Devout Catholic dad returns home from Afghanistan to find daughter is a porn star

[markomalley]

When I think about this type of thing, or related things such as a strip club perfomer taking money so that any guy can grope her, I only see one thing. This is the ultimate consequence of the logic of deregulated capitalism, of the teaching that everything is a commodity and that everything that has a value also has a price.

This girl’s dad was in Afghanistan, fighting to protect that capitalist system under the disguise of defending freedom. He was fighting the religious guys there who are actually fighting back precisely because they don’t want Afghan women to one day act in porn films and dance in strip clubs.

And then he’s surprised that what goes around comes around?

I know a lot of you are going to hate me for having said this. But please think about it before flaming me.

So, let me see if I received what you sent: the dad is a war pig, so he deserves what he gets.

But, ultimately, it’s _______'s fault (I leave the name off, since politics are not supposed to be discussed outside of the “World News” forum…but you know exactly who I’m talking about, I’m pretty certain)

No flame for me. I served this country for 21 years in the military to protect peoples’ rights to express their points of view, no matter how abhorrent.

Very Respectfully,
War Pig MSgt, USAF (ret)

 

[on_the_hill]

She choose a temporary solution over long term results. I truly feel bad for her. Potential employers will know of her background and I don’t know too many ex porn workers that have done well in the business world. They always spiral downhill.

Based on nothing but my own intuition, it probably depends on where she seeks work. if she wants to work for a company that is on the edge, like GoDaddy, then they might welcome her. If she wants to work for Reader’s Digest, they might shun her.

As I am someone who makes hiring decisions, ultimately my interest is to find the staff who will be best for the organization in the long term. And “best” has different meanings.

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

It’s evident this girl doesn’t understand cause and effect. Nor does she understand that while it’s true as BlueEyedLady wants to point out that some women do make it out of that world in a good way, I can say with some authority that most of them don’t. I once lived in the San Fernando valley during my time away from the Church. During that time, I knew several people in the business on both sides of the camera and I can tell you from watching these people over a period of years that being in the industry is not a good thing for one’s long term prospects in the wider world. For every Jenna Jamison who makes it out, there are probably hundreds of sex workers, male and female, who don’t. It affects even the men and women who run the production companies and shoot the films. They might not be in front of the camera but their names are associated with the industry.

That said, the too bad part is that if she maintains her looks, some amoral guy will wife her up time from now and show her off as a trophy. (Didn’t we just have a thread about that?)

One last remark: it appears that the father embraced the college blue pill, “spare no expense” theme to college education. It was one thing to send his kids to that expensive high school, but he is reported as having sent his older son to study percussion at a very expensive private university. If someone I knew did that, I’d be shaking some sense into their heads. The tuition bubble cannot burst soon enough as far as I’m concerned but that is a subject for another thread.

 

[TK421]

While I would be horrified if this were my daughter, I don’t think this is life ruining.

I know several people who worked in porn in college (and even more who were strippers). Because of the internet, it is possible to work in porn without being a part of “the industry” and dealing with drugs and other unsavory things. Most small companies pay under the table and don’t even require your real name. One girl I know who did porn now has a husband, MBA, and great career. The other just passed her actuary exam and makes far more than I will for the next decade at least.

So going back to your first statement, why would you be horrified if this were your daughter?

 

[Nacho45]

Exactly, it’s legal. She’s not out robbing any banks, or assassinating anyone to make her money and whoever sees these videos are having to go out of their way to search for them online. It’s her choice (and that of her…I don’t know how to describe them, fans?) to make, leave the girl to it.

It’s mighty fine for some of us to make moral judgements from up high in our comfy ivory towers, but none of us really know what options if any this girl had.

The fact she’s at university, trying to better herself and be able to take a different career path says a great deal to me. I daresay she put a deal of thought into doing this and didn’t just decide one day to reveal all so…Her business, not mine.

There is no justification for porn…it’s wrong.

