Dinner at someones home

[Namid]

My sister (Catholic) is going to an old friends (not catholic) house tomorrow. They are serving taco salads. She is worried because this is the 1st time this friend has had a get together at this friends house. She dosn’t want the friend thinking she isn’t clean or she won’t like her food by not eating her food. I was trying to find something I had read on this a few years ago in Ask An Apologist but couldn’t find anything. Anybody have any Ideas?

 

[lizaanne]

She can make a great salad without the meat. She does not have to be rude, just creative. If her friend asks her why she isn’t eating the meat, she can just tell her, it’s Lent and I don’t eat meat on Fridays, but don’t worry I’m sure the rest of the ingredients will make a wonderful salad!

~Liza

 

[Namid]

Sorry let me redo this a little taco salads were last month because i just brought up why not leave off the meat (sorry month behind)…This one she dosn’t know what they are having.

 

[lizaanne]

If they are friends she should be able to give her a ring or an email and tell her to not go to too much trouble for dinner because she’s not eating meat during Lent.

She is presumably not going there for the food, she is going to see her friend. Take the emphasis off the food and put it on the people. She just needs to be open and honest, and any friend would understand and not be offended.

~Liza

 

[kristie_m]

If they are friends she should be able to give her a ring or an email and tell her to not go to too much trouble for dinner because she’s not eating meat during Lent.

She is presumably not going there for the food, she is going to see her friend. Take the emphasis off the food and put it on the people. She just needs to be open and honest, and any friend would understand and not be offended.

~Liza

I second that! I ran into the opposite problem…I had some friends over on Tuesday, and one of them brought over some Sees candy…not realizing that I’m abstaining from chocolate!!! I didn’t say anything, just thanked her and put them aside. My husband is overjoyed…he gets to have the whole box to himself!

 

[msugeotech]

I believe you may dispense the abstinence requirement if it would cause great offense to others - in this case, her friend.

Someone want to check me on that?

I’ll see if I can dig something else up in the meantime.

 

[lizaanne]

I believe you may dispense the abstinence requirement if it would cause great offense to others - in this case, her friend.

Someone want to check me on that?

I’ll see if I can dig something else up in the meantime.

We are called to be witnesses - not polite house guests. Yes, it is possible to be both at the same time. But I would NEVER compromise my Faith just so I don’t offend someone. There are ways to handle this situation and not compromise.

My gosh - what in the world could ever be more important than living your Faith in front of your friends??!!

~Liza

 

[msugeotech]

Nevermind, I was wrong.

By the way, you can stop judging me and questioning my faith. It is not appreciated.

 

[1ke]

My sister (Catholic) is going to an old friends (not catholic) house tomorrow. They are serving taco salads. She is worried because this is the 1st time this friend has had a get together at this friends house. She dosn’t want the friend thinking she isn’t clean or she won’t like her food by not eating her food. I was trying to find something I had read on this a few years ago in Ask An Apologist but couldn’t find anything. Anybody have any Ideas?

Your friend should remind her friend that she is Catholic and this is Lent. That means no meat on Fridays. She should let her friend know this ahead of time. The friend should be able to accomodate this request very easily.

I don’t understand what the issue is.

 

[1ke]

I believe you may dispense the abstinence requirement if it would cause great offense to others - in this case, her friend.

Someone want to check me on that?

I’ll see if I can dig something else up in the meantime.

There is nothing in canon law that allows dispensation from the obligatory penance on Fridays of Lent for the reason you mention.

 

[msugeotech]

I know that now, after looking it up, that’s why I said I was wrong.

 

[Lil_Cat]

Please don’t shoot the messenger, but this was said in the bulletin a couple of weeks ago (and I quote):

Fridays of Lent are days of abstinence.

ABSTINENCE binds all persons who have completed their 14th birthday, unless prevented by poor health. On days of abstinence, the consumption of meat is not allowed. The Church strongly encourages this observance of Friday abstinence, but failure to do so is not regarded as sinful.

Clear as mud?

 

[lizaanne]

Nevermind, I was wrong.

By the way, you can stop judging me and questioning my faith. It is not appreciated.

