Devout Catholic dad returns home from Afghanistan to find daughter is a porn star

[Nacho45]

Not my cup of tea for a job, but I’m lucky in that I don’t need to do this to get a good standard of education hence I’m not going to criticize her for it.

Not pleasant, but I can see the reasons. We can talk about state college as much as you want but the sad truth is an employer will always favor qualifications from an elite institution.

No one needs to do this to get a good standard of education. There is no justification for turning to porn for college any more than there is for becoming a prostitute or a drug dealer, especially when there are a variety of suitable options available to avoid the them. The only difference is one is legal. Wrong is wrong and porn is wrong.

 

[Catherine_S]

“I can say definitively say that I have never felt more empowered or happy doing anything else!
In a world where women are so robbed of their choice, I am completely in control of my sexuality.
As a bisexual women with many sexual quirks I feel completely accepted.
It is freeing, empowering, it is how the world should be!”**…
So be it…when the consequences come and come they will…perhaps she will learn.

 

[VanSensei]

Not my cup of tea for a job, but I’m lucky in that I don’t need to do this to get a good standard of education hence I’m not going to criticize her for it.

Not pleasant, but I can see the reasons. We can talk about state college as much as you want but the sad truth is an employer will always favor qualifications from an elite institution.

True.

There are other options for her to pay through college that involve her staying at Duke, If she has the ability and academic prowess to attend a prestigious school like that, she should go and not pass off the opportunity.

 

[Celvice]

No one needs to do this to get a good standard of education. There is no justification for turning to porn for college any more than there is for becoming a prostitute or a drug dealer, especially when there are a variety of suitable options available to avoid the them. The only difference is one is legal. Wrong is wrong and porn is wrong.

Exactly, it’s legal. She’s not out robbing any banks, or assassinating anyone to make her money and whoever sees these videos are having to go out of their way to search for them online. It’s her choice (and that of her…I don’t know how to describe them, fans?) to make, leave the girl to it.

It’s mighty fine for some of us to make moral judgements from up high in our comfy ivory towers, but none of us really know what options if any this girl had.

The fact she’s at university, trying to better herself and be able to take a different career path says a great deal to me. I daresay she put a deal of thought into doing this and didn’t just decide one day to reveal all so…Her business, not mine.

 

[smichhertz]

Such a tragic situation for everyone involved. I hope and pray that their daughter comes back to the light. I do like that one quote in the article “nothing is irreparable”. It seems like the family has the right attitude, or at least that woman does.

I think if I were in this situation I’d respond like that. Let your daughter know that you still love her, but make it clear what she’s doing is very wrong and unhealthy. I’d try to let her see how hurt I am by it, and that I want her to stop.

Prayers for her and her family!

 

[Sarcelle]

Not my cup of tea for a job, but I’m lucky in that I don’t need to do this to get a good standard of education hence I’m not going to criticize her for it.

Not pleasant, but I can see the reasons. We can talk about state college as much as you want but the sad truth is an employer will always favor qualifications from an elite institution.

However if an employer has a choice between an applicant with a degree from an elite institution and another applicant with a degree from another elite institution but with a porn star background, guess who the employer would chose.

I have employers tell me that background checks are standard and they tend to avoid hiring someone with even a whiff of scandal about them.

 

[Captain_America]

markomalley said : "[Are you] Not upset? I can’t even visualize the possibility."

Yes, I can tell you are Upset, by the 6 times you mentioned that you were upset (or suggested that we need to be Upset).

Certainly most parents would not be Happy to hear that their Daughter is a Drug Addict … or, a Prostitute … or, a Porn Star.
I see why dear-old-Dad might be Shocked-Angry-and-Horrified about his “Little Baby” having sex on TV… but he isn’t.
This is especially so, because his neighbors may get to see her Naked in the Video.

But, you seem to stretch it out MUCH further than that, by talking to me (and the others on the Forum) like I am un-Human for NOT being Upset.
Personally, I do not mind that a girl needs to work in order to put herself through College (and a good College at that).

