Despair

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bioethics1985

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I am struggling with an intense feeling of doom. Lately, I have struggled with the more controversial Catholic theology. For instance, I’ve read about inflammatory comments in school lectures, bishops refusing to wash women’s feet at Holy Thursday when my childhood parish always did so, physicians refusing to deliver a baby after membrane rupture with the mother dying, etc. I was thinking about the issue of abortion last night as well as what Gloria Polo saw during her NDE. I am vehemently against elective abortion but do not see a problem with delivering a baby early to save the mother. Note I think this acceptable only in the most serious cases (like once in ten years or something). But, as a medical student, if I can save one life rather than lose both my conscience compells me. Similarly, I knew a young woman who committed suicide. She was clearly extremely depressed and not thinking clearly. Was even incompetent so had an appointed guardian. When reading Polo’s testimony, she described a horrible place teserved just for these people. I am intensely anxious. I can’t be the purist some can be. I doubt and see grey areas. When I read about the fewness of the saved, I tremble. I am so scared of God I don’t want to be near him. I feel physically ill. Perhaps, I am not predestined for salvation. I’m not asking for any mean comments please. I’m already in trouble for the despair and a horrible sinner. I don’t know where to go from here.
 
I should clarify. I want to feel differently. It’s not that I have a callous distegard for God. I’m just so scared! It’s sorta like being near a ruler who could kill you and send you to eternal hell at any moment. It’s hard to imagine loving when you are so petrified.
 
First of all take a deep breath, do not dwell on what you’ve posted already but find a peaceful moment regardless of how stressed or despairing you feel.

My primary advice would be to momentarily set aside these pieces of theology or thought that are causing you to get stuck in such feelings. While it is good to understand what the Church teaches on such subjects it is best to allow yourself time away from them to release yourself from what you are feeling. Feelings are amoral but can result in moral implications if we act on them. From what you’ve said you are acting inwardly and are holding yourself in despair.

Lastly, God is not waiting to smite us at any moment. We are not predestined for anything. I’ve learned from a good priest to think of our lives as an ever braiding rope. The choices we have made are braided firmly in the past all our choices lie ahead as the twine waiting to be braided together. Our choices will help us to arrive safely to Heaven provided we rely on God’s help. Also, Jesus revealed continuously to St. Faustina that He is waiting to shower us with His Mercy. "I sent prophets wielding thunderbolts to My people. Today I am sending you with My mercy to the people of the whole world. I do not want to punish aching mankind, but I desire to heal it, pressing it to My Merciful Heart."

My understanding of this quote from Jesus in St. Faustina’s Diary (1588) is that the thunderbolts are not of smiting but to attempt to wake us up from our complacency. Once awake and willing to approach Christ we need to let him heal us.

I have prayed for you for Christ’s peace to be with you.

BZ
 
If I remember correctly, Gloria Polo’s visions run counter to the Church. We need not be concerned with them.

ICXC NIKA
 
If I remember correctly, Gloria Polo’s visions run counter to the Church. We need not be concerned with them.

ICXC NIKA
Good to know! I saw it somewhere on CAF, and people seemed to think it was approved.
 
First of all take a deep breath, do not dwell on what you’ve posted already but find a peaceful moment regardless of how stressed or despairing you feel.

My primary advice would be to momentarily set aside these pieces of theology or thought that are causing you to get stuck in such feelings. While it is good to understand what the Church teaches on such subjects it is best to allow yourself time away from them to release yourself from what you are feeling. Feelings are amoral but can result in moral implications if we act on them. From what you’ve said you are acting inwardly and are holding yourself in despair.

Lastly, God is not waiting to smite us at any moment. We are not predestined for anything. I’ve learned from a good priest to think of our lives as an ever braiding rope. The choices we have made are braided firmly in the past all our choices lie ahead as the twine waiting to be braided together. Our choices will help us to arrive safely to Heaven provided we rely on God’s help. Also, Jesus revealed continuously to St. Faustina that He is waiting to shower us with His Mercy. "I sent prophets wielding thunderbolts to My people. Today I am sending you with My mercy to the people of the whole world. I do not want to punish aching mankind, but I desire to heal it, pressing it to My Merciful Heart."

My understanding of this quote from Jesus in St. Faustina’s Diary (1588) is that the thunderbolts are not of smiting but to attempt to wake us up from our complacency. Once awake and willing to approach Christ we need to let him heal us.

I have prayed for you for Christ’s peace to be with you.

BZ
I really appreciate you words of encouragement and prayers! Thank you!
 
Hey friend, I’m not a med student like you but I am a nurse and think healthcare is incredibly depressing by nature. You are around terrible suffering all the time (most of which you can’t fix), your colleagues are mostly evil, you (doctors especially) are VERY overworked and unappreciated, your sleep schedule sucks which compounds your emotional distress, and the list goes on.

