Difficulties Being Taken Seriously At Work

[jack63]

Yes…it would be discrimination.

However, it’s not discrimination if you never let them know your career goals. They may think you are happy where you are and you are very good at your job. When it comes to socially interacting with your boss, they may not ask certain questions because they don’t want to get into this dilemma of “Is she going to get pregnant?”. “How do we manage that?”. I’d really give your supervisors the benefit of the doubt here…don’t immediately assume they intend to discriminate.

Also, it is a Catholic School, so they may actually have the right (and even an obligation) to give a man discerning for the priesthood some advantages with positions.

 

[phil19034]

Isn’t that kind of offensive, though? And doesn’t that qualify as sexism or discrimination, if it’s true they passed me over for a promotion because of it?

In a public school, yes. But remember, he was not technically your boss. You didn’t have this conversation with the Principal.

He may have said this as a friend, not from a place of authority.

I think you really need to simply schedule a meeting with your principal to discuss your career.

That’s it.

 

[phil19034]

I know I am good at it. But, because I basically have two part time positions, they’ve basically set me in an advancement dead-end. I could never be a department chair as a part-time teacher; as a part-time web marketer, I am not the manager of anything. As a young woman with financial responsibilities looking to start a family in the near-ish future, I want to express that I want to get MORE involved here.

OK, so please put yourself in their shoes.

They are a Catholic School, so right there, there are only so many people who are going to be willing to do your job. There are a great number of educators & web marketing people who are unwilling to work for a Catholic School because it is not their religion.

Also, the school might not be able to afford a full time web marketing person. Maybe, just maybe, you are better than the previous people who they have had in that position, so they know they can’t easily replace you.

Also, teaching/working in the Catholic Schools is more than just a job, it’s a ministry. Conservative Catholic Schools are going to view it more as a ministry than a job. In ministry, you do what the Church needs you to do.

However, if you really do not like what you are doing, or if you have career plans… you need to share those with your Principal.

But you also have to keep in mind that the school has to do what is best for them.

To be blunt: hiring someone who you say is more qualified than you should be a no brainer. Unless you directly asked to be interviewed for the position, they do not have to invite you to apply.

Where I work, there are promotions and openings all the time and they hardly ever invite anyone to apply (unless they really want that person in the role). It’s just the way the working world works. You have to take the initiative to let them know that you want the position and are willing to do whatever they feel is necessary to earn the job.

Additionally, you also have to be a team player and do what they currently need you to do. If they ever feel that you are not a team player, you can kiss the job you want good-bye.

So I will say this to you again… as someone who dealt with the same things during my 20s… show them that you are a team player, show them that you are willing to do whatever they feel is necessary to grow, and share with the Principal your career goals.

God Bless

 

[1ke]

And doesn’t that qualify as sexism or discrimination, if it’s true they passed me over for a promotion because of it?

Yes, absolutely.

 

[phil19034]

Ukelala91:

And doesn’t that qualify as sexism or discrimination, if it’s true they passed me over for a promotion because of it?

Yes, absolutely.

It does… however, she has NOT implied that this came from a person of actually hiring authority. The person who talked to her appears to be a colleague, not a person of authority.

 

[JanetF]

Do you think it’s worth respectfully asking why I wasn’t considered for taking over my colleague’s job next year, when he announced he was leaving?

In short, yes. Key being respectfully. You might start with, just gently asking if there is anything you can do to bolster your resume so that next time you might be considered for the position…

They should not be making hiring decisions based on things that they think might happen, and they shouldn’t be making decisions about your life without discussing them with you…assuming you’ll get pregnant right after marriage, etc. It happens, but it’s not right. If you get along well with your colleagues, you could gently bring up the subject and let me know in a respectful way, that it’s not appropriate for them to make those assumptions about people. Women are capable of being great moms while holding down full-time jobs, and the Church doesn’t team that we are required to stay home rather than working outside the home.

 

[Ukelala91]

It was actually both: my boss and my colleague.

 

[Ukelala91]

So I had my meetings.

First, my colleague and I were already scheduled to meet with the President (he’s the one who makes these decisions, although I plan to also go to the Principal, whom I get along with a lot more personally) and at this meeting President drops the bombsell that new-hire has decided to pursue another career, so once again they are looking for a campus ministry person.

My colleague (per usual) offers his sage advice and says “This job is very demanding. I think that if you added a family, or husband or something, to this situation it would become almost too much for one person. A young person might be a good fit, though.”

This was OBVIOUSLY a jab at me, and I was livid, but too afraid to say anything in front of my boss.

After he left, I asked to stay and speak with the President. First, I briefly expressed that my colleague often doesn’t involve me in major decisions and makes offensive comments about my getting married/possibly getting pregnant, and the President seemed to agree it was wrong. But nothing else was said about it.

I said that in light of new-hire backing out, I want to be considered. I expressed that after having adjusted to the position for a year, I feel this is a place I could see myself long-term and feel ready and capable of taking on more responsibilities. I also said I would like to teach more classes. He said they are still finalizing the schedule and need to see how many classes will need to be offered.

Next year, they are changing our schedule such that there is a need for two campus ministry offices in my opinion (our campus has two buildings). I proposed TWO campus ministers, both with slightly-less-than-full teaching schedules and shared responsibility for the campus ministry program. I said I would still do the social media. He really took to this idea, and seemed to agree it would be a great fit especially so you don’t have one person doing everything alone.

Ultimately, he said he would keep all this in mind and reiterated that he knows I want more responsibilities next year because I love this school and want to use my gifts to benefit it more. He praised my work with the social media, and I shared I have received positive teaching feedback from many. I think it went alright; he’s very reserved. He did not make any comments like “We didn’t consider you because you are getting married,” like he did last time.

 

[on_the_hill]

So you’re saying it’s probably my fault, that I’m not assertive enough?

You got passed over in favor of someone who put himself out there.
And maybe it’s not the strength of the assertiveness but the way you wield it. I don’t know. I’m just trying to come up with potential solutions you might find helpful.

 

[Irishmom2]

It sounds like you had a good meeting. You got your points across and the ball is in their court.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You admitted that the recently hired man is a good worker and more qualified than you. Doesn’t sound like good facts on which to argue discrimination.

 

[jack63]

Your meeting sounds good. May I make one small suggestion…

As always, be just a little careful with what you share online. I mean most people don’t really care what you say, and they are interested in helping and learning. However, sometimes you just never know who reads these forums. The world can be a weirdly small place.