And, if she decides to star in a Porn movie, then that is her choice of Employment.
I am pretty sure that she gets paid MUCH MORE than if she was flipping burgers at McDonalds.

So, she works a few hours a month, and lives like she was working full-time at a decent Job.
This makes it much easier for her to do her Class Time and her Homework.

A different (and perhaps Better) Question to ask is : Are you Happy that this girl is acting in Porn Videos?
To that, I would say NO … I am NOT Happy about it … just understanding.

If she was my Daughter, I would feel sorry for her, more than allowing myself to run around being Upset about it.
(I would probably feel guilty for NOT having enough money to put her through College.)
Then, I would Pray that after she stops making Porn videos that she “gets over” any Guilt she feels for doing them.
Lastly, I would hope that can find a good husband one day, and live out the rest of her Life in a more-Normal manner.

This is goofy.

 

[Sarcelle]

Exactly, it’s legal. She’s not out robbing any banks, or assassinating anyone to make her money and whoever sees these videos are having to go out of their way to search for them online. It’s her choice (and that of her…I don’t know how to describe them, fans?) to make, leave the girl to it.

It’s mighty fine for some of us to make moral judgements from up high in our comfy ivory towers, but none of us really know what options if any this girl had.

The fact she’s at university, trying to better herself and be able to take a different career path says a great deal to me. I daresay she put a deal of thought into doing this and didn’t just decide one day to reveal all so…Her business, not mine.

There are always consequences to one’s action and I fear that some of them may not be good for her.

But you are right. It is her choice and her decision, all we can do is pray for her.

 

[AnneTeresa]

I started to watch part of the interview with Pierce Morgan and couldn’t finish it. This is sickening. If this was my daughter I would be appalled and ashamed. She has been brainwashed and thinks that what she is doing is great!

Many of the women in porn are poor and desperate. Not here. She chose to go to Duke rather than a community college or state college which costs far less. The apparent joy she takes in evil makes me feel ill. I will pray for her and her family… let’s pray for all young people who are being brainwashed.

I cannot for the life of me understand people who think this is not a big deal, it’s her choice. etc.

 

[on_the_hill]

She has been brainwashed and thinks that what she is doing is great!

I didn’t watch.
But in my experience, it is often a natural reaction to defend oneself in an oppositional manner, especially in very emotional situations.

I remember lots of times when my dad was critical of me for a decision or a behavior, and I would frequently throw it right back at him: “You’re right! I’m a bad guy! And I don’t care! I like being bad!”

 

[Cirdan_XII]

No, those Afghan guys are fighting for their own power base and their ability to shut women up in their homes, run roughshod over society, pillage with impunity and then hang women who have been convicted of “impurity” because they were forcibly gang-raped.

Our society has problems to be sure, but don’t compare it to the travesty that is the Taliban.

I don’t want to defend the Taleban.

When you must chose between two evils, and you have no choice but to accept one, it may be OK to accept the lesser of those evils.

But sometimes people are blinded about choices and come to believe that the lesser of two evils is actually good, and are then surprised when it does evil things to them.

 

[MacBP]

Not my cup of tea for a job, but I’m lucky in that I don’t need to do this to get a good standard of education hence I’m not going to criticize her for it.

Not pleasant, but I can see the reasons. We can talk about state college as much as you want but the sad truth is an employer will always favor qualifications from an elite institution.

Exactly, it’s legal. She’s not out robbing any banks, or assassinating anyone to make her money and whoever sees these videos are having to go out of their way to search for them online. It’s her choice (and that of her…I don’t know how to describe them, fans?) to make, leave the girl to it.

It’s mighty fine for some of us to make moral judgements from up high in our comfy ivory towers, but none of us really know what options if any this girl had.

The fact she’s at university, trying to better herself and be able to take a different career path says a great deal to me. I daresay she put a deal of thought into doing this and didn’t just decide one day to reveal all so…Her business, not mine.

I suspect she put much less thought into this than you might expect. The young woman in question is aspiring to be a lawyer, and if there is one way to shoot your law career in the foot it would be to participate in pornography. What advantage she has gained for going to Duke (essentially none, if the admissions process for law school is the same as the admission process for medical school) was lost in her choice of summer(?) job.

