Did/would you ask your father to walk you down the aisle at your wedding?

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I figured this deserved its own topic, though people have been discussing it in a topic about Christian and Catholic approaches to femininity.

Some posters have stated that they find the traditional “father walking the daughter down the aisle” to be inappropriate for a Catholic wedding, yet many have also stated that this occurred during their own weddings, and no one thought much of it.

However, apparently this is NOT actually part of the Catholic wedding rite, neither is a Catholic priest supposed to ask “who gives this woman to be married”.

Now, many who hold to this tradition actually hold a definite belief system that sees women as chattel property of the family patriarch, who is literally “given away” to her husband to become the husband’s property.

But I suspect most just find it a sweet tradition for a father to walk his daughter down the aisle.
 
I didn’t do this at my wedding. It’s similar to when men ask their partner’s father for his permission to propose. I find it all very sexist.
 
My intended wants us to walk down together, and I was thinking of having my dad walk me down. I haven’t decided yet.
 
My dad escorted me down the aisle. He did not “give me away.” I liked that he was included in the procession. It’s not as if he was front-and-center for much of anything else! 😃
 
I think that my father would want to walk me down the aisle. I really don’t think it’s as much about what I want to do as much as that it would make him very happy to do so. I really don’t care either way.

I don’t know if my father is going to still be alive at my wedding time. But if he is, he probably will do that.
 
I walked down the aisle with my soon-to-be-husband. I have seen this at several other Catholic weddings, as well as women escorted by both parents.

The only time I have seen what is considered in the US as “traditional” father-escorting-bride is at non-Catholic weddings. A couple times I have also observed that the bride walks down alone.

ETA: Both my father and my father-in-law escorted my mom and MIL down the aisle as part of our wedding procession. Bridesmaids were also accompanied by groomsmen (so everyone walked in as pairs). I appreciated the symmetry aspect, though obviously it’s not required that this be the way it’s done or that there are an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
 
My dad walked me down the aisle, and then kissed my cheek before my wedding to my DH.

There wasn’t any “who gives this woman”

I loved my Dad very much, and It was very bittersweet because my dad passed away just a few months later.

It is permitted as wedding custom as are other customs.

He walked me down the aisle, he did not give me away.
 
When my husband and I had our marriage convalidated, my father escorted me down the aisle, but didn’t “give me away.”

It was more to honor my father than for any other reason.
 
As several others have reported, my bride’s father walked her down the aisle, but did not “give her away”.

In a Catholic ceremony it is extremely appropriate for the bride and groom to process in together – As in every other liturgical procession, the minister of the sacrament (in this case: the couple themselves) process in last.

tee
 
I walked my parents down the isle to their seats and my wife walked her father. It wasn’t a possession thing. We did it in part to symbolize us bring our families together.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
My dad walked me down the aisle, and then kissed my cheek before my wedding to my DH.

There wasn’t any “who gives this woman”

I loved my Dad very much, and It was very bittersweet because my dad passed away just a few months later.

It is permitted as wedding custom as are other customs.

He walked me down the aisle, he did not give me away.
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This is what we did. He walked me down the aisle and gave me a kiss on the cheek. No mention of giving me away.

My husband also didn’t talk to my parents before proposing. (Though I think everyone knew it was coming 🙂 )
 
My dad did, although it was not a Catholic wedding. I would love it if I were able to have him walk me for a convalidation someday, too. Still praying for my husband’s conversion.

I think it is up to the bride and groom to decide how to walk into Church. From my knowledge of Middle English literature, Catholic weddings during that time (in England at least) took place at the Church door. So, I would imagine how people walk in can change.
 
The only Catholic wedding I’ve been to was my own…interestingly enough.

I’ve never seen a father “give away” the bride.

My parents were married in a Catholic wedding and there are pictures of both of my Grandparents escorting my mother down the aisle.

I always knew I wanted my dad to escort me down the aisle, “give me away” whatever the nuance is.
Basically, I wanted something “traditional” because I love my dad and wanted him to be involved in the procession.

I had no idea, until I started posting here, that it’s not Catholic teaching to give the bride away. The priest who married us never mentioned it and the Church ladies that organize weddings just wanted to know what we wanted.

It wouldn’t have worked any other way.
My oldest daughter was 6 weeks old when we got married and my mom was the one tasked with her wellbeing while we got married.
My husband would never have agreed to walking down the aisle with me.
He was nervous enough standing in front of a large crowd and was able to cope well enough by not wearing his glasses.
Walking down the aisle would have given him a very close look at the crowd that was there.
He was far more comfortable with everyone watching me and not him.

I also didn’t want to walk by myself down the aisle because that would have been to awkward and distracting…I wouldn’t want to trip or be embarrassed.
 
ToeInTheWater said:
However, apparently this is NOT actually part of the Catholic wedding rite,
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Correct. The processional calls for the bride and groom to process together. However, the groom can be escorted by his parents and the bride by her parents. We chose to each be escorted by our parents in the processional.
ToeInTheWater said:
neither is a Catholic priest supposed to ask “who gives this woman to be married”.
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It’s not a matter of “not supposed to” it’s a matter of “does not”. That isn’t in the Rite at all.
ToeInTheWater said:
Now, many who hold to this tradition actually hold a definite belief system that sees women as chattel property of the family patriarch, who is literally “given away” to her husband to become the husband’s property.
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The idea of the bride as property is not a “tradition”, not a Catholic one anyway. It has never been part of the Catholic marriage rite. Consent on the part of the bride dates to ancient times. The Catholic understanding of marriage is different from the pagan.
 
Loly_Maria said:
I didn’t do this at my wedding. It’s similar to when men ask their partner’s father for his permission to propose. I find it all very sexist.
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My Dad asked my (future) Grandmother for permission to propose to my Mom (her Father had died about 12 years earlier). My mother walked down the ailse alone. (I’ve never married) 🙂 🙂
 
This is an interesting thread. I’ve been to a lot of weddings in my long life, most of them Catholic, and the father (or an older brother/uncle) of the bride escorted her down the aisle at every one. The only exceptions were two Jewish weddings.

DH walked DD down the aisle; seeing it made me cry. They love each other very much. It made him so proud.
 
I was going to say my dad did - then suddenly I wasn’t sure! I asked my husband, but he couldn’t remember either. I’m going to have to look for the wedding pictures to see what we did. 😃
 
My dad died six weeks before my wedding. My mom walked me down. The priest did ask her who gives me to be married and my mom answered “Her father and I do”. I was honored to have him present in spirit. Instead of the “Mary devotional” I opted for a memorial song and prayer to Joseph in honor of my dad.
 
Had I a dad, I would have asked. 😦

I got my teenaged son to walk me down the aisle, and my younger daughter would like her father and her stepdad to both walk her. ❤️
 
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