Discerning and accepting God's will

[francesca_gen]

Have you ever seen the Mary Tyler Moore Show? (Her character is a single girl who never marries, by the way.) Remember the openning song? “Love is all around, why don’t you take it?” Well, love is all around you. Here is what my thoughts are for you at this time. Don’t wait for that one special love to make you feel less alone. Look around you and take the love that is already here. Love is in the sound of a child’s laugh. Playing peek-a-boo with the baby in front of you in line at the grocery store. Love is having a dog look up at you with its big brown eyes and wag its tail. Love is in the song of the birds in the morning, the sun on your face, the cool breeze, and people saying hello. It’s all around. Just open your heart and let God pour in the love of all his creation.

Make a point to spread love, because you will feel it when you do. Don’t worry about being shy, because this is your right - get and give the love you deserve. Don’t worry about being alone. Live day to day as if you are not alone and you have the love of everyone and everything created by God. Keep giving little things that you can, smiles and words of encouragement, hellos and good mornings. …

If you feel like you really need someone to talk to about this, look into Catholic Charities. I received wonderful counseling though them when I needed it.

Yeah, I saw tons of MTM when I was young – it was on in syndication every day when I was in grade school. I do see the wisdom of your words… like I said, I know the unhappiness is now a vicious circle! I need to learn to break it and to be joyful and loving as a rule, not an exception. I do have knee-jerk self-pitying responses – for instance, I was closing up my sliding glass doors the other night, saw a lovely sunset over the houses across the street, and felt a stab of sorrow at not having someone to share it with. I checked myself, and told myself that a) God was there and b) in human terms, I was allowed to just enjoy it by myself, too!

This sounds like a no-brainer, but my heart goes off on its own way, leaving my intellect behind sometimes.

A priest recommended Catholic Charities to me. I sent an email last week and didn’t hear back, but I’m going to try again. Thanks!

Francesca

 

[francesca_gen]

Don’t be intimidated by really good writers. They need us moderately good writers to make them look spectacular. Othewise, they’d be out of a job!

LOL!! True!

And I know one doesn’t improve, and perhaps become a really good writer (or whatever) if one doesn’t practice.

Don’t worry about not having someone to love and care for. It’s a lot lonelier to do those things for someone who doesn’t appreciate them.

This touched a nerve. The last year or so of my marriage, my husband barely spoke to me, for anything. Certainly not if I wanted to talk about why he wasn’t talking to me. He appreciated my cooking, and he wasn’t physically abusive or anything, but a year’s worth of silence is horrible. And although our breakup was hideous for me, in the end I agree that I am much happier not falling all over myself, turning cartwheels to try to win attention and approval that would never be forthcoming.

Remember, God appreciates you every minute and knows the value of your efforts to please Him.

Yes… it’s amazing, isn’t it??

Francesca

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

Francesca gen,

Be patient with Catholic Charities and keep trying. With any counseling you have to speak to an intake worker first and sometimes it can feel a little bureaucratic having to go through that. Once you get assigned a counselor you will start to feel relieved! Try not to call when you are really feeling lonely or hurting because I know it can hurt more when you are trying to get help but you feel like you are getting stalled. Just try to look at it like any other business call.

I was in a relationship a few years ago where I was kept at arm’s length much of the time. It was a pretty long relationship too. I finally indentified what he was doing as abuse. Emotional abuse. I sort of figured it out on my own. But by then I was deep into it and playing my own part as well.

A year’s worth of silence is indeed abusive. Add to my above experience that I spent my childhood with one of my parents giving me the silent treatment for one or two weeks at a time, and (although I can’t say I went through through what you have) I kind of know where you are coming from.

When I was involved with the man I spoke of sometimes I would have these romantic evenings looking up at the moon and stars by myself, but it all seemed so special because I was thinking of him and it was like he was with me. Yet, the reason he wasn’t would be just because he didn’t like the particular place I wanted to go! As long as I didn’t ask him to go with me and we didn’t fight over it, I could enjoy things as if he were there. And I would even talk about it with him later, so it actually felt like we shared these things. But, if we fought and he pushed me away or said mean things to me and I went to the same place and experienced the same things I felt terrible. Almost robbed. It was so hard communicating with him that I wrote letters to him, which seemed to help change some behaviours, yet he never really responded to those letters in writing or in words.

