Did I consent to this lustful thought?

[Pieman333272]

I suffer from scrupulosity and intrusive thoughts relating to sin, especially lust. I know that just having the thought or even being aroused isn’t a mortal sin, but that one must consent to it with full knowledge. However, there is a case where I am unsure that has been causing me much trouble. I remembered a very heinous form of lustful thought that troubled me but I dismissed (only the description of it) to bring up to my psychotherapist (we were practicing exposure therapy for my scrupulosity), and then an image of it came to me; I was disgusted by the image but rather than turn away I tried to look at it objectively, like with my therapy but on my own. I did not delight in the thought (as in, I did not enjoy doing this or have a “would if I could” attitude), but eventually I lost nerve and started focusing on something else, although it flashed back briefly and I shook it off. I noticed I was a little aroused after too. I am worried I consented to the thought and am only doubting it now due to the horrible nature of the thought. How can I know if I consented to this thought?

 

[houston1]

I suffer from scrupulosity and intrusive thoughts relating to sin, especially lust. I know that just having the thought or even being aroused isn’t a mortal sin, but that one must consent to it with full knowledge. However, there is a case where I am unsure that has been causing me much trouble. I remembered a very heinous form of lustful thought that troubled me but I dismissed (only the description of it) to bring up to my psychotherapist (we were practicing exposure therapy for my scrupulosity), and then an image of it came to me; I was disgusted by the image but rather than turn away I tried to look at it objectively, like with my therapy but on my own. I did not delight in the thought (as in, I did not enjoy doing this or have a “would if I could” attitude), but eventually I lost nerve and started focusing on something else, although it flashed back briefly and I shook it off. I noticed I was a little aroused after too. I am worried I consented to the thought and am only doubting it now due to the horrible nature of the thought. How can I know if I consented to this thought?

Based on what you have described, this sounds like a temptation and not a sin. Remember. Temptations are attractive. So, it’s no wonder that you were aroused. You did not deliberately cause this arousal nor did you deliberately dwell on these sexual thoughts. The fact that you are concerned about your consent means that you did not fully consent to these thoughts. When in doubt, there is no full consent. So, be at peace.

I actually posted something a while ago on sinful addictions like masturbation and what constitutes deliberate consent for purposes of mortal sin. Fr. Angel wrote a blog on this. See the below two links. I use his commentary to apply his position on addictions to lustful thoughts.

I hope you find this helpful.

houston1

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=942000

fatherangel.tumblr.com/post/56107239155/mortal-sin-and-deliberate-consent

 

[OurLadysServant]

If in doubt confess it!

Based on what you have described, this sounds like a temptation and not a sin. Remember. Temptations are attractive. So, it’s no wonder that you were aroused. You did not deliberately cause this arousal nor did you deliberately dwell on these sexual thoughts. The fact that you are concerned about your consent means that you did not fully consent to these thoughts. When in doubt, there is no full consent. So, be at peace.

I actually posted something a while ago on sinful addictions like masturbation and what constitutes deliberate consent for purposes of mortal sin. Fr. Angel wrote a blog on this. See the below two links. I use his commentary to apply his position on addictions to lustful thoughts.

I hope you find this helpful.

houston1

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=942000

fatherangel.tumblr.com/post/56107239155/mortal-sin-and-deliberate-consent

 

[robertmidwest]

I am confused that you are seeking professional help (which is great!), but still posting on an internet forum. I absolutely guarantee that your therapist would tell you to STOP IMMEDIATLY. Make sure the next time you talk to him you inform him/her that this happened. This is the exact behavior you are working to get under control.

God knows that you were working with a professional to correct the behavior. Take comfort God’s grace and mercy. Put your effort into some type of behavior to occupy your mind.

 

[Genevieve_II]

Congratulations on doing the therapy!!! You looked at the thought objectively. Now, let it roll away like a wave. By evaluating it, you are fueling the ocd.

 

[houston1]

If in doubt confess it!

This statement is not always correct, especially for those who suffer from scrupulousity, like the OP. However, I agree with frequent confession and the OP should find a good confessor to help him through his struggles. The confessor will help the OP in a way that none of us can.

It is clear that the OP is greatly bothered by these thoughts and has taken the time and effort to post his questions on this Catholic forum. This shows that he cares about offending God.

As Fr. Angel indicates in the link that I attached in my original response (although he is talking about addictions which are presumably grave acts), his conclusion could be easily applied to unwanted sexual thoughts. Thus, a person who is trying to overcome an addiction, and say “lustful thoughts” in this case, through a pious effort of prayer/fasting and with a desire to break off the addiction does not have the disposition necessary for mortal sin.

If my logic is off, please let me know.

houston1

 

[friardchips]

I think for thoughts, making a good act of contrition is okay, but if it really was a long fantastical dream of lust that you invited in for ages then this could be brought up as “sinful/lustful thoughts” during confession. Making a distinction can be difficult sometimes as there are loads factors that come in to what is and what isn’t mortal. So instead of giving yourself a headache, work with a priest you trust who can help you on your journey of faith. Also, concentrate on others and never give up… …because I believe Jesus never gives up on us. Also, if you pray the Rosary you could ask for peace to be in your home.

