Different views on Forgiveness in Christianity?

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I wonder if there are differences between the teachings of the Catholic Church and the understanding of non-Catholic Christians on the topic of forgiveness. Are there?

How can I share the Catholic understanding with others in a way that shines light on forgiveness that may not be shared by our separated brethren? With my friends who struggle with forgiveness, I witness with my own experiences with forgiveness, and I’ve prayed for years for their softened hearts, but feel a persistent tug to help them find the peace of Christ that comes with a heart of love and mercy, not hate and resentment.

Maybe there is no theological difference. In that case, I’ll take general advice!
Humbly,
TF
 
:hmmm:

my mother is devout baptist and has always held a grudge and anger towards her older sister. i was insisting one day (when she was being very harsh with her 79 year old sister) that she should forgive things that happened over 50 years ago and she haughtily explained to me that she had forgiven her but that didnt mean she had to forget all that happened.
my figuring on forgiveness is to forgive and live in peace and harmony not forgive and harp on the rest of your life…i dont think it is the proper forgiveness at all and in no way think this is a Baptist thing. i know this doesnt answer your question but it is a view from a Catholic in training from a Baptist…
 
Hi, glad you ask. Having left the church for a baptist one, and now returning I think I have a leg to stand on here. My wife being baptist herself this question comes up. There is a difference in the Protestant approach. They believe that by making a statement of faith in Christ as their personal savior, that constitutes a spiritual re-birth. This for them means that all sin is forgiven at this moment, they are now saved, their name forever etched in the book of life and that nothing from that moment will separate them from God. They often use expressions such as “before I got saved,” etc.

Nowhere is this actually supported by scripture. Jesus put it this way “truly truly I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.” John 3:5. He is stating that we must be baptized. This removes all sin to that point in our lives.

In Paul’s letter to the Hebrews, “for this reason, it is necessary for us to observe more thoroughly the things that we have heard, lest we let them slip away.” (Heb 2:1) If all sin is forgiven when Jesus is confessed as lord, why does Paul exhort the church to closely observe the teachings of the church? He is clearly stating that while one may have his sins forgiven, he can also sin gravely later in life by choice, and give up his salvation in favor of sin. It is for this reason we have 2 other sacraments to help us in our struggle against sin and temptation: reconciliation and the Eucharist.

We are not the church of “the saved,” rather rather a people who daily recognize our need for His mercy. I hope this helps. God bless.
 
If we forgive without also forgetting, we have not truly forgiven. This is not an either/or proposition, but rather, a both/and. We are to emulate God and He remembers our sins no more (Heb 8:12, 10:17). Yet, those sins must be forgiven us before He will remember them no more. Our Lord commanded us to forgive others so that, in turn we may be forgiven (Luke 6:37).

It occurs to me that, since the Sacrament of Penance was rejected by most communions, other replacements have slipped in among their beliefs. We have the sinner’s prayer which many recite as a form of ersatz confession. We have the altar calls, which can also be used for the same purpose. Some evangelicals believe that Jesus’ blood automatically forgave all sin - a dangerous (and even sinful) presumption.

In every recorded scriptural case of Jesus forgiving sin, i.e. Matthew 9:2, Mark 2:5, Luke 5:20, 7:48, He told the sinner in so many words that their sins were forgiven. No one who confesses directly to God has ever heard those words, so they are assuming that their sins have been forgiven. What if they have not been, due to lack of repentance?

So many who seem to live or die by the words of Paul fail to note that he had a ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18). This testifies against the automatic forgiveness that so many preach. They seemingly take no notice of the fact that Paul was an ambassador for Christ - a much different role than a preacher or evangelist. It denotes authority, to include authority over sin (2 Corinthians 5:20).

Many modern bibles no longer support the notion that Paul forgave sins in the person of Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:10. As well, those who “confess directly to God” seem to elbow Jesus (our one Mediator) out of the way and appeal to the Father alone. There is nothing more comforting than hearing the priest (as with Saint Paul) absolve us of our sins in the Person of Christ, as an ambassador for Christ, and with the authority of Christ.
 
Good. Thanks, folks. The “once saved always saved” hadn’t occurred to me. It helps to have a perspective on the Evangelical/Baptist view.

This is a total jump, using rudimentary understanding and logic, so forgive me if this is off base:
If people take the view of Luther with regard to our being a pile of dung despite being cleansed/fully forgiven, could that explain the manner in which they “forgive” others, rather than fully forgive as is the Catholic view? I am close to some Evangelicals who continue to shun (after decades), gossip about, bad-mouth (not to me, I don’t enable that), and show real disdain for the person who hurt them, as if they were a pile of dung, despite insisting they have forgiven them. Actually, when the topic has arisen, as to whether they have forgiven the people they cut out of their lives, I have never heard “I have forgiven them.” They’ve instead said “I don’t hate so-and-so” and “there is forgiveness there.” <—actual quote…struck me as passive and arms-length. ??

It could be “once saved always saved” so it doesn’t matter.
It could be they’ve deluded themselves and twisted the definition of forgiveness.
It could be something else theological or poor exegesis of Scripture.