We broke up because of a bad misunderstanding. And when I tried to clear it up at least enough to be friends, he told me that he never loved me. I went through hell with my feelings about that. But, through counseling and the love of my family and with God’s grace and the healing power of time, I feel so much better. With every year it gets better. I knew I was really doing well when all I could think of when I thought of him was, “I’m so glad I’m out of that.” In fact, I would find myself smiling and repeating it to myself aloud. I’m about a decade older than you and sometimes I get pretty teed off thinking of all those years in my forties that he made me waste! (Although I did play my part.) And I haven’t married yet. But, then again, life is not over! I’m still young looking and I have my health. Don’t give up, because the worst is behind you! I wish I was in my forties again, so I actually see you as the lucky one! But, we are both lucky because we leave behind the ones who didn’t love us well and we have life and opportunity ahead of us.

 

[minkymurph]

I definitely don’t disagree with you. I just don’t think I’m enough of a mystic (or sufficiently spiritually mature, maybe that’s it) to be able to be content without any human companionship. Having said that I think I need to learn to widen my conception of “human companionship” and stop insisting it needs to be that one special person.

Have to disagree with you. It’s perfectly natural to feel alone and isolated when we are and nothing to do with spirtuality or mysticism. I think that people who would claim God alone is enough for them is either deluding themselves or plain anti-social. Jesus himself desired the companionship of others; it is a basic human need and one we were created with. God created us to be a community of believers, not individuals who were all alone with him. I suppose though, there are people who are happy with their own company, but everyone feels the need for human companionship and love to some extent and it differs at different points in your life. It may help to think of Christ’s passion. At the time he needed people the most there was no one there. He closest friends all left him. Only his mother and John were at the foot of the cross.

 

[brigid12]

Have to disagree with you. It’s perfectly natural to feel alone and isolated when we are and nothing to do with spirtuality or mysticism. I think that people who would claim God alone is enough for them is either deluding themselves or plain anti-social. Jesus himself desired the companionship of others; it is a basic human need and one we were created with. God created us to be a community of believers, not individuals who were all alone with him. I suppose though, there are people who are happy with their own company, but everyone feels the need for human companionship and love to some extent and it differs at different points in your life. It may help to think of Christ’s passion. At the time he needed people the most there was no one there. He closest friends all left him. Only his mother and John were at the foot of the cross.

I agree with you on some points here. In fact I’ve been thinking of this recently. I wonder if we haven’t been sold a “bill of goods” by our society that being emotionally healthy means enjoying your own company almost solely. I enjoy my answering to noone else and being able to do what I want when I want without worrying about anyone else, but I think that is more selfishness than emotionally healthy maturity! Statistics say that there are a number of countries with lower ages at marriage however those same countries often have much lower divorce rates than the US, too. Maybe a risk for divorce is getting married too late. 'Course that would mean a loss of money for so many!:ehh:
And, humans are certainly social creatures. Communities and families are much more in line with our make-up.
That said, there are some great Saints who’ve been able to live as hermits and who I would doubt are selfish or emotionally immature.
It just depends on what God calls you to, I think.

 

[minkymurph]

I wonder if we haven’t been sold a “bill of goods” by our society that being emotionally healthy means enjoying your own company almost solely. Statistics say that there are a number of countries with lower ages at marriage however those same countries often have much lower divorce rates than the US, too. Maybe a risk for divorce is getting married too late. That said, there are some great Saints who’ve been able to live as hermits and who I would doubt are selfish or emotionally immature.
It just depends on what God calls you to, I think.

We do live in a society were individualism and doing your own thing, answering to no one is very much promoted and the spirit of self sacrifice is considered ridiculous. I was married young and am still married after 20 years. If I’d run him over with a car I’d be free by now :extrahappy: but seriously, I think when you marry later in life, your more set in your ways and less able to adapt to living in close proximity with someone. When your young you don’t know any better We also live in a society that expects other people to make us happy all the time. I wonder what would happen if you took one of your kids back to the hospital and said, ‘I don’t like this one anymore, can I have another one that behaves better and does what I say?’
Those who lived solitary lives for the purpose of deepening their relationship with God to me must have been called to it and able to live a solitary existence because God gave them the grace to do so.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

I find that I am more adaptable at my age now than when I was in my 20’s, even though I have traveled and done things alone. I don’t live alone. I live with family and I see sisters and extended family alot. Actually, sometimes I just want to go somewhere and be alone! Through all the changes in live, from what happens with your family and friends, to what happens in your work life, the older you get the more you learn to adapt to others and to adjust.

 

[minkymurph]

the older you get the more you learn to adapt to others and to adjust.