As you are implicitly pointing out, the stress is particularly intense for those of us in the healthcare industry with a conscience because we are confronted with ethical dilemmas that the general public is not. I think those particular issues you address really boil down to two things: humility and obedience.

The Church has taken the positions it has based on the cumulative study of thinkers over the course of millennia, minds WAY more brilliant than any today, I dare say. I have trouble getting past certain things too (that no lie is ever morally acceptable, for example), but I have to remind myself that to think I am right and the Church is wrong is like saying I’m smarter than the collective conclusions of Aquinas, Augustine, Hildebrand, etc. I’m just not. No one is.

The world can be rough, dude. It’s not called a “valley of tears” for nothing. Don’t let the idiotic actions of certain clergymen discourage you. We all fail sometimes. Pray for gratitude (the fruit of which is joy) and humility. I shall pray for you as well.
 
I have been researching the church’s position on many of the things you mentioned and more and the more I do, it seems like a jigsaw puzzle that I understand more and more the more pieces of the puzzle (church teaching, books written by the Popes, reasons for the conclusions, etc.). I find that by and large my own moral compass is in agreement with the church’s. When there is some disagreement, I give the church the benefit of the doubt and continue to research. So far, I have not come across any huge disparities, much to my amazement and joy.

But on matters of faith, especially spiritual matters (not strictly moral), especially with regards to hell, etc… I have chosen to simply leave those things to God and realize that I do not fully understand them. But if I understand that God is love, and God commands us to love others, even our enemies, and himself, then I am willing to trust that he is doing what infinite mercy and love allow.

Don’t fret about all the details all at once. Let it rest and come back to them when you’re ready.
 
Please remember those who truly want to go to heaven will be shown the way.

Those who don’t go to heaven won’t go by their choice. God wants every man to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Trust in God for He is good and His mercy endures forever! 👍
 
There are a lot of troubles in the world, and we can only handle them one at a time. The danger of following lots of news stories and investigating controversies is that we will begin to see only the moral dilemmas in life, not the moral certainties. There certainly are moral dilemmas, but it’s not always best to seek them out – they’ll come to us, soon enough. I’d encourage you to spend less time following the news, bioethics. :o

And I commend your honesty, and I pray that the Lord of all compassion will comfort you and shepherd you past this despair.
 
I should clarify. I want to feel differently. It’s not that I have a callous distegard for God. I’m just so scared! It’s sorta like being near a ruler who could kill you and send you to eternal hell at any moment. It’s hard to imagine loving when you are so petrified.
I strongly suggest that you recommend yourself to the Blessed Virgin Mary and pray your rosary to her faithfully everyday for all your spiritual needs. I also strongly recommend that you read: The Devotion to the Sacred Heart by Fr. John Croiset, S.J… If you pray your rosary faithfully and read this book you should find yourself in a completely different state of mind. God bless you.
 
I should clarify. I want to feel differently. It’s not that I have a callous distegard for God. I’m just so scared! It’s sorta like being near a ruler who could kill you and send you to eternal hell at any moment. It’s hard to imagine loving when you are so petrified.
Personally I think this is a great way to begin our approach toward God. The wise person remembers that creation is God’s to do with as he pleases. God is terrifying by the very fact that he is God.

Keep that in mind and then consider the story of Jesus Christ, and you will comprehend why it is the “Good News.” This terrifying being loves you so deeply as to become Man and suffer immensely for you.

Look at what has been written even in the gospels and you’ll see again and again how God wants to spend eternity loving you.

None-the-less since God loves you he will not refuse you free-will. You have been given the choice to completely reject Him if you so desire.
 
Dear friend, have confidence in God’s love! Suppose very few are saved: does that place sanctity beyond your reach? Does God withhold from us the graces that we need to love Him and fulfil His commandments? "What can be easier than to obey a most loving Father, commanding nothing except what promotes our happiness?” (Blosius)

Let God’s love sanctify you. All He wants for you is to receive His love, so that you might love Him in return, for without Him we can do nothing. Remember that any good inspiration you have, comes from Him. If you desire to love Him, you can be sure that He desires your love far more! “You seek Me, indeed, but know that, however ardently you seek Me, I seek you more ardently still. And it is your fears that prevent your progress in Divine love.” (Our Lord to St. Margaret of Cortona)

Love God and He will take care of everything else. “You must think only of loving Me! I will think of everything else, even to the smallest details! … Trust always in Jesus! If you only knew how much pleasure that gives Me! Grant Me this solace to trust in Me even in the shadow of death.” (Our Lord to Sr. Consolata Betrone). “No one who loves God above all things will enter into hell.” (Revelations of St. Bridget, Bk 4, Ch 4)

Certain topics are inclined to throw a veil over God’s goodness, in a sense. They make it difficult for people to see that God wants only what is best for them. Avoid such topics - at least for now - if this is their primary fruit. The Scriptures (and the Catechism) suffice for telling us what we need to do to be saved.