Furthermore, if our standard of morality is assassination and armed robbery, we’ve in a fairly desperate situation. What’s particularly troubling is her participation in so-called rough sex videos (essentially videos depicting violent and aggressive sex). For a woman who has (commendably) gone on record to criticize rape culture, I find it ironic that she produces a product which encourages the very behavior she seeks to eliminate. If young men spend their spare time watching videos which depict women as enjoying being degraded, harmed and humiliated, how surprising is it that these same young men come to tolerate the same behavior when it happens in real life?

It’s wrong to say that pornography does harm society. At the very least it leads to an increase and intensification of women. It’s probably doing a lot more than that. Both men and women deserve better than porn.

However if an employer has a choice between an applicant with a degree from an elite institution and another applicant with a degree from another elite institution but with a porn star background, guess who the employer would chose.

I have employers tell me that background checks are standard and they tend to avoid hiring someone with even a whiff of scandal about them.

Completely true, especially when considering a career in law.

 

[Origen52]

Not my cup of tea for a job, but I’m lucky in that I don’t need to do this to get a good standard of education hence I’m not going to criticize her for it.

Not pleasant, but I can see the reasons. We can talk about state college as much as you want but the sad truth is an employer will always favor qualifications from an elite institution.

Being in the sex trade is not just an unpleasant job, it is demeaning and dangerous. This is just one article on its devastating effects.

**WARNING SOME GRAPHIC LANGUAGE **

huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/19/porn-hiv-penis-bleeding_n_3944401.html

I strongly suggest anyone who thinks working as a porn actor is just a temporary job choice read this article. Sadly, there are a lot more occurrences of this nature.

 

[Origen52]

No, those Afghan guys are fighting for their own power base and their ability to shut women up in their homes, run roughshod over society, pillage with impunity and then hang women who have been convicted of “impurity” because they were forcibly gang-raped.

Our society has problems to be sure, but don’t compare it to the travesty that is the Taliban.

What proof do you have about the gang rapes and pillaging? I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that any charge should be supported with documented evidence.

 

[Celtic_Maiden]

First, I don’t want to judge, but common sense leads one to assume that '“devout parents” would be appalled and do anything they had to do to help their child pay for college. Secondly, how many college students in the US are burdened by high loans? if all of them turned to the sex industry to help pay their loans, sex workers would be making less than fast food employees. Thirdly, porn movies are not what they used to be. Sex is no longer simulated, condoms are not used, and every orifice is free game. I won’t go further for decency, but this girl is not just parading nude for the camera.

Her God is money and what the best can offer, this is not Catholic teaching. When I became Catholic my parents threw me out of the house with just the clothes I had on, as I wanted to lead a Catholic life, porn did not enter my head, I took jobs cleaning people’s houses, while I was looking for a Office Job which I had been training for. She could have taken some other job, and gone to a different and less expensive College, porn stars are prostitutes, they are selling themselves, plus it degrades women into looking like a piece of meat. Most teenagers don’t carry on like this thank God, who have been brought up to know better, respect yourself, your parents, even get a job in a Garage or McDonald’s .
At least one would not get syphilis or disease . What man in his right mind would want to know someone who has let herself be used as a litter bin.

 

[LightBound]

What proof do you have about the gang rapes and pillaging? I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that any charge should be supported with documented evidence.

After over a decade of hearing, reading, and seeing videos in the news about the atrocities of the Taliban, you actually want someone to start posting links on these things for you just because you think something that is as well known as their crimes against women and most of humanity needs some documented evidence? Did you just get computer access or do you not have a television?

Well, considering the graphic nature of the topic, I’m not about to risk an infraction, suspension, or ban by posting links to the articles and videos that show such things, but you can most certainly type in the words “taliban atrocities” or taliban atrocities against women" on the web search engine of your choice and read and watch until your mind is content with what is going on.

