Dilemma Regarding My Son's Confirmation

  • Thread starter Thread starter Celtic_Catholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

Celtic_Catholic

Guest
*I hope I’m posting this question in the right section. If not, I apologize.

My son will begin Confirmation prep next school year. I’m in a bit of a dilemma because I don’t really have anyone to confirm him. The close male Catholic relatives and friends I have don’t attend mass and haven’t for several years. And the men I am friends with who attend church are not Catholic. My uncle (who is heading towards his late 60’s) said he is willing to start attending church (eventually) so he could confirm my son. And that brings me to my question.

I understand that the gentleman who confirms a boy must be a practicing Catholic. However, how long does he need to particpate in mass before he could confirm a child? Does it vary from parish to parish? I would very much like to have someone younger confirm my son. And I know so many people but none of them qualify. I’m very distressed over this. And I’m also concerned that my uncle may not qualify either since he hasn’t attended church for quite a while. If he doesn’t, what are my alternatives?

Thank you for any responses.*
 
I’m not sure that I understand this completely. When you say that “the gentleman that confirms him must be a practicing Catholic” Well I would hope so as the duty lies in the Bishops realm. Now he can delegate that responsibility to the local priest; so I would hope that he is a practicing Catholic. I think you may be refering to his “sponsor”. So if that is the case, then ask one of the Knights of Colombus. I’ve seen this done before.

Its not like they will “sheperd” your son the rest of his life. Talk to your priest. He should be able to help.
 
The person who will confirm your son is your bishop. I believe that you’re talking about who will be the sponsor for your son.

The first choice for a confirmation sponsor is the person who was the godparent for baptism. If that person is no longer available or no longer suitable, then the requirements you need to keep in mind are:
  • Over the age of 16
  • Be a confirmed Catholic who has received First Eucharist and who leads a life of faith
  • Not bound by any canonical penalty
  • Not the father or mother of the person being confirmed
Think about someone who can be a role model of a practicing, faithful Catholic. If you don’t know of such a person, you might check with the pastor of your parish or the instructor for the confirmation class. Perhaps the parent of one of your son’s classmates or an older sibling might be available.
 
*Thank you. Yes, I do mean sponsor. I worded it incorrectly.

Actually, my uncle is the person who baptised my son but, as I mentioned, he no longer attends church. He said he is willing to start attending mass again for the purpose of sponsoring my son. Would he qualify if he starts attending mass now? Are there specific guidelines as to how long a person should be a practicing Catholic before he could sponsor a child?

Thanks again!*
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
The person who will confirm your son is your bishop. I believe that you’re talking about who will be the sponsor for your son.

The first choice for a confirmation sponsor is the person who was the godparent for baptism. If that person is no longer available or no longer suitable, then the requirements you need to keep in mind are:
  • Over the age of 16
  • Be a confirmed Catholic who has received First Eucharist and who leads a life of faith
  • Not bound by any canonical penalty
  • Not the father or mother of the person being confirmed
Think about someone who can be a role model of a practicing, faithful Catholic. If you don’t know of such a person, you might check with the pastor of your parish or the instructor for the confirmation class. Perhaps the parent of one of your son’s classmates or an older sibling might be available.
Click to expand...
Your son should choose his spoonsor based on the above regulations.

Start attending Mass again, go to Confesson and come back to the Faith. I worry about you and will pray for you.
 
I’m sure that the local parish guys would be glad to step in as sponsors, if you don’t know anybody suitable. If you have Knights of Columbus in your area, they probably do this kind of thing all the time. With any luck, your son will find a real mentor as well as a sponsor.

I was asked to be a sponsor once, and I considered it to be a real privilege.

Good luck!

Maureen
 
A boy in our parish did not have any family members he could ask, so he asked his principal, who is also the organist of our parish. She considered it an honor.
 
I am a Confirmation facilitator and there is a young lady in my class who had no one in her family so she asked me to be her sponsor. I am a male so it doesn’t matter on the gender of who your son picks. So check with your parish and see if maybe they can recommend someone who would be willing to take on that role. As was said above, I was honored to have her ask me so maybe your son can give someone in your parish the same honor… teachccd
 
kage_ar said:
Your son should choose his spoonsor based on the above regulations.

Start attending Mass again, go to Confesson and come back to the Faith. I worry about you and will pray for you.
Click to expand...
*I go mass regularly and have gone all my life. I attended a Catholic School K through 9. My child and I go to confession monthly. I actually teach 3rd Grade CCD. My son attended Catholic School for pre-school through 5th grade, now I cyber school him at home because I don’t want him exposed to immorality at public school. I live a very devout lifestyle and so does my child. So perhaps you misunderstood. I was talking about the people around me not practicing the Faith, not myself. But I welcome your prayers anyway. Thank you so much for your concern. 🙂

As for the wording - Yes, I misworded it. So often in my parish people say so-and-so confirmed Johnny. What they mean is “sponsored” not “confirmed”. So hearing that so often, I accidentally wrote “confirm” instead of “sponsor”.

Thanks to everyone for your advice.
 
Celtic_Catholic said:
*I hope I’m posting this question in the right section. If not, I apologize.

My son will begin Confirmation prep next school year. I’m in a bit of a dilemma because I don’t really have anyone to confirm him. The close male Catholic relatives and friends I have don’t attend mass and haven’t for several years. And the men I am friends with who attend church are not Catholic. My uncle (who is heading towards his late 60’s) said he is willing to start attending church (eventually) so he could confirm my son. And that brings me to my question.

I understand that the gentleman who confirms a boy must be a practicing Catholic. However, how long does he need to particpate in mass before he could confirm a child? Does it vary from parish to parish? I would very much like to have someone younger confirm my son. And I know so many people but none of them qualify. I’m very distressed over this. And I’m also concerned that my uncle may not qualify either since he hasn’t attended church for quite a while. If he doesn’t, what are my alternatives?

Thank you for any responses.*
Click to expand...
Talk to the Pastor first. They sometimes have a idea or two they will share.
 
when i was confirmed (3 years ago), my CCD teaching said that if she would be willing to be anyone’s sponser, if need be
 
Misread your post - I will still pray that your family comes back to the Faith 🙂
 
Forty-odd years ago, when I was confirmed, I was a student at my parish’s grammar school. The eight grades of the school had 1300 students (and they were all from our one-square-mile parish alone – yes, it was a different world…), with 160-180 in each grade. Thus, when one added in the members of the (annual!) confirmation class who were not members of the parish school, you were talking about a group of *confirmandi *who numbered about 250 kids. My pastor decided that if all those confirmandi had their own sponsors, you would soon take up almost half the seats in the church, and so, to allow for more room for grandmas and siblings, all the boys shared one sponsor, and all the girls shared another. To this day, I have no idea who it was that served as my confirmation sponsor (I never learned his name, nor saw the man before or since) – but I survived.

My point is to not recommend the practice chosen by my old pastor (I think it was a very poor choice, actually) but to point out that the identity of the sponsor is far less important than the disposition of the recipient, and the fact that the bishop actually confers the sacrament .
 
\My son will begin Confirmation prep next school year. I’m in a bit of a dilemma because I don’t really have anyone to confirm him.\

**The Bishop of the Diocese, or in his absence the Pastor, administers confirmation. You don’t have to find anybody to do it.

If you mean sponsor of confirmation, it’s really the choice of the confirmand, in this case your son and not you.**
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top