Did I really know?

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CaptainPrudeman

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My father has a rule at his house: No video games during the week. Up until a couple weeks ago, I’d regularly disobey it. Thinking about it, I can’t tell if I “knew” or not. I “don’t know” if I knew that disobeying my parents was a grave matter. However, I can’t tell if I’m trying to justify what I did and call it a venial sin and not mortal, or if I really truly didn’t know. The priest that regularly hears my confessions advised me not to come if I don’t have serious sins to confess (probably scruples he detected) and that means I can’t just go to confession to “cover my bases.” What should I do? Go, and confess to recieving communion during that time as well, or not go and convince myself that I didn’t know?
 
If you didn’t know something was a grave matter than it can’t have been a mortal sin. And especially if you experience scrupulosity then the rule to follow is in case of doubt, assume it was not a mortal sin.

But is disobedience to parents always a grave matter? I know that it is at least sometimes grave matter, but what’s weird is it seems there’s really no consensus among moral theologians as to when disobedience is a grave matter.

Old thread on here about whether disobedience is mortal:
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Disobeying parents mortal sin? Moral Theology
You yourself inferred that free will is bound by wiring. That is why your hypothetical has no value whatsoever.
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Yeah, I lurked there earlier today because I keep freaking out about it. I don’t know if it’s a grave disobedience, but I don’t know if that matters.

Honestly, I’m just worried I screwed up with God again and that I’ve been recieving communion for years sinfully.
 
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Knowledge is a requirement for mortal sin, so if you didn’t know it was a mortal sin, then you didn’t commit a mortal sin.
 
I don’t know if you knew.

I would recommend seeking the help of a priest or a spiritual director if you struggle with scruples.

With all due respect, and in my own humble opinion, while disobeying your parents and playing video games is a sin, I do not think it raises to the level of grave sin.

Then again, I prefer to think of sin as the failure to bother to love. You certainly did not love your parents perfectly in disobeying them, but did you fail to bother to love them?

In short, I would recommend trying to reorient the way you think about sin. When you feel like you’ve sinned, ask yourself whether you are failing to bother to love. We all fail to love perfectly, and we should be sorry when we fail to do so, but in my opinion, mortal sins fall under the failure to bother to love category.
 
Capta(name removed by moderator)rudeman said:
Thinking about it, I can’t tell if I “knew” or not. I “don’t know” if I knew that disobeying my parents was a grave matter.
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This, by nature, disqualifies it as a mortal sin. But it sounds like the Holy Spirit is bringing you to grow in faith, and that you have gradually become aware that it is very important to obey your parents.

This means your conscience is becoming more sensitive, which is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Remember also that, when you behave those who are placed in authority over you, even when it is something with which you don’t agree or don’t think is serious, God will richly bless your choice to obey. It shows Him that you can be faithful in small things, and He will make you faithful in bigger things.

Trust that your father made this rule for your benefit, and use it to benefit you as much as you can. Focus your time on doing things that will grow more spiritual fruit in your life.
Capta(name removed by moderator)rudeman said:
Honestly, I’m just worried I screwed up with God again and that I’ve been recieving communion for years sinfully.
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We are all people in process, and are judged by how much we know and understand. As we mature in the faith, our understanding about morals grows also. There is confession at every mass for venial sins before Eucharist. Make an act of contrition, and stop beating up on yourself!

Trust your soul to a faithful Creator! Ask the Holy Spirit to show you when you miss the mark because you desire with all your heart to please Jesus. Then let the HS do His job, and don’t try to play God for yourself. The HS will show you if you are wrong.

Use an examination of conscience, and if you are not sure, read the catechism, and if you are still worried, speak to a priest or spiritual director.
 
I don’t think I failed to bother to love them. This was the only rule I broke (mostly because I thought it was stupid) but I always make sure I’m on good terms with them and work to make them proud.

That being said, my main problem has always been discerning if I knew something to be mortally sinful. I can never tell if it’s just my brain trying to midigate my actions. I know now, I just can’t tell if I knew then.
 
Unlike everyone else that has answered you so far, I am having a really hard time believing that you “didn’t know” you were disobeying your parents. Not believable in this case. Sorry.
 
Oh no, I knew I was disobeying them. I just can’t tell if I knew it was a grave sin or not.
 
How would he know if I knew or not? I’m not trying to be difficult, just don’t see how it’d help outside of a confessional.
 
If he doesn’t know, how would a random group of people on the Internet know?
 
I suppose the real question I’m asking is, did I commit a grave sin?
 
Well, I won’t be able to see one until after my mission trip and they’re having two daily masses here. Should I speak to a priest on here?
 
Capta(name removed by moderator)rudeman

Mortal sins are hard to commit. You have to have knowledge and full consent of the will. Knowledge at the time of the act that you are seriously offending God and knowing by doing so your are setting yourself apart from God. At the time of the act you have to fully want to do it and offend God in a serious way. In my view, you didn’t even come close. But you have to decide. Look we are all sinners so get use to it. Fight against sin but know that we are weak. In fact, we have to be repentant sinners to get to heaven. Concentrate on good deeds and strengthening your will.
 
I’m mainly worried about recieving communion later. Getting a lot of mixed signals, and I’m not sure who’s right and wrong.
 
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