Is there any way to encourage them to see Scripture through a new lens, or understand this topic, because their failure to forgive is hurting so many people around them? I believe the Holy Spirit will do the work on their hearts but my conscience tells me to plant a seed. I do believe that with more prayer, the Lord will guide me, but perhaps he guided me here to ask. Have you seen any particular Catholic or non-Catholic approach work in the lives of Evangelicals who can’t seem to choose love over anger/resentment/hate??

In gratitude for your time,
TF
 
KEYS TO FORGIVENESS
BY: FATHER PAUL BOUDREAU

“What happened is that the prayer began to heal Theresa’s own heart. The more she blessed her tormentor, the more she was really able to mean it. Not only did it heal her own heart, it began to heal the distance between her and Monica. Who knows? Maybe in a thousand years they might become friends!”
+======================================+
[MHO]
Hate and anger are all consuming. It eats away at our health and joy for life. I forgive for several reasons.
  1. Who wants to carry around all that heavy baggage?
  2. I hurt myself, far more than I hurt them.
    3.Christ wants us to forgive others as we are, and have been forgiven.
  3. Hate and anger have a deleterious effect on your health. There are studies on this.
  4. Forgiving them does not absolve them from any “education” as I like to call it, or punishment, if you wish to call it, but if the are penitent, then they too can be healed in part. [as I understand it]
americancatholic.org/Newsletters/EDC/preview.aspx?id=238
 
TheFixer said:
Is there any way to encourage them to see Scripture through a new lens, or understand this topic, because their failure to forgive is hurting so many people around them?
Click to expand...
Yes! However, it is neither quick nor humanly satisfying: unceasing prayer.
 
po18guy said:
If we forgive without also forgetting, we have not truly forgiven.
Click to expand...
With all due respect, I do not agree with that. If a woman was sexually assault by her father when she was a kid, she can forgive her father. However, it would be foolish for her to forget. She should remember and not let her kids be alone with her father.

Not to mention, sometimes I forget about things but I am sure that if someone reminded me, I would be mad and struggle with forgiving:p

The Catholic perspective I have learnt from nuns is ‘Forgiveness is a choice. I choose to forgive’. We do not have to feel good about it and it doesn’t immediately take away the pain the other one caused us.
 
I agree that a certain amount of common sense must be exercised as stated in the sexual abuse example. I will say though that forgiveness is at it’s essence an act of love. By “forgetting” I think we should not bring up old affairs with the intent to shame someone. That is not love. If you tell someone you forgive them, that means it should not be brought up that they hurt you over and over again. That also frees yourself from the hurt in time. I have to agree though you seldom feel warm and fuzzy when you forgive right away.
 
TheFixer said:
Is there any way to encourage them to see Scripture through a new lens, or understand this topic, because their failure to forgive is hurting so many people around them?
Click to expand...
This is where the definition of forgiveness is important.

I agree that forgiving should not include forgetting in some instances. When you forget that a burner is hot and keep putting your hand on it, you have a very serious problem.

Are we talking about an incident that happened 50 years ago and isn’t being forgiven, or are we talking about ongoing repeated behavior that continues to this day?

Because if we’re talking about the first, then lack of forgiveness may be hurting others, but if we’re talking about the latter, then somebody is being victimized a second time by being expected to just shut up and offer themselves up for more abuse. If it’s the latter, then the person doing wrong needs to step up to the plate and stop their behavior, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and make amends, and everyone around needs to understand that maybe the relationship is irretrievably broken after years of abuse and that maybe it is the persecutor who should be held accountable for this, not the victim.
 
Anglewannabe said:
With all due respect, I do not agree with that. If a woman was sexually assault by her father when she was a kid, she can forgive her father. However, it would be foolish for her to forget. She should remember and not let her kids be alone with her father.

Not to mention, sometimes I forget about things but I am sure that if someone reminded me, I would be mad and struggle with forgiving:p

The Catholic perspective I have learnt from nuns is ‘Forgiveness is a choice. I choose to forgive’. We do not have to feel good about it and it doesn’t immediately take away the pain the other one caused us.
Click to expand...
I am certainly not suggesting that we retreat to a position of complete, total and utter naivete. We still have the responsibility to use prudence with those we love. This requires the taking of necessary steps. Sorry for my incomplete response.
 
Holyrood - In the cases that I’m bringing up, they are old things from decades ago and minor. Ex: An adult child won’t forgive a parent who made them clean their room and come home at curfew 30 years ago. Severed ties for decades and robbing grandchildren of a relationship. You can imagine how this affects all the cousins, aunts uncles, grandparents, etc. This is a pastor’s wife.
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As God would have it, yesterday we celebrated the feast day of St. John the gardener who was known to forgive always. He said you can think of forgiveness as a penance. It’s hard and you can “offer it up.”
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po18guy, Amen to unceasing prayers!
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esieffe - I love that!! Thank you for the excerpt. Printing and looking into further.

God bless you all and will you say a prayer for the Holy Spirit to soften the hearts of these friends of mine?
 
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