 

[Ignatius]

I suffer from scrupulosity and intrusive thoughts relating to sin, especially lust. I know that just having the thought or even being aroused isn’t a mortal sin, but that one must consent to it with full knowledge. However, there is a case where I am unsure that has been causing me much trouble. I remembered a very heinous form of lustful thought that troubled me but I dismissed (only the description of it) to bring up to my psychotherapist (we were practicing exposure therapy for my scrupulosity), and then an image of it came to me; I was disgusted by the image but rather than turn away I tried to look at it objectively, like with my therapy but on my own. I did not delight in the thought (as in, I did not enjoy doing this or have a “would if I could” attitude), but eventually I lost nerve and started focusing on something else, although it flashed back briefly and I shook it off. I noticed I was a little aroused after too. I am worried I consented to the thought and am only doubting it now due to the horrible nature of the thought. How can I know if I consented to this thought?

I wouldn’t think so, but Why don’t you discuss this with your confessor.

 

[robertmidwest]

This statement is not always correct, especially for those who suffer from scrupulousity, like the OP. However, I agree with frequent confession and the OP should find a good confessor to help him through his struggles. The confessor will help the OP in a way that none of us can.

It is clear that the OP is greatly bothered by these thoughts and has taken the time and effort to post his questions on this Catholic forum. This shows that he cares about offending God.

As Fr. Angel indicates in the link that I attached in my original response (although he is talking about addictions which are presumably grave acts), his conclusion could be easily applied to unwanted sexual thoughts. Thus, a person who is trying to overcome an addiction, and say “lustful thoughts” in this case, through a pious effort of prayer/fasting and with a desire to break off the addiction does not have the disposition necessary for mortal sin.

If my logic is off, please let me know.

houston1

No, your logic is not off. The OP stated that he is in professional counselling though. I am sure by now he has discussed this many times with his confessor at least and probably others. It is time for the rubber to meet the road. He needs to stop ruminating and posting to anonymous people on the internet is not the way to stop.

 

[Rynard]

Bear in mind, thoughts come and go… I have grown to mediate my mind very well, but it takes practice. Bear in mind, if you’re going through therapy and practice with purpose and willpower, God will look upon this favorably because it shows that you care, unlike many people.

Basically, I hate to say this because it comes off offensive, and you’ve probably heard it before, but laugh at yourself.

I know a philosopher talked to an audience once about “objectifying” personal demons (not literal demons). Demons that take you by the gut and take control of your body and mind for a bit. It can be serious because it probably feels like a demon. But the point is, narrow it down in your mind to what it is… like, what might start it. Then take that, separate your emotional brain from your logical brain (I imagine taking my emotional brain and holding it under my foot for a bit) and with your logic, look at the thought and say, “You know, that looks stupid and its useless for where I am going in my life.”

Our reptilian brain (from the triune brain model) can get out of hand sometimes. Just beat it up, and maybe try something physical to work out the bad juju.

 

[houston1]

No, your logic is not off. The OP stated that he is in professional counselling though. I am sure by now he has discussed this many times with his confessor at least and probably others. It is time for the rubber to meet the road. He needs to stop ruminating and posting to anonymous people on the internet is not the way to stop.

You are right. The OP needs to be at peace and just accept the advice he has been given. God will not hold him accountable if he relies on his confessor’s advice… no matter whether he disagrees with it. The fact that he is likely taking a poll of opinions and no one will say he’s damned should be concrete evidence that he’s not. Be at peace, OP.

 

[houston1]

Bear in mind, thoughts come and go… I have grown to mediate my mind very well, but it takes practice. Bear in mind, if you’re going through therapy and practice with purpose and willpower, God will look upon this favorably because it shows that you care, unlike many people.

Basically, I hate to say this because it comes off offensive, and you’ve probably heard it before, but laugh at yourself.

I know a philosopher talked to an audience once about “objectifying” personal demons (not literal demons). Demons that take you by the gut and take control of your body and mind for a bit. It can be serious because it probably feels like a demon. But the point is, narrow it down in your mind to what it is… like, what might start it. Then take that, separate your emotional brain from your logical brain (I imagine taking my emotional brain and holding it under my foot for a bit) and with your logic, look at the thought and say, “You know, that looks stupid and its useless for where I am going in my life.”

Our reptilian brain (from the triune brain model) can get out of hand sometimes. Just beat it up, and maybe try something physical to work out the bad juju.

I like your advice of “laughing at yourself.” I do this many times when disturbed by lustful thoughts… I pray to God laughing and saying, “Really, God, why is it that I can’t get over this? Dear Jesus, the ball is in Your court. I will bear this as long as You see fit even if it’s until the day I die.”