Difficulties Being Taken Seriously At Work

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ukelala91
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I do have a full-time position, just not the one I want. I basically had to beg to be considered for some kind of other work besides part-time teaching or I’d have to say no because I can’t afford to not work full time. So I always feel like if I act in any way ungrateful for the social media/web marketing side of my job, they’ll be like…well just be lucky you have a full time job. Granted, I am constantly told how good I am at social media marketing. I would just much rather be teaching.
 
Definitely not my situation. Actually the opposite–I’m in student loan debt and working really hard to pay for my wedding after I had emergency surgery and broekn down car last year. They know that. They know that I work hard and, essentially, that I can’t afford not to work for them full time. That could be a factor too–I can’t afford to leave, and they know that.
 
HomeschoolDad said:
In some circles, it seems like they want to see you mortgaged to the hilt, conspicuous consumption, “living large”, in debt for it all, and thus you need your job more than you otherwise would — in other words, in the same circumstances they are in themselves.
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This is honestly pretty ridiculous. I’ve never seen anything like this in my work career, which spans over 35 years.
 
I don’t think it’s ridiculous at all. Work cultures, demographics, social networks, the line of work you’re in, even regional differences — all of these vary.

I have observed, at times in my life when I really needed the job, if I let my prospective employer know this, it worked to my advantage. One time I just flat-out told the store manager (I’d been buying equipment from him during the summer for a hobby) that I was new in town, had bills to pay, and needed a job. I was working for him within a day or two.
 
Here’s what I want to ask. What’s a good way to ask it?
  • I have significantly more work, teaching, and educational experience than my colleage, so why does he always put himself in charge?
    • Why, when I was hired, was I told there were two-part time religion positions, only to have my colleague chosen to teach full time? While I admit the new hire is more qualified than I am, he was hired
    • Why wasn’t I considered to take over my colleague’s job when he announced he was leaving next year?
    • Is my colleague the head of the religion department, and if so, why, when I am much more qualified?
    • Why was he put in charge of department meetings?
    • What is my role, exactly, in both the theology and campus ministry positions?
    • What will my role look like next year-- will I have more classes? More responsibility in campus ministry? Both (my hope)?
 
Ouch! Student loan debt is basically indentured servitude — unsecured and can’t even be discharged through bankruptcy (there are exceptions). It is utterly obscene what has happened to the cost of education in the past 20-30 years. I feel very bad for anyone who has student debt.
 
It was a mistake both I and my parents made. I didn’t understand starting college what I was getting myself into.
 
You need to have a sit-down meeting with a supervisor. Just ask why you were passed over.
 
Well personally, I’d soften this a lot and not really even mention your colleague other than that he left.

I’d basically say “I’m really interested in a full time teaching position. I really love working here 😉. I’d like to know why I wasn’t considered for the position when my colleague left? I’d like to be considered for similar positions in the future. When will that future be?”
 
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These are good questions.

Make an appointment with your supervisor/principal, and ask first of all about the situation where you were hired in with The understanding that it was two part time religion positions. Then you found out that one of the people had actually been hired full-time, a person less qualified than you. Start there and then ask why upon his resignation were you not considered for the full-time position because you are qualified.

Just be very direct, and say I want to understand what my future is here and if I don’t have one you need to tell me.
 
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Thank you! That’s a good way to put it. I just want to make clear to him that I’m grateful for this community and this job–everything else about teaching is awesome.
 
Oh wow, this is great wording. Yeah, those are just my notes. I wasn’t planning on saying exactly that.
 
Ukelala91 said:
This is the worst part: he announced a couple months ago that he was leaving next year to join seminary. Rather than even consider me, the school hired an outsider to take my colleague’s campus ministry/full-time teaching job next year. It was implied this is because I’m getting married in June, as if that has anything to do with it. The outsider is a great guy and IS more qualified than me, but why was I never considered?
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It seems obvious that the first guy who was not very qualified and was hired for a year was probably given the position because he “knew somebody” and he was discerning seminary. They made a job for him so he could have something to do while he was discerning. It sounds like he was not great at this job, so it’s a good thing he is going. The school may also have learned from this experience and that is why they sought a much more qualified and nicer person to take over his job; for all you know they may have even told the first guy that his calling wasn’t really teaching and politely asked him to leave.

It also seems that this particular employer may have some biases against promoting a woman who will be married soon and having babies. It is also possible they had a past bad experience with same. But you won’t know for sure unless you ask the school and make known to them that you are looking for a place where you can go “up the ladder”.

My main concern with you wanting more responsibility is that they already hired a more qualified person than yourself to take the other slot, so perhaps there isn’t anywhere for you to “move up”. Because of that, and keeping in mind that they might indeed have some bias against married women/ moms working, you might want to quietly start looking for another position elsewhere.

Try to de-emotionalize this situation and just look at it in light of cold hard facts: You want a job that involves X, they’re not really facilitating or offering your a job with X, you need to go find one elsewhere. Simple as that. The reasons why they hired these other guys are not all that important if you’ve received good feedback in your own position.
 
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I think you should approach it in a way like this…

“Hello Boss, I was wondering… what things can I work on in order to be considered for a full time Theology teaching position the next time one is open?”

Asking like this will show that you are really interested in the position and that you are interested in personal growth.

Whatever way they answer should allow you to figure out what has been keeping you from the position.

Good luck and God Speed
 
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Ukelala91 said:
When I told my colleague that I will be asking for more responsibility in light of his leaving, he said I shouldn’t do that because I’ll probably get pregnant soon, and don’t I believe my primary vocation is being a mother? He has said many things to me hinting that he believes women should stay at home with their children.
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My guess regarding these comments is more that he/they assume you would want to take an extended maternity leave. In public schools, teachers often take 6 months to 1 year off from teaching. So my GUESS is that he was/is assuming that a Catholic Theology teacher, who is faithful to the teachings of the Church, would want to take just as much time off.

God Bless
 
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Ukelala91 said:
I do have a full-time position, just not the one I want. I basically had to beg to be considered for some kind of other work besides part-time teaching or I’d have to say no because I can’t afford to not work full time. So I always feel like if I act in any way ungrateful for the social media/web marketing side of my job, they’ll be like…well just be lucky you have a full time job. Granted, I am constantly told how good I am at social media marketing. I would just much rather be teaching.
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One thing to consider is that PERHAPS you are actually very good at your current role.

You mentioned that the person they are hiring is more qualified than you. So perhaps, the school saw this as a win-win. Get a highly qualified Theology teacher and not have to find a person to fill your shoes.

That’s why it’s important to talk to them about your career path and plans. You should set goals for career advancement with the school.

God Bless
 
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Really? Seven deadly sins because I feel like I’m being discriminated against? I think you missed the part where I said I WAS grateful. There is no sin in recognizing that I’m being pushed around and not taken seriously. There is no sin in wondering if there is a way for me to ask what I can do to merit a promotion. This is very hurtful and offensive, “seeksalvation.”
 
I know I am good at it. But, because I basically have two part time positions, they’ve basically set me in an advancement dead-end. I could never be a department chair as a part-time teacher; as a part-time web marketer, I am not the manager of anything. As a young woman with financial responsibilities looking to start a family in the near-ish future, I want to express that I want to get MORE involved here.
 
Isn’t that kind of offensive, though? And doesn’t that qualify as sexism or discrimination, if it’s true they passed me over for a promotion because of it?
 
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