Where did I judge you, or even mention you in my post? I was simply making a related comment. Question your faith? Sheesh.

~Liza

 

[quiet52]

Please don’t shoot the messenger, but this was said in the bulletin a couple of weeks ago (and I quote):

Fridays of Lent are days of abstinence.

ABSTINENCE binds all persons who have completed their 14th birthday, unless prevented by poor health. On days of abstinence, the consumption of meat is not allowed. The Church strongly encourages this observance of Friday abstinence, but failure to do so is not regarded as sinful.

Clear as mud?

Seems as if whoever put your parish bulletin together was doing some creative interpretation – and in the process has misled a lot of people.

The third precept of the Catholic Church is:

***You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season. ***

This “guarantees as a minimum the reception of the Lord’s Body and Blood in connection with the Paschal feasts, the origin and center of the Christian liturgy.”

beginningcatholic.com/precepts-of-the-catholic-church.html

Sad to say, there are many Catholics who like to think the Church’s laws (precepts) are not binding – including the first precept:

***You shall attend Mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor. ***

We must “sanctify the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord” (Sunday), as well as the principal feast days, known as Catholic holy days of obligation. This requires attending Mass, “and by resting from those works and activities which could impede such a sanctification of these days.”

“binding” means upon the pain of sin.

 

[redtech]

I would be upfront when I got the invitation and let them know that I couldn’t eat meat that day.

 

[HouseArrest]

If you don’t want to bother her with preparing something special just for you, (are others going, too?) then you could bring something and explain when you get there.

 

[maryjk]

If you don’t want to bother her with preparing something special just for you, (are others going, too?) then you could bring something and explain when you get there.

I actually have to do this all the time. I have a food intolerance. And very few people are willing to chance cooking for me.

So, when I get an invite, I explain the issue. I offer to bring something for everyone or just something for me. I gently remind the hostess, I am going for the company, not the food.

But I would explain BEFORE you get there. If she is making something steaks, you wouldn’t want her to buy and cook one that you won’t eat. (You being the OP, not HouseArrest.)

 

[sheilathebard]

People make separate things for vegetarians all the time. I really don’t think anyone’s likely to be offended! They’ve probably seen Catholics before, anyway …

However, I do think it’s possible, when meat is the only thing available to eat, to make another sacrifice. Still, I tend to think it’s better to stick with “no-meat” as it’s an easy sacrifice to remember and it’s a witness as well. Especially because I’m not 100% sure about the “make another sacrifice” rule.

 

[Col40]

I would start with the “oooh–it sounds lovely, but since this is Lent, would you be terribly offended if I enjoyed my taco salad meatless?” Let the hostess know that you’re quite happy to come over and enjoy their company otherwise.

Most of the time there are ways to work around the meat issue on Friday that allow you to still abstain. I think only once have I ended up having to eat meat on a Friday during Lent. I was stuck in an airport in the Caribbean for several hours because of a delayed flight. All of the food concessions were back in the area before customs, so that ruled that out (we didn’t know at the time how long we were going to be stuck or I would have planned that better), and the ONLY non-candy option was a hot dog vendor. Yea–I did it. I ate a hot dog during Lent. So if this makes me horrible…

I did email my priest one time when I was sick about eating meat–not that I was planning to eat meat perse, but because I was told to stick to a bland, clear liquid diet, and broth was one of my few options and it was chicken broth (vegetable broth would have made me feel worse…trust me). His response to me was go ahead and eat/drink what I needed to, just perhaps offer something else up when I felt better—or go to Mass an extra day. So I took that option.

 

[SDMom]

I believe you may dispense the abstinence requirement if it would cause great offense to others - in this case, her friend.

Someone want to check me on that?

I’ll see if I can dig something else up in the meantime.

I found this on the EWTN website:

" Those who are excused from fast or abstinence Besides those outside the age limits, those of unsound mind, the sick, the frail, pregnant or nursing women according to need for meat or nourishment, manual laborers according to need, guests at a meal who cannot excuse themselves without giving great offense or causing enmity and other situations of moral or physical impossibility to observe the penitential discipline."

(Source: ewtn.com/faith/lent/fast.htm)

Is this what you were referring to, msugeotech?