall be sweet to thee, and thou shalt relish it for the love of Christ: then think that it is well with thee, for thou hast found a Paradise upon earth” (Imit. ii. 12)."