In a sense yes but living with someone day in and day out in a marriage is different, particularly if you marry when your older. I find myself more adaptible and adjustible in one sense, but in another I find I can’t suffer fools as gladly as I did when I was young. I just can’t be bothered. I would also say I need the approval of others a lot less now than I used to.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

In a sense yes but living with someone day in and day out in a marriage is different, particularly if you marry when your older. I find myself more adaptible and adjustible in one sense, but in another I find I can’t suffer fools as gladly as I did when I was young. I just can’t be bothered. I would also say I need the approval of others a lot less now than I used to.

I kind of see your point. For me, I think living with a husband would be way different, judging from how I see other women I am close to behave sometimes. I suppose it’s all a matter of style, though. I sometimes will receive comments from my sister or a friend that sound like they have no choices in certain things. The sort of comment that sounds like you’ll find out. Yuck. Yeah, if it’s like that -if you lose your independance and have to go where he goes when he says so because he’s walking ahead of you and he makes the decisions - I can’t be bothered either. But, on the other hand I have had long term relationships where I was the decision maker. So maybe we get what we expect.

 

[brigid12]

I kind of see your point. For me, I think living with a husband would be way different, judging from how I see other women I am close to behave sometimes. I suppose it’s all a matter of style, though. I sometimes will receive comments from my sister or a friend that sound like they have no choices in certain things. The sort of comment that sounds like you’ll find out. Yuck. Yeah, if it’s like that -if you lose your independance and have to go where he goes when he says so because he’s walking ahead of you and he makes the decisions - I can’t be bothered either. But, on the other hand I have had long term relationships where I was the decision maker. So maybe we get what we expect.

Reading lives of the Saints who were nuns it seems as if obedience and humility are the biggest obstacles. That’s probably true with marriage, too (I’ve had the experience of marriage but not either obedience or humility). I know I have much clearer and firmer ideas of what’s right and what’s wrong (doubtful that they are correct, except my devotion to our Lord and His Church) now than when I was 20-30 years younger. I think I would be a “challenge” to live with.

 

[francesca_gen]

Have to disagree with you. It’s perfectly natural to feel alone and isolated when we are and nothing to do with spirtuality or mysticism. I think that people who would claim God alone is enough for them is either deluding themselves or plain anti-social.

I actually *feel *that way. I just wanted to concede the possibility that it might have something to do with my lack of spiritual maturity.

Francesca

 

[francesca_gen]

Francesca gen

A year’s worth of silence is indeed abusive. Add to my above experience that I spent my childhood with one of my parents giving me the silent treatment for one or two weeks at a time, and (although I can’t say I went through through what you have) I kind of know where you are coming from.

Ohhh I hear that. My dad stopped speaking to me when I was 8. He died when I was 24 and we may have exchanged twenty sentences in the intervening years. He provided for me and he was proud of me behind my back, but he didn’t like me much. (I was a smart aleck kid with a temper and incipient depression, and he was not at all prepared for that!)

We broke up because of a bad misunderstanding. And when I tried to clear it up at least enough to be friends, he told me that he never loved me. I went through hell with my feelings about that. But, through counseling and the love of my family and with God’s grace and the healing power of time, I feel so much better. With every year it gets better. I knew I was really doing well when all I could think of when I thought of him was, “I’m so glad I’m out of that.” In fact, I would find myself smiling and repeating it to myself aloud.

Wow. That’s quite the kick in the teeth! It was bad enough when my husband said he didn’t love me anymore.

I do know what you mean about the healing process, though. I am glad not to be in my marriage any longer, though I miss the friendship I had with my ex. We have a lot in common and a similar sense of humor, so I miss just hanging out with him. The heartache, however, has subsided.

Don’t give up, because the worst is behind you! I wish I was in my forties again, so I actually see you as the lucky one! But, we are both lucky because we leave behind the ones who didn’t love us well and we have life and opportunity ahead of us.

Yeah, to lots of folks I know I’m still a young 'un. My sisters are 14 and 16 years older than I am, so I have built-in comparisons. I’m trying to adjust my attitude and assuage the sadness enough to get “on a roll,” so to speak, of happiness rather than sorrow, so I can go out there and take advantage of the rest of my life!

I went to daily Mass today; got there early (it’s at six, so I can get home, feed the cats, and go out again) and just meditated and prayed for a bit. It truly was a balm.

As have everyone’s posts been!