 

[SilverCamellia]

I think the worst thing is that the porn industry exists at all, whatever form it takes

 

[Celvice]

There is no justification for porn…it’s wrong.

In your opinion.

I personally don’t like it either, but I’m not going to criticize anyone for watching it because…

A) She’s chosen to do it
B) Her viewers choose to watch and in essence willingly take part in it
C) Nobody is forced to watch it

We can think porn is distasteful certainly and avoid it, but I disagree there is no justification for it. There is clearly a demand as there is a demand form little girls for Barbie dolls, and there are people clearly willing to meet it.

I think praying to mecca isn’t right and I wouldn’t do it, but that doesn’t mean I feel compelled to run out and start censoring copies of the Qu’ran.

 

[Origen52]

While I would be horrified if this were my daughter, I don’t think this is life ruining.

I know several people who worked in porn in college (and even more who were strippers). Because of the internet, it is possible to work in porn without being a part of “the industry” and dealing with drugs and other unsavory things. Most small companies pay under the table and don’t even require your real name. One girl I know who did porn now has a husband, MBA, and great career. The other just passed her actuary exam and makes far more than I will for the next decade at least.

When you commodity yourself you always suffer. It has nothing to do with religion, You demean yourself and the way you see others. Internet porn never goes away, so unless she worked masked, her past will come back to haunt her. In the business world the rules of past behaviour are very different for women than they are for men.

 

[Nacho45]

In your opinion.

I personally don’t like it either, but I’m not going to criticize anyone for watching it because…

A) She’s chosen to do it
B) Her viewers choose to watch and in essence willingly take part in it
C) Nobody is forced to watch it

We can think porn is distasteful certainly and avoid it, but I disagree there is no justification for it. There is clearly a demand as there is a demand form little girls for Barbie dolls, and there are people clearly willing to meet it.

I think praying to mecca isn’t right and I wouldn’t do it, but that doesn’t mean I feel compelled to run out and start censoring copies of the Qu’ran.

No, it isn’t just my opinion. Porn is wrong.

 

[Origen52]

In your opinion.

I personally don’t like it either, but I’m not going to criticize anyone for watching it because…

A) She’s chosen to do it
B) Her viewers choose to watch and in essence willingly take part in it
C) Nobody is forced to watch it

We can think porn is distasteful certainly and avoid it, but I disagree there is no justification for it. There is clearly a demand as there is a demand form little girls for Barbie dolls, and there are people clearly willing to meet it.

I think praying to mecca isn’t right and I wouldn’t do it, but that doesn’t mean I feel compelled to run out and start censoring copies of the Qu’ran.

Society is constantly protecting people when they chose to do self harming activities. We must wear seat belts, motorcycle helmets, recreational drugs are illegal, I could go on and on. Somehow it is only when women “freely” choose to demean themselves that everyone shrugs their shoulders and says it’s her choice.

 

[GaryTaylor]

You demean yourself and the way you see others.

Really its the bottom line. least she’ll have the income to invest in her recovery, hope the denial is quick to fall. Could be an emotional and financial tragedy also.

 

[Origen52]

While I would be horrified if this were my daughter, I don’t think this is life ruining.

I know several people who worked in porn in college (and even more who were strippers). Because of the internet, it is possible to work in porn without being a part of “the industry” and dealing with drugs and other unsavory things. Most small companies pay under the table and don’t even require your real name. One girl I know who did porn now has a husband, MBA, and great career. The other just passed her actuary exam and makes far more than I will for the next decade at least.

Anecdotal evidence is ultimately meaningless. Can you provide statistics on the number of women involved in sex trade who have earned MBAs, or even graduated college? “I know…” really tell us nothing. I know someone with stage four pancreatic cancer who’s still doing well after five years, that doesn’t mean 98% of other patients won’t die in the first two years.

 

[on_the_hill]

She exercised her free will and made a bad decision, at least from a moral perspective.

In other words, she sinned.

History is packed full of people who do bad things and then find themselves on the road to Damascus.

