Desperately need prayers

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All my dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you once more for your continued prayers. Mom and I are in Florida now in a rented apartment. It took 3 nights to get down here due to my back problems and driving. Joe did not spend the night at the house before we left. He did show up the day the movers were there and had his sons with him to “protect his interests”…I didn’t take any thing that wasn’t mine or mom’s. He did not say good bye and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done to drive away. I left him a note but decided at the last minute to take it away because …well because i just don’t know why. Mom left a nice note telling him she had always thought of him as her own son and had tried to treat him as that. I called him when we got here to tell him I loved him (and I do) and how worried I was about him. His son stayed with him the first night but then Joe made him leave because he (joe) was afraid his son (thte addict) would steal his pills like he did mine. The conversation was nice but he didn’t say he loved me. I called again yesterday and he said he was moving into an apartment if he could find someone to loan him the money (750 sq. ft for 1200 mo on the 3rd floor)…I asked him to please think about our marriage vows and what they meant and he could always come down here to a cancer center. He just said maybe 2, maybe 8 maybe a 12 months he’d think about it. I am looking everywhere for a job and still trying to get medicaid for insurance. Mom has an appt next week with the heart doctors. She paid for the move down here and her savings are pretty much gone. I’m worried sick about Joe. Today I left 3 messages but he didn’t return any calls. He had a chemo appt and they may have to put a port in because they couldn’t get to a vein last week. Guilt is overwhelming for me. I have to say that I’m sustaining each day due to your prayers. God is making me a very strong person and somehow I’ll make it all work as far as living goes. I am seeing our priest at the parish we went to this week and trying to get into C atholic Charities for some counseling. Please pray for Joe. I am just devastated over everything and feel such guilt for leaving. I talked to his brother today and his brother said he wasn’t loaning him any money…joe made the choice so he could live with the consequences. I am getting a new email address tomorrow so I have to figure out how to make the changes on the forum. I was surprised I could still get this up and running but I worked all day to get to leave this for everyone. You guys have been my rock and my strength…and please know you’re in my prayers EACH TIME I PRAY (which is pretty often)…I love you…diane
 
Diane, I am holding you up in prayer. Please forget the guilt! He left you, not the other way round. You have bent over backward. Any guilt is his, assuming that he is even thinking straight. Again, you, Joe and your mom are always in our prayers. Amen!
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
I’m sorry for this suffering, Diane…I’m praying for you and your family!
 
I am so glad that you posted. I was wondering about you, Joe and your mom. I know how hard it is to be away from Joe, but you are a strong woman and you and your whole family continue to be in my prayers. I will pray that you find a job and that you will find some help through Catholic Charities. Continue to pray and know that you are loved by all here on the forum. May God be with you!
 
Dear Diane, I know you feel guilty but you didn’t desert him. He emotionally abandoned you some time ago. If anything, what you are doing is to give him a chance to sort out his priorities. You are giving him a chance to think about whether he wants to be a good husband or not. You’re even givng him a chance to think whether he can love another person, you. He doesn’t act in any kind of way that indicates he is capable of loving but that he just seeks his own interest in everything. Some people seem incapable of genuine love. Your leaving him when he was practically kicking you out anyway, may be his only chance of waking up to how valuable you are and how love-worthy, and to how negative and destructive he has been. I ask God to find a way into Joe’s heart that whatever blocks him from being unable to love except in his own interests, can be exized and healed.

You and your Mom have been loving and faithful and generous. What a lovely person you mother must be from all you’ve shared. Tell her that this lady way across in Australia says so!

You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers every day…
 
Thanks for posting Diane …
Yes it’s a hard time, but you are a strong woman.
praying for you to find Job.
 
Trishie said:
Dear Diane, I know you feel guilty but you didn’t desert him. He emotionally abandoned you some time ago. If anything, what you are doing is to give him a chance to sort out his priorities. You are giving him a chance to think about whether he wants to be a good husband or not. You’re even givng him a chance to think whether he can love another person, you. He doesn’t act in any kind of way that indicates he is capable of loving but that he just seeks his own interest in everything. Some people seem incapable of genuine love. Your leaving him when he was practically kicking you out anyway, may be his only chance of waking up to how valuable you are and how love-worthy, and to how negative and destructive he has been. I ask God to find a way into Joe’s heart that whatever blocks him from being unable to love except in his own interests, can be exized and healed.

You and your Mom have been loving and faithful and generous. What a lovely person you mother must be from all you’ve shared. Tell her that this lady way across in Australia says so!

You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers every day…
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What she said. And yes, thanks for posting Diane !
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Lord, please help this family stay strong in thier faith and relieve their health and financial problems. Jesus, please bless them and keep them safe. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Amen
 
I agree with what Trishie said, too, Diane. And you are all still in my prayers.
 
Once again thank you my dear friends for your continued prayers. This morning I called Joe and we did not have a very nice conversation. He reiterated he hadn’t been in the “marriage” since the first year. He said some other rather nasty things and bottom line is he is staying there. I tried to talk to him about his life. None of us have a stamp (expiration) anywhere on our bodies. Only God knows how long we have on this short earthly life. Even though I have not been diagnosed with cancer doesn’t mean I may not get hit by a car or pass away this afternoon. It is the quality of time we have that really matters. I asked him to talk to a priest but I doubt he will do that. I told him I always placed God first in our marriage and that I loved him more than anything else. He couldn’t say the same thing to me. The conversation ended with me not calling him anymore. I can’t control or change how he feels but he pretty much has the tennis ball in his court and it was up to him to do what he needs to do. I DID talk to the priest today and felt much better after the conversation. He said (reconfirmed as you all did) that I did not do anything wrong and I need to take care of myself and mom. Mom talked with Fr Luis also. I guess i just needed to hear that reassurance from him that I am not at fault (although Joe says I am) for “abandoning” him when he has cancer. I feel better tonight than I have in a long time. I can’t explain it but there is just a calmness that is present within me. I called my old boss and he asked me to send him my resume. He doesn’t have a secretary so I’m hoping he asked for it to see if he could help me out. At this point minimum wage sounds pretty good to me. Medicaid is probably going to turn me down for insurance because I don’t have any young children. Food stamps are $24/month but at least that is something. I don’t know how to express the love and gratitude I have for all of you for your prayers but I feel like my heart and head are starting to “mesh” together and everything is going to be ok. Please pray for Joe. I tried my best to get him to get some more information about how the chemo is affecting his state of mind and decisions he is making. Of course I will always love him (he says he is not getting a divorce) and will be concerned for his well being. I love all of you. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love you so much. Diane
 
Dear Diane, Your peace is your assurance that you have acted in the Will of God. It won’t be easy but you have made a positive move and step by step you will gradually begin to walk out into the Light of Our Lord. We will all continue to pray for you, Joe, and your Mom. But where you have made the decision for Life, Joe will also have the opportunity to make the same decision. All three of you are in my intentions in eight rosaries daily so God will hear the desires of our hearts!

_______________

Remember,
O most gracious Virgin Mary
that never was it known
that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help
or sought thy interecesion,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins, my mother;
to thee do I come
before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful,
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in thy mercy,
hear and answer me.
Amen,

**_____________________ **
 
diane, just read your post for the first time. i will keep you and joe in my prayers.

Immaculate Queen of Peace, pray for Diane and her family.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Sometimes I think that what happend with you is a step for changing your life. I pray that you find a job.
 
My the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ - that peace which He leaves us, His peace which He gives us, be with you and restore you in spirit after this trial of your faith. Amen! Alleluia!
 
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