Francesca

 

[geemom]

Francesca

I remember feeling and thinking quite along the same lines as your original post. I had prayed 7 years before I finally found my husband when I was 29yr old.
We have now been married 11 years. Although I can tell you, not without quite a bit of difficult times.
At age 24 or so I can recall my Catholic counselor telling me to try praying for your future spouse on a regular basis that the Lord help him with whatever he is struggling with.
I also recall praying to the good Lord that he give me the best possible spouse for me.
I can’t imagine being married to a very outgoing successful man with lots of inherited wealth, though my worldy desire says yes, ‘who I am’ says no because I am not outgoing, or wealthy and etcetera. Or rather somewhat based on the theory of social equity in human relationships one must ask the following “do I have or am I well on my way to having developed those qualities that I seek in a mate?”
I empathise with the pain of built up but dashed hopes for a relationship or even a particular guy you may have your eye on. However, yes the emotional heart does heal with prayer time and being active in your community with church, your family, work, friends, volunteering, hobbies, self development in spirtual, career, education and so forth.
Hey have you ever considered sky diving? too risky? ok how bout weekending at a horse ranch? Just think of all the stuff that you have the freedom, and money?, to do now as a single person that you may not have as a married person or as a married or single person with children to raise.
The love of God is always with us. perhaps we must plead with the Lord on a regular basis that we may regularly receive and feel complete in his love.

 

[Cara_Serrano]

" remember feeling and thinking quite along the same lines as your original post. I had prayed 7 years before I finally found my husband when I was 29yr old.
We have now been married 11 years. Although I can tell you, not without quite a bit of difficult."

I read this quote in the last post and it resonated with me.

I also prayed for the right spouse and I was surprised at whom God thought was “right” for me. Be careful what you pray for!

 

[Bob_Crowley]

Sometimes I get the sneaking suspicion that it’s God’s will that I be alone. And unfortunately, the one thing I have always wanted more than anything, since puberty, was love. Being not very pretty and an introverted bookworm has not helped, though…

…besides the obvious “no vocation” issue…

I won’t do anything rash (mortal sin, for one thing), but I do sometimes have a hard time coming up with reasons to slog along, alone, with no one to care for, no one to cook for, no one to sleep next to, no one to share the burdens and joys and adventures of life with. And now, not only am I a not-pretty introvert, I’m a middle-aged divorcee, too… not that alluring. ;-)…

Any insights for resigning myself to this with better grace? Right now I am soldiering through yet one more rejection, and I’ve grown really weary. Whenever I pray the Sorrowful Mysteries, I think of this as my cross to carry… but I’m not doing a good job of doing it with anything approaching a joyful heart. And I do wonder what God’s purpose here could be. Or if it even IS God’s will… If it is, I’m sure He’s not appreciating my glum, grumpy attitude toward it.

Ideas?

(Yes, I’ve prayed to St. Anne – someone from my Cursillo gave me her holy card for just that reason – and to St. Jude. To no apparent avail!)

Francesca

Francesca,

I’m writing a fair while after you put this online, so I hope you still get to read it. I’m on the other side of the Pacific, so there is probably a bit of a culture gap as well.

I’m male and my frustrations are of a different sort, mainly to do with career (or the lack of one). Whereas I suppose for a woman, companionship might be a bigger issue, for men the business of careers has a high psychological rating.

I’ve had a number of peculiar experiences. My father was very cruel. But to cut a long story short, he appeared in my room the night he died, started with an apology and finished the exchange with a blood curdling scream, then disappeared. That was 30 years ago and I still remember a considerable part of the exchange, and in particular the start and end.

Now in case you’re wondering if I’m a nut, my (Catholic) psychiatrist believes I saw him that night. I used to be Protestant, and my original pastor, a man for whom I eventually developed a great deal of respect, came to believe I’d seen him also.

During the exchange, when I accused him of wrecking my “career” or “vocation” possibilities, he replied, “It’s not even important!”. Now I still find that hard to bring home to my senses and conscious thinking, but when I challenged him as to what was important, I got the reply “How you treat other people”.

For him it was an insight that he discovered with blinding accuracy on that night, but too late to be of any use. He was finished.

For me it occasionally helps when I feel down about my lack of “vocational” status, particularly when I did quite well at school.

For you then, as a female, I suppose it might be that in the eternal scheme of things, being married might not be as important as you think it is. I know this is a hard insight to accept, and you will probably struggle with it just as much as I resent my non-career frustration.

And it is a form of suffering, which can be added to Christ’s suffering. Somehow (but don’t ask me how, because I don’t know) your suffering helps to heal others.

I don’t know if this much use to you, but I’ll leave it with you to think about.