 

[Cirdan_XII]

Anecdotal evidence is ultimately meaningless. Can you provide statistics on the number of women involved in sex trade who have earned MBAs, or even graduated college? “I know…” really tell us nothing. I know someone with stage four pancreatic cancer who’s still doing well after five years, that doesn’t mean 98% of other patients won’t die in the first two years.

Even statistics can be pretty meaningless as it comes down to who your control group is and what precisely you measure.

Can students in general be your control group? Shouldn’t making more money in fewer hours leave you more time to study and hence boost your results? Thus even doing just as well as other students would be a negative result here.

Students in general with an income equivalent to somebody in the porn industry while working the same hours? I challenge you to find sufficient examples to populate a meaningful statistic.

Ultmately, I think people don’t do this randomly. Some people would refuse such a job and others would accept. Some people are stickers and try to get ahead through hard work and perseverence and sticking to what they do even in the face of adversity. Others are cheap opportunists seeking instant gratification, and are quick to bail out wheh the going gets tough. People seeking instant gratification maybe don’t have the stamina to see something through when it genuinely gets difficult. Maybe they would have dropped out of college even without their porn career getting in the way?

Statistics ultimately prove what you want them to prove. I would thus argue against porn on grounds of morality, not of statistics.

 

[The_Bucket]

It is good to know that it is possible to have a happy, healthy, successful life after leaving the sex industry. A lot of young people do stupid (and/or sinful) things in a fit of youthful rebellion or even just to make ends meet. But the idea that this could follow her around for the rest of her life and restrict her ability to find a mate and a job just makes me sad. I totally disprove of pornography, and believe that both the creators and users of porn are committing grave sins, but the reality is that the female stars of porn are usually the ones who beat the brunt of society’s condemnation of it. Even as some within our society celebrate porn, and a great percentage consume it, most people still look down on the women who perform in the sex industry. I often wonder if it possible for them to ever leave the industry and find honest paid work and find a spouse who will love them and accept their past.
Hopefully, someday our society will reject both the creation and consumption of porn, and practice respect for the dignity of all human beings. Nobody deserves to be treated like an object. And it is wrong for human sexuality to be exploited for profit.

Very well said. This young woman’s terrible moral choices are on display to the world and will be available for anyone and everyone to see in perpetuity. How many more commit similar and even graver evils and never have to reveal it to anyone other than his/her confessor?

That’s why it is so crucial that we rightfully call out these actions as morally wrong and sinful and at the same time pray that she changes course… and that these actions do not end up permanently hurting her.

I mean, who in my real life knows about my pornography addiction? My family and my S-group. That’s it. And the people in my S-group don’t actually know who I am. It fortunately did not cost me my family and it most certainly has had no impact on my job or community standing because they don’t know about it. How nice for me that the “demand” side of the ledger is hidden while everyone on the “supply” side takes all the risks. All the more reason that the folks on the supply side need even more prayer and support.

 

[Origen52]

Even statistics can be pretty meaningless as it comes down to who your control group is and what precisely you measure.

Can students in general be your control group? Shouldn’t making more money in fewer hours leave you more time to study and hence boost your results? Thus even doing just as well as other students would be a negative result here.

Students in general with an income equivalent to somebody in the porn industry while working the same hours? I challenge you to find sufficient examples to populate a meaningful statistic.

Ultmately, I think people don’t do this randomly. Some people would refuse such a job and others would accept. Some people are stickers and try to get ahead through hard work and perseverence and sticking to what they do even in the face of adversity. Others are cheap opportunists seeking instant gratification, and are quick to bail out wheh the going gets tough. People seeking instant gratification maybe don’t have the stamina to see something through when it genuinely gets difficult. Maybe they would have dropped out of college even without their porn career getting in the way?

Statistics ultimately prove what you want them to prove. I would thus argue against porn on grounds of morality, not of statistics.

