Yeees… sort of. Well, wholly, in fact, but I think perhaps you don’t understand what I mean. I agree, “personal conscience” did sound very Protestant and I feel silly for it.

I only phrased it in that way because I was afraid if I just said “conscience” flat-out I would give the impression that I was implying that for all my talk, I really do think you people receiving on the hand are doing something wrong.
I don’t think this is scruples. I had scruples as a young teenager, and I just don’t think this is it. What I’m getting at is that this is a big, important personal ‘devotion,’ if you want to phrase it that way. I’m personally opposed to me personally receiving on the hand, if that makes sense. And I agree that if I
were to receive on the hand, I would be doing absolutely nothing wrong, if it did feel against my conscience. The Church has okay-ed it.
But, for instance, the Church doesn’t require headcoverings. I still feel bareheaded when I go into a church without one. It’s something I feel strongly that
I should do, and while I wouldn’t be sinning by not wearing a headcovering, I would definitely feel that I wasn’t doing something that
I ought to do.
Girl altar servers are permitted by the Church. I never served. Whether the Church permits it or not, I couldn’t justify it for
me. The Rosary isn’t a required devotion, but I just don’t feel right if I omit to say it one day. The Church hasn’t issued any proclamations on how to dress, but some women don’t feel right if they’re wearing trousers. I’m not one of them (happen to be wearing trousers right now), but I do know how they feel.
It’s not a question of sin vs. no sin, not even for me personally. It’s just a question of what I feel particularly called to do and what I don’t, if I’m making any sense at all.
Yes, I’m unhappy about not receiving. But at this point, anyway, I’d be a lot more unhappy if I received in the hand. We’ll see how long this lasts, and we’ll see what happens.
I do very much appreciate your concern.

I think I’m okay on the scruples angle, at least though. My parents have had to deal with scrupulous kids in the past, and if they thought I was going overboard I think they’d be pretty quick to knock some sense into my head. I’ve talked to a couple others too, and from lay-people to priests they don’t see an issue with simply abstaining.
And, hey, if Father Z. feels that it’s all right for us to just abstain, I feel fairly safe about it.