Regards,

Bob Crowley

 

[AveSantaMaria]

The book Case for Christ by Lee Strobel, former atheist, Chicago Tribune Legal Editor, Yale law graduate turned Protestant minister (after writing this book) is logical and historical proof. The best proof I have ever read.

One you believe in Christianity, then Catholicism is obvious from a study of history:

The Gospels are Historical churchinhistory.org/pages/booklets/authors-gospels-1.htm

Scripture is infalliable because it was listed at the Synod of Hippo chaired by St. Augustine in the 300A.D.s and then later listed and disputed at the Synod of Rome and Synod of Carthage. However, during the Council of Trent during the Protestant Reformation it was first declared and made infalliable. Here is a link to the Council of Trent declaration that makes it infalliable. ewtn.com/library/councils/trent4.htm If it is the Magisterium taht tells us that Scripture is infalliable and rejects other Scriptures that propose to be true then how can we then reject the Magisterium and still lay claim to our belief in Scripture as infalliable. I understand the Magisterium to be a continuation of the Church that Christ established chaired by Peter that he said would not fail, which is what gave it the authority to declare something infalliable or not, such as Scripture.

The vicar of Christ is believed to be established from the living Church that Christ founded. We trace him directly to Peter - this means that just like a new apostle was chosen to replace Judas, with every death of the Bishop of Rome, Peter, a new Pope has been chosen from the earliest of times to replace the old Pope. The Pope leads the Church and is the one who has the moral authority to declare something like Scripture infalliable or not. He has the authority to choose the canon of Scripture and refute such as the Gospel of Peter or Gospel of Mary Magdalene.

The fact that there are disputes between Protestants and Catholics may just be an accumulation of division that we inherit because of people who left the Church that Christ established. Luther established a new Church and dispute certain books. He tried to remove Hebrews, James, Jude, and Revelations. These books are called Luther’s Antilegomena and stated that Revelation is “neither apostolic nor prophetic” and stated that “Christ is neither taught nor known in it.” Anglicans established a new Church when they didn’t like the rules on divorce in England. Mormons established a new Church. Seventh Day Adventists established a new Church. Muslims established a new Church. Now the gay bishop is establishing a new Church, splitting the Anglican church even further. Here is a papal timeline. faithfirst.com/html/popeJohn/timeline/timeline.html We have His Holiness St. Peter ca. 64, His Holiness St. Linus 67-76, His Holiness St. Anacletus (Cletus), 76-88, His Holiness St. Clement I, 88-97, His Holiness St. Evaristus, 97-105 and so on to His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI

Finally, see this thread: Approved Apparitions and the Coming Chastisement. It should certainly get a discussion going! It lists New York Times articles, Chicago Daily Tribune articles, etc. forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=4810889&postcount=1

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Also, at least one scientific miracle has been documented in a scientific journal.

In A.D. 700 “at the monastery of St. Loginus in Lanciano, Italy, a priest from the Order of St. Basil was celebrating Mass. Having doubted the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, the priest saw, during the consecration, the bread miraculously transfored into a circle of flesh and the wine appear as bright as fresh blood. Eventually, the liquefied blood turned into five pellets of various sizes and shapes. When the local archbishop later weighed the pellets, it was discovered that one nugget weighed the same as all five together, two as much as any three, and the smallest as much as the largest. In February of 1574, another test was done on the miraculous blood pellets. Again, any one of the pellets weighed along equaled the weight of all five pellets together. In 1970, further tests were made on the body and blood of Jesus. Analysis has proved that the bread and wine contain characteristics of real human flesh and blood. Both belonged to the same blood type, AB. Eventually the Franciscans rebuilt the church that houses the Eucharistic miracle of Lanciano. It is now called the Church of St. Francis (Michael Freze, S.F.O. Voices, Visions, and Apparitions) (concernedcatholics.org - This website is for sale! - obedience chastity virginity confession Eucharist Holy Communion last rites sacrament marriage Jesus Resources and Information.)”

This miracle was first studied scientifically in 1970-1971 by Dr. Edoardo Linoli, professor of anatomy, pathological histology, chemistry and clinical microsocpy, and the former head of the Laboratory of Pathological Anatomy at the Hospital of Arezzo, published in pub med: Quad Sclavo Digan. 1971. Sep; 7(3): 661-74. Histological, immunological and biochemiccal studies on the flesh and blood of the eucharistic miracle of Lanciano (8th century) ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/4950729?ordinalpos=28&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DefaultReportPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum
(Pubmed is a service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health that includes over 18 million citations from MEDLINE and other life science journals for biomedical articles back to the 1950s. PubMed includes links to full text articles and other related resources)

Findings:
"* The Flesh is real Flesh. The Blood is real Blood.