If you can’t believe any statistics, even after evaluating the process in which they were gathered, institutions funding the study, and how the statisticians guarded against bias, everything you hear or say is just an opinion based on random life experiences and existentially acquired prejudices. I’m glad you don’t work in medical research.

 

[Cirdan_XII]

If you can’t believe any statistics, even after evaluating the process in which they were gathered, institutions funding the study, and how the statisticians guarded against bias, everything you hear or say is just an opinion based on random life experiences and existentially acquired prejudices. I’m glad you don’t work in medical research.

You can’t really compare medical research, with its use of double blind studies and control groups to this type of study which didn’t use any such refinements.

 

[erine]

She exercised her free will and made a bad decision, at least from a moral perspective.

In other words, she sinned.

History is packed full of people who do bad things and then find themselves on the road to Damascus.

Thank you…maybe instead of trying to decide how “upset” we would be or not – let’s try to separate the people, here daughter and father, from their actions. Clearly the dad is trying to maintain detachment in order to keep the already dramatic situation from escalating further. Who knows if her defiance of societal norms would become even greater, if her father told the world how much he disapproves of her choices. How easily could a public chastisement by her father alienate her from him even further, and increase her clearly already rebellious streak thereby incling her to become even more committed to her deviant lifestyle. I’m sure the dad knows her better than we do and is using the best approach he knows. It isn’t his or any parent’s job in this case to “be upset” or show the world how upset they are (yes, of course one would be upset.). Rather his job is to try to help in the way that is most likely to save his daughter.

I think if he is a devout catholic we can presume he knows his daughter’s hoices are immoral and very dangerous, and likely as a military man he is focused first on controlling his emotions and then choosing the best course of action-/perhaps through trying to keep communication open with his daughter, and of course prayer, to find a solution.

I can’t tolerate when there is a person putting their soul in danger and we focus on showing others how much we disapprove, instead of praying and trying to reach the person.

I think we should pray that she goes down the St. Paul path; ie, has a profound conversion to the church and repents and goes on to be catholic and maybe be of service to some of the institutions that help women get out of that line of work.

Then as a catholic she could live under the grace of God and not the harshness of the Law / the fallen world, and could see herself as a human being with dignity and not just a girl who “likes” doing porn or an ex-porn star

 

[Cirdan_XII]

Thank you…maybe instead of trying to decide how “upset” we would be or not – let’s try to separate the people, here daughter and father, from their actions. Clearly the dad is trying to maintain detachment in order to keep the already dramatic situation from escalating further. Who knows if her defiance of societal norms would become even greater, if her father told the world how much he disapproves of her choices. How easily could a public chastisement by her father alienate her from him even further, and increase her clearly already rebellious streak thereby incling her to become even more committed to her deviant lifestyle. I’m sure the dad knows her better than we do and is using the best approach he knows. It isn’t his or any parent’s job in this case to “be upset” or show the world how upset they are (yes, of course one would be upset.). Rather his job is to try to help in the way that is most likely to save his daughter.

I think if he is a devout catholic we can presume he knows his daughter’s hoices are immoral and very dangerous, and likely as a military man he is focused first on controlling his emotions and then choosing the best course of action-/perhaps through trying to keep communication open with his daughter, and of course prayer, to find a solution.

I can’t tolerate when there is a person putting their soul in danger and we focus on showing others how much we disapprove, instead of praying and trying to reach the person.

I think we should pray that she goes down the St. Paul path; ie, has a profound conversion to the church and repents and goes on to be catholic and maybe be of service to some of the institutions that help women get out of that line of work.

Then as a catholic she could live under the grace of God and not the harshness of the Law / the fallen world, and could see herself as a human being with dignity and not just a girl who “likes” doing porn or an ex-porn star

He’s taken his story to the news. I’m not sure how to interpret that. I don’t think I would have done the same in his place.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

I’d probably act like John the Baptist … Hang out side and yell “Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand” untill she tossed me in prison and had me beheaded.

No education is worth selling your body to pay for it.