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Devoted0702
Guest
Hello all- God willing you are all doing well during this quarantine time 
I am conflicted, tremendously. I have been in a relationship with a man, who is the love of my life (or maybe I have convinced myself he is) for 3 years now. We have been on and off a few times because of his inability to fully commit (marriage, kids, etc.). All of our arguments/talks/screaming matches, etc. are rooted in that. If it isnt one thing, its another- and he always seems to be blaming other people for his behaviors and his trauma-like worries about the future in marriageā¦
(he is 44 years old, FYI never married, or engaged or children).
When we get into conversations and talk about the future, he never gives me a straight answer, which in return causes arguments and we just seem to go in circles.
I have turned to Mother Mary, my rosary, St. Padre Pio, St. Anne- just to name a few- for their intercession.
Our last ābreakā was December 2nd 2019- he called me and made some unacceptable excuse of how he couldnt go on anymore and couldnt bare the idea of getting married and wasnt readyāso we broke up. I vowed to myself that this was the last time he was going to break my heart and I was never, ever, no matter what, EVER going to get back together with him, like I had a few times prior.
So, I turned to the 54 day Novenaā¦i donāt remember how exactly I stumbled across it, but I did; something called me to say it. I prepared myself fully for it, confessing before hand and with my whole heart and soul, I begged Mother Mary to remove this person from my heart, to eliminate him from my mind and heart, if the intention was for him to not be in my life anymore- I begged, every night. I also submitted myself completely to the will of God. I told Mother Mary, constantly, that if the Lordās will is for me to be alone in this life, but unite with love and life in the paradise of heaven, then so be it. I remember praying the sorrowful mysteries and submitting myself that night- I felt it in my gut; I was prepared for whatever the Lord wanted for me.
On day 20, January 26th 2020ā¦guess who showed up at my doorstep? Noncommittal, heartbreaker 44 year old, with 2 dozen roses in his hands; just standing there, like a lost puppy.
(quick background; I am a 30 year first generation immigrant- I live at home with my mother and father; he had NEVER met my father prior to this and NEVER even been 2 miles within my homeā¦this was a BOLD move.)
I am conflicted, tremendously. I have been in a relationship with a man, who is the love of my life (or maybe I have convinced myself he is) for 3 years now. We have been on and off a few times because of his inability to fully commit (marriage, kids, etc.). All of our arguments/talks/screaming matches, etc. are rooted in that. If it isnt one thing, its another- and he always seems to be blaming other people for his behaviors and his trauma-like worries about the future in marriageā¦
(he is 44 years old, FYI never married, or engaged or children).
When we get into conversations and talk about the future, he never gives me a straight answer, which in return causes arguments and we just seem to go in circles.
I have turned to Mother Mary, my rosary, St. Padre Pio, St. Anne- just to name a few- for their intercession.
Our last ābreakā was December 2nd 2019- he called me and made some unacceptable excuse of how he couldnt go on anymore and couldnt bare the idea of getting married and wasnt readyāso we broke up. I vowed to myself that this was the last time he was going to break my heart and I was never, ever, no matter what, EVER going to get back together with him, like I had a few times prior.
So, I turned to the 54 day Novenaā¦i donāt remember how exactly I stumbled across it, but I did; something called me to say it. I prepared myself fully for it, confessing before hand and with my whole heart and soul, I begged Mother Mary to remove this person from my heart, to eliminate him from my mind and heart, if the intention was for him to not be in my life anymore- I begged, every night. I also submitted myself completely to the will of God. I told Mother Mary, constantly, that if the Lordās will is for me to be alone in this life, but unite with love and life in the paradise of heaven, then so be it. I remember praying the sorrowful mysteries and submitting myself that night- I felt it in my gut; I was prepared for whatever the Lord wanted for me.
On day 20, January 26th 2020ā¦guess who showed up at my doorstep? Noncommittal, heartbreaker 44 year old, with 2 dozen roses in his hands; just standing there, like a lost puppy.
(quick background; I am a 30 year first generation immigrant- I live at home with my mother and father; he had NEVER met my father prior to this and NEVER even been 2 miles within my homeā¦this was a BOLD move.)