 

[Cirdan_XII]

I suspect she put much less thought into this than you might expect. The young woman in question is aspiring to be a lawyer, and if there is one way to shoot your law career in the foot it would be to participate in pornography. What advantage she has gained for going to Duke (essentially none, if the admissions process for law school is the same as the admission process for medical school) was lost in her choice of summer(?) job.

Furthermore, if our standard of morality is assassination and armed robbery, we’ve in a fairly desperate situation. What’s particularly troubling is her participation in so-called rough sex videos (essentially videos depicting violent and aggressive sex). For a woman who has (commendably) gone on record to criticize rape culture, I find it ironic that she produces a product which encourages the very behavior she seeks to eliminate. If young men spend their spare time watching videos which depict women as enjoying being degraded, harmed and humiliated, how surprising is it that these same young men come to tolerate the same behavior when it happens in real life?

It’s wrong to say that pornography does harm society. At the very least it leads to an increase and intensification of women. It’s probably doing a lot more than that. Both men and women deserve better than porn.

Completely true, especially when considering a career in law.

I guess she is assuming that

1. people won’t recognise her. If you don’t know a person well and see a picture of them at 19 and another of them at 40, with what accuracy could you be sure its the same person?
2. seeing she’s using a stage name, potential employers can’t google her
3. these films are shortlived, seeing the rate at which new material is produced

All three of these are assumptions that can create a sense of false security.

I guess a problem is that she wasn’t just seeking to pay the bills but was seeking to live a good life focussed on instant gratification. This is the problem. Most of us made tough sacrifices when we were in education and so came to appreciate the good things in life all the more when we were finally able to afford them. Easy money is destroying all that and creating people who will never appreciate how good they have it and will never act with the modesty that comes with that.

 

[runwaymodel]

She choose a temporary solution over long term results. I truly feel bad for her. Potential employers will know of her background and I don’t know too many ex porn workers that have done well in the business world. They always spiral downhill.

She should have taken out student loans like the rest of us and kept her morals in tact. Especially if she trying to get into the legal profession as an attorney. It’s hard enough trying to climb the ladder of success and executives that consist primarily of men when you have a tarnished background of porn. I understand people can be desperate for money, but to me it just sounds like she is trying to justify her actions by downplaying the immorality and rational reality of it all. Any loving parent would be ashamed, but I can see why/how they would publicly not admit it: to save her daughter some face. Let her keep so e dignity I suppose.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

While I would be horrified if this were my daughter, I don’t think this is life ruining.

I know several people who worked in porn in college (and even more who were strippers). Because of the internet, it is possible to work in porn without being a part of “the industry” and dealing with drugs and other unsavory things. Most small companies pay under the table and don’t even require your real name. One girl I know who did porn now has a husband, MBA, and great career. The other just passed her actuary exam and makes far more than I will for the next decade at least.

 

[mommamaree]

While I would be horrified if this were my daughter, I don’t think this is life ruining.

I know several people who worked in porn in college (and even more who were strippers). Because of the internet, it is possible to work in porn without being a part of “the industry” and dealing with drugs and other unsavory things. Most small companies pay under the table and don’t even require your real name. One girl I know who did porn now has a husband, MBA, and great career. The other just passed her actuary exam and makes far more than I will for the next decade at least.

It is good to know that it is possible to have a happy, healthy, successful life after leaving the sex industry. A lot of young people do stupid (and/or sinful) things in a fit of youthful rebellion or even just to make ends meet. But the idea that this could follow her around for the rest of her life and restrict her ability to find a mate and a job just makes me sad. I totally disprove of pornography, and believe that both the creators and users of porn are committing grave sins, but the reality is that the female stars of porn are usually the ones who beat the brunt of society’s condemnation of it. Even as some within our society celebrate porn, and a great percentage consume it, most people still look down on the women who perform in the sex industry. I often wonder if it possible for them to ever leave the industry and find honest paid work and find a spouse who will love them and accept their past.
Hopefully, someday our society will reject both the creation and consumption of porn, and practice respect for the dignity of all human beings. Nobody deserves to be treated like an object. And it is wrong for human sexuality to be exploited for profit.