In the life of St. Padre Pio, he often assured people that a family member of theirs was saved. Is it likely that they were all great saints? I doubt it. I believe it is more likely that they were good Christians: obedient to God, prayerful, diligent. Perhaps they were lukewarm at times, but their will tended towards Love. “There are many simple men in the Church and Christendom who do few good deeds but still are saved through their faith wherein they believe Me to be the Creator of all things and the Redeemer of souls.” (Revelations of St. Bridget, Bk 1, Ch 15).

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t place too much emphasis on private revelations, but I mention them in order to balance out some other revelations. Try to focus more on God’s love and mercy. Think, for example, of the countless baptised infants who are assured of salvation. Think of the promises of Our Lord to those who faithfully fulfil the ‘Nine First Fridays’ devotion etc.

With regards to those who commit suicide, it is worth remembering the conditions for mortal sin. I have a friend who died in this way, but I entrust them to the mercy of God, doubting that they were in a right state of mind at the time. The Servant of God, Marthe Robin, had a brother who committed suicide, but it seems that she received a revelation that he was in Purgatory. In God’s eyes, He was not entirely responsible. His excessive pain, for example, somewhat blinded his intellect. St. Augustine and St. Thomas say that we should despair of the salvation of no one in this life, even if their end seemed bad.

Be assured that my prayers are with you. Feel free to pm me if you wish to discuss anything further.

Here is a final thought, taken from ‘Purgatory’ by Fr. Schouppe:

"Our Saviour came to bring peace to men of good-will, and to impose upon us, as a condition of our salvation, a yoke which is sweet and a burden which is not heavy. Therefore, let your will be good, and you will find peace, you will see all difficulties and terrors vanish. Good-will! that is everything. Be of good-will, submit to the Will of God, place His Holy Law above all else, serve the Lord with all your heart, and He will give you such powerful assistance that you will enter Paradise with an astonishing facility. I could never have believed, you will say, that it was so easy to enter Heaven! Again, I repeat, to effect in us this wonder of Mercy, God asks on our part an upright heart, a good-will.

Good-will consists, properly speaking, in submitting and conforming our will to that of God, who is the rule of all good-will; and this good-will attains its highest perfection when we embrace the Divine Will as the sovereign good, even then when it imposes the greatest sacrifices, the most acute suffering. Oh, admirable state! The soul thus disposed seems to lose the sensation of pain, and this because the soul is animated with the spirit of love; and, as St. Augustine says, when we love we suffer not, or, if we suffer, we love the suffering…

Venerable Claude de la Colombiere, of the Society of Jesus, possessed this loving heart, this perfect will, and in his Retrait Spirituelle he thus expresses his sentiments: —"We must not cease to expiate the past disorders of our life by penance; but it must be done without anxiety, because the worst that can befall us, when our will is good and we are submissive and obedient, is to be sent for a long time to Purgatory, and we may say with good reason that this is a great evil. I do not fear Purgatory. Of Hell I will not speak, for I should wrong the Mercy of God by having the least fear of Hell, although I have merited it more than all the demons together. Purgatory I do not fear. I wish I had not deserved it, since I could not do so without displeasing God; but, as I have merited to go there, I am delighted to go and satisfy His Justice in the most rigorous manner it is possible to imagine, and that even to the Day of Judgment…

“When thou shalt arrive thus far, that tribulation shall be sweet to thee, and thou shalt relish it for the love of Christ: then think that it is well with thee, for thou hast found a Paradise upon earth” (Imit. ii. 12)."
 
Thank you all for your kind responses! I tried to just relax, get some sleep, and pray about things this past weekend, and I am going to meet with my pastor this week. I got to speak with him on the phone briefly on Saturday, and he told me that he tends to worry less about people who are struggling with a difficult/thorny issue actively and genuinely questioning things than people who are indifferent or who are in complete rebellion but refuse to ask any questions. He said that if I truly didn’t desire a relationship with the Lord I probably wouldn’t be too worried about what he thinks of me 🙂
 
thisi s an example of how you should look at things from my point of view.

imagine being at school and you have a teacher (God), and that teacher says, you have to wear nice shoes to not get the floor dirty, you have to be on time, you have to do your homework etc.

now, the “Ruler” has created you, has created your circumstances, and loves you. thats why he made you. He wants you to be clean, he wants you to be smat, he wants you to appreciate him … and that appreciation turns to love, because now you love being smart, you lovee having a learning facility and more so you love being able to have a house eventually and so on…

well this is exaclty how i picture god, simple example i know. the bible is not about you being on edge about hell… its meant to warn you of course. but a student that is following his teacher and excelling and doing what is required has no need to fear, instead… builds a relationship with the teacher (God) and is rewarded (blessed).

the opposite is not appreciating the teacher, failing, nnot showing up… the person essentially sends themselves to hell.

so, my friend, this moment and this second you can turn yourself around… it doesnt take a whole lot… scream out to god where you are, i want you in my life i love you…

let your heart be pierced, pray… you will do well
 
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