• The Flesh and the Blood belong to the human species.
• The Flesh consists of the muscular tissue of the heart.
• In the Flesh we see present in section: the myocardium, the endocardium, the vagus nerve and also the left ventricle of the heart for the large thickness of the myocardium.
• The Flesh is a “HEART” complete in its essential structure.
• The Flesh and the Blood have the same blood-type: AB(Blood-type identical to that which Prof. Baima Bollone uncovered in the Holy Shroud of Turin)
• In the Blood there were found proteins in the same normal proportions (percentage-wise) as are found in the sero-proteric make-up of the fresh normal blood.
• In the Blood there were also found these minerals: chlorides, phosphorus, magnesium, potassium, sodium and calcium.
• The preservation of the Flesh and of the Blood, which were left in their natural state for twelve centuries and exposed to the action of atmospheri and biological agents, remains an extraordinary phenomenon.

therealpresence.org/eucharst/mir/lanciano.html

 

[danonwaveland]

Now I still find that hard to bring home to my senses and conscious thinking, but when I challenged him as to what was important, I got the reply “How you treat other people”.

I just finished a book called “The Other Side,” by Michael Brown, the editor of www.spiritdaily.com. This book is a compilation on near-death experiences and some observations on the same. What was said more than once by those who allegedly had returned from near-death was what you were told, that how we treat each other is eminently important in God’s eyes. They even talked about the attitude with which we treat others. In any case, when I read your entry, Bob, that line jumped out at me. Thank you for sharing a difficult story.

God bless,
Dan

 

[Cara_Serrano]

Yes, I agree. I think God is fairly unimpressed with whom we married or what we do for a living. I’m reminded that he let his perfect, intelligent, and gifted son struggle through life as a poor, unmarried carpenter.

The spiritual litmus test is not about what we accomplish, but how we treat others along the way.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I just finished a book called “The Other Side,” by Michael Brown, the editor of www.spiritdaily.com. This book is a compilation on near-death experiences and some observations on the same. What was said more than once by those who allegedly had returned from near-death was what you were told, that how we treat each other is eminently important in God’s eyes. They even talked about the attitude with which we treat others. In any case, when I read your entry, Bob, that line jumped out at me. Thank you for sharing a difficult story.

God bless,
Dan

Your mention of “near-death” experiences reminds me of an another episode I experienced. A year or so ago I was arguing with atheists on a google web site about NDE’s (for short). As usual I was getting nowhere.

I prayed that I might meet someone who had experienced an NDE (The episode with my father didn’t count - he was dead, and I hadn’t experienced one myself). Now I do two part time jobs - an administration job, and part time Maxi Taxi driving (van equipped to pick up two wheelchairs or ten people).

About two days later I was hanging around a suburb called Boondall in Brisbane (Queensland, Australia) when a job came up on the screen requesting a Maxi Taxi for Brighton, a beachside suburb a few kilometres away.

I procrastinated for a few minutes, since it was a bit of a distance, although easy to get to from where I was. After it remained there, I put in for it and got it. It was a place called Eventide Nursing Home at Brighton. When I got there I found a single bloke about my age (mid fifties) who had only wanted an ordinary cab.

Anyway I had to take him to the Royal Brisbane Hospital for a checkup, which was a fairly good cab fare, and it gave us a chance to talk. We’d only been going a couple of minutes when he remarked, “I’m one of those unusual people”. I asked him what he was talking about and he said he’d been technically dead for ten minutes in an operation.

Briefly he could hear the doctors talking eg. “Better tell the Registrar”. There was also the usual white light, and what seemed to be a sense he was going back. His body shook, and he could hear “Hang on, his body just shook! We’d better try again!” They brought him around. In his own words, “You should have seen the looks on the doctors’ faces when they came to visit”.

However what intrigued me even more about this particular bloke was that he went to school with the eldest son of the very same uncle who turned up to tell me that my father had died.

That was a fair little string of coincidences - pray to meet an NDE, and two days later a glitch in the cab booking system reserved a case for me, and not only that, he had a sort of familial relation to my own father’s death. Greater Brisbane has a population of well over a million people, so the chances of it happening by chance were fairly remote.

I’ve had other odd things happen in relation to my father’s death and the episode when he appeared in my room. I didn’t find out for another four days by the way about his death by human means, because his body wasn’t discovered for four days.